upworthy
More

This lieutenant general's incredible speech against racism is a must-watch.

After black cadets were targeted with racial slurs, Lt. Gen. Jay Silveria took a bold stand.

U.S. Air Force Academy superintendent Lt. Gen. Jay Silveria has responded to an incident of racial harassment on campus with a powerful message.

Days after news reports surfaced about five black cadets being targeted with racial slurs on dorm room message boards, Silveria delivered a speech to roughly 5,500 cadets, airmen, and academy staff. He set out to make it clear that what happened was unacceptable and, in the process, demonstrated how leaders should address acts of hate aimed at marginalized groups.  

In his five-minute speech, Silveria highlighted diversity as a source of power and strength within the academy and urged cadets to uphold its values.

Race relations in the U.S. aren't exactly in a great place right now, and too often, bigotry is going unchecked. Racism isn't an issue we can afford to ignore, even if it means having some very uncomfortable conversations.

[rebelmouse-image 19532781 dam="1" original_size="450x236" caption=""You should be outraged not only as an airman, but as a human being." All GIFs from KOAA5/YouTube." expand=1]"You should be outraged not only as an airman, but as a human being." All GIFs from KOAA5/YouTube.

"We would be naive to think that we shouldn’t discuss this topic," Silveria told the crowd. "We would also be tone-deaf not to think about the backdrop of what’s going on in our country. Things like Charlottesville and Ferguson, the protests in the NFL."

[rebelmouse-image 19532782 dam="1" original_size="450x236" caption=""This is our institution and no one can take away our values."" expand=1]"This is our institution and no one can take away our values."

"We come from all walks of life," he said, "that we come from all parts of this county, that we come from all races, we come from all backgrounds, gender, all makeup, all upbringing. The power of that diversity comes together and makes us that much more powerful."

It's in closing that Silveria made his most powerful point, asking the cadets in the room to pull out their phones so they could capture it on video.

"Just in case you're unclear on where I stand on this topic," he went on (emphasis added), "I'm going to leave you my most important thought today: If you can't treat someone with dignity and respect, then you need to get out."

[rebelmouse-image 19532784 dam="1" original_size="450x236" caption=""If you can't treat someone with dignity and respect, then you need to get out."" expand=1]"If you can't treat someone with dignity and respect, then you need to get out."

"If you can't treat someone from another gender, whether that's a man or a woman, with dignity and respect, then you need to get out. If you demean someone in any way, then you need to get out. And if you can't treat someone from another race or different color skin with dignity and respect, then you need to get out."

We still have a long way to go. This is just a start.

To be sure, there were plenty of valid criticisms of the speech. Jason Johnson at The Root criticized Silveria for "removing a 'problem' as opposed to eradicating it," and pointing to a number of fairly recent incidents that suggest the military doesn't have a handle on equality quite yet.

"It’s akin to finding out there is a serial rapist on campus and saying, 'This campus has no place for rapists, they must go!'" wrote Johnson. "Thanks, but maybe you should prosecute them too?"

With those points in mind, it's on all of us to push back on bigotry, discrimination, and marginalization in society. It's on all of us to help make the world a more just place for people of all backgrounds to live, work, and thrive.

Watch Silveria's speech below. It's worth seeing in its entirety.

Joy

A woman accidentally said, 'Love you!' to an important client. His response was perfect.

He even followed up with a heartwarming e-mail.

Photo credit: Canva

Saying "I love you!" by accident is one of life's most cringe moments.

For many of us, telling our friends and family that we love them is second nature. Every time someone leaves the house, "Love you!" Before bed at night, "Love you!" Getting off a call with them, "Love you!"

That's all well and good until that sweetly ingrained habit spills over into your work life. Especially when you're talking to an important client, where the boundaries of professional conduct are particularly important to uphold. (Do you feel the cringe coming?)

I Love You Elf GIF by MOODMANGiphy

A woman shared an oh-so-human story about absent-mindedly telling a client she loved him, and his thoughtful response has people cheering.

"Accidentally said 'Love you!' at the end of a call with an important client yesterday," wrote a Reddit user. "I heard him giggle as I hung up, and I was mortified. Today, I saw he emailed me this:"

The email began, "Hey—Just wanted to say that I didn't mean to laugh at you when you accidentally signed off on our call with a 'love you.' I just found it funny because I've definitely done that before, and I know it happens."

