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heart attack

A woman upset she's not talking to her friend.

A woman’s social media post begs the big question: How far should someone go to put themselves out for a friend after they experience a traumatizing situation together? It all began when a woman made friends with her neighbors, Eli and Leo, a same-sex married couple. However, she began to distance herself from Eli after a while because he was “selfish” and “not a very good friend.”

One day, as she was leaving the house to go shopping, she received multiple calls from Eli that she didn’t pick up. He then texted her, “Leo just passed. Please answer.” She rushed home and saw an ambulance in front of the apartment building. When she got to Eli’s apartment, she saw Leo lying dead on the floor with Eli hugging him, sobbing inconsolably.

“They were watching TV when Leo suddenly got up and said he has pain in his chest, then collapsed. Paramedics came and pronounced him dead. They said we now have to wait for the police,” the woman wrote on Reddit. “We were waiting like this on the floor—Eli sobbing and hugging Leo’s body, and me hugging Eli—for almost 2 hrs. Then police came, and we sat on the couch right in front of Leo for another few hours. I did my best to stay calm and collected and help Eli. Many hours later, they took Leo away.”

ambulkance, heart attack, health care, emergency, ambulance driverThe back doors of an ambulance.via Canva/Photos

Eli asked the woman to call and tell Leo’s parents, who didn’t know that he was gay or married. They didn’t believe her. Eli’s cousins came over for a while and then left. “I stayed till late night, ordered food, cleaned, etc. We watched TV under the same blanket I used to cover Leo’s body. I didn’t sleep that night,” the woman continued.

Over the next few days, Eli kept calling the woman, asking her to come over, but she told him she was “sick” because “the thought of entering that apartment makes me shake.” The incident was so traumatic for the woman that she has made an appointment to see a therapist. “I feel deeply affected by what happened. I keep seeing flashbacks. I’m afraid to leave my apartment because I’m afraid to run into Eli. I was already depressed and I’m so so lonely,” she wrote. “I feel so guilty for ghosting Eli in this horrible situation when his whole world collapsed.”

upset woman, sad woman, trauma, woman staring at floor, brunette, woman on couchAn upset woman with her thoughts.via Liza Summer/Pexels

She asked the online forum if she was in the wrong for ghosting Eli, and just about everyone supported her choice.

“No, dear, [it’s not your fault]. This was a catastrophe, and you are in crisis and need help. What happened to you was very traumatic, and you are traumatized; you need to find help from your loved ones (or professionals, if those resources are available to you) to heal from this. You can't draw water from an empty well, and in my opinion, you should only consider assisting Eli in ways that contribute to or at least don't completely derail your recovery. You've already been more help to them than anybody else has. You can't keep anybody warm by setting yourself on fire. I'm so sorry this happened to both of you, what a horrible, tragic experience and loss,” the most popular commenter wrote.

“His husband just died, and you were kind enough to help him through the immediate aftermath. It does suck that he doesn't have a support system he needs, but you don't either,” another commenter wrote.

via Canva/Photos

The only person with a problem with how the woman handled it believes that she needs to give Eli a reason why she isn’t responding to him. “[You’re in the wrong] for ghosting him without explanation. That only makes things worse. You are emotionally drained and do not have the bandwidth to support him. That is completely fine. You just need to communicate that fact to him,” they wrote.

Ultimately, the commenters believe the woman did the right thing to stand by Leo’s side, even in the most disturbing situations, and she deserves praise for her kindness. In the comments, the woman wrote that she has no support, so the positive response, even by a Reddit forum of strangers, has to have made her feel some relief at a time when she is so traumatized.

You don't need your own mannequin to learn CPR at home.

When 24-year-old Damar Hamlin collapsed on the football field after a tackle on live television, millions of people were concerned. As the Buffalo Bills' quick-thinking assistant trainer began to perform CPR, many feared they had witnessed his death.

Thankfully, CPR began immediately, which likely saved Hamlin's life and may have prevented long-term damage from lack of oxygen to the brain and other vital organs. CPR saves lives. According to the American Heart Association, receiving CPR immediately in an out-of-hospital cardiac arrest event doubles or triples a person's chance of survival.

The key is acting fast when a person shows signs of cardiac arrest, and the key to acting fast is to know what you're doing. That's why everyone should know how to perform CPR.


There are classes you can take to learn CPR and other first aid skills, but in the era of the internet, it's not necessary to take a whole class to get a handle on the basics. While it's certainly nice to have a CPR "Annie" mannequin to practice on, that's also not necessary—you can practice CPR on pillows right at home. You can even make your own CPR mannequin at home using a T-shirt, a two-liter bottle, some rubber bands and some stuffing.

