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People hearing about 'shoe theory' for the first time worry they'll be dumped on Christmas

Many are concerned this common Christmas gift will spell relationship disaster, thanks to an old wive's tale going viral.

shoe theory, shoe theory tiktok, what is shoe theory
Canva, @barbeeherrinfam/TikTok

The viral 'shoe theory' has people second guessing their Christmas gifts.

Of course we’re leaving some things as a surprise, but one thing my husband and I each got for each other this year happened to be a pair of shoes. What can we say, we saw a sale at Macy’s and couldn’t say no—him to a pair of tan Nike’s that will go with everything, and me to a bedazzled pair of Betsy Johnson boots that will go with exactly nothing, but are just so beautiful.

But had we known of the “shoe theory” currently taking over the internet, we might have chosen otherwise if we wanted our marriage to last, apparently.

Countless folks can be found in the #Shoetheory section of TikTok, sharing their own fears (and horror stories around this trending topic.


As the superstition goes: if you give a significant other a pair of shoes, they will “eventually walk out on you,” leading to an inevitable breakup.

As Angela Chan, aka @angela.chaan, explains it, this theory stems from Chinese culture, since the word for “shoe” in Mandarin sounds similar to “bad luck” or “evil.”

While this old wive’s tale might have been around for a long time, many people are only just now hearing it…after having already bought a pair (or two) for their beau.

@bu99zie Nope. #fyp #christmas #bf #shoetheory ♬ original sound - <3

Needless to say, people are concerned.

@hannahgtown

Merry Christmas, we had a good run x

♬ original sound - angela chan
@kate61143 we’ve been through long distance and praying THE SHOE THEORY isnt the thing that breaks us up #shoetheory #fyp #fypシ゚viral ♬ original sound - <3

And to make matters worse, many do have anecdotes of post-shoe breakups, indicating there might be something to the theory after all.

“I left my ex a week after he gifted me a show for my Birthday.. He even took the shoes back,” one person shared.

In a different TikTok, a woman wrote “I didn’t even get to give them to him” in the caption as she’s seen throwing a pair of sneakers in frustration.

Another said, “”Every boyfriend I’ve had I bought them shoes, and every single one of them has walked straight out my life.”
@fayemart Have I lost it or is this shoe theory thing the real deal?! #shoetheory #boyfriend #christmaspresents #shoetheoryexplained #viral #trending #fyp ♬ original sound - faye


Even former skeptic @ok.kati.2 admitted that she thought the theory was “dumb” at first, but then had a “lightbulb moment” when she realized “I had gifted an ex of mine a pair of shoes … and they definitely walked out of my life.”

This all has spooked shoppers second guessing their gift choices. But for many, it’s too late.

“I don’t know what to do about these shoes now. I bought the shoes for him a while ago, so I can’t return them now,”@jessicageary1 lamented. “Now, do I need to burn the shoes I got my boyfriend for Christmas? They were expensive though. What do I do?”

But fret not, there is a possible solution: have your SO pay you a dollar for the shoes.

@izzle.b explains in their comment to @angela.chaan’s shoe theory video”

“My mom told me this when my bf first gifted me shoes lol I had to technically ‘buy’ the shoes off my bf for $1 and that’s what we’ve been doing since.”

Smart plan. And the least expensive investment ever!

@brookejamesxx

And if your not then why u buying him shoes anyways💀 if he leaves hes simply✨not the one for you✨

♬ original sound - speakerbleed225

If a relationship ends, odds are there’s more to its demise than an ill-fated gift. But still, this theory is such an interesting example of the deep connection humans have with symbols. So many people feel as though the universe is constantly communicating through signs.

If you do fall into this camp, it can be easy to see how offering up shoes—those vehicles in which we roam and wander the world—might be an intuitive invitation to our partners to go on their own path.

But regardless of whether you believe in omens or not, it feels safe to say that all of us want a relationship that can withstand something as innocuous as shoes.

All I can say is: I hope my Betsy Johnson boots aren’t made for walking.

