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A dad was camping with his kids when a fellow camper slipped him this handwritten note

"From one dad to another."

Photo credit: Canva, Note image via RCampR6/Reddit

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

There are a lot of challenging things about being a parent; take your pick. The sleep deprivation, the overwhelming responsibility, the lack of free time. But truly, one of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."

The note reads:

Windshield Note.
byu/RCampR6 inYosemite

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

dads, giving men compliments, fatherhood, camping, camping with kids A handwritten note with the words "good job!" on itPhoto credit: Canva

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard.""I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

dads, giving men compliments, fatherhood, camping, camping with kids A man smilingPhoto credit: Canva

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

dads, giving men compliments, fatherhood, camping, camping with kids A dad with his kid on his shouldersPhoto credit: Canva

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

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British people love teasing their friends and say it actually creates deeper bonds and loyalty

"If I’m nice to you we have a problem."

Canva

A kid gets teased by classmates. Union Jack and American flags.

According to a meme making the rounds on social media, if you playfully mock your friends, you're "300 percent" more likely to be honest, loyal and have deeper bonds with them. But here's the catch. That number seems to have been pulled from thin air, as no one can find an actual source for that statistic.

What IS true, however, is that some researchers do believe that playful teasing can be a good thing. In his article for Psychology Today, Dr. Peter Gray Ph.D cites psychologist Dacher Keltner who claims teasing is "an intentional provocation accompanied by playful off-record markers that together comment on something relevant to the target."

But what was especially interesting about this false data making the rounds was how differently people responded to it. In particular, Americans and Brits/Aussies seemed to have very different points-of-view, at least on this Instagram thread.


Gray suggests that teasing amongst the people closest to you can take the form of showing someone you accept them despite their flaws. It can also serve as means to humble one another, encourage positive change and even test the boundaries of the relationship. "Teasing can be a sign of affection, a constructive form of criticism, or a cruel put-down. It can also be a semi-competitive verbal game, in which the players are testing one another’s abilities to keep cool in response to provocation and provide clever responses."

teasing, playful, joking, friendships An animated girl teases someone. Giphy

It's also noted how vital it is that the person on the receiving end of the "tease" understands the assignment. If their perception of the "jokes" is negative, or they're feeling sensitive, (particularly if there are third-party witnesses) the teasing slips quickly into bullying. In the study, "The Role of a Bystander in Targets’ Perceptions of Teasing Among Friends: Are You Really Teasing Me?" researchers Ildo Kim and Nicholas A. Palomares note, "Given the provocation goals involved in teasing, being teased in the presence of a third party could be undesirable to a target. The target’s response can differ depending on who the third party is (e.g., another close friend, an acquaintance, a stranger)."


After posting two women citing this stat on the @longevityxlab, the comment section was off to the races.

A handful of people pushed back against the notion, some simply writing, "No." One, (and we can't completely confirm that this person is American) writes, "I really doubt this in most cases. I have a doctorate in clinical psychology that I earned 4 decades ago. Saying hurtful things to one another is just hurtful. I think men pretend to be comfortable with it because it seems 'manly.' There are so many positive things to say to people we love. Maybe these friends are LOYAL to the friends who passively allow them to poke fun at them. I’d like to see the research."

Referring to the naysayers, one writes, "I’m assuming most of the comments are from Americans. In Britain we know this to be true. You only rip the piss out of your closest friends."

This commenter concurs. "Indeed I’m a Brit who lives in Australia. If I’m nice to you we have a problem."

This one gets more specific. "If mates don’t call you a K--b-head or a B-----d at least once when you are in their company, are they even friends?"

Of course, it's not just Brits and Aussies. People from all over the world including those from France, Brazil and Ireland commented that they essentially see playful teasing as their love language, as well. Obviously not ALL, and plenty of Americans take part in ribbing one another.

