This guy has some advice for every dad out there whose kids ‘prefer mommy.’
There’s a myth floating around that all parents experience love at first sight when their kids are born. We’re told by movies, TV shows, and even commercials that becoming a parent triggers an instant and unbreakable bond between us and our children. But … if you want to know the truth? That doesn’t always happen.…
There’s a myth floating around that all parents experience love at first sight when their kids are born.
We’re told by movies, TV shows, and even commercials that becoming a parent triggers an instant and unbreakable bond between us and our children.
But … if you want to know the truth? That doesn’t always happen.
It’s pretty common for new parents to deal with confusing bouts of indifference and postpartum depression, and it doesn’t help that babies and young kids aren’t always completely comfortable with one or both parents right away.
Biological dads can be at particular risk for feeling a little left out, especially if mom is breastfeeding and they don’t want to intrude on that process.
Terence Mentor, who blogs under the name AfroDaddy, opened up about his own struggles bonding with his son in an emotional Facebook post.
His first son was adopted, he says, which meant it was easy for him and his wife to take turns feeding him and pacifying him. His bond with his son was instant.
But Mentor’s younger son, now 2 years old, took a little longer to warm up to dear old dad. His son had an instant connection with his mom, however, and when that comfort gap lasted beyond the newborn phase, it was emotionally brutal on Mentor.
On Facebook, he lamented:
“It is quite a thing to be a dad who can’t comfort his child, who is constantly told ‘No, I go to mommy’, who never seems to have a real, relational moment with his own son.”
He felt extremely jealous of the bond his son had with his wife. “It was actually more difficult than I had allowed myself to admit,” he explains in a Facebook message. “For the first time, I had real doubts about my ability to be a truly involved dad.”
After an agonizing two years, things are starting to turn around. Mentor says his son is finally starting to show some real affection for his dad, celebrating a particularly “magical” milestone in his Facebook post:
“This child, who would cry when I so much as looked his way, came to me [last night] for his comfort and calm. Not going to lie … I got a little teary eyed.”
These feelings of “indifference” can go both ways, of course.
While kids may express a preference for one parent over the other, sometimes new parents just don’t feel that instantaneously deep love they expect they should feel for the new baby.
These feelings are actually super-duper normal, family therapist Leslie Seppinni told ABC News. “It’s not automatic that you’re going to bond with your child. Usually it does take a little while,” she says.
It’s hard to be patient, but if Mentor has learned anything, it’s that you have to push through those tough times by giving loads of affection — even if you’re not getting it in return.
You also have to talk about how you’re feeling, he says.
“Frankly, dads don’t talk about this kind of thing, so I have a suspicion that moms think we don’t care that our child doesn’t want to be with us or have anything to do with us,” he says. “We care. We care a lot.”
He hopes his story, which has been shared far and wide, encourages more parents to stop beating ourselves up and just be honest with ourselves and our partners.
In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.
“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.
“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.
Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.
Understanding the journey
Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.
Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.
A warm welcome
Dee and Omary's son, Osman
Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.
“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”
Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.
“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”
Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.
“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”
More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.
“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”
Extending the welcome
Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.
Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.
“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.
Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.
“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.
“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”
Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.
This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.
Twelve years ago, this unassuming couple went viral for the greatest gas station karaoke performance ever. – Photo credit: Monifa Sims (used with permission)
When Will and Monifa Sims stopped to get gas in Burbank, California, in 2013, they had no idea they were about to become a viral sensation. What began as a little “go-with-the-flow” singing on the spot at a gas station altered their lives forever.
Here’s what happened: Will began pumping gas when suddenly actor Tim Stack (playing newscaster Jack Rafferty) appeared on a tiny TV above pump 16. What Will didn’t know was that this was one of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno’s pranks, where a fake newscast appears. The fake newscaster then asks a gas station patron to perform some type of wacky stunt or sing their favorite karaoke song. In exchange, they’re told they’ll get free gas.
The setup
After Will hummed a few bars of a song to himself, Stack suddenly addressed him. “You at pump 16 in Burbank. You’ve got a real nice singing voice.” It took Will a few seconds to understand what was happening, but he soon laughed and expressed gratitude. Stack continued, “Do you do that professionally?” Will answered, “No, just karaoke.”
