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Social worker explains why she never helps young daughter make friends, even when she's lonely

"As a parent, that's heartbreaking. As a social worker, I'm not going to do anything about it."

lonely girl, school kids, social isolation, school, first-graders, class
via Canva/Photos

A young girl being excluded at school.

One of the generational stereotypes that Millennials and Gen Zers have had foisted on them by older people is that they lack resilience. The knock isn’t completely unfounded, because many have been raised by lawnmower parents who cut down any obstacle that was in their way as children. So, as adults, they never developed the ability to handle difficult social situations. This can lead to a sense of entitlement and social anxiety.

“Lots of parents want to keep their children safe and feel the need to do all they can to achieve this, even when it is too much on them or their child,” Channing Richmond, a licensed marriage and family therapist in the San Francisco Bay Area, told Parents. That’s why Helen Turner, a social worker and LMFT, doesn’t get involved even when her first-grade daughter is feeling socially isolated at school.

young girl alone, girl with smartphone, girl window, girl stuffed animal, boredom A young girl alone at a window.via Canva/Photos

The difference between being a mom and a social worker

“My daughter has been coming home every night of first grade so far, saying that she does not have any friends at school, that no one wants to play with her. And while, as a parent, that's heartbreaking, as a social worker, I'm not gonna do anything about it,” Turner opens her viral video that has been seen over 33,000 times.

“Often times, when parents insert themselves into these kinds of things and attempt to problem solve the situation for their child because they want the problem to be fixed, what they're actually doing is taking the ability for their child to learn what to do in these situations away from their child, which in turn provides a really short term fix for something that will likely be an ongoing, long term, lifelong issue,” she continues.

What is distress tolerance?

Turner says that the ability to endure the feeling of rejection and allow it to prompt someone to take action is called distress tolerance. “Distress tolerance is a person's ability to manage actual or perceived emotional distress,” writes Matthew Tull, PhD, in Verywell Mind. “It also involves making it through an emotional incident without making it worse. People who have low distress tolerance tend to become overwhelmed by stressful situations and may sometimes turn to unhealthy or even destructive ways of coping with these difficult emotions.”

@helennichole3

Real life: School social worker as a mother. #parenthood #parenthack #school #socialwork #childhood

The key in this situation is to find a balance between setting your child up for success and doing things for them. Experts recommend that parents encourage children to make friends by teaching them to share and how to ask their peers to play confidently. Parents can help by teaching them the simple script: “Hi, I’m [child], would you like to play?” or “Hi, I’m [child], would you like to have lunch with me?” Parents can also set a good example by being friendly themselves and demonstrating a healthy social life. However, Turner believes that parents should avoid asking the teacher or other parents to insert their child into a friend group.

Although it may be tough for parents to watch their children feel isolated, it’ll help them form stronger relationships as they age. “If I had not had to learn that skill as a child or earlier in my life, it would feel debilitating to do now at 30 years old,” Turner says. “I don't know about you all, but I want my children to grow up and be 20s, 30s, 40s nnd not having to learn social situations for the first time then.”

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How humanitarian parole programs help migrant families in crisis

Through her work as a humanitarian parole sponsor, Sandra McAnany has helped uplift more than a dozen Latin American migrants and changed lives in the process.

Sandra visiting E’s family in Georgia (2023)

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Sandra McAnany isn’t one to sit on the sidelines. A 58-year-old grandmother from Wisconsin, McAnany spends her days teaching soft skills classes to adults and spending time with her family. Outside the classroom, however, she’s taken on a role that’s helping people in a big way: serving as a humanitarian parole sponsor and personally taking on the financial responsibility of supporting families fleeing from persecution, violence, and instability.

Since 2023, McAnany has welcomed 17 migrants—11 adults and six children through the CHNV humanitarian parole program, which allows individuals and families from Cuba, Haiti, Nicaragua and Venezuela to live and work temporarily in the United States with the support of an approved sponsor.

“Everyone has their own views and perspectives, but every person I sponsored is thriving and doing well here,” McAnany said.