Ricky Gervais discusses American vs. British humor. www.youtube.com

But what can be confirmed is that many Brits truly enjoy the "insult" play. It's just a thing they often do. In the op-ed "The Difference Between American and British Humour" for Time Magazine, comedian Ricky Gervais writes of his fellow Brits, "We tease our friends. We use sarcasm as a shield and a weapon. We avoid sincerity until it’s absolutely necessary. We mercilessly take the piss out of people we like or dislike basically. And ourselves. This is very important. Our brashness and swagger is laden with equal portions of self-deprecation. This is our license to hand it out."

He further assures Americans, "This can sometimes be perceived as nasty if the recipients aren’t used to it. It isn’t. It’s play fighting. It’s almost a sign of affection if we like you, and ego bursting if we don’t. You just have to know which one it is."

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Sweet 6-year-old designs custom 'I'll be your friend' t-shirt for his first day of school

"He has always had a heart for others."

Unfading adornments

The world could use more Blakes.

We teach our kids how to make good choices, treat others with kindness, and (hopefully) be the type of humans who make the world a better place. But often, it's the kiddos who have a thing or two to teach us about this. After all, the science suggests that kids are actually hardwired to be prosocial and altruistic.

Take this heartwarming story for example. When 6-year-old Blake Rajahn showed up to his first grade classroom back in 2019, he arrived bearing an uplifting a message for his fellow students.

Blake's mother, Nikki Rajahn, who runs a custom personalization business in Fayette County, Georgia, asked her son what kind of t-shirt he wanted for his first day of school. He could have chosen anything—his favorite sports star's number, a cool dragon, a witty saying—anything he wanted, she could make. Blake chose something unexpected—an orange t-shirt with a simple, sweet message for the other kids at his school to see. Five little words that might just mean the world to someone who reads them.

"I will be your friend."

Ouch. My heart.

Rajahn shared the story on her business Facebook page:

"I have to brag on my son. I told him that as a back to school gift, I will make him any shirt he would like. It could have anything—a basketball theme, football, etc. which are all his favorites. He thought a while and said, 'will you please make me a shirt that says "I will be your friend" for all the kids who need a friend to know that I am here for them?' Never underestimate your kid's heart for others! I love my sweet Blake! #stopbullying"

Apparently, such a gesture is typical of Blake. "He has always had a heart for others and is very genuine," his mother told Upworthy. She said she's donating part of the proceeds of her t-shirt sales to the Real Life Center, a non-profit that helps families in need in Tyrone, Georgia, all because of Blake.

"During the summer we had a vacation Bible school that he went to," she said, "and they did a toothbrush and toothpaste drive for the Real Life Center. He came home saying we needed to go to the Dollar Store to get some that night. We told him we would go the next day, but he had to use his money for it. He said that was fine, so we asked how much he would like to spend. He said, 'It's for people who don't have any, right?' We said yes, so he very matter-of-fact said, 'Well all of it!' And he did!"

Rajahn said everyone has been very encouraging and people are starting to order their own version of the t-shirt with "#blakesfriends" added to it.

She also shared Blake's reaction to hearing that his shirt idea was starting to spread on Facebook—and again, it's just the sweetest darn thing.

"Ever since I posted about my son and his shirt, I have sold some and told Blake about it. He said, "Oh good! Now more and more people are going to have more and more friends!" He is just so flattered so many want to be his twin too 😊"

Sometimes all a person needs is one friend so they won't feel alone, and Blake going out of his way to make sure kids feel welcomed by him is an example even adults can learn from. If we all reached out to people who might be shy or who might feel excluded, and let them know in some small way that we are open to being friends, what a better world we could build.

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.

And while we can all hope that there will be kids as accommodating as Blake, here are a few ways parents can also help their own kids invite in friendships.

kids, parenting, kids t shirts, t shirt printing, sweet kids, anti bullying, custom t shirt Two friends huggingPhoto credit: Canva

Practice conversation starters

Introduce them to simple phrases like “I like your XYZ” or “Can I play with you?” Practice unexpected “what-if” scenarios, especially hw to respond when another kid isn't as receptive.