Okay, phew, he understood that the laughing was mortifying and he wasn't bothered by the "love you." But then he added the absolute best thing he could have said about the situation:

"I'm glad you have enough love in your life that that response comes naturally. If anything, you should be proud of that. :)"

Then he mercifully resumed their professional conversation. "Have a great weekend! We'll follow up about my call with Chris on Wednesday, as discussed."

embarrassing story, saying I love you on accident, workplace stories, professional communication"Love you!" Oops.Photo credit: Canva

He didn't just ignore the elephant in the room and let it hang over her like an awkward cloud. He put her at ease, letting her know he's done it before and it happens and is no big deal. But then he took it a step further, adding a deeper human layer to the moment by acknowledging the fact that the words flowing so automatically and easily for her meant she was surrounded by love.

The client's emotional intelligence and thoughtful response warmed people's hearts.

"What a great and respectful response. He is completely right, it’s such a beautiful thing to have that much love in your life that it comes out naturally."

"You work with good people."

"Honestly, this made my day 😂 It's so wholesome how they responded. Shows that a little kindness (even accidental) always leaves a good impression!"

"Such a classy response. Made you feel at ease while staying professional and moving the conversation forward."

"Green flags from that client."

Green Flag GIF by The Last Talk ShowGiphy

People also shared their own similar experiences with blurting out accidental "love you"s and it was a veritable love-fest:

"I told my supervisor I loved her at the end of our weekly touch point call - she chuckled and said she loved me too. We shared a good laugh. I am happy to see empathy from a random human, it is much needed."

"I said 'love you' to my new boss at labcorp when she called me to tell me I passed my drug test. Same thing, hanging up, not thinking, she gave me my results and my start date to come in for orientation and I ended the call with 'bye love you!'"

"Back in the day I straight up called one of my bosses mom. It was so embarrassing I almost died."

"A surprising number of people have done this at least once. Happens when you’re distracted and tired. My ex husband (a prosecutor) accidentally ended a phone call with 'I love you' when talking to a rural county sheriff in the middle of the night."

Embarrassed Hide GIF by florGiphy

"I had a coworker say 'love you,' just as we were about to hang up. There was an awkward pause, clearly neither of us had hung up, then he added, 'Don’t tell my wife.' We both laughed and finally disconnected."

"I did that with my ex husband last Thursday, we both burst out laughing lol. Happily we get along great and he and his fiancée are attending my wedding next week."

"Was on phone with my boss right after he had called his wife. He ended the call with "love you." Had so much fun telling him that while I cared for him, I didn't think it was love."

Embarrassing moments don't have to ruin your day—in fact, when handled like this client, they can turn into beautiful moments of human connection. This kind of relatability, empathy, and emotional intelligence makes us all feel better about our shared humanity, oopsies and all.

From Your Site Articles
humanity
Education & Information

The 4 unspoken rules of conversation we all follow without thinking about it

They're known Grice's Maxims, and it's obvious when someone violates one of them.

Photo credit: Canva

How do we understand what we mean when we converse?

Talking to one another is one of the most basic things we do, and yet human communication is actually pretty weird when you think about it. We can't speak to everyone because none of us knows every one of the world's thousands of languages. We can say the exact same words but change their meaning simply by changing our tone of voice. Some people are avid, smooth conversationalists, and others are so anxious about social interactions that we need therapy to help us get through them.

Human conversation is complicated, no doubt. But oddly, there are some rules we all adhere to when we talk to one another that most of us aren't even aware of. These rules make conversations make sense and allow us to understand inferred or implied meanings, but we follow them so subconsciously that we probably don't recognize that we're doing it.

conversation, grice's maxims, communication, talking to someone, communicationWe follow Grice's Maxims without realizing it most of the time.Photo credit: Canva

These "rules" are known as Grice's Maxims, named for linguist and philosopher Paul Grice, who detailed these rules. Under the umbrella of the Cooperative Principle—meaning our shared understanding that conversation is meant to be a cooperative endeavor in which we strive to communicate effectively—Grice explained four maxims we all follow:

1. QUANTITY (be informative)

The quantity maxim leads us to be as informative as possible while not giving more detail than is needed.

2. QUALITY (be truthful)

The quality maxim means we tell the truth by default, not providing information that's false or lacking evidence.

3. RELATION (be relevant)

The relation maxim compels us to say things that are pertinent or related to the conversation.

4. MANNER (be clear)

The manner maxim means being brief and orderly in what we say, avoiding obscurity or ambiguity.

Tom Scott explains Grice's Maxims and gives examples of how they help us understand one another.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

For example, we use the term "vegan burgers" but not "vegan tomatoes" because "vegan" is not a necessary descriptor for tomatoes, which everyone knows are always vegan. That's Grice's first maxim of Quantity—give as much information as is required, but no more. Breaking this rule sounds strange.

We can see Grice's Maxims at work in the simple exchange in which one person says, "I'm out of petrol," and the other person says, "There's a garage down the street."

