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Student Suspended For Bringing Joy To School Is Totally Redeemed By Local Reporter
Bryan got suspended for trying to have a little harmless fun. See how a news reporter made everything right.
01.18.13
Joy
Know someone doing major good in the world? Share their story and win $1,000 for charity with Upworthy & P&G’s #ActsOfGood Awards
Do good. Win big for the charity of your choice.
05.12.23
True
In a flurry of heavy headlines that constantly inundate our feeds, acts of good connect us back to our faith in humanity. Witnessing just one person go out of their way to make the world a better place is a powerful healing salve against apathy. It reminds us all of what we are collectively capable of creating. This is the philosophy that Upworthy wholeheartedly believes in, hence why we’re always sharing uplifting stories of people giving kindness, generosity and support to their fellow humans.
That’s also why we’re partnering with P&G, the maker of some of our favorite household products like Tide, Always and Pampers, to bring you the 2023 Acts of Good Awards, and celebrate the individuals who are giving back and strengthening their communities.
Think of it like the Oscars of kindness. Half as formal but twice as feel-good.
Besides providing the world with brands we know and trust, P&G is a company doing good acts, whether it’s supporting hygiene education, helping struggling communities gain access to basic necessities or delivering essentials for families impacted by disasters.
Here are just a few of the ways P&G's Acts of Good make meaningful impact:
- Helping millions of girls not miss school due to a lack of access to period products with Always #EndPeriodPoverty.
- Serving over 90,000 families affected by emergencies and disasters through the Tide Loads of Hope mobile laundry program.
- Closing America’s smile gap by providing oral care, products and education to millions with Crest and Oral-B.
Between May 12 - June 4, 2023, in partnership with P&G, Upworthy will be accepting nominations that shine a light on individuals who go above and beyond to help others in their community through their own #ActsOfGood. Be it the superstar volunteer or the person who rallies the neighborhood to support the local food bank. Odds are you probably know someone who is a perfect candidate. You might even be one yourself!
Based off a simple criteria—elevated effort, unique impact and how those actions reflect Upworthy and P&G’s commitment to strengthen communities and inspire positivity and inclusion—three winners will be selected to receive a $1,000 donation to the non-profit organization of their choice.
Plus their good work will be celebrated on Upworthy’s social media. We know that #ActsOfGood are their own reward, but it’s even better when that kindness gets amplified.
Care to submit yourself or someone you know? Visit upworthy.com/actsofgood and fill out the form for a chance to win and do even more good.
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Pop Culture
Teacher's funny lesson explaining Gen Z terms turned into a brilliant history lesson
His teaching style totally slaps.
05.19.23
@larrylexicon/TikTok
This was a great moment. No cap.
What started out as a lighthearted class presentation quickly turned into a fabulous humanities lesson for all.
A teacher under the pseudonym Larry Lexicon has 1.8 million followers on TikTok, where they tune in to catch the funny-yet-inspirational interactions Lexicon has with his students.
Recently, Lexicon had his class rolling with his meticulously crafted PowerPoint explaining what certain Gen Z words mean.
"All year long I've been listening to you and making a list, which I've compiled here for you — the Gen Z Term Dictionary," he told the class, saying that they should speak up if anything was inaccurate.
Here’s what he came up with.
He took “bruh,” (aka the “staple of their generation”) to simply be the alternative for “bro,” except that “bruh!” can also be used as an exclamation. That was correct.
Although the word “Rizz,” was fairly new to him, he also correctly guessed that this was short for “charisma,” and thus refers to someone who has the ability to charm.
“You can use it in all kinds of ways. Like I’m the Rizzard of Oz!” he joked.
“Bussin” he took to mean that something was good, particularly food. Also correct. He even knew that “bussin’ bussin’” meant that something was really good. Clearly, Lexicon had done his homework.@larrylexicon Let me know if there are more terms I need to add to my list! #larrylexicon#doyourbuckingvocab#genzterms#teacherlife#highschool#teachersoftiktok#school♬ original sound - Larry Lexicon
However, a few people pointed out in the comments that many terms have roots in African-American Vernacular English (AAVE). So in his third TikTok, Lexicon chose to make some revisions, and explained to the class why those revisions were important.
"I know you think you came up with a lot of these words, but you didn't, and they've been around for a long time," Lexicon said, noting how parts of AAVE language are at first “looked down upon by society as uneducated or thuggish” yet nonetheless sneak into daily vocabulary through pop culture.
