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Friends struggling with procrastination held a 'forcing party' and it's oh so brilliant

A little accompaniment and accountability can make all the difference.

Photo credit: Canva

Friends can help us when we're on the productivity struggle bus.

Some people have self-discipline and agency coming out their ears and rarely if ever procrastinate on anything. Others, not so much. Whether it's driven by habit, fear of success or failure, lack of motivation, ADHD, or something else that disrupts the flow from "I need to do this thing" to "I'm now doing this thing," procrastination is a challenge in many people's lives. You know what you need to do—why can't you just do it?

When you struggle to get things done, the cycle of self-loathing and shame that follows can make you feel worthless and alone. But some friends on X came up with a simply brilliant solution that not only solves the procrastination problem, but the feeling alone problem as well.

A user named Tyler wrote, "Sometimes you need a coach or therapist, and sometimes you just need someone to invade your life and force [you] to book the dr's appointment, finish the writing assignment, submit the job application, etc. Does this sort of person exist for hire?"

Lots of people resonated with that idea, but Tyler's friend Crystal responded, "Can we do it for each other?"

Tyler said Crystal would be good at this and said he was thinking of throwing "a force-on-another-to-do-stuff party."

And so they did.

The idea was to gather together a small group of friends who have things they need to get done and create a space where they could "force" one another to do them. Turns out, it was a brilliant plan. Crystal and Tyler both in the middle of their party, with Crystal saying it was "going well" and that they'd be doing more and Tyler sharing:

"So far:

- A passport has been filed for

- An inbox has been zero'd

- A personal website has been created

& more.

I recommend this format!"

People loved the idea, with many people asking if they could join. Tyler encouraged people to host their own. You don't have to have a bunch of friends to do it—it could literally just be two people. As long as whoever is there is on board with what it is, the number of people doesn't matter.

And if the idea of "forcing" rubs you the wrong way, what you call the gathering doesn't matter, either. One person suggested some alternative names, such as Git 'er Done Party, Just Do It Party, and Not So Bad Party. You could call it a Procrastinator Party or Motivation Madness. A similar idea has been called Admin Night, only that is specifically referred to as "not a party." But why can't it be both? Give the invite a tagline, even: Get stuff done, then have fun.

The concept of accompaniment to do things you don't want to or are struggling to do is an ADHD strategy known as "body doubling." Having someone in the same room with you doing something productive, even if it isn't the same thing you're doing, is often enough to get a person with ADHD to focus on the task they need to complete. The Forcing Party is a similar idea, perhaps with a bit more direct accountability built into it. It's a lot harder to put off doing something when you're at a party dedicated to doing exactly that thing.

If you're saying, "But why should I have to have a 'forcing party' just to get myself to do things that aren't even that difficult to do?" and feeling down on yourself for it, just stop for a sec. Humans aren't meant to do everything in isolation. We are social creatures who live in communities of people. Even those of us who like to be alone still benefit in various ways from the assistance and accompaniment of others, and if this is an area where being with your fellow humans helps you be the productive person you want to be, why question it?

Keep it simple. Contact a few friends and see if they have things they've been putting off doing that you could all do side-by-side one evening or weekend day. Call it whatever kind of party you want. See what they say. Chances are, they all have something they've been procrastinating on as well and would welcome the opportunity to get together and get it done.

Thanks for the inspiration, Tyler and Crystal!

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Watch a simple explanation of why it's so hard to improve policing in the U.S.

Reforming our police system seems like a no-brainer. So why does very little usually come of plans to do just that?

With more and more stories of police brutality making their way across the news, you might figure something has to happen eventually. I mean, on a very basic level, the police are meant to serve the public, so there should be some level of accountability ... right?

Yeah. About that:

That's right: Police in 14 states get their own bill of rights separate from the rest of us.

In Louisiana, they even get protection against discrimination despite being a job that people willfully enter into and not a class of people being unfairly punished for their natural-born traits.

But the worst part about it? None of this is new.

Back in 1965, President Lyndon B. Johnson launched a commission for justice reform that specifically addressed policing in black communities.

There was even a plan in place to weed out cops who were racist or violent. And yet, here we are, 50 years later. Cops who are disciplined for behavior are still formally protected, to the point where they're guaranteed good recommendations at other police departments even after they've been fired for — you guessed it! — racism and violence.