McAnany didn’t know any of the parolees before sponsoring them, but she had a commitment to helping families from Venezuela specifically, hoping to reunite them with their families who were already living in the United States. After “praying a lot along the way” and communicating with the applicants through WhatsApp, she decided to apply as a sponsor and help them settle into the United States.

“I have a bedroom and a bathroom in my basement,” McAnany says. “My door is open and will always be open for any of the people I sponsored, if they ever have a need for housing.”

Sandra’s granddaughter, E’s daughter, and another friend at an indoor park (July 2025)

At the time, McAnany decided to volunteer as a sponsor to make friends and help other people through hardship. Now, her mission has grown: Seeing how humanitarian parole programs have changed her parole beneficiaries’ lives—as well as her own—for the better.

Humanitarian parole: A long history

Humanitarian parole programs are nothing new. Since 1952, both Democratic and Republican administrations have used humanitarian parole to provide a safer, lawful pathway for noncitizens to enter and live temporarily in the United States. In recent years, through different programs, people from Afghanistan, Ukraine, Cuba, Haiti, and other countries have been able to come to the U.S. to escape urgent crises in their own countries, such as political instability or war.

Coming to the United States through humanitarian parole is no easy feat. The process has its own strict criteria and involves extensive applications and vetting for both beneficiaries and their sponsors. Parolees don’t need to qualify for any other immigration benefit like asylum, but they need to meet the standard for humanitarian parole and successfully pass vetting requirements.

According to Refugees International, 532,000 people have been granted parole through the CHNV program.

A life-changing experience

From the moment she met her first parole beneficiaries at the airport—two families —McAnany already knew it would be a life-changing experience. “It immediately felt like family, like we were lifelong friends,” she said. But she could also sense that it was a culture shock for the parolees. On the way home from the airport, McAnany pulled into a nearby McDonald's and encouraged them to order dinner. Hearing the word “Big Mac,” the families smiled in recognition.

Despite the culture shock, McAnany’s parole beneficiaries had to adapt quickly to life in the United States. Once they were settled, McAnany worked “nonstop” to help the families acclimate to their new lives, answering questions about school and vaccinations while also helping them create resumes, search for jobs, and find English classes online.

It was through this process that McAnany realized just how resilient people could be, and was amazed “not only how hard it was for individuals to leave their loved ones behind, but the amount of work they did to come to the country and remain here.” McAnany also realized how fortunate she was to have her own family living nearby. “I can’t imagine any one of us leaving a country and being apart for an unknown length of time,” she said.

Eventually, and as circumstances changed—one of the parolees found a new job in another city, for example, and was able to move out. But no matter the length of time they spent with each other, McAnany says that with every parolee they formed a bond built for life. One woman, who she refers to as ‘E,’ has even become “like an adopted daughter.” McAnany has traveled to Georgia, where E now lives, three times to visit her.

Uncertain ground: What’s next for humanitarian parole programs

Despite being a critical part of immigration policy in the United States for the last 73 years, humanitarian parole programs are under threat. Immigrant justice nonprofits Justice Action Center and Human Rights First are currently suing the federal government to protect humanitarian parole programs and allow parole beneficiaries to remain in the country for the duration of their parole. McAnany is a plaintiff in the lawsuit.

One of the ladies Sandra sponsored from Venezuela and her partner during Sandra’s first visit to meet her (December 2023)

Participating in the lawsuit has only further bolstered McAnany’s belief in and support for humanitarian parole programs. She hopes the lawsuit will be successful, she says, so that parole beneficiaries and their families can finally have some stability.

“We don’t know what the future is,” she says, “but I want to be optimistic and hopeful that every person I sponsored will be able to stay here safely in the U.S. and continue to thrive.”

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.


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A dad was camping with his kids when a fellow camper slipped him this handwritten note

"From one dad to another."

Photo credit: Canva, Note image via RCampR6/Reddit

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

There are a lot of challenging things about being a parent; take your pick. The sleep deprivation, the overwhelming responsibility, the lack of free time. But truly, one of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."