"What happens is it makes its way into like, white suburbia, and you get a middle-aged dorky white dude mislabeling it just for a whole generation as a term dictionary," he said. "And it ends up erasing the importance of it."
@larrylexicon Food smacks, music slaps. Got it. #larrylexicon#aave#genzterms#teacherlife#teachersoftiktok#school#revisions#slaps♬ original sound - Larry Lexicon
Lexicon then admitted that it was a mistake made by his own ignorance, which was okay, because he was able to take feedback, learn and act on it to grow.
“Being ignorant’s OK, but being willfully ignorant and not doing anything about it — not so OK."
Viewers who have been following Lexicon’s series applauded him for taking the time to make even a silly little powerpoint into an important conversation for everyone involved.
“I love how you’re learning it and then teaching it! This is education!” one person wrote.
“The fact that you came back and showed HOW TO LEARN and that it’s OK NOT TO KNOW but not ok to be willfully ignorant,” added another.
“This is a hell of an example for your students,” read the top comment.
In case you’re curious, here are all the words gathered so far for the newly re-titled "AAVE-inspired Gen Z term dictionary."
- “Delulu”— delusional.
- “Eepy”— really sleepy.
- “Be so for real”— “Are you serious?”
- “Witerawy”— “Literally,” but with emphasis.
- "Baddie" — "A pretty girl, typically very curvy and independent." But can also be a guy.
- "Gyatt" — A substitute for “gosh darn!” typically used in response to seeing a baddie.
- "Getting sturdy" — A dance usually used when winning, kind of like a touchdown dance.
- "Bet" — Another way of saying "OK" or "alright." Likely a shortened version of “you bet.”
- "Slaps" — a verb for when a song is really good. Or food. Maybe? Debate’s still out on that one
- "Cap" — A lie.
- "No cap" — The truth.
- “On god”— undeniable truth.
Lexicon plans to add new words each week throughout the remaining weeks of school. If you’d like to follow along, he can be found on TikTok.
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Sponsored
ACUVUE launches a new campaign to inspire Gen Z to put down their phones and follow their vision
What will you create on your social media break? Share it at #MyVisionMySight.
05.04.23
True
If you’ve always lived in a world with social media, it can be tough to truly understand how it affects your life. One of the best ways to grasp its impact is to take a break to see what life is like without being tethered to your phone and distracted by a constant stream of notifications.
Knowing when to disconnect is becoming increasingly important as younger people are becoming aware of the adverse effects screen time can have on their eyes. According to Eyesafe Nielsen, adults are now spending 13-plus hours a day on their digital devices, a 35% increase from 2019.1. Many of us now spend more time staring at screens on a given day than we do sleeping which can impact our eye health.
Normally, you blink around 15 times per minute, however, focusing your eyes on computer screens or other digital displays have been shown to reduce your blink rate by up to 60%.2 Reduced blinking can destabilize your eyes’ tear film, causing dry, tired eyes and blurred vision.3
ACUVUEhas been encouraging people to take time off social media and use their newfound time to see their vision, whether that's becoming a makeup influencer, focusing on athletics or embracing their unique talents.
Upworthy caught up with influencer, YouTube star and contact lens wearer Amber Alexander to talk about how she balances her social media use. Recently, she took a social media break while visiting her sister.
“I was able to slow down time and take in each moment,” she told Upworthy. “Being on social media 24/7 always puts me in a very overwhelmed and anxious state of mind, so it was so refreshing to put my phone down and see life from a clearer perspective. Every moment felt more meaningful.”
“As soon as I put my phone away, I was able to really connect with my family and cherish our time together. I saw how my peace of mind improved when I took a break from social media,” she continued.
Alexander understands how social media can have a huge effect on her self-esteem and productivity.
“Scrolling through social media often leads people to compare their own lives, achievements, and physical appearance to people they see online,” she told Upworthy. “It is unrealistic and discouraging to see so many attractive, successful people online 24/7. Also, being on social media takes up so much time from our day that could be used socializing with real people, going outside, and working towards meaningful goals.”
ACUVUE is challenging young people to take social media breaks to pursue their purposes, visions, missions, and dreams through its Where Vision Meets Sight campaign. But the campaign from ACUVUE is about a lot more than just personal development. They’d like you to inspire others by sharing what you’ve done during your social media break by using #MyVisionMySight.
Get inspired and learn more on ACUVUE’s Where Vision Meets Sight page.
1COVID-19: Screen Time spikes to over 13 hours per day according to Eyesafe Nielsen estimates, published 3/28/20, https://eyesafe.com/covid-19-screen-time-spike-to-....
