Women shared how they make sexist men explain their nasty jokes, and it's so satisfying
Making them sit in the discomfort of their own filth is an excellent way to shut that garbage down.

Women share the times they've mad men explain their sexist jokes
Ask almost any woman about a time a man said or did something sexually inappropriate to them, and she'll have a story or four to tell. According to a survey NPR published last year, 81% of women report having experienced sexual harassment, with verbal harassment being the most common. (By contrast, 43% of men report being sexually harassed. Naturally harassment toward anyone of any sex or gender is not okay, but women have been putting up with this ish unchecked for centuries.)
One form of verbal sexual harassment is the all too common sexist or sexual "joke." Ha ha ha, I'm going to say something explicit or demeaning about you and then we can all laugh about how hilarious it is. And I'll probably get away with it because you'll be too embarrassed to say anything, and if you do you'll be accused of being overly sensitive. Ha! Won't that be a hoot?
Perhaps women's familiarity with such episodes is why writer Heather Thompson Day's tweet about asking her male boss to explain a sexual joke to her has had such an enormous response. Day told a story of working at a radio station when she was 19 when her boss, who was in his mid-40s, made an inappropriate comment:
"When I was 19 my boss said I should be a phone sex operator & laughed.
I said 'I don't get it'
He said 'it's a joke'
I said 'explain it to me'
& that's how I learned that once sexual harrassers have to explain why their inappropriate jokes are funny, they stop laughing."
When I was 19 my boss said I should be a phone sex operator & laughed.
— Heather Thompson Day (@HeatherTDay) November 8, 2019
I said “I don’t get it”
He said “it’s a joke”
I said “explain it to me”
& that’s how I learned that once sexual harrassers have to explain why their inappropriate jokes are funny, they stop laughing.
Day's tweet has been shared more than 130K times. Other women also chimed in with similar stories of stopping sexist men in their tracks with their responses to inappropriate jokes.
My first internship was in a very professional company. We learned direct questions quickly stop inappropriate workplace comments. Direct eye contact:
— LiteFanFun (@LiteFanFun) November 9, 2019
1) I don't understand -- explain it to me.
2) Help me to understand -- repeat it.
3) Can you provide an example?
It works.
YES! At my first full time job, my new boss called me and then made the comment that I had the voice of a phone sex operator. I responded, “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never called one.” His stammering and backpedaling still bring me joy over 20 years later.
— New Year, Same V (@scribblesnbitsV) November 10, 2019
I did the same thing to a guy who harassed me on a train. He said some rather disgusting things and I looked him dead in the eyes and said "tell me how you think that's an appropriate thing to say. Explain it to me" he was not happy and got real quiet so I could leave.
— Chess! ♿️ 🏳️⚧️ (@Captain_Ogilvy) November 8, 2019
What's baffling is that some men may think that women actually might respond positively to such jokes. One woman simply responds to random harassers with "Please tell me about the last time this worked on an actual woman for you." Works every time.
My personal favorite to dudes who try to chat me up in parking lots, etc. is to ask, “Please tell me about the last time this worked on an actual woman for you.” They IMMEDIATELY run away.
— hashtagkaren (@HashtagKaren) November 9, 2019
Of course, sometimes it takes more than just a no nonsense response to get some dudes to back off.
Was lifeguarding in college and had to watch the water while construction workers built a filming tower in the water. Kept pestering me about “mouth to mouth” and I kept answering with questions straight from the book.
— Leighann Strollo (@LeighannStrollo) November 8, 2019
RELATED: Emma Watson launches hotline that provides women legal advice on workplace sexual harassment
Sometimes it simply takes repeatedly being called out, especially if a man holds a position of power.
My boss made a joke about recognizing my mom because he probably had sex with her in college. I asked him to explain the joke, in an open office, while making direct contact with the COO, his boss. It took four more months and many incidents for him to be fired.
— Ellen Kaulig (@ekaulig) November 9, 2019
As one woman pointed out, it might take the threat of being documented to put an end to it. (Or, you know, actually documenting it can do wonders as well.)
Excellent. I was around 19 when a boss said something over the top and I replied with “I’m going to put that in my log” and he said “what log?” And I said “my harassment log. I write it all down”. And then it all just sort of stopped and I found out he didn’t sleep for 3 days 😂
— Denike (@de_nike) November 9, 2019
Several men jumped into the conversation with words of support. Because of course plenty of men are bothered by sexist "jokes" as well and understand that genuine jokes can be explained without hesitation or embarrassment.
If a thing is genuinely a joke it would be easy to explain.
— dan sheppard (@ashenfaced) November 9, 2019
Men can also use a similar approach when confronting their friends, acquaintances, and colleagues when inappropriate comments or jokes come up.
In fact, Heather Thompson Day said it was her dad who originally instructed her on how to respond to men's inappropriate comments. "Don't laugh," he told her. "Ask them to explain the joke. They will stop making them." Well done, Dad.