"Without context, just using the super literal, logical meaning of those sentences, there's no connection there," Scott explains. "Those are just two factual statements. But if you assume I'm trying to follow the cooperative principle, then you can automatically work out a lot more."

out of gas, out of petrol, need gas, gasoline, gas canA brief conversation about running out of gas illustrates Grice's Maxims.Photo credit: Canva

For instance, the relation maxim leads us to the conclusion that the garage probably has petrol. The quantity maxim means that "there's a garage down the street" is all you need to say to imply that you can push your car down the street, buy gas, and solve the problem of being on empty (a problem which was also implied in the first sentence, as Scott points out). The quality maxim assumes that both statements are true, and due to the manner maxim, we can assume that "garage" is just a dialectical term for a gas station.

Then Scott explained that the maxims can be violated or flouted. Violating a maxim is basically just lying and trying to deceive, but flouting these maxims can be done to say something without really saying it. He gave the example of a recommendation letter that is too brief and not informative enough, which implies that the person writing it has nothing to really recommend about the person.

What's fun about Grice's Maxims is the comedy that happens when the cooperative principle is not assumed and statements or questions are taken literally. Think of all the literal quips from "Airplane" or "The Naked Gun."

Quote I Am Serious GIF by Top 100 Movie Quotes of All TimeGiphy

People in the comments shared examples of exchanges that are taken literally instead of understanding the implied meaning, and it's hilarious.


"I'm out of petrol"

"That's good, it probably wasn't safe to be in it."


"Would you like something to drink?"

"What are my options?"

"Yes and no."


"Coffee or tea?"

"Coffee"

"Wrong, it's tea."


"I'm seeing stars."

"Did you see a doctor?"

"No, just stars."


"Hello, my name is Kevin without 'M'."

"But there is no 'M' in Kevin."

"That's what I said."


"What is your main flaw?"

"I correctly interpret the semantics of the questions, but I ignore their essence."

"Could you give an example?

"I could."


Some people pointed out that learning about these maxims could help neurodivergent people have easier conversations. Even though Scott says they aren't meant to be prescriptive, "do this" kinds of rules, knowing that they are inherent in social exchanges, is an important piece of the effective communication puzzle.

Isn't being human just fascinating?

From Your Site Articles
communication
Pets

Woman builds an elaborate hotel in her yard for stray cats to stay cozy through the winter

People are calling it "Hotel Catifornia" and "The Fur Seasons."

Images via Canva

A woman in China provides a cozy home for stray cats in her neighborhood.

When winter comes around, people may wonder how stray animals stay warm and safe. Stray cats in particular are highly adaptable creatures and their home is the great outdoors, so most of the time there's not much that people need to do to protect them. But when temperatures dip to dangerous levels, caring humans naturally want to make sure strays have a place to go to get out of the harsh elements.

One woman has taken that desire to a whole new level with an elaborate cat apartment she built for the many stray cats in her neighborhood. We're not just talking about a shelter–it's like luxury hotel living for her feline friends. The apartment has multiple rooms, cushy blankets that get taken out and cleaned, and even a temperature-controlled water source so they're always able to find drinking water in frigid temps.

Check this out:

The woman who built the apartment actually lives in China and was sharing her videos on TikTok, but it seems her account has since been deactivated. This hasn't stopped people from talking about her and her impressive project, though. This thread on TikTok contains updates about the cat hotel from people finding and reposting the adorable story.

Welcome to the Meowtel Catifornia

Of course, the clever hotel jokes and puns started rolling in first thing:

'Welcome to the hotel catifornia."

"Such a lovely place."

"They can check out any time but they won't ever leave ^^"

"I prefer Hotel Calicofornia."

"Meowriott."

"Given my skill, mine would be more like Meowtel 6."

"Pawliday Inn.'

"The Fur Seasons."'

"Meowne Plaza."

People loved seeing the care and ingenuity she put into the "meowtel," as well as how happy the cats seem with the arrangement. In fact, some people were sure their own house cats would move out just to go live in this kind of cat commune.

"My cat just looked at me and sighed…"

"All the neighbours be looking for their cats and they’ve bailed to live at the kitty motel."

"They’d pack their little bags and move in without a second thought."

"They wouldn't even wait to pack their bags."

"Alright Carol it’s been real but we’re gonna head out. Found a great deal on a luxury apartment so yanno… take care."


Cats live where they want when they want

cats, stray cats, pet cats, felines, kittiesKitten snuggled in a person's arms. Image via Canva.

Those people may have been joking, but several others shared that their cats really did ditch them to go live with neighbors who had more desirable living situations.

