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Saying depression is a 'choice' only makes things worse. Allow Andy Richter to explain.

'Keep your quick fixes to yourself. This is the kind of bullsh*t that kills people.'

Depression is not a choice, and anyone who says otherwise is just plain wrong.

After reading a tweet that simply said, "Depression is a choice," actor, writer, and comedian Andy Richter was so angry that he "pulled over after school drop-off" to vent on Twitter about what it's like to live with depression and be constantly bombarded with unhelpful "advice" that so often amounts to little more than blame for those living with it.

"[Depression] varies in strength from a casual unresolvable suspicion that I will never find the joy that others do in a sunset, to the feeling that being dead might be a respite and a kindness," he tweeted, highlighting how difficult the hazy experience of living with depression can be to describe.

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When I found out I was pregnant in October 2018, I had planned to keep the news a secret from family for a little while — but my phone seemed to have other ideas.

Within just a few hours of finding out the news, I was being bombarded with ads for baby gear, baby clothes and diapers on Facebook, Instagram and pretty much any other site I visited — be it my phone or on my computer.

Good thing my family wasn't looking over my shoulder while I was on my phone or my secret would have been ruined.

I'm certainly not alone in feeling like online ads can read your mind.

When I started asking around, it seemed like everyone had their own similar story: Brian Kelleher told me that when he and his wife met, they started getting ads for wedding rings and bridal shops within just a few weeks. Tech blogger Snezhina Piskov told me that she started getting ads for pocket projectors after discussing them in Messenger with her colleagues. Meanwhile Lauren Foley, a writer, told me she started getting ads for Happy Socks after seeing one of their shops when she got off the bus one day.

When online advertising seems to know us this well, it begs the question: are our phones listening to us?

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