It was then that Stack made him a proposition: “Guess what? We’ll pay for your gasoline. How ’bout a little karaoke from you?”
Will was totally game. He didn’t hesitate for a second. “Okay! What you want?” It was determined that Will was an “eighties kid,” so he liked Bon Jovi. They decided “Livin’ on a Prayer” was the way to go, and Stack asked, “Do you need the words?” Will answered emphatically, “No, I know ’em, baby.”
He started singing the 1986 hit with all his might. “Tommy used to work on the docks / Union’s been on strike / it’s tough / So tough.” He went on, nailing every note, even hitting the falsetto parts in the chorus. “Ooooh, we’re halfway there / Oh, oh! Livin’ on a prayer…” We then heard another voice on the “TV” note, “The girl in the front seat is just dying.”
Will finished strong and asked, “How was that?” Stack asked if it was his wife in the car, and Will didn’t miss the opportunity to ask if she should show off her skills as well. “Want to do it as a duet?” Monifa wasn’t quite ready, so Stack continued complimenting Will while he improvised, “Oh, oh! Livin’ on a tank of gas! Livin’…for…the…gas…whoa!”
Other customers at the station began gathering to see where the “pumpcast” was set up. Perhaps they’ll get lucky too. But it was Monifa who Stack and the gang had their sights on. And somehow, they convinced her.
“‘Sweet Dreams’ by the Eurythmics!” she says boldly. Stack gets the words up on his laptop, shows them to the camera, and away she goes. “Sweet dreams are made of these / Who am I to disagree / I travel the world and the seven seas / Everybody’s looking for something…” Like her husband, she is 100 percent on key and outstanding. Will chimes in every once in a while (especially on the “Hold your head up / Keep your head up” part), and they finish perfectly.
It’s then that Stack informs them enthusiastically, “You’re gonna be on Jay Leno on The Tonight Show.” Now what started out as an unusually awesome day just got even better. They both scream with delight, “Oh yeah! Tell Bon Jovi I love him!”
The pair did joyously make it onto The Tonight Show, wherein Leno admits, “It almost seems like a plant. We had no idea these people would come to the tank.” Monifa jokes there’s no way she could have known ahead of time, because she’d have prepared. “I wouldn’t have looked like that! That wasn’t my best look after working out.”
Leno asked how long the couple had been married. They answered, “Twelve years this year!” They then shouted out their daughter in the audience. Of course, the appearance wouldn’t have been complete without a song. This time, they got an entire band backing their duet rendition of “Livin’ on a Prayer.” Once again, it was absolute perfection.
People are loving the viral revival
The original clip is making the rounds once more, and, as one might imagine, social media is loving it.
On YouTube, it continues to spark joy. “I come back to this video every so often for the past few years…always puts a smile on my face,” one person wrote. “This couple is so cool and down to earth…not bad singers either.”
One fan on Facebook wrote, “This couple will be retired, 90 years of age, re-watching this beautiful clip on some new platform. This is LOVE right there.”
Where are they now?
That prediction seems to be true so far. Upworthy had the chance to chat with Monifa, who gave us a bit more information about that fateful day.
“It happened in Burbank, California, where, believe it or not, lots of good things used to happen like this, so it was not uncommon at all,” she said. She shared that it was a no-brainer to take the challenge. “We’re always up for a good time, so a good time paired with a free tank of gas was easy.”
She said the virality of it was surprising:
“We were absolutely shocked about how viral it went and still continues to be. That was made 12 years ago. It was on the cusp of YouTube becoming really big. There was no Instagram or TikTok. Once it was over, we went home and didn’t even think twice about it until The Tonight Show reached out to us about how funny they thought it was. I always say editing really helped it to be funny, but obviously, you can only edit what you have.”
As for where they are now? Still happily together and working.