None of this is particularly surprising either, however, when you consider that organized policing at many times throughout history has been used to make sure that slaves, laborers, and the poor all "knew their place." As formal police departments replaced constables, sheriffs, and local militias in the mid-to-late 1800s, their jobs were less focused on merely keeping the peace and reacting to incidents and more on stopping people before they even had a chance to disrupt the proper "order" of things, whatever that might mean.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Police arrest a civil rights protester in Newark, N.J., in 1967. Photo by Evans/Getty Images.

The craziest part about all of these police powers and protections? The police don't necessarily need them.

2015 was the safest year for police in record history. American crime rates are also at a 25-year low. And on the incredibly rare occasion that an offending officer is actually brought before a grand jury? There's still just a slim chance they'll be indicted for a formal trial, thanks in part to their cozy relationships with the district attorney's office.

The streets are generally safer today, and individual officers are pretty much immune to all potential consequences. Yet police departments have spent billions of dollars on armor, guns, and other military equipment — and are still pushing for more. SWAT units in particular have quadrupled in the same period that crime has gone down. That might sound like a correlation worth considering, but statistics from the ACLU suggest that SWAT aren't particularly effective. (Some of them also claim to be immune to public records laws, too.)

When you treat people like they live in a war zone, it makes them feel like they live in a war zone and not a community. That makes things worse for everyone. Photo by Michael B. Thomas/AFP/Getty Images.

As John Oliver once said: "The phrase isn't 'It's just a few bad apples; don't worry about it.' The phrase is 'A few bad apples spoil the barrel.'"

There's a cultural impulse in the states to always clarify that most individual officers are well-intentioned, upstanding citizens. That may be true. But that also enables a system that allows corrupt and abusive behaviors to continue. And the fact that we're so afraid to outright criticize the enforcers of the state says a lot about the troubling power dynamics at play.

Fortunately, there are places like Denver, Colorado; like Dallas, Texas; and like Washington state, where law enforcement officers are taking it upon themselves to clean up their acts and make their communities stronger and safer, together.

Let's just hope that other police departments follow suit.

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Michael Moore says only sending water to Flint won't work. Here are 3 things to do also.

Bottled water is a Band-Aid. Flint is hemorrhaging — it's going to take more.

Why wouldn't Michael Moore want us sending water to Flint, Michigan?

The documentary-maker wrote an open letter imploring people to think deeper than just the surface-level solution of sending bottled water when it comes to helping the city, which is in the middle of a public water crisis.

The short story of what happened in Flint in case you don't know: An emergency manager appointed by the governor chose to switch Flint's water source from Lake Huron to the Flint River. They didn't treat the water correctly, which meant just about everyone was exposed to lead in their drinking water for over a year, and officials sat on this information until it was truly a health crisis of epic proportions.

The people of Flint used to get their water from clean, delicious Lake Huron. Then it changed to Flint River's polluted water. Image by U.S. Army Corps of Engineers/Wikimedia Commons.

“I was hysterical. I cried when they gave me my first lead report," LeeAnne Walters, whose children all tested positive for lead poisoning after the Flint River switchover, told the Detroit Free Press about the heart-wrenching moment she learned they'd been affected.

"I pushed them to drink water — 'Put down that juice, go get some water.' [Now] lead is in our blood," Melissa Mays, another Flint mom, also told the Free Press, expressing her regret at having her teen boys drink the water. She says now she will be plagued with worries and doubts whenever something goes wrong with them in the future, not knowing if it's from the lead or not.


5-year-old Morgan Walker tears up during a finger prick for a lead screening provided as a free service for Flint's young children in January 2016 following the water crisis. Photo by Brett Carlsen/Getty Images.

Essentially, the Flint water crisis is a complex, gargantuan-level disaster that will take various phases and layers of work to address. The first phase of response has been to establish that the poisoning has occurred, ring the alarm loud and clear for the whole country, and to immediately get some clean water to the citizens. That's a necessary short-term reaction and definitely something that was needed.

And people rushed to fill that need.

Like when Cher got Icelandic Glacial to partner with her to donate trucks full of water:

And many other celebrities and regular citizens followed suit.

But what comes next? And does Moore really want us to stop sending water to residents in need?

The city's immediate need for bottled water is far from over, but the larger point he's trying to make is right on. We can only solve the problem if we focus on more than just fixing one symptom of it. Here's how we can do that.

A kind of second phase of recovery requires moving on to doing things to fix Flint's water systems for the medium- and long-terms and to rectify the faulty system that allowed this lead poisoning to occur in the first place. It'd be foolish to let the decision-makers responsible for such bad oversight just promise they'll have really good oversight this time, they swear, in order to fix the mess.