2Tsubota K, Nakamori K. Dry eyes and video display terminals. N Engl J Med. 1993;328(8):584. doi: 10.1056/NEJM199302253280817.
3Patel S, Henderson R, Bradley L, et al. Effect of visual display unit use on blink rate and tear stability. Optom Vis Sci 1991;68(11):888-892. doi: 10.1097/00006324-199111000-00010.
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Joy
10 things that made us smile this week
We've got a sweet little roundup of joy for you.
05.20.23
This week's best smile-worthy finds from around the internet
Hey, all! It's time for our weekly round-up of joy, where we gather up 10 of the happiest, funniest and most beautifully touching finds from around the internet and deliver them to you all in one spot.
This week we have some examples of particularly lovely humans going out of their way to lend a hand to others, a couple of cute puppers engaging in silly antics, some adorable baby goats dancing in slow motion, a delightful Monty Python-themed prom proposal and more. If you could use a little dose of joy—and who couldn't?—we've got you covered.
Enjoy!
1. 'Heaven's Receptionist' is on TikTok and she's helping people cope with loss in a beautiful way
@taryntino21 Replying to @jennifertavernier13 for you and your mama ❤️ she absolutely qualified for angel premium plus btw! #heaven #receptionist
Taryn Delanie Smith first created Denise, a New Yorker receptionist working in heaven, as pure comedy. After one heartfelt request, however, everything changed and the videos are bringing people comfort in their grief. Read the full story here.
2. Kid has a plastic owl lawn ornament instead of a stuffed animal because kids are the best
When my daughter was about this age, she had a pretty standard baby doll, but she named it "Horse." Tiny humans are the best humans.
3. Perfectly delivered Month-Python themed 'promposal' might just be the best ever
The paper crowns, the fact that they're in normal clothes except for the red robe and goofy wig, the little detail of the kid being lifted off the horse, the scroll simply reading "Prom?"—it all harkens back to a simpler time before viral when kids would do stuff like this just for the fun of it. Even the girl's dad gave some chuckles of approval. Read the full story here.
4. Puppy gives his point of view on the day of his adoption and it's adorably giggle-worthy
@annamolinstinct I didnt even cry ONCE. #labpuppy
First of all, Gilligan is the cutest name for a yellow lab puppy. Second of all, getting his POV is too sweet. Read the full story here.
5. Family helps man who is afraid to go down an escalator and you might want a tissue for this
The "Don't worry, I'm Batman" got me. What a lovely, lovely interaction on all fronts.
6. People stopping to dance in a 'Dance Here' circle is just a pure serotonin boost
So simple, yet so effective. Let's put dance circles all over every city. Read the full story here.
7. Dog disrupts a soccer match to play with the ball and…well, just watch
\u201cA playful pup has stolen the show during a Premier Division football game in Chile.\n\n#9News\u201d— 9News Australia (@9News Australia) 1684228057
That doggo was determined to have that ball. And everyone was so chill about it. And seeing that player haul the huge pup off the pitch…it's all just so delightfully civilized.
8. Neighbor hears a woman's husband left her and gets emotional as he offers to cut her lawn
Maybe he has some experiences from his past that make this situation particularly emotional or maybe he's just a feeler. Either way, what a sweetheart.
9. Baby goats jumping in slow motion to Tchaikovsky might just be the cure for what ails you
It's like a little baby goat ballet! And the folks behind it say these goats can teach us all a valuable life lesson. Read the story here.
10. A good reminder to inspire and be inspired because we can all benefit from one another's positive energy
\u201cThe inner child within us is ageless.. \ud83d\ude05\u201d— Buitengebieden (@Buitengebieden) 1684147043
Hope that helps you skip through the weekend with a little extra pep in your step!
If you'd like to get posts like this one delivered to your inbox so you don't have to go searching for them, sign up for our free newsletter, The Upworthiest, here.
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Internet
Someone asked for the 'unwritten rules' poor people live by and the answers are revealing
"Saving bacon grease because butter is expensive."
05.19.23
Unwritten rules poor people follow that may be surprising
Fantasizing about what it's like to be rich is something plenty of people do, especially if you'd classify yourself as poor. People make lists of the things they'd buy or businesses they'd start if they won the lottery, even if they don't play. But being poor comes with ingenuity.
Because you have little access to funds, which equates to little access to necessities, you get creative in ways to stretch a dollar. It also becomes glaringly obvious when someone didn't struggle with poverty by what they say or the things they do. Things that seem normal to them seem strange to you or vise versa.