“I am a host on QVC. Will is bicoastal (works in LA a few months of the year, so he travels back and forth). Most exciting? Right now, we are in our year of 25! We are celebrating 25 years of marriage in July, but we have been celebrating all year long. We started off the year with an amazing trip to Phuket, Thailand, and Bali! We will be celebrating more this year with friends and family as well.”
They’re creating more consistent content and trying to grow their brand. “I wrote a cookbook,” Monifa shares, referring to Life in Full Flavor. And as for their karaoke songs? “They really have not changed, but we sing a little bit of everything to keep it spicy!”
Today’s teachers have more than their fair share of complaints about Gen Z and Gen Alpha students. Educators say many of them are rude, behind on core skills, inattentive, and unmotivated.
One teacher just wishes they’d stop breaking all of her pencils. In a recent video on TikTok, Jess, who teaches middle school, shared that her students were losing and destroying their supplies at an alarming rate, forcing her to rethink her classroom pencil policy.
“My students went through 2,000 pencils in four months,” she says. That’s the fastest rate she’s seen in her seven years of teaching. She says much of it comes down to the kids purposefully breaking and throwing the pencils in class.
But to make matters worse, these were no ordinary pencils. Jess supplies her classes with Dixon Ticonderoga No. 2 pencils, widely considered the cream of the crop of everyday writing pencils. Jess pays for them each semester out of her own pocket because she believes it’s important for her students to have access to high-quality materials, and we all know the school district isn’t going to pony up. That’s what makes the loss of so many pencils in such a short amount of time so frustrating.
Teacher Jess came up with a great idea
“There is a lack of respect for property that isn’t theirs,” she says. Jess then had an interesting choice. She could stop buying and issuing high-quality pencils, but would the kids really learn anything? Ultimately, she came up with a better idea: a clever new classroom pencil policy.
Starting in the new semester at the beginning of 2026, each of her students would receive one pencil per month. Not only that, but the pencil would be engraved with their name. If they lose their pencil before the month is up, they’re out of luck. Jess even went out of her way to get each kid the color and style of their choice, along with a pencil pouch to make it easier to keep track of their writing tool.
new year, new pencil policy ✏️ the problem has gotten to the point where I’m now engraving students’ names into @Ticonderoga pencils to teach them about respect & accountability✨ Would you try this pencil policy? #teachers#asmr#diy @xtoolofficial
A few months later, Jess was ready to issue a long-awaited update. Since her first post went up on social media, it has received over eight million views and thousands of comments from fellow teachers and parents cheering her on.
In short, it worked out far better than she ever could have hoped. Not only did the new policy help her preserve more pencils and save money on supplies, but the kids also began internalizing some amazing lessons.
Personal property became a point of pride for her students
For starters, the kids loved the pencils in their chosen color with their name engraved on the side. They were excited to take better care of them and were motivated to avoid losing them and being stuck with whatever cheap loaner was lying around.
The new policy even began to have an impact on the sense of community in the classroom. Jess was able to teach a few students to use the engraving machine, so now the kids are responsible for making their own new batch of pencils every month.
She also noticed that students were beginning to help each other out and hold each other accountable. After class, students scoop up loose pencils from the floor and return them to their rightful owners or drop them in the lost-and-found box. A few kids still struggle with throwing and breaking pencils, but the majority of her kids have fully gotten on board.
Overall, the system is a vast improvement in more ways than one.
update on our new pencil policy ✏️ here’s what happened after engraving students’ names into Dixon Ticonderoga pencils… Would you try this pencil policy? #teachers#asmr#DIY
Surprisingly, teachers have come up with all kinds of inventive ways to keep students from losing or breaking classroom supplies, especially pencils.
Classroom pencil policy strategies range from “pencil debt,” a system in which the class works as a group to keep track of all pencils throughout the week, to reward charts, regular check-ins, collateral systems, and more.
Dedicated educators make a real difference
It’s amazing that educators would go through so much trouble. Perhaps the more obvious solution would be to just force kids to provide their own supplies if they can’t be trusted to take care of the ones their teachers provide.
It’s not an exaggeration to say that nearly every teacher at some point is forced to buy needed supplies for the classroom out of their own paycheck. They’re also severely underpaid in most cases, which makes the burden of furnishing the class that much heavier.