Sandra visiting E’s family in Georgia (2023)

True
Levi Strauss Foundation

Sandra McAnany isn’t one to sit on the sidelines. A 58-year-old grandmother from Wisconsin, McAnany spends her days teaching soft skills classes to adults and spending time with her family. Outside the classroom, however, she’s taken on a role that’s helping people in a big way: serving as a humanitarian parole sponsor and personally taking on the financial responsibility of supporting families fleeing from persecution, violence, and instability.

Since 2023, McAnany has welcomed 17 migrants—11 adults and six children through the CHNV humanitarian parole program, which allows individuals and families from Cuba, Haiti, Nicaragua and Venezuela to live and work temporarily in the United States with the support of an approved sponsor.


“Everyone has their own views and perspectives, but every person I sponsored is thriving and doing well here,” McAnany said.

McAnany didn’t know any of the parolees before sponsoring them, but she had a commitment to helping families from Venezuela specifically, hoping to reunite them with their families who were already living in the United States. After “praying a lot along the way” and communicating with the applicants through WhatsApp, she decided to apply as a sponsor and help them settle into the United States.

“I have a bedroom and a bathroom in my basement,” McAnany says. “My door is open and will always be open for any of the people I sponsored, if they ever have a need for housing.”

Sandra’s granddaughter, E’s daughter, and another friend at an indoor park (July 2025)

At the time, McAnany decided to volunteer as a sponsor to make friends and help other people through hardship. Now, her mission has grown: Seeing how humanitarian parole programs have changed her parole beneficiaries’ lives—as well as her own—for the better.

Humanitarian parole: A long history

Humanitarian parole programs are nothing new. Since 1952, both Democratic and Republican administrations have used humanitarian parole to provide a safer, lawful pathway for noncitizens to enter and live temporarily in the United States. In recent years, through different programs, people from Afghanistan, Ukraine, Cuba, Haiti, and other countries have been able to come to the U.S. to escape urgent crises in their own countries, such as political instability or war.

Coming to the United States through humanitarian parole is no easy feat. The process has its own strict criteria and involves extensive applications and vetting for both beneficiaries and their sponsors. Parolees don’t need to qualify for any other immigration benefit like asylum, but they need to meet the standard for humanitarian parole and successfully pass vetting requirements.

According to Refugees International, 532,000 people have been granted parole through the CHNV program.

A life-changing experience

From the moment she met her first parole beneficiaries at the airport—two families —McAnany already knew it would be a life-changing experience. “It immediately felt like family, like we were lifelong friends,” she said. But she could also sense that it was a culture shock for the parolees. On the way home from the airport, McAnany pulled into a nearby McDonald's and encouraged them to order dinner. Hearing the word “Big Mac,” the families smiled in recognition.

Despite the culture shock, McAnany’s parole beneficiaries had to adapt quickly to life in the United States. Once they were settled, McAnany worked “nonstop” to help the families acclimate to their new lives, answering questions about school and vaccinations while also helping them create resumes, search for jobs, and find English classes online.

It was through this process that McAnany realized just how resilient people could be, and was amazed “not only how hard it was for individuals to leave their loved ones behind, but the amount of work they did to come to the country and remain here.” McAnany also realized how fortunate she was to have her own family living nearby. “I can’t imagine any one of us leaving a country and being apart for an unknown length of time,” she said.

Eventually, and as circumstances changed—one of the parolees found a new job in another city, for example, and was able to move out. But no matter the length of time they spent with each other, McAnany says that with every parolee they formed a bond built for life. One woman, who she refers to as ‘E,’ has even become “like an adopted daughter.” McAnany has traveled to Georgia, where E now lives, three times to visit her.

Uncertain ground: What’s next for humanitarian parole programs

Despite being a critical part of immigration policy in the United States for the last 73 years, humanitarian parole programs are under threat. Immigrant justice nonprofits Justice Action Center and Human Rights First are currently suing the federal government to protect humanitarian parole programs and allow parole beneficiaries to remain in the country for the duration of their parole. McAnany is a plaintiff in the lawsuit.

