upworthy

Friendship

Canva

A kid gets teased by classmates. Union Jack and American flags.

According to a meme making the rounds on social media, if you playfully mock your friends, you're "300 percent" more likely to be honest, loyal and have deeper bonds with them. But here's the catch. That number seems to have been pulled from thin air, as no one can find an actual source for that statistic.

What IS true, however, is that some researchers do believe that playful teasing can be a good thing. In his article for Psychology Today, Dr. Peter Gray Ph.D cites psychologist Dacher Keltner who claims teasing is "an intentional provocation accompanied by playful off-record markers that together comment on something relevant to the target."

But what was especially interesting about this false data making the rounds was how differently people responded to it. In particular, Americans and Brits/Aussies seemed to have very different points-of-view, at least on this Instagram thread.


Gray suggests that teasing amongst the people closest to you can take the form of showing someone you accept them despite their flaws. It can also serve as means to humble one another, encourage positive change and even test the boundaries of the relationship. "Teasing can be a sign of affection, a constructive form of criticism, or a cruel put-down. It can also be a semi-competitive verbal game, in which the players are testing one another’s abilities to keep cool in response to provocation and provide clever responses."

teasing, playful, joking, friendships An animated girl teases someone. Giphy

It's also noted how vital it is that the person on the receiving end of the "tease" understands the assignment. If their perception of the "jokes" is negative, or they're feeling sensitive, (particularly if there are third-party witnesses) the teasing slips quickly into bullying. In the study, "The Role of a Bystander in Targets’ Perceptions of Teasing Among Friends: Are You Really Teasing Me?" researchers Ildo Kim and Nicholas A. Palomares note, "Given the provocation goals involved in teasing, being teased in the presence of a third party could be undesirable to a target. The target’s response can differ depending on who the third party is (e.g., another close friend, an acquaintance, a stranger)."


After posting two women citing this stat on the @longevityxlab, the comment section was off to the races.

A handful of people pushed back against the notion, some simply writing, "No." One, (and we can't completely confirm that this person is American) writes, "I really doubt this in most cases. I have a doctorate in clinical psychology that I earned 4 decades ago. Saying hurtful things to one another is just hurtful. I think men pretend to be comfortable with it because it seems 'manly.' There are so many positive things to say to people we love. Maybe these friends are LOYAL to the friends who passively allow them to poke fun at them. I’d like to see the research."

Referring to the naysayers, one writes, "I’m assuming most of the comments are from Americans. In Britain we know this to be true. You only rip the piss out of your closest friends."

This commenter concurs. "Indeed I’m a Brit who lives in Australia. If I’m nice to you we have a problem."

This one gets more specific. "If mates don’t call you a K--b-head or a B-----d at least once when you are in their company, are they even friends?"

Of course, it's not just Brits and Aussies. People from all over the world including those from France, Brazil and Ireland commented that they essentially see playful teasing as their love language, as well. Obviously not ALL, and plenty of Americans take part in ribbing one another.

Ricky Gervais discusses American vs. British humor. www.youtube.com

But what can be confirmed is that many Brits truly enjoy the "insult" play. It's just a thing they often do. In the op-ed "The Difference Between American and British Humour" for Time Magazine, comedian Ricky Gervais writes of his fellow Brits, "We tease our friends. We use sarcasm as a shield and a weapon. We avoid sincerity until it’s absolutely necessary. We mercilessly take the piss out of people we like or dislike basically. And ourselves. This is very important. Our brashness and swagger is laden with equal portions of self-deprecation. This is our license to hand it out."

He further assures Americans, "This can sometimes be perceived as nasty if the recipients aren’t used to it. It isn’t. It’s play fighting. It’s almost a sign of affection if we like you, and ego bursting if we don’t. You just have to know which one it is."

Friendship

Relationship expert shares 4 signs you're the 'fringe friend' and what to do about it

Feeling like you've been pushed to the outside of your friend circle?

A woman feels left out of her friend group.

Do you ever get the feeling that you are the “fringe friend” in a social circle? You’re not quite part of the “core” group—although you may have been at some point—and these days you feel like more of an afterthought. You may get invited to the big events, but miss out on smaller lunches, and feel out of the loop on the core group’s day-to-day lives.