However, the best educators, like Jess, refuse to give up on the younger generations. Instead, they find problems that seem hopeless—like a lack of respect for materials—and creatively turn them into teachable moments. She could have cut them off, expressed her disappointment, and left them feeling dejected. But instead, she crafted a brilliant lesson in responsibility, respect, and community. Her students will carry it with them into their next classrooms and beyond.
There seem to be two different ways of thinking about who we are attracted to, whether it’s in a romantic or a social relationship. Is it that opposites attract, or do birds of a feather flock together? The evidence overwhelmingly shows that likability has much more to do with what we share with others than with the traits that set us apart.
In fact, a 2023 study from the University of Colorado Boulder found that historically, romantic couples tend to share between 82% and 89% of the same personality traits.
“Our findings demonstrate that birds of a feather are indeed more likely to flock together,” said study author Tanya Horwitz, a doctoral candidate in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience and the Institute for Behavioral Genetics, in a press release.
“How can we use the similarity-attraction effect to be more likable? Easy. You want to highlight your similarities. Here’s how to do this in an authentic way,” Van Edwards says in her video before sharing her three-step process:
Step 1: Search for similarities
“When you first meet someone, you should constantly be on the lookout for similarities. Are you both drinking red wine? Do you both know the host from work? Do you both love Thai food? Orient your first few conversational topics to find mutual likes and dislikes.”
Step 2: Capitalize on similarities
“Once you find a similarity, don’t let it pass you by. For example, if they think cilantro tastes like soap—because it does—share in the grossness. Double down on that disgusting little herb by saying, ‘Oh yeah, cilantro is the silent food killer. I’m totally on the same page.’ I’m a big fan of the high five, too. If I hear someone also loves Seinfeld, I’m like, ‘High five.’”
Step 3: Extend similarities
“This means using the similarity as a conversational diving board. If you both love watching soccer, ask if they’ve ever played. If they’re big into hiking, ask for their favorite trail and maybe throw out an option to go hike together. This builds on the similarity-attraction effect and creates rapport.”
It’s also important that when we meet people, we ask them about their likes and dislikes, because one of the quickest tricks to being likable when you meet someone new is to ask plenty of questions. Harvard University performed a study and found that after you ask someone the first question, ask two follow-ups, and they’ll be much more likely to like you. Studies show that the most likable people like others.
Now, for a tongue-twister takeaway from this likability story: We like people who are like us, and we also like people who like us. “So get real on what you love, and then highlight that love in other people,” Van Edwards says at the end of her video.
Vincint Cannady, who uses they/them pronouns, recently opened up about the grieving process a year after losing their mother. On the podcast Tell Me Something Messy, the musician explains that the loss of their mother came four years after the death of their father. “It is the strangest feeling not having them here,” Cannady says.
Losing a loved one is an unfortunate part of life that most people will experience. No two people grieve the same, but some things about grief remain consistent for everyone. Grief is not linear, and it can show up unexpectedly. But for viewers of the podcast, Cannady’s analogy about grief moved some to tears.
Admittedly, the grieving child did not create the analogy, but read it somewhere and found it helpful. The singer explains that losing your parents takes away a certain amount of joy that you don’t realize until you experience it.
“I read something the other day that I thought was really beautiful,” Cannady says. “Grief is like glitter. I don’t know about you, but I hate glitter. It’s lovely at first in small doses, but like grief, you don’t know when it’s coming. You don’t know how much of it is going to be there, but like glitter, glitter gets everywhere.”
They go on to explain that, like after coming into contact with glitter, you find grief everywhere. “It comes in doses, and you’re overwhelmed, and you hate it, and you want to get it off, and you don’t know how to, but it’s there.”
As time passes, the person wearing the glitter showers some of it away, but some still remains. No matter how much you try to rid yourself of it, glitter still shows up. The same goes for grief. No matter how much you try to rid yourself of grief, it still pops up in unexpected places.
It’s then that Cannady shares something beautiful. After fighting with the sticky, sparkly grief for what feels like an eternity, it’s not as present.