One of the ladies Sandra sponsored from Venezuela and her partner during Sandra’s first visit to meet her (December 2023)

Participating in the lawsuit has only further bolstered McAnany’s belief in and support for humanitarian parole programs. She hopes the lawsuit will be successful, she says, so that parole beneficiaries and their families can finally have some stability.

“We don’t know what the future is,” she says, “but I want to be optimistic and hopeful that every person I sponsored will be able to stay here safely in the U.S. and continue to thrive.”

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.


A woman talking to people she just met.

It’s essential to make a great first impression with someone, whether it's a job interview, buying someone a drink at a bar, or serving someone a meal at a restaurant. The problem is that people form a concrete judgment of someone in just seven seconds, which can be incredibly hard to shake.

“Human beings are built to size each other up quickly,” Psychology Today says. "These first impressions are influenced by a number of factors, such as facial shape, vocal inflection, attractiveness, and general emotional state. People tend to get attached to their initial impressions of others and find it very difficult to change their opinion, even when presented with lots of evidence to the contrary.”


While it can feel impossible to combat such a snap judgment, Sally Hogshead says that when we interact with people for the first time, we should only have one question on our minds: “How can I add value to this person?” Hogshead is a New York Times bestselling author, National Speakers Association Hall of Fame speaker, chief executive officer of How to Fascinate (Fascinate, Inc.), and a former advertising executive.

introduction, first imrpession, business card, networking event, handshake, eye contact A man handing a woman his business card at an event.via Canva/Photos

Ask yourself: How can I add value to this person?

It makes sense. When someone meets you for the first time, they don’t know anything about you. The other person is asking themselves the big WIIFM: What’s in it for me? It feels a little negative to suggest that everyone is out for themselves, but we only have so much time and effort to give to others. What can you bring to the table?

“You want your listener to come away from the conversation feeling good about their investment of time and energy,” Hogshead writes for Inc. “The key here is to add value to every interaction, so that you’re not just occupying conversational space.” Hogshead adds that we don’t have a lot of time to gain the other person's attention, so it’s best to start strong. “Here’s the problem with that approach: Today, the average attention span is about nine seconds. Every time you introduce yourself, you have about nine seconds to engage your listener. When it comes to first impressions, a weak start leads to a poor impression.”

drinks, attraction, first impression, smiling woman, charming man, bar A man and woman sharing a drink at a bar.via Canva/Photos

If you’re not adding value, you’re taking up space

Value will vary depending on the situation and your desired social outcome. When approaching someone for a drink, you can add value by boosting their self-esteem with a compliment. “I think you have really lovely eyes,” or “Is that an old-fashioned you’re drinking? You’ve got great taste, they make good ones here.”

At a networking event, you can introduce yourself and discuss a recent development in the industry. “Hey, I’m Lisa. Have you heard about how Acme Paper Company is using AI to learn the best trees to cut?” Or, “Hey, it’s Malcom, is your company having trouble figuring out which trees to cut? I’ve found a cool new way to save you time and labor costs.”

You can also add value to any person by allowing them to share their thoughts and experiences. When you show genuine interest in someone and let them talk about themselves, they will almost always find you likable. Research has found that asking the first question in a conversation, followed by two follow-ups, dramatically increases your likability.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

It can be disheartening to realize that people often make snap judgments about others that are difficult to overcome, but it’s great to know that, by focusing on how you can benefit another person, you can pull down that wall and give yourself a second chance to make a first impression. Everyone has something valuable to bring to the table, whether you’re inexperienced and can make your superiors feel great by asking them questions or by being able to share your experiences with others to make their lives better. Just know that everyone is open to meeting those who can make their lives better, and you can often be that person.

Albert Einstein writing on a blackboard.

Can you quickly and easily tell how intelligent someone is? There are some obvious ways to determine if someone is highly intelligent, like when you see them work out a complex trigonometry problem on a blackboard or when they can easily explain the science behind mRNA vaccines or dark matter.

But there are also those we meet at social gatherings who immediately make us think they are very smart. Usually, it isn’t because they are making a long-winded speech about the fall of the Roman Empire or explaining quarks. We know they are intelligent because of the way they interact with people and ideas.