The note reads:

Windshield Note.
byu/RCampR6 inYosemite

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

dads, giving men compliments, fatherhood, camping, camping with kids A handwritten note with the words "good job!" on itPhoto credit: Canva

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard.""I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

dads, giving men compliments, fatherhood, camping, camping with kids A man smilingPhoto credit: Canva

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

dads, giving men compliments, fatherhood, camping, camping with kids A dad with his kid on his shouldersPhoto credit: Canva

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Researchers found that scrolling while pooping dramatically raises your chance of getting hemorrhoids

A good reason to be mindful of your time on the toilet.

via Canva/Photos

A man looking at his phone on the toilet.

Have you ever been scrolling through social media on your phone and then suddenly wondered where all the time went? You glance at the clock and wonder, “OMG, did I really just spend 30 minutes mindlessly scrolling on this app?” Well, after a new report published in PLOS ONE, you’ll think twice about getting lost doomscrolling while sitting on the toilet.

A team of researchers at Boston Medical Center found that people who scroll on their phones while pooping have a much higher chance of getting hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids are swollen veins, akin to varicose veins, that are either internal or external. They can be painful, itchy, and sometimes bleed.

Looking at your smartphone on the toilet could cause hemorrhoids

“Smartphone use on the toilet was associated with a 46% increased risk of hemorrhoids,” the paper found after adjusting for sex, age, fiber intake, and exercise activity. To come to this grim conclusion, the researchers interviewed 125 patients at the medical center and asked them about their toilet habits, including whether they scrolled through their phone or not.

phone, toilet, hemorrhoids, smartphone, tiktok, social media, toilet health A woman looking at her phone on the toilet.via Canva/Photos

What the researchers found was that those who bring their phone into the bathroom spend more time on the toilet; therefore, increasing the likelihood of developing hemorrhoids. “Of all respondents, 83 (66%) used smartphones while on the toilet,” the study found. “Furthermore, smartphone users spent considerably more time on the toilet compared to non-smartphone users, with many spending more than five minutes on the toilet per visit.”

Of those who looked at the phone on the toilet, 37.3% said that they sat on the throne for six to fifteen minutes. Non-phone users sat longer than six minutes only 7.1% of the time. "The likely explanation is that prolonged sitting increases pressure in the veins around the rectum, which can contribute to hemorrhoids," Dr. Ernesto Gonzaga, a gastroenterologist from the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania, told ABC News.

“When you’re sitting on an open toilet bowl, you have no pelvic floor support,” Dr. Trisha Pasricha, the study’s senior author and a gastroenterologist at Massachusetts General Hospital, told CNN. The study said that 54% of people who use the phone while pooping are reading the news, and 44% said they were scrolling through social media.

phone, toilet, hemorrhoids, smartphone, tiktok, social media, toilet health A man looking at his phone on the toilet.via Canva/Photos

The study was conducted on people 45 and over

The study was conducted on people aged 45 and older, a beneficial group to examine because some individuals in this age group don’t bring their phones to the bathroom. The study would have been much harder to conduct on younger people.

“It was helpful to have this (45 and older) group because there were people who didn’t use their smartphones on the toilet. So we had a comparison group,” Dr. Trisha Pasricha, the study’s senior author, told CNN. “Having a third of people not bringing their smartphones to the bathroom helped us understand what a baseline could look like, especially as I imagine the situation is more profound for younger individuals.”

If you’re afraid of developing hemorrhoids, the first step is to make sure that, if you take your phone with you to the bathroom, you stop scrolling when you’re done evacuating your bowels. You can also eat more high fiber foods, such as fruits and vegetables, and be sure to exhale while pushing and not strain. It’s also important to keep a healthy weight and to avoid sitting for too long, whether on a toilet or in your car. Hemorrhoids are a pain in the butt, and they’re not worth it, no matter how great the latest tea is on TikTok.

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A teacher asked 7th graders what 40-year-olds do for fun and their answers are merciless

Elder millennials are feeling attacked, but the kids aren't exactly wrong.

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7th grade students guessed what hobbies 40-year-olds have and the answers are hilarious.

Like it or not, kids will tell you what they really think. Their naive honesty is refreshing, hilarious, and at times, a little bit rough on the self-esteem of the adults around them. Regardless, they don't shy away from telling it like it is, or at least how they see it.

That's why 7th grade teacher Shane Frakes loves to frequently poll his students for their opinions on, well, almost anything.