In a compilation video posted on YouTube by TikTok News, a man wrapped in a blanket poses the question, "What's an unwritten poor person rule that rich people wouldn't understand." The replies didn't disappoint and if you grew up poor some of these will have you nodding your head in agreement. If you didn't, then you may be in for a bit of a surprise.
The very first video response to the question immediately shows that rich people live vastly different lives than the average person. A woman who works near a hair salon reveals that the majority of her customers that stopped by her place of employment didn't even own shampoo and conditioner.
Wild, right? It's not that they don't wash their hair, it's just that they go to the salon every couple of days to get it washed and styled. Contrast that to the original guy mentioning poor people adding water to their shampoo to make it stretch and its a bit flabbergasting.
In a different response to the question, one man pointed out the multi-purposing that happens to keep costs down. He explains that ovens are used to heat homes, grocery bags are used as trash bags and he's wearing his grandfather's hand-me-down pants.
"I still have my grandfather's old pants, I wear them now to this day, right. You never want to get rid of clothes," the man says. "Also, gift cards. If you ever wanted a free subscription to anything and they need a card on file, you put an old gift card in so that when they try to charge the card, they don't charge the gift card."
The entire video is full of things people may not realize poor people do to get by. Like the man who said when his friends offer to treat him to a restaurant, he only orders what he can afford just in case they decide not to pay.
"Saving bacon grease, because butter is expensive, so you save bacon grease to cook eggs and put on top of biscuits before you put them into the oven," another person said.
Watch the video below, maybe you'll learn some new tricks to stretch your paycheck or you'll get a glimpse into the lives of people living on a tight budget.
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Joy
A couple in their 50s live permanently on a cruise ship because it's cheaper than a mortgage
They hope to spend around $36,000 a year.
05.19.23
via Pexels
The Emperor of the Seas.
Imagine retiring early and spending the rest of your life on a cruise ship visiting exotic locations, meeting interesting people and eating delectable food. It sounds fantastic, but surely it’s a billionaire’s fantasy, right?
Not according to Angelyn Burk, 53, and her husband Richard. They’re living their best life hopping from ship to ship for around $100 a night, depending on the cruise. "Cruise costs vary quite a bit, our goal is to average about $100 per night, for the couple, or less across and entire calendar year," Richard told Upworthy.
The Burks have called cruise ships their home since May 2021 and have no plans to go back to their lives as landlubbers. Angelyn took her first cruise in 1992 and it changed her goals in life forever.
“Our original plan was to stay in different countries for a month at a time and eventually retire to cruise ships as we got older,” Angelyn told 7 News. But a few years back, Angelyn crunched the numbers and realized they could start much sooner than expected.
“We love to travel and we were searching for a way to continuously travel in our retirement that made financial sense,” she said. They looked into deals they could find through loyalty memberships and then factored in the potential sale price of their home and realized their dream was totally affordable.
The rough math makes sense. If the couple hits their goal of spending $100 per night to live on a cruise ship, that’s $36,500 a year. Currently, the average price of a home in Tukwila, Washington—where the couple has a house—is about $607,000. Let's say you moved there today, put down 20% and financed the rest, the mortgage would cost you around $44,000 a year.
Plus, on a cruise ship, the couple doesn’t have to pay for groceries.
The Burks are able to live their dream because they’ve spent a lifetime being responsible. “We have been frugal all our lives to save and invest in order to achieve our goal,” she says. “We are not into materialistic things but experiences.”
Angelyn says that cruising takes the stress out of travel. “It is leisurely travel without the complications of booking hotels, restaurants, and transportation while staying within our budget,” she told 7 News. The couple travels lightly with just two suitcases between them and if they need anything, they just buy it on the ship or in the next port.
The one thing to consider before embarking on a never-ending cruise is COVID-19. The coronavirus is easily spread in close quarters and a cruise ship that recently docked in Seattle had 100 people on board who tested positive for the virus. The CDC recommends that people get vaccinated before going on a cruise and that immunocompromised people should consult with their physicians before traveling.
Richard told Upworthy that he believes COVID-19 safety is still very important and has had both his shots and a booster. "I would suggest wearing a mask at all times when out in public no matter whether on a ship, in a movie theater, at a restaurant or even meeting with friends inside or outside," he said.
After leaving their jobs and the mainland behind, the Burks completed a 21-day cruise via the Panama canal. They look forward to a 50-day cruise around the Adriatic Sea, taking in the sights of Europe, as well as a 51-day cruise from Seattle to Sydney, Australia.