A Redditor named SomethingAbout2020 asked people on the AskReddit forum to share the “non-obvious signs” that people are intelligent. Many of their responses centered on highly intelligent people being open-minded, curious, and not wasting their time arguing with others.

Brilliant people are confident in what they know, consider other people’s opinions, and readily admit when they don’t know the answer.


What are 15 'non-obvious' signs that someone is really smart?

1. They know what they don't know

"They acknowledge areas where they lack knowledge."

"'Never pretend to know something when you don't' is something I always teach. It covers lying and ignorance."

2. They consider other people's ideas

"They’ll listen to the other's facts and points and take them into account when giving an objection."

"One of the best developers at my last job and manager of a project I was at is an extremely intelligent person. ... One thing I noticed is how he would take everyone's opinion into account. He would take my opinions into consideration even if I'm not a smarter person or know less about development."

3. They make you feel smart

"Talking to a dumb person will make you feel smart. Talking to a smart person will make you feel dumb. Talking to a very smart person will make you feel smart."

4. They see patterns

"Part of the reason smart people throughout history are well-known is because they discovered something new and figured out how to maximize its potential. Darwin was a guy who discovered a bunch of islands with slightly different animals. He then collected and analyzed that data to come up with the theory of evolution, which was largely correct. Einstein’s theory of relativity was based off of his observation that physics acted on everything equally. He figured out that “exceptions” were because of the way high-speed objects interact with the universe’s speed limit (the speed of light). He recognized these exceptions by gathering them and recognizing the pattern between them all, then created his theory of relativity based on that."


intelligence, painter, paint brush, mural artists, curiosity A painter making a mural. via Canva/Photos

5. They consider multiple intelligences

"They realize not everyone is smart the same way. Your 'stupid hick neighbor' might have dropped out of school in 8th grade, but he can drive your car once and tell you exactly what's wrong, then fix it. That a**hole in school that had no empathy for anyone and showed no emotion made that sci-fi sh*t you thought would never be real. Yeah, she's dingy and her worldview is tiny, but she's the best teacher you've ever met and inspires tons of kids to go on and do great things with themselves. There's no one-size-fits-all answer here, really."

People who are super bright are probably familiar with Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences. The theory suggests that people have more than just one type of just one type of intelligence, like being good at mathematics. Gardener says there are several, including musical, spatial, linguistic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and kinesthetic intelligence. This theory allows people to appreciate different forms of intelligence that may not be of the academic variety.

6. They choose their battles

"When another person is not able to process something and, therefore, sticks with his opinion, after a few tries, the smart person just gives up. There is no use in trying to make someone understand something while they already have an uneducated opinion."



7. They speak to their audience

"They know how to explain concepts on just about any level, tailoring that level to their intended audience, and without coming across as condescending in any way."

"I heard a saying that went 'you have to be an expert to explain it simply.'"

8. They're confident in their intelligence

"Not constantly bragging about their intelligence. If they truly are smart, people can figure that out pretty quickly without them doing anything to show it."

"You generally only brag about things you're insecure about because you seek validation. If you are very comfortable with your intelligence, then you may not care if someone misinterprets you and makes you look dumb or something. You have nothing to prove. That's not just for intelligence but for anything."

9. They're funny

"I think the smart people are even more funny than stupid people because smart people understand the complexity behind humor and can make their jokes reflect that."

Scientific studies show that funny people, especially those with a dark sense of humor, are more intelligent than their not-so-funny peers. Researchers argue that it takes cognitive and emotional ability to make people laugh, and analysis shows that funny people have higher verbal and non-verbal intelligence.

laugh, humor, sense of humor, jokes, men in suits, moment of levity, A man laughing at his friend's joke.via Canva/Photos

10. They mind their own business

"This is a big one. They keep to themselves and deal with their own drama."