"I’ve had two cats do this. One was annoyed at our second dog’s puppy energy so she moved in with an older lady a street over. We used to see her all the time until she passed. The other missed our kids being little so she moved next door where there’s a little girl. We talked to both neighbors and said if they get sick of them to let us know and we’ll take them back but both lived the rest of their lives with their new families."

"One of our cats moved next door because he loves children and wanted to be with the little girl next door. Because it’s a very small village, he goes to the school most days to wait for her and they come home together. School is 3 buildings away."

"We had a cat do the same thing about 20 years ago. She hated the barks of our new puppy and would put her paw on his mouth to try and stop it. One day, she slipped outside and I found her a month later, two streets over, hanging with a couple who didn’t have a dog. They said she just showed up at the door and moved in. I gave them all her cat food and hope she had a nice quiet life."

Is it a bad idea to feed and shelter stray cats?

cats, stray cats, feeding cats, feral cats, shelter catsCats eating kibble on the street.Image via Canva

People have differing opinions about whether it's good to feed stray cats or not, as cats can cause problems for local wildlife and it's not great to encourage an increasing stray cat population. According to Catster, in the United States alone, an estimated four billion birds and 22 billion mammals (such as mice, voles, rabbits, and shrews) are killed annually by both domestic and stray cats. In Canada, cats are the number one of killer of birds, killing "between 100 and 350 million birds every year." These numbers are staggering, but the bird and small mammal populations can be protected if stray cats are cared for responsibly: namely, spaying and neutering those in your area to cut down on the population and finding homes for those who are friendly and comfortable with humans.

According to the Feral Cat Coalition of Oregon, here are the best practices for feral and stray cats:

- Spay/neuter to prevent additional litters

- Find homes for friendly cats

- Feed outdoor cats on a schedule

- Remove food & dishes when they are done eating

- Pick up scraps and keep the feeding area tidy

- Provide fresh water

- Provide a warm place for the cats to sleep

So, go ahead and care for those kitties and keep them warm through the winter—just make sure they can't make any more kittens.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles
animals
Community

Woman on flight sees something wrong with seatmate, stands up to clear the aisle for final goodbye

There's still good in the world.

Screenshots courtesy of Hailey Sand

Woman clears aisle on flight to help passenger see dying grandfather

Even when your life feels like it's falling apart, other people's lives are still going on as normal. Unfortunately, the world doesn't stop because tragedy strikes someone's family, but recently on a United Airlines flight, one woman had a pretty close equivalent. Hailey Ann Sand recently took an unexpected trip after finding out her grandfather was being placed on comfort care as he was nearing the end of his life.

Sand knew she wanted to be there for his final moments, so she booked a last-minute flight and headed out. What was supposed to be a smooth trip wound up being stress-inducing due to the flight landing behind schedule. The airline was aware that some passengers had connecting flights taking off in a few minutes so they made the announcement asking for passengers to extend courtesy to those with tight connections.

airplane, flight airport, airplane passenger, sky, commercial jetblue and white airplane in the sky during daytime Photo by Avel Chuklanov on Unsplash

Sand was one of those with an extremely tight connection when the flight landed in Denver, but as airline passengers often do, many stood up, not allowing others to get off the plane first. It was then that the grieving granddaughter was reminded that there are still good people in the world. The woman shares in a video that she was in seat 31A and another woman, whom she didn't know was in seat 31B noticed the urgency on Sand's face prompting the woman to inquire if something was wrong. After Sand explained that she was in a hurry to catch her next flight so she could be there with her grandfather in his last moments, the stranger sprung into action.

Sand's connecting flight was scheduled to depart in 25 minutes but the aisle was completely blocked. That is, until her seatmate got everyone to clear it.

airports, airplanes, denver, foot traffic, takeoff, airport gatePeople walking inside an airport. Photo by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash

"You didn't owe me anything but you stepped out in the aisle and you announced very loudly to everybody to please step aside so that I can get off the plane in a timely manner," Sand says hoping her words reach the woman who helped her. "We landed 25 minutes before my next flight was supposed to depart, and it was a 22-minute walk across the Denver airport. We flew into gate 73ish, and I was flying out of 12. I had to walk all the way across. I just want you to know that I made that flight and I got to be there last night. And I got to tell my grandfather how much I loved him and he got to tell me back and he understood what I was saying."

The grieving granddaughter was able to be there along with the rest of her family until her grandfather passed. She continues the video with an emotional thank you to the stranger saying that her act of kindness changed her life, hoping the video would reach the kind stranger. While the video didn't reach her, the video did reach United Airlines causing several flight attendants and crew to reach out to Sand. Through some detective work, they connected her with a relative who connected her with the stranger, Katie.