CPR isn't all that complicated and it doesn't take very long to learn. If you've never learned CPR or you need a refresher, there are plenty of videos out there to learn from. However, many of them include a lot of superfluous fluff. Cincinnati Children's Hospital has a very clear, no-nonsense video that shows you how to perform CPR on an adult in less than two minutes.

(Note: This video is for CPR on people ages 12 and older. Cincinnati Children's has similar videos for infant CPR and for CPR for children ages 1 to 12.)

One tip shared by the American Heart Association is to think of the beat to the Bee Gees' "Stayin' Alive" to get the right speed and rhythm while doing CPR. May seem silly and punny, but it's easy to remember.

Also, the reason the person in the video points and says, "You! Call 911!" is because yelling out "Someone call 911!" isn't as effective as telling a specific person to do it. Everyone thinks somebody else will call, so assigning a person is wise.

If you're curious about why and how CPR works, this video offers a cool 3D illustration of exactly what's happening when you do compressions. It also shows what happens if you don't pump hard or fast enough, if you do it too fast or if you don't allow the heart to refill between pumps. Visualizing what's happening inside might help you remember CPR specifics, since the goal is to get blood to pump from the heart to the brain.

It's well worth the few minutes to familiarize yourself with how to perform CPR and do some pillow practice at home. With the availability of AEDs (automated external defibrillators) it's a good idea to familiarize yourself with how to use an AED as well. These machines generally have voice commands that tell you what to do as soon as you turn it on, but always good to know what to expect beforehand.

Most of us hope we'll never be in a situation where someone's life is in our hands, but if it does happen, we definitely want to be prepared.

In the early morning hours of Feb. 26, filmmaker Kevin Smith tweeted a photo from his hospital bed. Apparently, he'd had a "massive" heart attack.

After the first of two scheduled comedy sets at Glendale, California's Alex Theatre, Smith could tell something was wrong. On Facebook, he wrote that he felt nauseous. "I threw up a little but it didn't seem to help," he wrote. "Then I started sweating buckets and my chest felt heavy."

He didn't know it at the time, but he was having a heart attack. After making his way to a nearby hospital, he learned that he had a 100% blockage of his left anterior descending (LAD) artery. Had he not gotten medical attention when he did, he could have died.


He continued his post by reflecting on life, death, what he appreciated and what he'd miss out on if his time came:

"[E]ven as they cut into my groin to slip a stent into the lethal Widow-Maker, I was filled with a sense of calm. I’ve had a great life: loved by parents who raised me to become the individual I am. I’ve had a weird, wonderful career in all sorts of media, amazing friends, the best wife in the world and an incredible daughter who made me a Dad. But as I stared into the infinite, I realized I was relatively content. ... But generally speaking, I was okay with the end, if this was gonna be it. I’ve gotten to do so many cool things and I’ve had so many adventures — how could I be shitty about finally paying the tab. ... I faced my greatest fear tonight... and it wasn’t as bad as I’ve always imagined it’d be. I don’t want my life to end but if it ends, I can’t complain. It was such a gift."

Friends and well-wishers offered thoughts, support, and gratitude.

"Clerks" star Brian O'Halloran said, "Don't silence the Bob yet," a nod to Smith's character, Silent Bob.

TV personality Chris Hardwick and actor Josh Gad offered well wishes and a speedy recovery.

Rosie O'Donnell, having experienced the same kind of blockage five years ago, offered solidarity with Smith.

Heart attacks aren't always big, obvious, dramatic events. As was the case in Smith's situation, they can be sneaky. That's why it's important to spot the warning signs.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention lists five things to keep an eye out for when it comes to heart attacks:

  • Pain or discomfort in the jaw, neck, or back.
  • Feeling weak, light-headed or faint.
  • Chest pain or discomfort.
  • Pain or discomfort in arms or shoulder.
  • Shortness of breath.

Other possible symptoms include indigestion, heartburn, nausea and vomiting, and extreme fatigue. Women are a bit more likely to notice and experience shortness of breath, nausea, and back/jaw pain. The CDC recommends calling 911 if you notice those symptoms in yourself or someone else around you and says that medical professionals will be best suited to assess the situation through tests.

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Cigna 2017

Beatriz Martinez was exercising at the gym one day when she suddenly felt unusually breathless and a little dizzy and got a pain in her stomach.