11. They aren't necessarily great students

"Believe it or not 'average' or 'above average' students are often smarter than those with straight A’s on the report cards. They do enough to pass well and get what they want but don’t let the academic system control them. Life isn’t all about booksmarts. This shows they are independent thinkers and don’t get wrapped up in designed systems. Not all, but many. Many kids who are forced to always be exceptional in school can end up the worst off and can develop deeper issues."

12. They are good listeners

"They actually listen to who they are talking to as opposed to waiting for their turn to talk."

13. Curiosity

"It really does seem to be one of the single greatest differentiators between average and smart."

A meta-analysis of over 50,000 students from around 200 separate studies found that students who are curious do better in their school work over those who are not. Why is curiosity so important when it comes to IQ? “Curiosity is basically a hunger for exploration. If you’re intellectually curious, you’ll go home, you’ll read the books," Dr Sophie von Stumm, the study’s first author, said. "If you’re perceptually curious, you might go traveling to foreign countries and try different foods.”

14. Comfortable in silence

"Being comfortable enough to allow a moment of complete silence while you think when the natural instinct of most is to immediately start replying tells me that you are, at the very least, mindful of what you want to say."

15. Unattached to their opinions

"Most of the smart people I know are not pushy with their opinions; by contrast, most of the opinionated people I know are flaming morons. I don't know if there's a correlation there, but my anecdotal experience has always been that the more eager someone is to state their opinion, the less that opinion is probably worth."

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

Culture

A hundred years ago, everyone wore hats. In 1960, they suddenly stopped. Here's why.

Old footage from the '50s shows men, women, and children wearing hats everywhere they go.

When did everyone stop wearing hats?

It was everywhere. Men, women, and even children did it every time they left the house. If you see old newsreel footage of men in the office or on commuter trains from the advent of the motion picture camera to the early ‘60s, nearly everyone is wearing a hat. Hats were just as common for women in that era. For a woman to go out without a hat in the first half of the 20th century was akin to going out without clothes.

The funny thing is that everyone’s headgear is so similar in the old-timey footage that it makes previous generations look like big-time conformists. Then, in the early ‘60s, everything changed, and men and women started to go out in public with their hair exposed. Why did such a big aspect of fashion seem to change overnight?


Warmbru Curiosity investigated the question recently in a popular YouTube video. Warmbru’s channel is a lighthearted look at some of the more unusual people and events from our history and how they have influenced the world in which we live.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Why did people stop wearing hats?

Warmbru says fashion changed dramatically after World War II, when people in developed countries began to care less about expressing their social status. “This was especially true among the younger generation the rise of youth culture in the 1950s and 1960s emphasized rebellion against traditional norms, including formal dress codes,” the YouTuber says.

Mad Men, Don Draper, Jon Hamm, hats, mens fashion, men's hats, 1950s Don Draper from AMC's "Mad Men" Image via "Mad Men" AMC

Another big reason for the change in fashion was technology. Cars became the preferred mode of transportation for many after World War II and indoor environments became more hospitable. “People spent far less time exposed to the elements as people increasingly moved to urban areas and started using cars,” Warmbru says. “The practicality of wearing hats diminishes. Hats can be cumbersome in cars and on public transport, improvements in heating and air conditioning reduce the need for hats to provide warmth.”

Warmbru adds that President John F. Kennedy, elected in 1960, rarely wore a hat and his decision to go bareheaded became associated with modernity. Further, in 1963, the mop-topped Beatles proudly flaunted their hatless heads as they shook them while singing, “Wooooo.” Hat-wearing among women began to decline around the same time as the restrictive and complex headgear clashed with the burgeoning women’s liberation movement.

Kennedy, John F. Kennedy, Jackie Kennedy, hats, men, men's fashion, 1960's, 1950's John F. Kennedy with his family Image via Wikicommons

The decline in hat purchases meant that manufacturers closed and the headgear became harder to come by. This reduced availability further contributed to the decline in hat-wearing. As fewer people wore hats, there became a greater demand for high-quality hair products and services. “Why spend a fortune at the hairdressers or the barbers just to cover the end result with a hat?” Warmbru asks.