Feeling excluded can be hurtful and stressful. You end up wondering to yourself: Am I worthy of being a friend? Did I do something wrong? You may also feel pressured to attend every event you’re invited to because it may be your last. Dr. Christie Ferrari shared the pain of being a “fringe friend” in a recent Instagram post that received millions of views.

Ferrari is a Johns Hopkins-trained clinical psychologist with a background in CBT, DBT, behavioral psychology, and motivational models.

Here are Ferrari’s four signs you’re the “fringe friend” and why it hurts more than you think.


1. You know everyone's story, but no one stops to ask you yours.

In this imbalance, you know everything about your friends, but they know nothing about you, leaving you feeling invisible.

2. You used to be the one who always reached out. But after being ignored or canceled on too many times, you gave up—and no one noticed.

This is a huge indicator of a relationship that’s out of balance. "They noticed when you offered something but not when you pulled back," Ferrari told Newsweek. "That's because they valued the function, not the friendship."

3. You brought two people together, and now they hang out without you.

It can be extremely painful when you get aced out of a relationship that you helped create.

4. They say you're always welcome, but never actually invite you.

Ferrari calls this “passive” exclusion, where you’re neither left out nor exactly invited.

outcast, fringe friend, sad woman, high school kids, left out A woman is left out of a group project.via Canva/Photos

The viral video inspired others in the comments to add their signs that you’re a “fringe friend” as well. “You show up for their events and they don’t show up for yours,” a commenter wrote. “Add in: you show up to the event alone but somehow everyone else carpooled,” another added.

One commenter perfectly explained the pain: “Social media makes being the fringe friend even harder. You see all the times you weren’t invited…”

Ferrari did a great job of explaining what it means to be the fringe friend, but she didn’t leave everyone hanging. In another Instagram post, she shared three pieces of advice for fringe friends if they’re tired of feeling like an outcast. As the old saying goes, you can’t change people, only how you react to them. Here’s how you can react differently.

Three things to stop doing if you're tired of being the fringe friend


1. Stop being the only one to reach out; you're chasing them. Pause for two to three weeks and see who notices the space you used to fill.

2. Stop overexplaining; it signals you don't fully belong. Instead, stick to two to three sentences max; it stops your urge to prove yourself.

3. Stop hiding parts of yourself to be accepted; people can't connect fully with you if you do. Instead, say one honest thing per hangout.

iamdonshay/TikTok

Destiny Smith and Jim, 97, became friends after he crashed into her car.

Fender benders rarely turn into positive things. But for Destiny Smith and 97-year-old Jim, a minor car accident between them began a beautiful friendship.

In a compilation video shared by Seen.TV of TikTok videos shared on Smith's account (@Iamdonshay), she explains that back in September 2024, Jim rear-ended her car while she was leaving church. After talking with him, it was clear to Smith that Jim was struggling.

It was a minor accident, and she learned that he had no insurance or driver's license. She also learned that he was 97 years old. "But honestly I was just really worried because he was swerving everywhere. And then after he hit me I got out and asked him if he was okay," she shared. Jim told her he was, and that he was just trying to go home.

After talking more, the two realized they lived just two minutes away from each other. Smith vowed to Jim that she would "come check up on" him. As the video continues, Smith asks more about Jim's living situation. She learns that he lives alone, and that he doesn't have any kids or relatives nearby.

"Who helps you?" Smith asks him, and he replies, "Nobody." It's an answer that didn't sit well with Smith. "I'm so sorry," she tells him. Smith sought advice on how to help Jim from her social media followers, who she thanks for their insight.

@iamdonshay

Replying to @Nicole I am so thankful to everyone who donated to Jim registry. Now he has a mattress topper that is more comfortable for his back and lots of other essentials ♥️

"He is now going to have aides. I spoke with a social worker. It's all just gonna work out," she says in the video. "It's all gonna work out for Jim, and I'm so excited, because he's not gonna be alone anymore." Specifically, Smith shared in another video that she was able to get Jim assistance from the county, and that nurses will come to his home to help care for him.

Since then, Smith has remained a steady part of Jim's life. She visits him often, checks up on him, takes him out to meals, and also celebrated his birthday together.

In a more in-depth video, Smith told her followers more about Jim's story. "He's 97. He's outlived a lot of his family members. His brother and his wife recently passed away, and they never had children," she says. "He's really sweet."