I’m not as cool as it sounds. My dad told me when i got the job “if any men say inappropriate comments, don’t laugh. Ask them to explain the joke. They will stop making them.” So Dad’s for the win
— Heather Thompson Day (@HeatherTDay) November 8, 2019
It was also pointed out that this approach works with "jokes" that are racist, homophobic, or otherwise harmful as well. When people have to explain their prejudice and bigotry, they usually can't.
Pro tip: this also works on race "jokes"
— Corey (@HowlFromtheCore) November 8, 2019
I've had several coworkers over the years say, "you know how THOSE people are..." expecting me to agree. So I always say, "no, how ARE they?" Please, explain your racism/bigotry/prejudice to all of us.
— Erin McCord (@erinmcfavorite) November 8, 2019
And then there's always the next level "You remind me of someone heinous" response, which may be a bit brutal, but is sometimes necessary to drive home the point.
I had this happen with someone that thought it was cute to talk about 'coons. Once my "confusion" about racoons annoyed him, he finally dropped the N word, I gave my standard reply: You remind me of my grandfather. He liked to use that word, and he also like to rape little girls.
— Kristy (@llamalluv) November 8, 2019
People in marginalized groups have had to put up with hurtful jokes for far too long. Asking people to explain them and making them sit in the discomfort of their own filth is an excellent way to shut that garbage down.
This article originally appeared on 11.13.19




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It's a choice.
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All of this will be ours one day. Yay.
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TV for waking. TV for sleep.
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Mom is totally humiliated after her kindergartner tells the teacher what she does for work
She was clearly mortified.
A mom is embarrassed by her child.
One of the great joys and stresses of parenting is that you never know what will come out of your child’s mouth. When you have young, inquisitive kids, they can say really inappropriate things to people without realizing they were being rude or possibly offensive. TikTok influencer Aurora McCausland (@auroramccausland), known for her DIY cleaning tips, recently told a funny story on the platform about how her son believes she makes a living. The problem was that she heard about it from her child's teacher.
Mom is embarrassed by her child
“The other day, I went and picked my five year old up from school and when I get to his classroom his teacher pulls me inside and says, ‘Hey, today he wanted to tell us about what Mommy does for work and said that Mommy makes videos in her bedroom but only when I'm [he’s] not at home,” McCausland recalled.
Given her body language while telling the story, McCausland was clearly mortified after hearing what her child said to his teacher. It makes it look like she may be posting videos to adult sites while her child is at school, which most people wouldn’t want their son’s teacher to know about.
The good news is that another teacher was there to clarify the young boy's comments by adding, “I think she makes TikTok videos.” The uncomfortable situation was a great invitation to chat with her son about what she does for a living. “So I have to have a conversation with my son about how he tells people what I do for work,” she finished her video.
The funny video went viral, earning over 1.7 million views on TikTok, and inspired many people to share the times when their children had funny ways of explaining their careers. The commenters were a great reminder to parents everywhere that if your child says something embarrassing, it's ok, just about everyone has been through it.
Moms share their most embarrassing moments
A lot of parents spoke up in the comments to show McCausland that she's not the only one to feel embarrassed in front of her child's teacher.
"My son told everyone that we were homeless (because we don’t own our home, we rent)," KBR wrote.
"I work in ortho.. my daughter told her teacher I steal people's knees bc she heard me talking to my husband about a knee replacement," Aingeal wrote.
"My son told a teacher we were living in our car over the summer. Camping. We went camping," Kera wrote.
"In kinder, my son thought Red Bull was alcohol and told his teacher I liked to have beer on the way to school," Ashley wrote.
My niece told her teacher her mom and dad work at the wh*re house. They work at the courthouse," Ellis wrote.
"My husband works as a table games dealer at a casino. Kindergartener, 'Daddy's a Dealer!' We now start every school year clearly stating he works at the casino," CMAC
"My son said we lived in a crack house…There’s a tiny chip in the wall from the doorknob," KNWerner wrote.
"My dad is a hospice chaplain and officiates a lot of funerals. My son and nephew were asked by their preschool teacher if their papa was retired or had a job. They told her his job was to kill people," Tiffyd wrote.
"My son said "my dad left me and I'm all alone" to a random person at the zoo. My husband was just at work," Shelby.
"I am now in my 70s. In my gradeschool, during the McCarthy era, I told my teacher my dad was a communist. He was an economist," Crackerbelly wrote.
"In Kindergarten, my daughter told her teacher that mommy drinks and drives all the time. Coffee. From Starbucks," Jessica wrote.
"Well I once told my kindergarden teacher a man climbs over our fence to visit my mom when her husband is not home... It was a handy man who came to fix gates when they were stuck," Annie wrote.
Ultimately, McCausland’s story is a fun reminder of how children see things through their own unique lens and, with total innocence, can say some of the funniest things. It’s also a great warning to parents everywhere: if you aren’t clear with your kids about what you do for a living, you may be setting yourself up for a very embarrassing misunderstanding. So, even if you think they know what you do ask them as see what they say, you could save yourself from a lot of embarrassment.
This article originally appeared last year and has been updated.