“And then days pass, and weeks pass, and months pass,” Cannady tells the podcast host, Brandon Kyle Goodman. “And then someday you’re in your closet, and you pull out a coat or a jacket, and a bit of glitter falls on your hand, and you get sad because you remember what that glitter means. But it’s not as heavy as it was before, and it’s not as messy as it was before.”
As time passes, glitter is found less often. However, Cannady explains that glitter is part of you now: “Even though it is annoying at times, and sometimes it gets in your eye, but you get it out, and you move on. You remain shiny. It’s just a remembrance of a lot of love.”
The singer shares advice for those experiencing grief, saying that people should give themselves grace. They encourage others not to focus on how other people feel about how you feel about your grief. Grieving is personal, but talking about it with others is therapeutic, according to Cannady. They share that pouring grief into other things, like work or creativity, can be helpful.
“You have to find ways to pour your grief into other things,” they advise. “You pour your grief into your work. You pour your grief into life. You pour your grief into your friends and your relationships, and you make sure that they know how much it means to you. Because it’s not just grief, because before it was grief, it was love. It’s still love. It’s just love in absence.”
When the clip was shared to Instagram, people were moved to tears.
One person comments, “Whew, and just like that — my glitter is back.”
“Whew, I think I have a piece of glitter in my eye because…. I lost my father in July and it truly changes you,” someone else writes.
“I remember I couldn’t say my mom died out loud,” another person shares. “If I did, I would burst into tears. It felt too real!! Saying it out loud almost 2 1/2 years later, it still feels unreal, but it doesn’t hurt as much. I still cry a little while saying it.”
Everyone’s heard of Staples. But now people are actually going there in droves thanks to one employee affectionately known online as the “Staples Baddie.”
Back in January, Kaeden Rowland, a Staples employee, filmed a brief clip of herself during a work shift. Donning the recognizable red shirt and lanyard, she quipped, “You finna need something printed? I gotchyu.”
That single video quickly turned into a mega-viral series. It’s a fun combination of slang-filled humor, nail-clacking ASMR, and genuinely helpful tutorials and insights. The content is breathing new life into the brand and being hailed by fans and experts alike as “marketing genius.”
A major aspect of Rowland’s shtick is explaining certain lesser-known services you can get at Staples. In one particularly popular video, she quips:
“It’s come to my attention that y’all don’t really know the full scope of what Staples, like, does. We can make ornaments. We can make mugs, shirts, backpacks, signs, posters, whatever you could need. A banner that’s like eight feet long? Sure. Why not?”
In another video, she explains the difference between Staples’ direct-mail services. One is for business and can generate a mailing list based on a target demographic. The other is for personal use, like wedding invitations. Though she jokes that either service is too pricey for committing “evil against your ex.”
Other times, you might catch her letting you know when certain things go on sale: “You’re not getting your shawty a 40% off mug from Staples? And men wonder why women cheat.”
She also dissects the different personalities of the printers (the Xerox PrimeLink C9200 has “clean girl” vibes, apparently). Finally, she hits a groove showcasing some of her favorite stationery products. At the moment, she’s very into a tiny botanical planner that fits into her small purse.
Despite not having any formal marketing training, Rowland has made an undeniable impact. A company struggling to stay competitive now has fresh enthusiasm. Folks are getting their personalized mugs there. They’re switching suppliers. They’re even using Staples to supply their best analog life. The best part is none of this is because of an expensive micro-influencer, but someone who actually works there.
In a video analyzing the Staples Baddie, marketing analyst and PR expert Katie Omstead said, “Just a scan of the comments on any of these videos will show you that people are thinking about Staples more than ever before.”
Rowland is just the latest in a growing trend of people who happened to share their creative ideas at just the right time, somehow skyrocketing to full-blown brand collaborations. Think back to Romeo, whose silly Dr Pepper jingle went viral.
MarketerMilk calls this “human-first media,” where corporations rely on the fact that “people buy things from people they trust, not from businesses.” This can look like companies “leveraging their existing employees to become influencers.”
