Man pleas for guys to watch the 'pebble' videos women share with them in relationships
"It's a term called 'pebbling' and I've broken up with boys because they didn't acknowledge my pebbles."
Man pleads with other men to watch videos women share
Since the invention of social media people have been sharing videos, memes and pictures they find funny or important. Most of the time they reshare them to their social media pages and move on but people also share these things via private message to people they care about. This is especially prevalent in relationships.
Recently the action has been coined as "pebbling," named after something penguins do when they like another penguin. They'll bring their penguin love interest different pebbles that they think they'll like as a way to show how much they care about them. So when one person sends things they've found on social media to their partner, they're essentially doing the same thing.
Frank Bergquist took to his own social media page to plead with other men to actually watch the videos their partner sends them for the sake of their relationship. It may sound dramatic but he seems to make a pretty compelling case.
"I know it might not be that funny to you or interesting but you gotta look at it like they're just little treats of love that she's just sort of sprinkling your way throughout the day,"Bergquist says before explaining the benefit. "This is going to benefit you in two ways. Number one, there's probably some good stuff in there. Don't underestimate her and for two it's going to prevent you from sending one to her that she's already sent to you, which is a good time for nobody."
But it's not just women who like sending videos and memes to their partners, men do it too. In a viral TikTok video one man declared "spam sharing" social media videos was his love language. The short video has over 3 million views and more than 500K likes, with people agreeing in the comments.
This "love language" may be newer to people so Bergquist's plea is simply to spread the message to unaware men so they can be better partners. Judging by the comments, women are appreciative of him sharing the knowledge for other guys to learn from.
"Okay but this came on MY feed. This needs to go on HIS feed because if I send it to him. He won’t see it," one woman laughs.
Someone shares that they think his work is divine intervention. "Sir, you understood the assignment and are doing God's work educating the rest of your peers living in darkness!"
"We like to watch all of the reels we sent to each other together at bedtime—super fun and good bonding time," another writes.
For one person the steaks are high, she says "it’s a term called “pebbling” and I’ve broken up with boys because they didn’t acknowledge my pebbles."
Sending videos may seem like no big deal but it involves feelings for some. One woman writes, "makes me sad that he wouldn’t watch my videos so I have just stopped sending them to him."
The takeaway seems to be that no matter which partner is sending the videos, take a few minutes out of your day to watch what was sent and acknowledge it. That small interaction can go a long way in making the other person feel seen.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."