@haileyannsand @United Airlines ♬ original sound - Hailey Ann

Turns out Katie wasn't just an average passenger, she's a hospice nurse who deeply understands a family's need to be together during someone's final hours. Sand tells Upworthy it look less than 24 hours to track Katie down and get in touch with her. While the flight they shared was from San Antonio to Denver, Katie just happened to be traveling from work and isn't from either city and Sand lives in San Antonio but is from Washington. The chance seating assignment seemed meant to be.

Once Sand reached her family she left her chance encounter with a hospice nurse to feel the warmth and comfort of the hospice nurses at Samaritan Hospital in Moses Lake, Washington, "They did an excellent job for my grandfather in his final moments but also my whole family in helping us through a difficult time."

@haileyannsand @United Airlines ♬ original sound - Hailey Ann

Sand shares that her grandfather was "a husband of 62 years, a father, a grandfather, a great-grandfather, a brother, a friend, a mentor. He served in the Army and worked his whole life as a farmer. He was the most hardworking man. He loved to travel and has been all over the world. He was very involved in his community, and the world would be better with more people like him in it."

While the woman hoped the video would reach the passenger that helped her on the plane, she likely didn't expect it to reach over 9 million people but since it has she hopes people leave her video with a message of kindness.

"I hope this story continues to resonate with people and inspire them to love each other more, and think twice when the flight crew asks you to stay seated so that people who have a tight connection can get off the plane. You never know why someone is traveling and it’s not always for a happy reason."

From Your Site Articles
united airlines flight
Pets

Couple includes 19-year-old dog in emotional wedding ceremony days before crossing rainbow bridge

"As much as it's our celebration, it's a celebration of Jack as well so everyone we love can say goodbye."

jamierossweddings/Instagram (used with permission)

Senior dog Jack is part of his owners' wedding ceremony days before he will cross the rainbow bridge.

Dogs are more than pets—they are family members. They are there for big life events and the mundane days. For couple Ryan and Libbee, their wedding day would not have been complete without their 19-year-old dog, Jack. It was a bittersweet day of celebration—and one of Jack's last with them.

Wedding videographer Jamie Ross (@jamierossweddings) shared in an emotional video on Instagram the story of how Ryan and Libbee chose to honor their pup Jack on their big day, allowing family and friends to say their final goodbyes (and "good boys") at their ceremony.

"I don’t usually get emotional at weddings these days—I stay pretty focused on filming, but this story got me," he captioned the video. "When I arrived on the wedding day, it was immediately clear how much Jack meant to his Ryan & Lib, and I knew I had to capture whatever I could."

In the video, it begins with bride Libbee sharing about Jack. "So Jack, he's 19. He turned 19 three weeks ago. And he's going to go to Heaven on Monday. So this weekend, as much as it's our celebration, it's a celebration of Jack as well so everyone we love can say goodbye to him," she says. Scenes from the wedding day are played as the couple cuddle and kiss Jack together.

She explains that Jack traveled everywhere with them all over the world. "I feel like he's touched a part of everybody's lives in his 19 years, so celebrating him," she added.

In another clip, Ross captured the couple's vows, which included a special anecdote about Jack. Groom Ryan says, "And even though our trio is about to become a duo, I know it won't be long until we are filling the backseat again," he says through tears.

Groom Ryan (@ryandyer21) shared more about what it meant for Jack to be a part of their special day in the video's comment section. "@libbeedyer and I are so blown away by all the love and amazing comments from so many people! I’m sure Jack would be absolutely thrilled by all the attention. We hope he’s watching us from up above while working through an endless pile of bones 🦴 🤍," he wrote.

Following the wedding, Ryan shared a post following up on Jack's final journey. "Earlier today we had to say the hardest of goodbyes to our beautiful boy. Over 19 years of the most amazing memories that we’ll cherish forever. So incredibly grateful for the time we had but it will never be enough," he wrote.

In the carousel, he shared a photo of them holding Jack's paw in his final moments. "Navigating through this next phase of life won’t be the same without you. You’ll always have a piece of our hearts 💔 Rest easy our forever best friend ❤️," he added.

The couple's emotional wedding video got an overwhelming response from viewers in the comment section. "Crying 😭 this is such a beautiful tribute to Jack. Rest easy sweet boy 🤍," one wrote. Another shared, "This has ruined me 💔🥺🥺 what a special family ❤️." Another viewer commented, "Jack said: my life is complete, these two are going to do so well together and they will have lots more pups in their life, approved and sent by me 🥹🥹🥹🥹."

From Your Site Articles
wedding
Trending Stories