'Lazy' mom of four shares a video of her incredibly messy home and parents love her for it
"It's not dirty, it's just messy."

Bri James and her messy (not dirty) home.
It’s hard to keep your home clean when you have a child, but when you have four, (and unless you have a live-in maid), it’s completely impossible. There is no dishwasher fast enough to keep up with the dishes in the sink and no magical point where all four children have it together enough to put their toys away.
The problem is that if you take your eyes off the prize and let a day go by without cleaning up, you’re practically drowning in chaos.
TikTok user and stay-at-home mom Bri James (aka @themessymama4) did the unthinkable and let her home go four days without tidying up and shared the incredible mess with everyone on TikTok.
"I know I'm going to get roasted," she says in the clip, "but ... this is what happens when two really lazy adults have four kids and don't clean up after themselves."
The clip shows cutlery on the floor, empty packets everywhere, dishes piled a mile-high in the sink, and clothes and toys strewn everywhere. The house looks like the parents went away on a permanent vacation and left their kids to fend for themselves.
The video was praised by a lot of parents who are tired of seeing mommy influencers with spotless homes and children in matching linen outfits. Finally, there was a mom on TikTok they could relate to.
"I'd MUCH rather see you clean your realistic house than watch another blonde clean an already clean countertop," Meghan Sanders wrote.
TikToker Its_not_that_serious put things in perfect perspective. "Dude, at the end of the day all of their fingers and toes are attached and feeling safe and loved you’re doing fine. Someday the house will be clean," they wrote.
"Having children is mentally and physically exhausting and you don’t always have the energy to clean every day," Rose added.
But not everyone appreciated Bri's slice of reality. Some people thought that her messiness was borderline neglectful and that she was setting a terrible example for her children.
"Set a good example for your kids. Make them help," carleebocciaa wrote.
"Without children = fine, your choice. With children (especially small ones) = completely unacceptable," ACZOgirly wrote.
Shortly after posting her first video, Bri got to work on the impossible task of cleaning up the entire house. Noticeably absent from the job were her spouse and four children. She appears to clean the entire place by herself.
She showed her cleaning prowess through a series of sped-up videos.
@themessymama4 my butt does not look flattering in these Walmart lounge pants 🤦🏼♀️😅
Finally, at 9:30 p.m., Bri was done with most of the job, although she still had a bit of vacuuming to do and there were still some dishes in the sink. At the end of it all, she was exhausted, but she got the job done and that’s all that matters.
It’s OK to let your house fall into disarray from time to time but eventually, you have to take care of business.
@themessymama4 I'm going to bed now. 🤣🥱😴
We’ll give TikToker Sannon Martin the final word on this story because she hits the nail on the head: “Your home is exactly like mine,” she wrote. “Some days it’s a wreck and some days it looks amazing. That’s life. You’re doing great!”
This article originally appeared two years ago.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."