This, of course, can also look like corporations trying to recreate something organic, thus squelching its spark. One Staples employee lamented on Reddit that their team is being encouraged to replicate the Staples Baddie moment in their own stores.
On the bright side, Staples has shared their appreciation for their resident “Baddie.” Not only have they sent a care package Rowland’s way, according to Fast Company, it’s also “exploring opportunities to collaborate and continue supporting her creativity and engagement with the community.”
We very well might be seeing much more of the Staples Baddie in the future.
Do you feel like your brain is constantly juggling a million things? Like your mind is on overload and you cannot focus? Between the effects of scrolling social media, navigating the 24/7 news cycle, and managing work and family life, your brain can easily feel overwhelmed.
Even when you have quiet moments of calm, your mind might still feel too cluttered to get your thoughts in order. However, according to pediatric neurologist Dr. Arif Khan, there is an old-school solution to that problem with modern science to back it up: journaling. Khan goes a step further by sharing three specific techniques and the neuroscience behind why they help.
“In brain scans, something remarkable happens when people write about their feelings,” Khan says in a YouTube video. “The regions for motion and the regions for reasoning begin to synchronize, as if the brain is learning to talk to itself. That is the hidden power of journaling. It’s not just reflection. It’s neurological repair.”
Khan explains that when you write, your prefrontal cortex—the brain area that helps with planning and analysis—begins to communicate with your amygdala, the brain’s emotional reaction center. He cites a 2021 Stanford University study, which demonstrated that expressive writing can help your brain recover from stress.
“The mid-cingulate cortex, which usually fires under emotional pressure, becomes calmer and more coordinated,” says Khan. “And when you put emotions into words, the ventrolateral prefrontal cortex turns on, helping to quiet the amygdala. This process is called affect labeling; it allows you to feel without drowning in the feeling.”
Writing by hand matters, Khan adds.
“A 2023 study in Frontiers in Psychology showed that handwriting activates more areas of the brain than typing,” he says. “When your hand moves with your thoughts, that is, the mind slows down just enough to make sense of itself.”
Here are three journaling techniques Khan recommends to reduce brain clutter:
Technique #1: Expressive writing
Expressive writing, a technique developed by psychologist James Pennebaker, involves writing about something you feel strongly about.
“Think about something you still carry—a disappointment, a loss, a moment that lingers longer than it should,” Khan says. Then write about it for 15 to 20 minutes.
“Don’t worry about grammar,” he adds. “Don’t edit. Don’t write for anyone else. Write until you run out of words.”
Khan says this technique is effective because the brain treats emotional suppression as “unfinished work.”
“Studies show that after expressive writing, the brain’s emotional centers quiet down while cognitive control increases,” he explains. “Your body feels lighter because your mind has stopped trying to contain what it has finally released. You might cry. You might feel tired. You might want to stop halfway. That’s okay. Healing requires a small amount of discomfort before calm returns.”
Technique #2: Gratitude journaling
Gratitude journals aren’t new, but Khan explains how and why they work from a neurological point of view.
Instead of writing about what’s troubling you, write down two or three things you’re grateful for. It could be anything, but stay specific. (Khan gives examples like “the smell of rain,” “a message from a friend that came at just the right time,” or “a meal that made you feel safe.”)
“Gratitude journaling doesn’t force positivity,” says Khan. “It retrains your attention. Neuroscientists have found that practicing gratitude activates the ventral striatum and the medial prefrontal cortex regions that regulate mood and motivation. When you do this daily, you teach your brain to look for what is stable instead of what is threatening.”
Khan says gratitude journaling “tunes your nervous system towards balance.” Rather than erasing struggle, it helps you see beyond it.
Technique #3: Reflective reframing
Reflective reframing journaling focuses on a specific incident and helps you work through it. Khan says to think of a challenge you’ve had and write about it plainly. No judgment, just write what happened. Then write down:
What it meant.
What it revealed.
What it taught you.
One small action you can take the next time something like that happens.
Emotion regulation is like other skills: it takes practice.
After 2 weeks of daily journaling to reframe unpleasant events, depression dropped, life satisfaction rose, and the benefits lasted at least a month.
