Chinese teacher shares 18 American names with delightfully awkward meanings in Mandarin
So sorry, Nelson and Dylan.

Some American names sound really funny to Mandarin speakers.
When you see a list of the year's most popular baby names, what you're really looking at are the most common baby names in a specific country or culture. If you live in the U.S., you likely know a whole lot of kids named Olivia, Emma, Liam, and Noah, but if you live in Thailand or Kyrgyzstan or Botswana, you probably don't.
Simply saying common names in different countries can sometimes result in hilarity. A name that sounds beautiful and has a lovely meaning in one language might sound odd and mean something very different in another. For instance, Odd is a common name in Norway, but it sounds…well, odd to and English ear. The former president of Vietnam had the last name Phuc, which surely led to some awkward moments for Americans who had to address "President Phuc." (The "u" is pronounced more like the "oo" sound, but if you'd never heard it said, you wouldn't know.)
Chinese language and culture instructor Dr. Candise Lin is sharing American names that sound funny to Mandarin speakers because of what they mean when pronounced with Chinese phonetics, and it's a hoot.
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1. Robin (pronounced Luo ben) = Running Naked
2. Robinson (pronounced Luo ben shen) = God of Running Naked
3. Nelson (pronounced Niao shen) = God of Pee
4. Benson (pronounced Ben shen) = God of Dumb
5. Mason (pronounced Mei shen) = God of Beauty
6. Nicholas (pronounced Ni kou si le) = You Are So Stingy
Surprised Nicolas Cage GIF Giphy
7. Isabella (pronounced Yi sheng bei la) = The Doctor Got Arrested
8. Dylan (pronounced Di neng) = Low IQ
9. Nancy (pronounced Nan si) = Difficult to Die
10. Robert (pronounced Luo bo) = Carrot
11. Ashley (pronounced Ao si ni) = Wear You Down to Death
12. Logan (pronounced Nao geng) = Brain Stroke
13. Tiffany (pronounced Ti fa ni) = Kick Your Ass
Tiffany Darwish GIF by New Kids On The Block Giphy
14. Martha (pronounced Ma hua) = Fried Dough Twist
15. Jeff (pronounced Jie fu) = Brother-in-law
16. Daniel (pronounced Da niu) = Big Shot
17. Gordon (pronounced Gou dan) = Dog Balls
18. Melanie (pronounce Mei ren li) = Nobody Cares
A few of these names actually seem pretty rockstar in Mandarin. Mason as "God of Beauty'? Nothing wrong with that. Nancy being "Difficult to Die?" Heck yeah. But some are particularly unfortunate. God of Pee? Yeesh. Low IQ? Ouch.
Of course, the names in Chinese are based on transliterations that aren't exact. English and Mandarin have different sounds, so many of them are just the closest approximations that there are in terms of pronunciation. (But then along comes Tiffany, kicking ass as clear as day.)
Chinese characters aren't phonetic in the way that English letters are.Photo credit: Canva
Naturally, people who have some beef with people who bear some of these names are having a heyday, with comments like "Ashley actually makes a lot of sense," or "Not Gordon Ramsay actually being called Dog Ballz Ramsay." But mostly people are just delighted to see how names they see as totally "normal" mean hilarious things in Chinese.
As one person wrote, "This was awesome and about time! Chinese names get a lot of humor attention in English circles. It’s nice to know English names can also be a bit ridiculous in Chinese." It's likely that many of us have never thought about how American names might sound in other countries.
But names not translating well is truly a universal phenomenon, and as long as we're all laughing about it together, finding the funny when things—even our names—get lost in translation can be a fun way to connect across cultures.