upworthy

caretaking

Joy

Teacher starts doing her student's hair everyday after her parent died to take care of her

"I love being the teacher that I needed growing up."

Image via Canva

Elementary school teacher Alice Yates does hair for student who lost a parent.

Teachers play a much larger role than simply being educators. And elementary school teacher Alice Yates (@missaliceinteacherland) understands what it means to go above and beyond for her students, especially those in need.

In a new video shared on Instagram, Yates shared an emotional video about a student who recently lost a parent. After noticing she was coming to school with her hair unbrushed most days, she decided to step in with kindness and help take care of her by doing her hair everyday.

In the start of the video, Yates shows herself brushing out a little girl's hair as she tells her story in the captions. "A few months ago one of my student's parent died pretty suddenly...she was coming to school with her hair not even brushed most days," she writes. "I just wanted to help where I could. So I bought a cheap comb and hair ties so that I could at least do a basic pony for her to get her hair out of her face."


The small act of love did not go unnoticed. Her other students noticed Yates doing the student's hair, and wanted to get their hair done, too. "Then the other girls in the class started asking if I'd do their hair too. Now during breakfast, we have chitchats while we do hair! I wouldn't trade this time for anything. It has helped us all become so much closer.❤️"

She goes on to explain that she wasn't sure if parents would be okay with it, but was put at ease after getting a thankful message from one.

"I was a little nervous some parents might take it the wrong way that I'm doing their kids hair, but then I got this message: 'I just FaceTimed with [student's name] and saw her hair. It was adorable. Thank you for being extra sweet to my girl while I'm away. I don't even know what her hair looked like when she came in lol."

Yates offered more details as to why she treasures the personal interactions with her students. "I love being the teacher that I needed growing up...when I was a kid many of my teachers didn’t take the time to get to know us. They didn’t really show us love, tell us about their family, or even ask about ours," she writes. "They showed up, taught from a McGraw Hill Teacher Guide and went home. I think back on school and I hated it most years. I can count on one hand the teachers that I felt safe and happy with."

It was that experience that made her want to be a different teacher. "School filled me with so much anxiety and I think it’s a huge reason why I pour my heart and soul into teaching now," she writes. "I find so much comfort in looking into a parents eyes and telling them that I will take care of their baby, and they look back and me and know I mean it. ❤️"

Yates' emotional video got an incredibly supportive response from viewers. "And that’s a vocation right there & exactly the teacher our children need 💕," one wrote. Another shared, "This is beautiful bc when I was in 3rd grade my dad almost died in a motorcycle accident. Needless to say with no family nearby, most days I was barely dressed much less brushed. My teacher would bring barrettes to put up my hair and ill never forget the difference it made in my life ♡." And another viewer added, "They will never forget you and the time you took for them ❤️."

If you would like to contribute to Miss Alice's classroom, you can shop her Amazon Classroom Wishlist here.

From Your Site Articles
teacher
More

What 'Finding Dory' taught me about my son with autism.

My son, Tate, and I just got home from the new Pixar movie, "Finding Dory."

Dory's character is a blue tang fish. Image via iStock.

It’s been on our calendar for weeks, as are most animated films. Movies are Tate’s "thing," and we rarely miss one he shows an interest in.

I had not seen the trailer for "Finding Dory," so I only knew that it was a Pixar film and a sequel to "Finding Nemo." "Finding Nemo" was a favorite of Tate’s when he was young, so much so that he has a lot of the dialogue memorized. I knew Tate was going to love the movie, but I did not expect to be overly interested myself. I had no idea that three blue cartoon fish, a couple of clown fish, and a grumpy octopus (make that a septopus) would draw me in and cause me to feel gut-wrenching empathy and compassion.

I found myself comparing Tate and autism to Dory and her own disability.

In the movie, Dory was unable to remember the things she needed to do to be successful and to keep herself from harm. I saw myself in the caregivers who surrounded Dory and tried to keep her safe.

As a very small fish, Dory’s parents tried so hard to surround her with rules and plans to keep her safe and ultimately, lead her toward success. They taught her rhymes and songs to help her remember the safety rules, how to repeat her name and her diagnosis, and they showed her how to get back home by creating a special marked path.

Still, Dory’s mother cried and worried because it might not be enough.

Image via Lisa Smith, used with permission.

I remember all the discrete trial programs we had for Tate, such as memorizing his parents’ names and his address. Those things meant nothing to him, but he could spout them if asked. In the autism community, we have T-shirts that help our kids tell others they have autism. There are ID bracelets available. We can buy signs for our cars and even stickers to put on their bedroom windows for rescue workers to see. Some of us also have service dogs and special locks on our doors. We are extremely careful.