“This pattern strengthens the prefrontal regions that regulate emotional reactivity,” Khan says. “It builds the ability to pause and reinterpret before reacting. You learn to step back—not to detach, but to understand. Over time, this practice reshapes resilience itself. You begin to see difficulties not as failures, but as data points for growth. That subtle shift changes how your brain responds to future stress.”
Journaling rewires the brain over time
Khan says you don’t have to use all three journaling techniques every day.
“Think of journaling as mental cross training,” he says. “Use expressive writing when emotions feel heavy. Use gratitude journaling when you feel numb or distant. Use reflective reframing when life feels confusing. Each practice strengthens a different circuit of awareness.”
Khan says that journaling isn’t just self-expression but self-construction. While it can help in the moment, the real power is the change that happens over weeks or months. “You pause longer before reacting. You remember more clearly. You recover more quickly,” says Khan.
Journaling has genuinely changed my life.
I used to think it was just another trend people hype up for a few weeks and move on from. But it works like magic, and the reason is surprisingly simple: it reduces cognitive load.
If you are someone who deeply cares about everything,…
People in the comments of Khan’s video shared their own experiences with how journaling has impacted their lives:
“I’ve done all these. I’m 68 now, and I’ve been journaling since I was 13. I have all of these journals. It is all very true and tried out. Today, people ask me how do I live my life so well. This is one of the secrets…..”
“This is fascinating. When I was about 12, I had a teacher who made us keep journals, and we would write about a given promt for 10 minutes at the start of each class. On the days when we wrote about something negative/stressful, she always told us to just keep writing until every single word we had about the topic had drained out. Sounds like we were actually doing technique #1!”
“I recently went thru a 12 year relationship breakup. I felt so bad , like no pain I had ever experienced before. After two weeks of this agony I started a journal and wrote whatever came into my mind including my diet. Now, a month and a half later I have stopped daily entries and my anxiety has dropped from 100 pc every day for a month to almost zero. I write as I feel the need. What an amazing insight this video has given me.”
“I have survived and thrived by doing this kind of journaling since 1996 when my husband left me with our three wonderful children (thank God for them!). I highly recommend writing as often as you can on both good and bad days.”
“I’m 27. I’ve been journaling since 16/17. I can honestly say it’s gotten me out some pretty dark places. All types a writing, expressing, pain, gratitude, to God, to my future self, it all helps. Writing and journaling are a lost art. I hope more people get in tune with themselves a little more and open up to writing and journaling. It’s a beautiful experience.”
“I started to write about my life at 75, mainly for my children, grandchildren and future generations. I have to say that getting all the hurt, upset, sorrows and jubilation has given me peace at last.”
You can follow Dr. Khan’s The Brain Project channel on YouTube for more neuroscience info.
When people refer to artistic or creative geniuses, we often praise them as rugged individualists who pursued a singular vision. But many times, that story is too simple. In reality, great artistic achievements are made through collective effort. This is especially true in film and television.
One artistic genius who changed the world by empowering his creative partners and giving them credit was Muppets creator Jim Henson.
Henson helped create some of the most popular TV shows in the ‘70s and ’80s, including Sesame Street, The Muppet Show, and Fraggle Rock, as well as iconic films such as The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth.
Henson shares the secret to his incredible success
Actor Alexander Polinsky recently shared rare insight into Henson’s creative process and how much he owed to his collaborators in a TikTok post that received over 650,000 views. Polinsky played Adam Powell on the TV show Charles in Charge from 1987 to 1990 and has done voice acting on shows such as Teen Titans, Teen Titans Go!, and the Ben 10 franchise.
Polinsky was seven years old in 1982, when Henson’s dark fantasy film The Dark Crystal was in theaters. His mother worked at a gallery hosting an exhibition on the film. Henson was there when young Polinsky was visiting, and his mother pushed him to ask the creator a question:
“She pushed me in front of him. I was the only kid, besides my two other friends, that were in the whole place that morning. And I said, ‘How did you make this stuff?’ And instead of saying ‘hot glue and learn to sew,’ he said, ‘First, gather a group of people around you that you love and that love you. And give them an idea that has enough empty space in it so that they can take it on and make it their own. And when you get it back, it’s more beautiful than you ever thought possible.’”