Going by @7thgradechronicles on TikTok, Frakes regularly goes viral for his hilarious content and observations about his Gen Alpha students. But more than just building a platform and side hustle for his own gain, Frakes makes great use of his social media savvy to keep his kids energized and engaged in the daily lessons.

In a recent video, he asked his students to weigh in on this question: "What do you think people in their 40s do for fun?!"

40, 40 year olds, gen x, millennials, gen alpa, gen z, generations, generational differences, teacher, student, tiktok, humor Im Old Tv Shows GIF by PBS SoCal Giphy

The responses are not for the faint of heart. Here's the list the kids came up with:

  • Play Wordle
  • Watch TV in black and white
  • Go gamble!
  • Spoiling all [their] grandchildren or nieces and nephews
  • Play Pickleball! A sport that doesn't move as much
  • Count coupons
  • Go on Facebook
  • Go and buy home decor
  • Grill food on Sundays
  • Saying No to everything I ask for
  • Bingo
  • Take their medicine
  • Knitting
  • Play golf
  • Sitting in a chair on the patio yelling, "Get off my lawn!"
I'm sorry, did we say 40s or 80s? Playing with our grandkids? Bingo?! KNITTING?!

Watch the whole video for a few fun easter eggs and unfortunate illustrations:

@7thgradechronicles

Back In My Day 😆🥲 #teachersoftiktok #teacher #teachertok #middleschool #middleschoolteacher

Commenters in their 40s wanted to be offended, but had to admit that the kids had them pegged.

"Home goods is accurate," one wrote.

"I needed this laugh right before bed and I see no wrong answers," a commenter said.

"40 and I scored fairly high on this," said another.

"The accuracy. I feel attacked," added another user.

"These are more accurate than I would've guessed," another summed up perfectly.

Millennials have been called the Peter Pan generation because of their apparent delays in "growing up."

They look younger, seem younger, and even feel younger than a lot of their predecessors. It's a well-documented phenomenon, in fact. Part of it has to do with cultural and societal factors that have delayed major life milestones. Millennials came of age in a time where earning high-pay in their careers, getting married, and buying a house were more difficult than they ever were for their parents. Many people in the "Peter Pan generation" are just beginning to really get on their feet in their 30s.

Millennials also hold a deep fear of aging, more so than Gen X does. That may drive them to cling to styles, cultural references, and other preferences from their younger days. But it's not weird, no. This blurring of the lines that define what a generation is has actually been pretty seamless.

"A millennial parent can post a TikTok dance with their kids, binge Stranger Things, or geek out over a Marvel premiere without feeling like they’re stepping out of their lane," says Stacy Jones, a pop culture expert and founder of Hollywood Branded. "Earlier generations were pigeonholed into what their generation was supposed to be. Millennials are defining that instead. That cross-generational cultural participation blurs what 'age' looks and feels like. And it doesn’t stop there - today’s 50-year-old doesn’t look or act like the 50-year-old of yesterday. Wellness, skincare, acceptance of Botox, fitness, and social media have redefined what 'middle age' even means, pushing the whole curve of youthfulness upward."

Jones definitely has a point about how people look; there must be something in the water. This is what a 40 year old looked like just a few decades ago. No offense to the great Kelsey Grammer, but by today's standard, the style and hair would have most people peg him to be in his (late) 50s.

40, 40 year olds, gen x, millennials, gen alpa, gen z, generations, generational differences, teacher, student, tiktok, humor Kelsey Grammer as Dr. Frasier Crane in 1996By US Treasury Dept. Public Domain

All the more reason that Mr. Frakes' students' list is absolutely hysterical. If there's anyone bound to be playfully offended by being prematurely aged, it's us millennials. But the fact of the matter is, whether we like it or not, we are getting older and settling down. Many of us truly do enjoy shopping for home decor and playing a round of low-impact pickleball.

What the kids don't understand is that we're still rocking the hottest music of 2001 and wearing our baseball cap backwards while we do it.

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Mom realizes she's been using the 'heavy' setting on her washer wrong for years—and fellow moms are shook

"Today years old when I realize why my blankets are sopping wet."