And we still worry, too. What if?

Dory, as a young fish, could not advocate for herself or find help once she was lost. As an adult fish, she depended on others to keep her safe. At 14 years old, Tate cannot communicate well enough to advocate for himself among strangers nor would he know who to turn to and ask for help. Through no fault of her own, Dory made tremendous mistakes at times, and she felt guilty because she could not do the things she felt she should have been able to do.

I hear Tate constantly apologizing for things he cannot do because of his autism. And while I assure him that there is no need to apologize, my heart aches for him.

Nemo is a character that didn't give up on Dory, much like Tate’s friends at school. Nemo knew Dory was capable of more than she was being given credit for. He was supportive and patient, ready to help but willing to wait to see if Dory could do it herself, similar to how Tate’s friends encourage him and know just when to step in to help.

Nemo is based on a clownfish. Image via iStock.

Dory’s caretakers were understanding and patient with her most of time, but occasionally when things were tense, someone snapped at her, making her feel like a failure. At one point in the movie, Marlin criticized Dory, and it crushed her. This scene was telling of our own lives. It rarely happens in our home, but I’m not perfect. Marlin spent a few minutes in denial that he had said anything wrong, then much longer beating himself up for what he said. Once again, I saw myself in the animated character on the screen.

Marlin underestimated Dory several times in this movie. While she had special needs, there were some things she could do well. There have been many times I have doubted Tate and he has shown me just how wrong I was. At the end of the film, we saw Marlin trying so hard to trust in Dory like Nemo does. But even after he had learned his lesson, he still followed and spied from afar to make sure Dory was safe. And Dory knew.

Dory knew that Marlin was watching and there for her if she needed him, just like I will always be there for Tate.

It is such a fine line we walk — or swim.

More

After his wife's diagnosis, he became her caretaker. One woman's gift is helping him continue.

True
Ad Council + AARP

12 years ago, Brent's wife, Ruth, noticed that one of her fingers was stiff and she had trouble holding it still.

It was the first sign of Parkinson's. The disease eventually spread its symptoms to the rest of her body, leaving her with severely limited mobility. Ruth now needs help with everything from eating to turning over when she gets uncomfortable during the night.

When Brent helps her, he just sees it as an extension of loving and caring for his wife before the Parkinson's.

He is his wife's caregiver. He helps her eat, walk, and do small stuff like "scratching her nose," he says. The couple attends church together as well.

But one thing got in the way: their van.

They drove to church, and everywhere else, in the van they'd had for countless years. Well-loved but worn down at over 270,000 miles, the van was rapidly deteriorating.

GIFs via David West/"The Van"/YouTube.

"It would start up and drive and then when it got hot, and we stopped, it would leave us stranded," says Brent in the video. If he tried to jump-start it, things would often start smoking, particularly the air conditioning.

Finally, it was someone else's turn to take on some of the burden and care for both Brent and Ruth.

Janet West had purchased a new car, and her previous Honda van was in need of a new home. With so many family memories in the van, Janet wanted to pass it on to another family where it could accumulate even more.

Not long after she purchased her new car, someone at church praised Janet's son for helping a family from the congregation repair their vehicle in the parking lot. It was Brent and Ruth's old van, breaking down again as they tried to make their way home after that day's service.

So she just gave them her old one.

It was a simple decision for her, but the new van has been a "wonderful blessing" for Brent and Ruth. Without the constant need to repair or restart their vehicle, Brent can better care for his wife and make sure she's comfortable.

"Lots of times people think in order to bless other people it takes huge financial gifts, [but] I was able to figure out something that was a very simple thing," says Janet.

As for being his wife's caregiver, Brent says, "I feel privileged to be able to do this."

Caregivers are all around us and they need care, too.

  • 55% of family caregivers report being overwhelmed by the amount of care their family member needs. (AARP)
  • Nearly 4 in 10 (38%) family caregivers report a moderate (20%) to high degree (18%) of financial strain as a result of providing care. (AARP)
  • In 2014, 60% of family caregivers had full- or part-time jobs. (AARP)

Maybe you know someone in your life who acts as a caregiver to friend or family member. Maybe there's an unpaid caregiver in your community who you haven't gotten to know. It's these people who need your support.

For people who already give so much of themselves to keep their loved ones safe and comfortable, help is a priceless gift.

"I think it is really important that we are aware of those people who are caregivers," says Brent. "They do need the extra help."

Watch Brent and Ruth's story in this awesome PSA below:

Trending Stories