Here are three things all Americans should be doing right now (no matter your political affiliation) in order to help Flint move forward for the long term:

1. Call for Gov. Rick Snyder's resignation.

Snyder speaks to the media about the Flint water crisis on Jan. 27, 2016. Photo by Brett Carlsen/Getty Images.

This isn't about partisan politics; it's just a good idea for how to move on from this crisis. A neutral party is needed in Michigan to assess the situation clearly, not from the vantage point of someone who has a clear reason to minimize his role in the disaster. In his open letter, Moore explains why this is so important:

"Whether it’s via resignation, recall or prosecution, this must happen now because he is still refusing to take the aggressive and immediate action needed. His office, as recently as this past Thursday, was claiming the EPA had no legal authority to tell him what to do."

You can sign the petition here.

2. Insist the state of Michigan be held financially responsible for its role in Flint's poisoning.

Snyder is trying to have Flint declared a federal disaster zone, which will likely at some point be appropriate and necessary. But the significance of this is that it will take the state off the hook for having to cough up the funds it should be providing to clean the mess it pretty much willfully made.

Here's the financial breakdown from Moore:

"This year the state treasury posted nearly a $600 million surplus. There is also another $600 million in the state’s 'rainy day fund.' That’s $1.2 billion – just about what Flint’s congressman, Dan Kildee, estimates it will cost to replace the water infrastructure and care for the thousands of poisoned children throughout their growing years."

Fred the handyman explains a new water filter to a resident of Shiloh Commons, a low-income housing area in Flint. Citizens have been given water testing jugs, filters, and clean water by the National Guard. Photo by Sarah Rice/Getty Images.

Once the state pays its share of the clean up, the federal funds should be a next step, but the state's responsibility for the crisis should not be ignored or overlooked.

Remember the mom beating herself up for having her sons drink the tap water? Chances are she and everyone like her are going to need a lot of services to help their children achieve the best cognitive abilities possible. It's gonna require funding — every penny of assistance Flint can get will be needed — and that includes state money.

How do you insist on this? Contact your local paper and write a letter to your editor or just send lots of tweets (to news sources and elected officials), no matter where you live.

3. As soon as the state has earmarked their share of payment for Flint, the recovery operations need to be placed into the hands of the federal government. STAT.

National Guard members distribute free water to Flint citizens on Jan. 23, 2016. Photo by Brett Carlsen/Getty Images.

Moore has pointed out that the water replacement efforts must be bigger in scope than just providing bottled water. He's right. The federal government can send in help on a level the state just can't. Here's what he proposes:

"The State government cannot be trusted to get this right. So, instead of declaring a federal disaster zone, President Obama must declare the same version of martial law that Governor Snyder declared over the cities of Flint and Detroit. He must step in and appoint a federal emergency manager in the state capitol to direct the resources of both the state and federal government in saving Flint. This means immediately sending in FEMA in full force. It means sending in the CDC to determine the true extent of not just the lead poisoning in the water, but also the latest outbreak that has been discovered in Flint – a tenfold increase in the number of Flint people who’ve contracted Legionnaires Disease. There have now been 87 cases since the switch to the Flint River water, and ten people have died. The local hospital has also noted sharp increases in a half-dozen other toxins found in people’s bodies. We need the CDC. The EPA must take over the testing of the water, and the Army Corps of Engineers must be sent in to begin replacing the underground pipes. Like the levees in New Orleans, this will be a massive undertaking. If it is turned over to for-profit businesses, it will take a decade and cost billions. This needs to happen right now and Obama must be in charge."

Again, you can call for this by writing letters to the editor, signing Moore's petition, and calling your elected officials and asking them to take a stand together for Flint on your (their constituent's) behalf.

These are the things we can all do to help the people of Flint beyond just sending bottled water.

It's not that bottled water isn't appreciated. It is. It's just that it only goes so far for so long. And bottled water treats the symptom, not the problem. At this point, Flint needs people to roll up their sleeves and help get them back on track by holding the people who caused the problem in the first place accountable.

Matt Hopper comforts 5-year-old Nyla Hopper after she has blood taken for a free lead testing. Photo by Brett Carlsen/Getty Images.

The people of Flint need to know that even though their state failed them, America has not forsaken them — or the possibility for their futures. Flint can rise again, in time, with our help.

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