The Burks' favorite destinations, no matter how they get there, are Italy, Canada, Iceland and the Bahamas, but their ultimate favorite is Singapore.
Looking to give it all up and go on a permanent vacation just like the Burks? Angelyn has some advice for those wanting to get started.
This article was updated on May 17, 2022, after a conversation with Richard Burk.
The hosts of our podcast, "Upworthy Weekly" had a pretty funny take on the story.
This article originally appeared on 05.11.22
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Pop Culture
A female writer jokingly asked what's a 'universal thing men like' and the responses were hilarious
Here are 19 of the best responses.
05.19.23
via Unsplash
What do these men love?
Writer and illustrator Aubrey Hirsch jokingly asked her followers on Twitter what’s a “universal thing that most men like?” because she was writing a comic and “just realized I don’t actually know any men in real life." The tweet inspired an avalanche of funny responses.
Hirsch is the author of “Why We Never Talk About Sugar,” a collection of short stories, and her work has appeared in The New York Times, Child, American Short Fiction and Time.
The interesting thing about the responses is that they weren’t the typical stereotypes about men. She didn’t get a ton of people talking about sex, sports or toxic masculinity. Instead, there were a lot of folks that mentioned very specific male behaviors as if they were talking about a bizarre species they discovered in the wild.
There were two things that got the most comments on her post. First, men enjoy throwing heavy objects into bodies of water. Preferably, the larger the rock, the deeper the body of water and from the highest vantage point possible.
The other is watching construction sites. Evidently, the phenomenon is so popular in Italy that there is a specific word for this type of person in Italian.
Here are 19 of the best responses to the question, “What’s a universal thing that most men like?”
What\u2019s a universal thing that most men like? I\u2019m making a comic but I just realized I don\u2019t actually know any men in real life.— Aubrey Hirsch (@Aubrey Hirsch) 1647902733
1.
It's so common in Italy that there's a name for ithttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Umarell— James Billot (@James Billot) 1647938793
When asked why men enjoy watching construction sites so much, a poster on Reddit named justdaps had the perfect response. "I just find it really satisfying and interesting to see the process behind things being built," he wrote.
2.
— Daniel Larkin 🌹🏴 (@larkin721) March 22, 2022
3.
Me: Thinking intently trying to come up with a good answer.\nAlso me seeing this tweet: Ooh, yeah, this is a good one. A good deep sounding sploosh with a big splash. Yeah, this is a good one.\nWe aren't complicated.— Michael Miller (@Michael Miller) 1647967400
— Uhtred Ragnarson (@Iskander861) March 22, 2022
Skipping a stone an unexpected number of times on a lake
— Van Weasel (@vanweezer) March 21, 2022
4.
standing while watching tvhttps://t.co/RJBUGPyJBw
— Russ Shanahan (@russshanahan) March 23, 2022
I have seen dudes do this and I have done it plenty of times myself. I usually stand while watching TV when I want to really focus on what’s happening and do not want to be distracted. This usually happens while watching sporting events or the news. It's also a great way to use your body language to let other people know that there is something very important happening on the television.
5.
— Randojoeblow (@randojoeblow) March 21, 2022
6.
My work life got a lot easier when I started saying "I don't know enough to have an opinion on this subject". Life changing.— PG (@PG) 1647907387
7.
A man will buy a knife, and if there is another man, he will ask to hold and admire it for 4 seconds and then give it back and say: "Nice."
— Nathan (Elemeno P) (@realNathanWheat) March 22, 2022
8.
— AreaMantis, Hat Guy 👒 (@AreaMantis) March 23, 2022
9.
If a guy walks under a low hanging sign he will jump up and try to tap the bottom of the sign as he passes.
— Alan Morgan (@lettersndigits) March 21, 2022
Guys like being asked to open jars.
Power tools. Give a guy a new drill and he'll wander around looking for stuff that needs holes.
When we do this 99% of the time we’re pretending that the sign is 10 feet high and that we have the ability to dunk a basketball. There are two types of men, those that can dunk and mere mortals.
10.
Memorizing favorite lines from their favorite movies, then reciting them with their friends (or even strangers) who’ve also memorized them, doing entire scenes. Extra points for using accents. A true source of unparalleled amusement & male bonding.
— cautiously optimistic 🙏🏼✌🏻 (@BethCal84918882) March 22, 2022
As a man, this one is near and dear to my heart. I can’t tell you the number of hours I have spent with my friends just throwing lines from “The Big Lebowski” back and forth.
