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There's a myth floating around that all parents experience love at first sight when their kids are born.

We're told by movies, TV shows, and even commercials that becoming a parent triggers an instant and unbreakable bond between us and our children.

But ... if you want to know the truth? That doesn't always happen.


It's pretty common for new parents to deal with confusing bouts of indifference and postpartum depression, and it doesn't help that babies and young kids aren't always completely comfortable with one or both parents right away.

Biological dads can be at particular risk for feeling a little left out, especially if mom is breastfeeding and they don't want to intrude on that process.

Terence Mentor, who blogs under the name AfroDaddy, opened up about his own struggles bonding with his son in an emotional Facebook post.

His first son was adopted, he says, which meant it was easy for him and his wife to take turns feeding him and pacifying him. His bond with his son was instant.

But Mentor's younger son, now 2 years old, took a little longer to warm up to dear old dad. His son had an instant connection with his mom, however, and when that comfort gap lasted beyond the newborn phase, it was emotionally brutal on Mentor.

Something magical happened last night.But before I tell you what it was, you need a bit of background:Ever since my...

Posted by AfroDaddy on Monday, September 4, 2017

On Facebook, he lamented:

"It is quite a thing to be a dad who can't comfort his child, who is constantly told 'No, I go to mommy', who never seems to have a real, relational moment with his own son."

He felt extremely jealous of the bond his son had with his wife. "It was actually more difficult than I had allowed myself to admit," he explains in a Facebook message. "For the first time, I had real doubts about my ability to be a truly involved dad."

After an agonizing two years, things are starting to turn around. Mentor says his son is finally starting to show some real affection for his dad, celebrating a particularly "magical" milestone in his Facebook post:

"This child, who would cry when I so much as looked his way, came to me [last night] for his comfort and calm. Not going to lie ... I got a little teary eyed."

These feelings of "indifference" can go both ways, of course.

While kids may express a preference for one parent over the other, sometimes new parents just don't feel that instantaneously deep love they expect they should feel for the new baby.

These feelings are actually super-duper normal, family therapist Leslie Seppinni told ABC News. "It's not automatic that you're going to bond with your child. Usually it does take a little while," she says.

It's hard to be patient, but if Mentor has learned anything, it's that you have to push through those tough times by giving loads of affection — even if you're not getting it in return.

You also have to talk about how you're feeling, he says.

"Frankly, dads don't talk about this kind of thing, so I have a suspicion that moms think we don't care that our child doesn't want to be with us or have anything to do with us," he says. "We care. We care a lot."

He hopes his story, which has been shared far and wide, encourages more parents to stop beating ourselves up and just be honest with ourselves and our partners.

A breastfeeding mother's experience at Vienna's Schoenbrunn Zoo is touching people's hearts—but not without a fair amount of controversy.

Gemma Copeland shared her story on Facebook, which was then picked up by the Facebook page Boobie Babies. Photos show the mom breastfeeding her baby next to the window of the zoo's orangutan habitat, with a female orangutan sitting close to the glass, gazing at them.

"Today I got feeding support from the most unlikely of places, the most surreal moment of my life that had me in tears," Copeland wrote.

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RumorGuard by The News Literacy Project.

The 2016 election was a watershed moment when misinformation online became a serious problem and had enormous consequences. Even though social media sites have tried to slow the spread of misleading information, it doesn’t show any signs of letting up.

A NewsGuard report from 2020 found that engagement with unreliable sites between 2019 and 2020 doubled over that time period. But we don’t need studies to show that misinformation is a huge problem. The fact that COVID-19 misinformation was such a hindrance to stopping the virus and one-third of American voters believe that the 2020 election was stolen is proof enough.

What’s worse is that according to Pew Research, only 26% of American adults are able to distinguish between fact and opinion.

To help teach Americans how to discern real news from fake news, The News Literacy Project has created a new website called RumorGuard that debunks questionable news stories and teaches people how to become more news literate.

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Family

A mom describes her tween son's brain. It's a must-read for all parents.

"Sometimes I just feel really angry and I don’t know why."

This story originally appeared on 1.05.19


It started with a simple, sincere question from a mother of an 11-year-old boy.

An anonymous mother posted a question to Quora, a website where people can ask questions and other people can answer them. This mother wrote:

How do I tell my wonderful 11 year old son, (in a way that won't tear him down), that the way he has started talking to me (disrespectfully) makes me not want to be around him (I've already told him the bad attitude is unacceptable)?

It's a familiar scenario for those of us who have raised kids into the teen years. Our sweet, snuggly little kids turn into moody middle schoolers seemingly overnight, and sometimes we're left reeling trying to figure out how to handle their sensitive-yet-insensitive selves.


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