@iamdonshay

Yall asked to see Jim when he was younger… here he is 😇😇

Smith's followers have praised her for her care and concern for Jim. One viewer commented, "Both of you were definitely meant to cross paths. This is so beautiful of you 🥺," and Smith replied, "Thank you so much! 🥰 thanks to God we did! I was very determined to get him help♥️."

Another added, "you're his new granddaughter." And one more wrote, "you are such a kind person 🥺❤️this has me tearing up." An especially touched viewer added, "You are literally heaven sent 🙏thank you for watching out for him & his wellbeing."

Viewers are also obsessed with their unique friendship: "I just love how y’all formed a relationship he needed you🫶🏾🙏🏽," one viewer wrote, and Smith replied, "I love him 🥰🥰🥰."

Another viewer commented, "Dynamic Duo."


This article originally appeared in May.

Nothing compares to witnessing a loved one bring a baby into the world.

Friends are one of life's most valuable treasures, and if you're fortunate enough to find a close group of friends, it's like hitting the jackpot. This is especially true during certain big life milestones, which is why a video of three women sharing a key life moment with a mutual friend has people celebrating the beauty of true friendship.

Alyana South shared the video with the caption, "This was one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever had. Being in the room with my best friends during this beautiful moment was everything. I love you guys so much! Thank you @lexigelz for allowing us to be a part of your big day!! I love him soooo much!!!"

childbirth, giving birth, having a baby, newborn baby Getting to witness a baby come into the world is a gift.Photo credit: Canva

It's a genuinely powerful birth video, despite the fact that it doesn't show even one iota of the birth, the birthing mom, or the baby. All we see is the friends' reactions during the final pushes and the wee one's arrival, but that part of the story is beautiful in its own right.

The first thing we see are the friends huddled together on a sofa along the wall of a dim room. We hear voices coaching the mom, but the friends stay totally silent. Their body language, however, says it all. First, they lean over and pile on top of one another to be able to see. As the baby starts to come out, the women slap each other's legs in excitement and hold one another's hands in anticipation, and their excitement is palpable. The hands over the mouths. The smiles. The tears. They're so clearly proud of their friend, and when the baby's first cry hits, the joy is just too much.

Watch:

@alyanaksouth

This was one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever had. Being in the room with my best friends during this beautiful moment was everything. I love you guys so much! Thank you @lexigelz for allowing us to be a part of your big day!! I love him soooo much!!!

The comments did not disappoint.

"The way they silently watched and let mommy and daddy have their time while supporting….so beautiful!!!!!"

"The way you all were quiet but so supportive was absolutely amazing. That’s true friendship 🥀"

""They were dying but remained quiet and did not take away from the moment for their friend. This was so sweet. Made me cry."

"So quiet and respectful. What an honor// and those aunties gonna be saying for the rest of baby’s life, 'I was there when you were born…'💕💕"

"And these are your three fairy godmothers my sweet! ✨✨✨"

flora, fauna, merryweather, fairy godmothers, disney Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather, the three fairy godmothers in Disney's "Sleeping Beauty." Giphy

"Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather at the birth of Aurora like…"

"The way they all pile up on each other is so sweet to me. You can tell they’ve all known each other for a very long time. This is the final phase of, “we were girls together.” Now they’re all women and their friend is a mother."

"It’s the way they silently celebrate. They slap each others leg, hold each other, don’t take from the moment from their bestie. And they’re SO proud too I love it, literally gives me goosebumps 😭❤️"

"Women are such magic! I love the adult version of girl hood. What a beautiful moment of women celebrating women!"

"Womanhood and girlhood in one video."

four women, friendship, female relationships, womanhood Friends that are there for the big milestones carry a special place in your heart forever.Photo credit: Canva

And that's really the crux of what makes this video so viscerally beautiful. The giddiness over what they're seeing and their expression of friendship is reminiscent of girlhood, but what's they're actually experiencing is sheer womanhood. Women have supported one another through childbirth for millennia.

Friends we are close to in one season of life we may not be as close to in another, but the ones who see us through big life milestones always hold a special place in our memories and hearts. Wherever life takes these friends, this is a moment none of them will ever forget.