Ultimately, there were many reasons why people stopped wearing hats. It appears that it was a combination of technology, influential people such as Kennedy and The Beatles, and the overwhelming mood of change that swept most of the Western world in the 1960s. But if one thing is true about fashion, it goes in cycles. So, it seems that hats may be ready for their big comeback.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

Image via Canva/RgStudio

Gen Xer shares the dead giveaway texting habit that proved he was Gen X.

Every generation has different texting habits. For example, Boomers insist on using ellipses when they text, according to a Harvard linguist.

And Gen X has its own texting style, too. In the Reddit forum r/GenX, one man shared a funny interaction he had with one of his Millennial students that "gave away" his Gen X identity.


"Grammar is my 'tell.' Who knew?" he wrote, before sharing a text exchange he had with one of his students from the younger generation. The thread read:

texting, texts, texting style, gen x, gen xers Text Phone GIF by Life at Lower Giphy

Millennial: "Are you gen x?"

Gen X: "Some day, I'll stop asking questions I'm afraid to know the answers to, but today is not that day. Why? And yes, Gen X."

Millennial: "You text not like a millennial and I realized you use punctuation but no emojis and no ellipses or 'lols' in your communication."

gen x, gen x texting, texting styles, texting habits, gen x texting Gen Xer shares text convo with Millennial.Image via Reddit/Kestrel_Iolani

The lighthearted conversation tickled the Gen Xer. "NOTE: This is not a complaint about 'kids these days.' And I know full well that language changes over time. I'm an English major by training, a tech writer by day, and a 'fun' writer on nights and weekends," he explained. "All that said, I had this text exchange with one of my actors today and promptly crumbled into dust. Be fore-warned, my compatriots! Grammar and punctuation will pierce our clever disguises. LOL."

Many Gen Xers resonated with the text exchange. "I was late to the game with texting by several years, and to this day cannot compose nor send a text unless it's written the exact same way that I would write to anybody through any other media (that is to say, proper spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc.). I've caught a ton of shit for it since I don't use textspeak in any form. Not my problem," one wrote. "I’ve switched to one space after a period."

Other Gen Xers shared more about the use of "lol." "Lol fellow kids," one commented. Another added, "I would just like to point out that Gen X had a hand in inventing 'lol'. And emojis. You're welcome. lol." Another quipped, "We called them emoticons."

fellow kids, fellow kids gif, slang, gen x slang, cool gif steve buscemi youth GIF Giphy

Fellow Gen Xers also discussed their emoji use. "I use tons of emojis and ellipses, as well as punctuation. But I hate 'lol'. Dunno why, I just can't bring myself to use it," one Gen Xer commented. Another Gen Xer noted, "I thought Gen X was known for using ellipses, and it annoys younger people. I like them. But I like M dashes better. ... Just don't write like Thomas Chatterton..."

The conversation about Gen X texting habits also led to an aside on Gen X GIF use. "On this topic: would anyone care to comment on GIF usage? If anything, I am a heavy GIF user only because it allows me to convey a response in such a way that it potentially could end the conversation. I am Gen X because I’m really not interested in texting a lot," one explained. Another added, "My GenX friend group mostly communicates in Discord via GIFs and movie quotes. It's our own generational lexicon. Shaka, when the walls fell."

One Gen Xer concluded: "And we know you aren't a boomer because you DON'T WRITE IN ALL CAPS."

Community

Gen Xers spill hair care secrets on how they achieved perfectly feathered perms in the 80s

"The girls kept cans of Aqua Net in their lockers and every time the bell would ring they’d rush to re-apply."

Images via Reddit/DefinitionPast3694, ClickAmericana

Gen Xers share how they acheived their voluminous hair in the 1980s.

If there is one thing Gen X will go down in history for, it's their *amazing* hairstyles. From feathered perms to voluminous blowouts, hairstyles from the 1980s remains iconic to this day. And those styles may be making a comeback.

Over on Reddit, Gen Xers are sharing all of their hair care secrets from back in the day. From styling secrets to products, they are spilling it all after a member of a younger generation posed the question: "Hey Gen X! How did you guys get your hair to look like this back in the 80’s?"