Image courtesy of @granolabarpan/Instagram (with permission)

Stay-at-home mom Catrina shares shock at learning what the 'heavy' setting on her washer means.

Knocking out loads of laundry is a feeling of accomplishment that is unmatched. Depending on what needs to be washed, washing machines offer a variety of settings for the ideal clean. But even the most seasoned laundry pros can admit that they don't fully understand how to use them properly.

One stay-at-home mom shared her funny and relatable washing machine mistake. Catrina (@granolabarpan) got the shock of a lifetime when she realized that she had been using the "heavy" setting on her washer wrong for years.

"POV: today years old when it clicks why my blankets are sopping wet!!! I thought HEAVY meant heavy items being washed," she wrote in the video's overlay.

"Heavy on my machine means heavily soiled," she went on to add in the comments. "I thought it meant the stuff I was putting in the machine was heavy in weight/pounds."

Some moms are also realizing this for the first time. "Ok.. so I am 66 years old learning this???!! I always thought that heavy meant weight also😂," one person commented. Another person wrote, "Well I was today years old when I learned what heavy meant too…😂"

Others expressed confusion with so many settings, and reminiscing on simpler times. "Wait a minute. 😂. I think I need to for once go and read the manual because I have been wondering about all of the options," another user wrote. And another chimed in, "I want my old $250 3 options hot/warm/cold on/off washer back. It didn’t die it rusted out but took 25yrs to do it. I had 5 kids, plus my ex in-laws living with me."

Washing machine settings, explained

Struggling to understand the settings on your washing machine? You're not alone.

"Knowing these settings helps avoid common laundry mistakes, such as using the heavy cycle for heavy fabric weight instead of heavy soil, which can lead to ineffective cleaning or damage over time," Vanessa Ruiz, a professional organizer at Sparkly Maid San Antonio, tells Upworthy.

These are five washing machine settings and how they work:

1. Normal/Regular Cycle
Ruiz explains that this is your typical setting for day-to-day loads such as t-shirts, jeans, sheets, and underwear.

"These laundry loads are typically washed in warm water and the setting is rinsed with medium spin speeds through agitation in order to properly clean moderately soiled garments," she says. "This cycle is safe enough to wash a variety of different fabric content with a somewhat dirty load."

2. Delicate/Gentle Cycle
Ruiz notes that the delicate cycle is created specifically for delicate fabrics—lingerie, silk, lace, or embellished clothing—that may become damaged in a normal or regular wash.

"This cycle will use moderate spin speeds through gentle agitation to thoroughly dry clean and not damage clothes too easily," says Ruiz. "This is the preferred cycle when laundry items that require extra care or are labeled 'delicate' or 'hand wash' need to be washed."

3. Heavy Duty Cycle
The heavy duty cycle is specifically for heavily soiled items like work clothes, kitchen towels, and bedding.

"This setting uses higher water temperatures, longer wash times, and powerful agitation to remove stubborn dirt and grime. It’s perfect for those tough laundry jobs, but not recommended for delicate fabrics," explains Ruiz.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

4. Bulky/Bedding Cycle
This cycle is often confused with "heavy."

"This cycle accommodates larger, heavier items that absorb a lot of water, such as comforters, pillows, and sleeping bags," says Ruiz. "It uses more water, medium spin speeds, and longer wash times to thoroughly clean bulky items without causing damage or imbalance."

5. Quick Wash
In a rush? This is the perfect setting to use.

"It is an accelerated wash cycle designed for small loads of lightly soiled clothes, usually lasting 15 to 40 minutes," says Ruiz. "It’s great for when you need clean clothes fast and can save energy compared to longer cycles."

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A woman over 50 turned her van into a serene 'tiny home' and has lived in it for 3 years

"I needed my soul to heal."

Photo by Leo_Visions on Unsplash

A van in the desert.

Sometimes, when life gets too complicated, we need to slow down and get smaller. This was the case for Lori Losch, who woke up one day, post-50-years-old, and decided it was time for a change.

As she explains in a video posted to the Tiny Homes YouTube channel, "I decided to do 'van life' for a couple of reasons. One was to heal from some pretty traumatic life events. And the other was to find a smaller town to move to, to be able to interview small towns as I traveled."