Polinsky ended his video by saying, “So make art with the people that you love.”
Henson loved to collaborate with people who thought differently
Steve Whitmire, a Muppet performer who eventually took over as Kermit (Henson’s signature character) after his death, told D23.com that Henson believed in the power of the ensemble. A great example was when The Muppet Show won an Emmy for Outstanding Comedy–Variety or Music Series in 1978.
“I remember Jim’s Emmy acceptance speech very well because he made eye contact with me,” Whitmire, who was newly hired at the time, said. “I was in the third row, and he was looking at me. He was kind of uncomfortable onstage as himself to some degree, but he said, ‘I just want to let everybody know that this is not about me, it’s about our group and our group dynamic.’”
“‘Appreciate each other for your differences and not for your similarities’ was a theme that went through all of his work,” the creator’s son, Brian Henson, added. “Clearly, this was a wonderful message that got picked up all around the world. Everyone got it, everywhere.”
Henson’s belief in providing space for his creative partners shows that he had an astonishing lack of ego—rare in the world of entertainment—and an incredible amount of faith in his collaborators. But it must have been a lot easier for him to keep his faith in those around him because their relationship was based on a power even greater than artistic integrity: love.
Head anywhere in the Southern United States, and you are likely to hear one distinct word: “y’all.” “Y’all,” which combines the words “you” and “all,” may be predominantly used in the South—but not for long.
Paul E. Reed, a linguist at the University of Alabama who studies Southern American English and Appalachian English, told NPR in 2025 that “it’s expanded much more outside of the South” thanks to Americans under 40. (Add it to the list of Gen Z slang.)
How “y’all” entered the English vernacular is a fascinating tale. Linguist Danny Hieber, PhD, explained the origin story of “y’all” to his TikTok followers—and it stems from a surprising language.
According to Hieber, present-day English doesn’t have a plural form of the word “you” like other languages. In Old English, there were three forms of “you”:
Thou (subject)
Thee (object)
Thine (possessive)
Hieber goes on to explain that “you” became singular thanks to French. In French, “you” translated to:
Tu (singular)
Vous (plural + polite)
“After the Norman Conquest of England in 1066, French had a huge influence on English,” he said. “So English speakers started borrowing that pattern into English and used ‘you’ to politely address one person.”
He added that over time, this became the default way to address a single person. Along those same lines, the word “be” also followed suit.
“It used to be that the verb ‘be’ was conjugated like this,” explained Hieber, with the plural use becoming “are.” “That singular verb got pulled along into the singular too, and now the conjugation of ‘be’ looks like this:”
I am / we are
Thou art / you are
He, she, it is / they are
However, it created a “gap,” and “English speakers have been trying to settle on a ‘you [plural]’ ever since,” said Hieber. Enter: y’all.
There are many theories as to how y’all infiltrated American English in the 1700s, per NPR. One theory states that it has British origins, where the words “ye” and “aw” were combined and used in the British Isles. From there, Scots-Irish immigrants brought it to Appalachia in the U.S.
The other theory is that it originated in West Africa, and when enslaved people were brought from there to the South, it began to spread. After the Great Migration, Black Americans brought the term north with them, expanding its use.
However, the term “you guys” is still commonly used in most Northern states. There are also many regional variations throughout the country, including “yinz” (used in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) and “youse” (used in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania).
Americans respond
Viewers had lots of opinions on Hieber’s video, including how different regions have termed the plural form of “you”—and their thoughts on y’all:
“Sorry… y’all is singular all y’all is plural.”
“In the upper Ohio Valley, we also say things like, ‘All yinz guys,’ a sort of amalgamation of Pittsburgh’s ‘yinz’ (we’re an hour away), and the Midwest ‘you guys.’”
“From CA but living in the south..I just cannot bring myself to say y’all..feels so unnatural.”
“Washington born and y’all made it into my vocab.”
