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Drew Barrymore and Dylan Mulvaney share powerful moment on what they've learned from their critics

“It’s beautiful when your childhood icons are actually decent people."

Drew Barrymore Dylan Mulvaney

The Drew Barrymore Show/YouTube

Drew Barrymore speaks with Dylan Mulvaney

Drew Barrymore has been part of our public lives for more than 40 years. And while she has millions of fans, you're bound to pick up some critics along the way.

These days, it's easy to dismiss any sort of criticism as out of bounds, be it sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia and so on.

Which is why it's easy to understand why one might assume that's where Barrymore was going in her interview with trans influencer and activist Dylan Mulvaney.

Instead, the pair shared a powerful exchange, even kneeling on the floor where Barrymore felt the intimacy of their moment would be "safer." They broke down what they've learned from their critics and how they've learned to move beyond other kinds of criticism that are only designed to cause harm.

Mulvaney sat down with Barrymore to discuss the inspiration behind her “365 Days of Girlhood” series, where Mulvaney posts daily social media videos documenting her transition.

Mulvaney acknowledged that she did receive some feedback from fellow trans celebrity Laverne Cox about how Mulvaney was handling her public transition. "She said to keep something private for myself," Mulvaney said. "And I couldn't agree more in the way that there were a few moments this year where I was like, 'Was I actually ready to say that?' But now, since meeting her, and having that moment, I go, 'Okay, what would Laverne do?' and I have actually stopped myself from making a few videos to make sure I was actually ready to talk about those things."

Mulvaney then went on to explain that even when keeping some things private, she also tries to consider what her growing audience of fans gains from her videos.

“I think about if I was following myself on TikTok as a young kid, what would I want to hear?” Mulvaney told Barrymore, adding that the amount of support she has received was a complete surprise.

“I figured when I came out that I might have to go into hiding and then do all my surgeries privately and change my name and instead decided, hey, let me see if the world is willing to accept me this way from day one, and they did,” she said.

When asked how she dealt with negative comments online towards herself and the trans community, Mulvaney shared, “I think the greatest weapon that I can contribute is trans joy…I’m not somebody that is trying to do anything but be myself and be happy.”

Towards the end of the segment, Barrymore got on her knees to get closer to Mulvaney while explaining her own approach to handling criticism, comparing film reviews to today’s social media (“You are pretty much guaranteed a 50-50, some like it, some don’t.”) and going so far as to say her worst critic is still often herself.

The two sat on the floor together and shared a hug just before going to a commercial break.

“Thank you for joining me on the floor. The floor always feels safer,” Barrymore said.

While some people took issue with the exchange, in particular finding offense at Barrymore "kneeling" before Mulvaney (a quickly debunked claim), the exchange was in reality a positive, unifying example of how we can learn from some criticism while understanding when it's better to simply let the outside voices go.

And it's not like it's the first time Barrymore has used her show to go deeper.

As one person was quick to point out, this is not the first time Barrymore has demonstrated this gesture and even provided pictures to prove it.

Obviously the people attacking Drew Barrymore for showing compassion & being on the floor has never seen her show. She literally does this with A LOT of guest to feel more connected & to make the interview feel less formal.

Um, Hello! 👇 pic.twitter.com/uEUcpWA1sN
— ⚡️⚡️PJ⚡️⚡️🌈 (@PJocky82) March 14, 2023

Actress Laura J Silverman, who claimed to work with Barrymore, attested that this kind of behavior was simply her MO.

“I worked with Drew Barrymore once and she really is that person—lovely, kind, generous, genuine; open hearted, interested, fun. Full of life. A lot of people would do well to emulate that.”

Others were quick to defend Barrymore’s actions, saying it spoke more to her humanity than anything else.

“Drew Barrymore is a sweet, honest, kind, human being who puts empathy, compassion, and the comfort of others first,” one person wrote.

“It’s beautiful when your childhood icons are actually decent people who care about Queer people,” another added.

You can watch the full video below.

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Friendship is an important part of leading a fulfilling life.