Losch reveals on her website that she battled addiction for a quarter of a century. "I’m a soul who finally broke free from the addiction cycle after a 25-year battle. I used the pain of powerlessness, acute anxiety, and bouts of deep depression to point me towards truth and freedom." After leaning into 12-step programs, psychedelic plant healing, faith, and relying on her community, she shares she has truly learned what it is to be alive.

Part of that is traveling, and this is something she likes to do on her own terms. So, she custom-designed a van to feel like a "tiny home" where she lives, works, travels, and heals. She even bought a custom curtain to separate the front area (where the driving happens) from the back so that it feels less like an RV and more like a home.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

On her tour, she first shows the viewers a swivel desk. "It's been an amazing feature, this lagoon table." It serves as her office when she's talking to clients, but also as a hub if she just wants to sip a latte or watch a movie on her laptop with her dog by her side.

She designed her kitchen so that her sink would have a big window view, which changes daily. "I wanted to have a lot of counter space and also the butcher block creates just warmth in the van." Of the large sink, she loves that she can wash her 11-pound dog Tessa in it. Her tiny fridge/freezer is "low volt," above which she has organized food storage. "You learn how to live just much more minimally, but I cook great food in this little kitchen. You know how they say three-point kitchen? Well, this is a one-point kitchen and it's perfection."

Losch also notes that when you scale down to just the essentials, you might find greater value in those things. She alludes to having had large homes in the past, one with "1500 books." Now, she simply has the books she's reading or plans to read. "When I'm done with them, they move on to other people." (The books incidentally hide the interior antenna for her "weBoost system," which helps boost cell service "when you're in a dodgy spot.")

books, cozy corner, design, van life, travel An open book sitting on top of a table next to a candle. Photo by anotherxlife on Unsplash

The bathroom is incredibly innovative, but, ironically, she found she didn't need much of what was built. She points out that while she has an exterior shower, she thought she wanted an interior shower, as well. And although she has a super cool setup wherein she flips a little table over and puts up a shower curtain, she prefers showering outside. As for the toilet, "I got a Cassette Toilet. It's like the best thing you can buy and I've never put my butt on it." She continues, "I climb a lot of mountains. I'm mainly out in nature, and nature is fine." Instead, she uses the area for laundry and storage and claims, "I roll with it cuz it's here. I use it for something different than I anticipated."

Her bedroom is cozy and, though she designed it like a little cave, it has a small window too. She got a ten-inch foam mattress set up at the back of the van, and the doors hinge out. She shares, "When I'm backed onto a lake or a river, I open up both doors and they hinge 270 degrees. That was super important to me. So I'm just up here, room with a view—it's awesome."

lake view, van life, outdoor living, mental health, travel A lake surrounded by mountains. Photo by clement fusil on Unsplash

Every design decision came with a lot of research and intentionality. She has an AC and diesel heating system, which she explains, "...Uses your fuel. It pipes out from under the passenger seat into the van and takes about two minutes, literally, to heat this place up." She also meticulously built a garage that houses the electrical features. "I went with 300 solar watt panels on the roof and they charge 400 amp hours of lithium battery. And I've got a DC to DC inverter, so when you're driving the van, it's also charging."

She explains, "A question I get asked often is 'Why? Why the van? Why tiny living?' And I think for me, my life was always fairly contained. I liked to live below my means. I didn't like a whole lot of extravagance and waste. Then I got married and I found myself with someone who was extravagant in a lot of things, with multiple homes. When I came out of it, it's like the pendulum had to go way back this way for my soul to heal."

Losch shares her end game is to "find a piece of land" to build on and be self-contained. And though people tell her that her van is small, she says it's not about the size of the van, "It's about where the van takes you."

The comments, and there are over a thousand, buzz with support. One person writes, "I don't know which is more beautiful—this lovely woman, or the peaceful home she has created. Wonderful video, and I wish her healing and happiness in her travels."

So many seem to relate to her need for repair after addiction and are inspired by the idea that one can change their life at any age. "What a gorgeous woman! She is over 50—let that sink in... Oh, and the van is lovely—kudos to her!"


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