At 8 years old, her parents told her to hide who she was. Here's why she didn't listen.

    
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If you met Rachel Crandall-Crocker today, it would be hard to believe there was a time when this outspoken transgender activist was afraid to raise her voice.

But in 1966, eight-year-old Rachel was terrified to speak her truth. That’s because, even at a young age, Rachel understood that coming out as transgender could be dangerous.

Back then, society was even more hostile towards trans people, and there were very few (if any) resources for the transgender community — especially in Michigan, where Rachel grew up.

At first, Rachel was hopeful that her parents might accept her. But their response was devastating.

“Their reaction was, ‘I never want you to say that out loud ever again,’” Rachel told a crowd in Grand Rapids last April. They told her that being transgender was one of the worst and “dirtiest” things a person could be, shattering her self-esteem for decades to come.

[rebelmouse-image 19397902 dam="1" original_size="803x437" caption="Photo via YouTube." expand=1]Photo via YouTube.

Faced with this stark reality, Rachel made a devastating choice: to keep herself safe, she stayed in the closet. And all the while, she held onto that first reaction from her parents and struggled with shame and self-hatred.

“A lot of [trans people] were so lonely, isolated,” she explained last April. “A lot of us were killing ourselves, honestly.”

But Rachel couldn’t hide from herself forever. As she got older, she started dressing like a woman in secret, testing the waters. And when she began leaving the house dressed this way, she finally realized she could no longer live a lie.

Rachel came out again in 1994, and she emerged not only as the woman she had been all along, but as an unstoppable advocate for her community.

She wanted to make the world better for others like her, who’d struggled in silence for too long.

That’s why, in 1997, she founded Transgender Michigan. She wanted to create an organization that empowered transgender people, and let them know they weren’t alone.

Photo via Rachel Crandall-Crocker.

The organization has grown immensely since its founding. It offers trainings around gender diversity and education for cisgender and transgender people alike, with local chapters across the state bringing communities together. It also has a helpline for trans people — the very first in the United States — offering support for those in crisis.

In 2009, her organization even gained international recognition when Rachel founded Transgender Day of Visibility.

Up until that point, “Transgender Day of Remembrance” was one of the only days that trans people recognized, but it only honored trans people who had died. Rachel saw a need to create an event that also celebrated those who were living, bringing trans people together and inspiring hope.

Transgender Day of Visibility began with a simple Facebook post, but Rachel’s idea spread like wildfire, far beyond what she could have imagined. And now, the annual event is now celebrated worldwide, in countries as far away as Vietnam and Scotland. It marks a critical moment for trans people everywhere to honor the resilience of leaders like Rachel, while affirming for the next generation of trans youth that they aren’t alone.

At a time when transgender people had little support, Rachel stepped forward and blazed a trail.

Her accomplishments have felt even more meaningful to Rachel because, as someone with Tourette syndrome, she was often told she wouldn't achieve much in life.

So Rachel’s story is an important reminder that every one of us can make an impact.

“I hear a lot of people tell me that one person cannot make a difference,” she said. “You are wrong… one person CAN make a difference.”

Connections Academy

Parenting

Finding hope, healing and help to support youth mental health

Connections Academy

Wylee Mitchell is a senior at Nevada Connections Academy who started a t-shirt company to raise awareness for mental health.

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Teens of today live in a totally different world than the one their parents grew up in. Not only do young people have access to technologies that previous generations barely dreamed of, but they're also constantly bombarded with information from the news and media.

Today’s youth are also living through a pandemic that has created an extra layer of difficulty to an already challenging age—and it has taken a toll on their mental health.

According to Mental Health America, nearly 14% of youths ages 12 to 17 experienced a major depressive episode in the past year. In a September 2020 survey of high schoolers by Active Minds, nearly 75% of respondents reported an increase in stress, anxiety, sadness and isolation during the first six months of the pandemic. And in a Pearson and Connections Academy survey of US parents, 66% said their child felt anxious or depressed during the pandemic.

However, the pandemic has only exacerbated youth mental health issues that were already happening before COVID-19.

“Many people associate our current mental health crisis with the pandemic,” says Morgan Champion, the head of counseling services for Connections Academy Schools. “In fact, the youth mental health crisis was alarming and on the rise before the pandemic. Today, the alarm continues.”

Mental Health America reports that most people who take the organization’s online mental health screening test are under 18. According to the American Psychiatric Association, about 50% of cases of mental illness begin by age 14, and the tendency to develop depression and bipolar disorder nearly doubles from age 13 to age 18.

Such statistics demand attention and action, which is why experts say destigmatizing mental health and talking about it is so important.

“Today we see more people talking about mental health openly—in a way that is more akin to physical health,” says Champion. She adds that mental health support for young people is being more widely promoted, and kids and teens have greater access to resources, from their school counselors to support organizations.

Parents are encouraging this support too. More than two-thirds of American parents believe children should be introduced to wellness and mental health awareness in primary or middle school, according to a new Global Learner Survey from Pearson. Since early intervention is key to helping young people manage their mental health, these changes are positive developments.

In addition, more and more people in the public eye are sharing their personal mental health experiences as well, which can help inspire young people to open up and seek out the help they need.