The question was posed with a few follow-ups for Gen Xers. "I really want to get my hair styled and cut like this but I don’t know how I can. I’m guessing you guys got a feathered haircut and a perm and brushed it out and teased it? Do tell!"

@jenxwrites

80s Hair. Aqua Net made a lot of money back in the day. #80s #80shair #genx #genxkid #80sstyle #1980s

Their biggest secret? Aqua Net hairspray. "Aqua Net White," one commented. Another added, "Aquanet purple may she rest in peace. So had my hair feathered never permed. I would take my bangs and curl them up reg curling iron and spray the heck out of it while cooking. Release and brush. When it looks perfect more hairspray to keep it from moving even in a hurricane."

Another Gen Xer shared their memory of Aqua Net. "The girls kept cans of Aqua Net in their lockers and every time the bell would ring they’d rush to re-apply, the halls of my middle school smelled like a beauty parlor," they wrote.

Another Gen Xer shared that her go-to was Finesse. "God I remember those days. I got in and out of the locker room as fast as possible because I was always choking to death on fumes. I was lucky, I had naturally curly hair with a lot of volume. I used Finesse conditioner and brushed my hair with my head upside down until it fluffed out too much, then would brush it back with my head rightside up to shape it. I hated hairspray because it made my hair crunchy and gross to touch. My boyfriend once remarked on it, 'Hey, I love your hair b/c I can touch it and not break my fingers!' LOL."

Another agreed, commenting, "Sometimes you need a little Finesse, sometimes you need a LOT!!" A fellow Gen Xer shared, "I LOVED Finesse! It smelled SO good."

80s, 80s hair, 80s hairstyles, 1980s, 1980s hair Beauty Looking GIF Giphy

Another popular product brand was Paul Mitchell. "Rich town girls had Paul Mitchell," one Gen Xer commented. "I remember in middle school that we all wanted Paul Mitchell because the cool girls used that."

Other Gen Xers preferred Rave. "Rave in the pump bottle kept mine extra-crispy," one Gen Xer wrote. Another quipped, "Yes, that was my brand of choice in 1980 something. You spray it underneath and kinda scrunch it up with your hands. My hair is wavy so it wasn't too hard for me. Mousse products also helped thicken and expand it. The Rave shellacked it and it stayed as high as Long Island. These pics could easily have been my friends, lol. Pair with crazy prints and acid wash jeans and some giant dangle earrings!"

1980s, 80s hair, 80s hairstyles, big hair, perm 80S Hair Flip GIF Giphy

Besides products, Gen Xers revealed the secrets to their styling, which highlighted the use of perms. "Step 1- perm. Step 2- mousse, lots of it. Don't be shy. Step 3- blow dry, scrunching curls. Step 4- curling iron, set on HELL, for the top. Step 5- hair combs to pull the sides back. Step 6- hair spray the side hair that's pulled back, the styleable type spray. Step 7- use pick to fluff top, and sides. Step 8- rat sides with pick. Step 9- apply bullet proof hair spray to set in concrete," one wrote.

Another spilled, "A curling iron on the top, a hair pick (not a brush) to fluff it out, and a lot of hairspray at all stages. If you get a perm, don't do the top, depending on your hair texture. The top needs to be shorter, and the curls go horizontally (not down - straight across the top of your head), everything goes backwards except for your bangs, which get curled under. Spray spray spray, then use the pick to fluff. Then more spraying. Hell, we used to watch smoke rise from our heads as we sprayed our hair while the curling iron was still in it. Don't recommend. For extra authenticity, do all of this while smoking a Marlboro light. Don't recommend that, either, if only for the fire hazard. I have an aversion to hair tools now to the point where I rarely even blow dry my hair anymore."

80s, 1980s hair, hairspray, 80s hairspray, 1980s hairspray 1980s tv GIF by absurdnoise Giphy

The blowout technique was also key. "Flip your head upside down and max heat blow dry while scrunching curls with mousse. More volume that way!" one shared.

One Gen Xer summarized the glory of 80s hair perfectly: "The higher the hair, the closer to God."