She stopped and took a minute to breathe, which made her feel a little better. But the pain was still there. Maybe she had pushed herself too hard and pulled a muscle?

"I thought it was the exercises, a muscle ache," says Beatriz. So, she decided to call it quits for the day and drove home.


Beatriz Martinez in her home in Miami. Image via Beatriz Martinez, used with permission.

She made lunch, washed her hair, and went about the whole day like everything was normal — even though the dull ache in her stomach never really went away. That evening, she and her husband even went to a party. But at that point, the pain had gotten worse, and by the time they went home, she was vomiting and the pain had spread to her chest.

They went straight to the emergency room.

At the hospital, they ran some tests — and Beatriz was told she was having a heart attack.

One of the most important arteries in her heart, the left anterior descending (LAD), was completely blocked. "That I'm alive, it's like a miracle," she says.

She had a stent put in and she was in recovery at the hospital for six days before she was able to go home again.

Beatriz's story is not uncommon.

Heart disease is actually one of the most common causes of death for women in the United States. But in some cases, it can be prevented — which is why preventive health care is so important.

Image via iStock.

"What creates problems for people are the things that they don't know and therefore can't change," says Dr. Nicholas Gettas, a family doctor who is now a medical officer at Cigna.

With health issues, such as heart disease, it is the cumulative effect over time of risk factors, such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or diabetes, that can cause a problem — like a heart attack. That’s why it is important to be informed about your four health numbers: blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar, and body mass index (BMI).

Image via iStock.

Even if you eat well and exercise, it's still worth getting checked. "You might see a person who is thin, who exercises, whose diet appears to be great ... [but] there is some genetic issue that means that their cholesterol is still high," says Gettas. In fact, he adds, he had a patient with a similar experience.

"The earlier you identify, the earlier you can moderate and modify the issue and the more likely you are to get a better long-term result," he says.

According to the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), if everyone got their recommended preventive care, we could probably save 100,000 lives in America every year.

Beatriz's experience taught her a lot about the importance of keeping an eye on her health.

Even at the hospital, when everyone was rushing around to treat her, Beatriz says she couldn't help but think they were overreacting because she still didn't think it was that serious.

"I never thought that I had anything wrong with my heart," Beatriz says. She had always thought of herself as healthy: She was active, she exercised regularly, and she wasn't overweight.

Image via iStock.

She was also unaware of something very important: The symptoms of a heart attack are often very different for women than they are for men.

Most of the heart attack indicators we hear about are actually what happens when men have a heart attack — such as the left arm going numb or the obvious severe chest pain. In women, heart attack symptoms can be more subtle, as Beatriz experienced:

  • The pain isn't always in the chest. It can be in the neck, jaw, upper back, or stomach region.
  • Sometimes it just feels like a bad case of indigestion.
  • Other times it just causes shortness of breath — which is sometimes mistaken as a panic attack — or dizziness.
  • It can also cause nausea and vomiting.

This means women are more likely to ignore their pain or downplay the symptoms, causing a dangerous delay in treatment that can be deadly. In fact, according to the Mayo Clinic, women often show up in emergency roomsafter heart damage has already occurred.

Image via iStock.

But there are some warning signs — Beatriz just didn’t know to look for them.

"Before I had the heart attack, I felt breathless a lot and had pain in my jaw, but I didn’t pay attention to that because I didn’t know that was symptoms of your heart," she says. There was also a history of heart disease in her family, she adds, "but I never thought I was going to have it in my life. I never thought it would happen to me."

Beatriz wants other women to know the risk factors for heart disease before a health incident makes them all too aware of it.

She has gotten involved with the National Coalition for Women with Heart Disease and has become a WomenHeart Champion. She wants to spread awareness about heart health and the symptoms of heart disease to women across the United States. And she wants to encourage them to take control of their health before they ever get sick.

Image via Beatriz Martinez, used with permission.

It has been almost five years since Beatriz had her heart attack, and she says she's come a long way in terms of taking control of her health.

She started on medication and a special diet immediately after the heart attack. And now, not only does she go to the gym, but she also does aerobics three times a week, and she works with a personal trainer three hours a week. With the help of her doctor, she also keeps close tabs on her four health numbers. And now that Martinez has taken control, her health has never been better.

"I went to my cardiologist [recently] and he said that now, my cholesterol numbers are excellent, my blood sugar is excellent — my numbers are excellent," she says.

Beatriz says that the one thing her heart attack taught her was that she can’t become complacent about her health. "You can die if you don't take care of yourself," she says.