If I were the type of person who allowed himself to relax for even a second, I imagine that sitting outside in the sun with a beach read in one hand and a cool, refreshing drink in the other would be a wonderful way to spend a summer afternoon. And until this morning, I would have allowed myself to imagine that cool drink to be anything. Even a nice cold glass of bubble tea.

BUT NOT ANYMORE. NOT SINCE I'VE READ ABOUT A 14-YEAR-OLD WHO DRANK SO MANY BOBA PEARLS (tapioca pearls) THAT HER STOMACH WAS ALLEGEDLY FULL TO BURSTING WITH THEM! ALL STARCHY AND UNDIGESTED.

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