According to an October 2023 Pew Research Center report, 61% of adults in the U.S. say that having close friends is an essential part of living a fulfilling life—a far higher percentage than those who say the same about being married (23%), having children (26%) or having a lot of money (24%). The research also found that having more friends is linked to being more satisfied with friendships in general. Approximately 81% of people with five or more close friends share they are "completely" or "very" satisfied with their friendships, while 65% of those with one to four close friends say the same.

But what does being satisfied with friendship even mean? What earns someone the label of "friend"? Or more importantly, what does it mean to be a good friend?

We asked our audience what makes someone a good friend, and the responses were interesting. Naturally, there were some common themes, but people also had some diverse ideas about what's important in a friendship.

Some people shared short, sweet lists of traits that are essential in a friendship:

"Caring, loyal, kind and completely non-judgemental." –Annika B.

"Trustworthy, loyal, supportive, flexible, patient, understanding. Caring." – Jonathan S.

"Kind, helpful, supportive and honest." – Marjorie M.

"Conversation and laughter. Kind and caring." – Kathleen M.

"Unconditional love, laughter, and honesty." – Molly H.

"When you are a better person with them than by yourself. And kindness " – Gillian N.

"They know how to really listen without judging." – Bernadette C.

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Others offered a bit more detail:

"Being able to pick up where you left off even if some time has passed and it feels like no time has passed. Someone who will give you straight advice, but love you even if you don't follow it." – Melissa O.

"Someone you can talk honestly with, belly laugh with, but also just sit in silence with…knowing they just get you." – Lori T.

"Someone non judgemental who loves you even when you’ve struggled to love yourself. Someone who loves you unconditionally despite your flaws." – Sue H.

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"Kind, supportive, dependable, wants to spend time together, someone you can laugh and cry with. There on your important days, and in your time of need. And you have to be all those things for them in return." – Della D.

"They get you, allow you to be who you are, laugh with you, cry with you, no matter time or distance - you just pick up where you left off, they back you up - even when you’re not there to defend yourself." – Zan M.

"Honesty, kindness, understanding, ability to disagree without anger, trust, willing to tell each other hard truth with love, forgiveness." – Deborah H.

"They fill a need you have. There are many different kinds of friends. Childhood friends ,School friends, work friends, church friends etc...they all play a special role in your life." – Elizabeth B.

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And finally, some people offered specific details and personal anecdotes about their friendships:

"Sharing common interest and really caring about each other. listening is very important not just speaking to each other. My best friend of 60 years passed away a couple of years ago and I cannot tell you how much I miss her and her nonjudgmental friendship." – Carole J.

"Someone who supports you publicly and tells you hard truths privately, who cheerleads your successes and empathises your lows, who trusts you and you them. Who loves you flaws and all - but all of this you reciprocate in being a good friend. Time flies together and even after months apart you pick up like it was yesterday. Who you want to tell your big news too and your bad news too first." – Elsa P.

"Has great sense of humour, shared interests & values, compassionate, empathic, kind, doesn’t try to 'fix' me, doesn’t minimize my lived experiences as 'not so bad,' able to listen without judgment, and allows me to be there for them." – Linda H.

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"I don’t know, sometimes they just love you, even when you don’t want them too. You have to acknowledge them, they don’t ask for anything just want to be with you. I have a 30 yr friendship because she didn’t give up on me. I came to realize she was more forgiving and accepted me for just me. She’s not too kind, sometimes selfish but she’s there, when you get older you also accept and understand no one is perfect and if you get mad at everyone you might wind up without friends we start dying off or in old age homes. We are who we are, just love each other flaws and all. Annoying things find a way to keep friendship, not awful bad things. You guys know what I mean." – Ney C.

"Someone who knows they can call you at 2 AM, and you can do the same. Someone you house and dog sit for, whose dogs come to greet you when they hear the garage door open and who happily sit on you. Someone that refused to let you pay for Lyft to get to chemotherapy appointments, but took you each time, checked on you afterwards, brought food knowing that you didn’t feel like cooking, visited to talk about all kinds of things, and just was there for you when you were feeling the considerable side effects of chemotherapy." – Yaca A.

We all need people in our lives we can depend on, share our joys and sorrows with, and support in return. And if we have a hard time making friends, we can always rely on the wisdom of preschoolers to remind us of the basic building blocks of friendship.

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