“Many celebrities and influencers have come forward with their mental health stories, which can normalize the conversation, and is helpful for younger generations to understand that they are not alone,” says Champion.

That’s one reason Connections Academy is hosting a series of virtual Emotional Fitness talks with Olympic athletes who are alums of the virtual school during Mental Health Awareness Month. These talks are free, open to the public and include relatable topics such as success and failure, leadership, empowerment and authenticity. For instance, on May 18, Olympic women’s ice hockey player Lyndsey Fry will speak on finding your own style of confidence, and on May 25, Olympic figure skater Karen Chen will share advice for keeping calm under pressure.

Family support plays a huge role as well. While the pandemic has been challenging in and of itself, it has actually helped families identify mental health struggles as they’ve spent more time together.

“Parents gained greater insight into their child’s behavior and moods, how they interact with peers and teachers,” says Champion. “For many parents this was eye-opening and revealed the need to focus on mental health.”

It’s not always easy to tell if a teen is dealing with normal emotional ups and downs or if they need extra help, but there are some warning signs caregivers can watch for.

“Being attuned to your child’s mood, affect, school performance, and relationships with friends or significant others can help you gauge whether you are dealing with teenage normalcy or something bigger,” Champion says. Depending on a child’s age, parents should be looking for the following signs, which may be co-occurring:

Perpetual depressed mood
Rocky friend relationships
Spending a lot of time alone and refusing to participate in daily activities
Too much or not enough sleep
Not eating a regular diet
Intense fear or anxiety
Drug or alcohol use
Suicidal ideation (talking about being a burden or giving away possessions) or plans

“You know your child best. If you are unsure if your child is having a rough time or if there is something more serious going on, it is best to reach out to a counselor or doctor to be sure,” says Champion. “Always err on the side of caution.”

If it appears a student does need help, what next? Talking to a school counselor can be a good first step, since they are easily accessible and free to visit.

“Just getting students to talk about their struggles with a trusted adult is huge,” says Champion. “When I meet with students and/or their families, I work with them to help identify the issues they are facing. I listen and recommend next steps, such as referring families to mental health resources in their local areas.”

Just as parents would take their child to a doctor for a sprained ankle, they shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help if a child is struggling mentally or emotionally. Parents also need to realize that they may not be able to help them on their own, no matter how much love and support they have to offer.

“That is a hard concept to accept when parents can feel solely responsible for their child’s welfare and well-being,” says Champion. “The adage still stands—it takes a village to raise a child. Be sure you are surrounding yourself and your child with a great support system to help tackle life’s many challenges.”

That village can include everyone from close family to local community members to public figures. Helping young people learn to manage their mental health is a gift we can all contribute to, one that will serve them for a lifetime.

Join athletes, Connections Academy and Upworthy for candid discussions on mental health during Mental Health Awareness Month. Learn more and find resources here.

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Starbucks joins growing list of employers covering travel expenses for reproductive care

Photo by TR on Unsplash

Companies and organizations are on the side of their employees in light of stricter abortion laws.

The leak from the Supreme Court about overturning Roe v. Wade caused many people with uteruses to go into a tailspin. People began scheduling appointments for long-term birth control. Some opted for permanent birth control. Others stocked up on Plan B or called in preemptive prescriptions for the abortion pill mifepristone. In addition to making tangible plans for what the future might hold in some of these trigger states, people took to the streets to make their voices heard. Protests were held across America against the proposed overturning of Roe v. Wade, which protects people’s right to abortion under the 14th Amendment.

People are also organizing over social media. They’re helping locate nonprofits that will help cover the cost of travel from a restricted state to states where abortion will remain legal. Secret Facebook groups are popping up to help arrange transportation and accommodations for those who need access to safe reproductive care. People are coming together in ways you see in movies, all in an effort to prevent inevitable deaths that would occur if people attempt home abortions. It’s both heartwarming and heart-wrenching that this is something that needs to be done at all. It doesn’t stop with determined activists and housewives across the country, this fiery spirit has reached corporations as well.

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Joy

Jimmy Fallon had people share their worst car stories and they are hilariously relatable

Whatever gets us from A to B, right?

That first car is a rite of passage into adulthood. Specifically, the hard-earned lesson of expectations versus reality. Though some of us are blessed with Teslas at 17, most teenagers receive a car that’s been … let’s say previously loved. And that’s probably a good thing, considering nearly half of first-year drivers end up in wrecks. Might as well get the dings on the lemon, right?

Of course, wrecks aside, buying a used car might end up costing more in the long run after needing repairs, breaking down and just a general slew of unexpected surprises. But hey, at least we can all look back and laugh.

My first car, for example, was a hand-me-down Toyota of some sort from my mother. I don’t recall the specific model, but I definitely remember getting into a fender bender within the first week of having it. She had forgotten to get the brakes fixed … isn’t that a fun story?

Jimmy Fallon recently asked his “Tonight Show” audience on Twitter to share their own worst car experiences. Some of them make my brake fiasco look like cakewalk (or cakedrive, in this case). Either way, these responses might make us all feel a little less alone. Or at the very least, give us a chuckle.

Here are 22 responses with the most horsepower: