Ditch the expensive birthday parties: 6 ways to make real memories for your kids.
There's one main thing kids want us to spend on them, and money isn't it.
Julie is a 33-year-old mom of two living in San Diego. She found herself stressing out about what to do for her 3-year-old's birthday.
Then it hit her: Did she care about lavish birthday parties when she was young? The answer was a resounding no.
"I can't recall any birthday party I had growing up," Julie told Upworthy. "My fondest memories of my childhood came from the little things my parents did with me."
So Julie scrapped her plans for a large birthday party and put on a small family gathering instead. Her daughter still had a blast.
In parenting, it's easy to forget — it's the small things that matter. So how can we create those "small moments" that our kids will treasure?
We talked to parents all over the country and asked them what they do to build these small happy moments with their kids, without the stress. Here are six simple, but cool ways that real parents have found to create fun, lasting memories with their kids:
1. Turn car time into karaoke time!
Even a routine car ride can build great memories. Just ask Alonzo from Massachusetts who looks forward to that time with his 13-year-old daughter.
Alonzo's daughter caught him by surprise with a quick selfie before their daily drive started. Photo from Alozno, used with permission.
"When I pick her up from school, I make a point to listen to her music as we drive around and I even get into it with some singing of my own," he said. "But most importantly it's a time for us to talk openly like daddy-daughter buddies. We both truly enjoy that time together."
2. Take a picture of your child once a week. Then make a 52-photo slideshow (it will blow your kids' minds.)
A dad named Brian shared this, and it's a simple (but brilliant) activity to do for anyone who is expecting to have a baby soon. Just be sure to have your camera ready. Here's how to start:
- Pick a day of the week
- On that same day, take a picture of your child every week for a year
- Label the pictures, "Week 1, Week 2, etc."
- Put them all in one folder on your phone or computer
"By the time the child reaches his or her first birthday, there will be 52 photos that you can play on a slideshow for friends and family," Brian said. "Watching the transformations unfold week-to-week during the first year of life in a slideshow format is truly breathtaking."
Here's an adorable example of the subtle transformations our babies can make. GIF via stutterfly29/YouTube.
Of course, parents will take countless photos of our kids throughout the course of their lives, but Brian believes that having photos designated for this particular project is totally worth it.
3. Celebrate even bad weather, with one-on-one time.
Erin, a mom of four boys in Connecticut, believes in spending quality alone time with each of her kids to help create memories. Even if it means getting dirty in the process.
Erin gives her son the green light to get dirty on rainy days, and he loves it. Photo from Erin, used with permission.
"Whenever it rains, I take my 20-month-old outside, strap on rain boots, and stomp in the mud puddles," she said. "That's our way to spend time together and it makes him so happy. Rainy days can create the best memories."
4. Plan a "Daddy Camp-In."
Camping is a lot of fun, but what about camping indoors? Amy, in Georgia, explained how her husband Sam treats their two daughters to a fun adventure they call "Camp-In."
Amy snapped a photo of the end of the daddy-daughter camp-in. Photo from Amy, used with permission.
"Sam will prepare dinner, organize an indoor hike around the house where the kids will see strategically-placed stuffed animals masquerading as wild animals, tell funny stories, and sleep in one of the kids' rooms," Amy said.
"Our daughters love it and they talk about it for days before and after each one."
5. Make a family time capsule for the year.
Seven years ago, Ed in California started a tradition where each family member keeps mementos of special events throughout the year. It could be anything from a photo to a movie ticket stub.
At the end of each year, the family goes through all of it together and it becomes a fun tradition to relive those moments often forgotten about during the hustle and bustle of daily life.
But then they do something else.
Ed's daughter is preparing to bury her family's latest time capsule. Photo from Ed, used with permission.
"We place all of the year's memories into a time capsule and bury it with the agreement that we won't dig it up for 10 years," Ed said. "Since we started this seven years ago, we are due to dig up our first one three years from now. My daughter says we can never move because of the capsules!"
It's a great idea for turning memories into traditions.
6. Start the ritual of "Magical Mornings."
Aimee is the founder of FamilLeague and lives the life of a busy entrepreneur. Even though she's always on the go, she always takes time to curl up in bed with her 5-year-old daughter Athena before each day begins.
"We call it 'Magical Mornings' where we lay in bed and talk about what we're happy and grateful for," Aimee said. "It allows us to be clear in thought and in a good mood before the chaos of the day begins."
The life of an entrepreneur doesn't stop Aimee from enjoying some quiet time with her daughter Athena. Photo from Aimee, used with permission.
The best news? We don't have to break the bank to create amazing memories with our kids. We don't need extravagant parties or expensive gifts.
As a matter of fact, many of the best things we do with our kids don't cost a dime. Because in reality, the main thing our kids want us to spend on them is our time. And that's the way it should be.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."