Normalize the challenges of making friends

Remind them that even if they do have a hard time making friends, that there is nothinig wrong with them. Somethings just take time and practice.

Explain the different types of friendship

Kids needs to understand that there are different circles of friendship, each that have varying levels of frequency, commitment, trust, etc. A friend that you only see at soccer games might be a little different than a bestie.

Help kids define friendship on their own terms

Talk with your kid about what they actually want in a friendship. What sort of activities do they want to share, and why?

Help identify potential friends

Ask questions to help them figure out what they might have in common with this potential friend, and what makes them friendship material

Explain that even the best friendship don't always last forever

Whether the friendship turns sour, or it begins to split paths, it's okay for that relationship to end.

This article originally appeared six years ago.

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A hospice volunteer has a fascinating new take on people's most common deathbed regret

"Grab a hold of them and don't ever let them go."

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

Friends watch a sunset together.

Until the time comes, (and it will come) we can't possibly know how we will feel in our final moments on this Earth. What will run through our minds? Who will run through our minds? Will there be enough dopamine to make it all make sense, or will we be filled with 'what ifs?'

Over the years, many hospital and hospice workers have paid close attention to what people who are on their deathbeds say. What they're most proud of, and yes, what are their main regrets.

The lens through which these caregivers can often see is wiped clear by vulnerability, and what they relay to us could alter the very courses of our lives, if we take heed.

In an online series called 365 Lessons from Strangers, host David Eng interviews people on the street whom he doesn't know for life lessons. In a recent one (life lesson 228), he meets a woman named Kassi who shares a beautiful sentiment.

She is asked, "How can we all live more happily?" and responds, "I've always been struck by the fact that we don't really value platonic relationships in society, the way that we should. I read this wonderful article. It was a person who worked as a hospice nurse, and they asked many, many people who were dying their top regrets in life. And when she averaged it out, the number one regret that people have on their deathbeds is not spending more time with their friends."

Though she didn't name the author, she might be referring to Jancee Dunn's New York Times article, "3 Lessons for Living Well, from the Dying." In it, she discusses her friend who is a hospice volunteer. "She hears one regret over and over from patients: letting relationships wither. They wish that they had made more plans with good friends, or they thought about getting back in touch with an old buddy, and talked themselves out of it."

Kassi continues, "Not that romantic or familial relationships aren't important. But in good times or bad, it's your friends that you want around you."

She makes the distinction between obligatory love (or love that might be perceived that way) and chosen love. "You've got to have somebody that you know loves you. And that doesn’t have any reason to be with you other than that they love you. I think in romantic relationships, there's always that fear that they're with you for sexual reasons or whatever. And that they don't really love and care about you.

But the friend who has no ulterior motives? Who you always know has your best interest at heart. And you can trust that they love you. The rule of thumb is everybody should treat you with respect. There's no reason for anybody to disrespect you. And anybody who really loves you will always treat you with respect. When you find a person who's a good friend, who treats you with respect and loves you for who you are, grab a hold of them and don't ever let them go."

She concludes with a simple, yet lovely thought. "We're here to love and be loved. And to touch others and to be touched by other people. Everything else is secondary. Life is beautiful and it offers a lot of beautiful experiences: nice food, great music. But none of that offers anything near the people that you love and who love you. That's the most important thing. And that's what we're here for."

friendship, love, plutonic love, life lessons three women walking on brown wooden dock. Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

The comments under her clip are touching. One wrote, "My mother always told me, 'Your friends will get you through life.'"

Another notes, "Platonic relationships are often the unsung heroes of emotional life. Deeply valuable, often more stable than romantic ones and chosen more freely than familial ones."

Many others took the moment to tag their friends in the thread and tell them they loved them.

One commenter mentions author Bronnie Ware who wrote the bestseller The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing. They share the list, one which also includes keeping in touch with friends:


"I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I wish I had let myself be happier."

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