“Nice marmot.”
“The Dude abides.”
“Say what you want about the tenets of national socialism, Dude. At least it’s an ethos.”
A movie that's running up the ranks of being among the most quotable is another dude buddy pic, "Once Upon a Time ... In Hollywood."
"All right, that's too hot. Anything we can do about that heat?" ... "Rick, it's a flamethrower.”
11.
Right, no-one else has posted this yet, I know my duty: pic.twitter.com/HPwd8qwgUP
— Katie (@ZiziFothSi) March 22, 2022
12.
Talking about their athletic glory days pic.twitter.com/9LmaG2oEiD
— Ben Ross (@BenRossTweets) March 21, 2022
13.
Dining tables made with resin pic.twitter.com/3WQOjEjvcK
— 🌹Robin Isomaa🐕 (@RobinIsomaa) March 22, 2022
14.
Using tie down straps to secure a load in the back of a truck, then twanging the straps and going "that's not going anywhere"
— Gom Jabbarjaw (@SensitiveWigi) March 22, 2022
15.
When my dad had to chainsaw branches off a dead tree, neighbor men just gathered with various saws from all corners of the subdivision. It was like a siren song.
— Liz (@WarmestRegardss) March 21, 2022
16.
Posing for photos while holding fish.
— Jill Filipovic (@JillFilipovic) March 22, 2022
17.
Given a wood fire and a long branch, 100 of 100 men will find a reason to poke the fire every few minutes. Just, you know, to make sure things are burning evenly.
— Patrick Fessenbecker (@pfessenbecker) March 21, 2022
18.
explaining things to women
— ˗ˏˋ Hayley DeRoche ˎˊ˗ (@hayleyderoche) March 21, 2022
Unfortunately, this is true and men do far too much of it.
19.
When shopping at a grocery store, leaning forward with your forearms on the handle of the carriage, while you walk up and down the aisles
— Joe DellaGatta (@JoeDellaGatta) March 23, 2022
Evidently, after reading the responses, Hirsch knew what was going to happen next. No need to feel ashamed about going viral. It just means you created something that people love.
I really feel for the poor Buzzfeed intern currently searching for the perfect gifs to turn this into an article that will support 8 ad spots.
— Aubrey Hirsch (@aubreyhirsch) March 22, 2022
This story was originally published on 3.42.22.
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Health
Want to be an excellent conversationalist? You should know the 43:57 rule.
It works for dating, friendships and business.
05.19.23
via Pexels
A couple havng a fun coversation on a date
When we think about gifted conversationalists, we’re more likely to think of great talkers—those who wow us with their insights, wit, and charm. However, communication experts believe that if you want to make a great impression on someone, knowing how to listen goes a long way.
Those of us who love being verbose may think the world loves us because of how well we can talk. But the person sitting in front of you has a lot to say, and nothing makes them feel better during a conversation than your undivided attention.
As the old saying goes, we never quite remember everything someone has said to us, but we’ll never forget how they made us feel. When you actively listen to your conversation partner, they feel that you value them and are receptive to their needs. It also eases any feelings of conflict or resentment.
After a good conversation, the person you spoke with should think, “Wow, that person really gets me,” instead of, “It was like I didn’t even exist.”
A study from 2016 on sales calls did an excellent job of quantifying the amount we should speak versus listen during a conversation. A marketing director at Gong.io analyzed 25,537 sales calls using artificial intelligence and found that the interactions where the salesperson talked 43% of the time and listened 57% of the time had the highest sales yield.
This finding has come to be known as the 43:57 rule.
Even though the study was conducted on business calls, the reason that it works should apply to social conversations as well. Paying more attention helps a salesperson identify the client's needs and makes them feel comfortable spending money because they know it's with someone who understands their interests.
It’s the same as a social situation where the person you speak to wants to know they are valued and you respect what they say.
This is excellent advice, but sometimes it’s hard to listen when you’re in a fun conversation and have a lot to say. Kate Murphy, author of "You’re Not Listening," says it’s all about staying calm.
"Deep breaths are always good. They're always good. Because it...calms down that fear response. It helps you get more centered,” Murphy told WBUR. “But also to develop your curiosity. Like I said, make it more important to be curious than to be right. And to go into every conversation with that mindset of how could I be wrong? Instead of, let me prove how I'm right.”
“That's how you develop creative ideas. It's how you cooperate. It's how you find middle ground, or at least a peaceable existence,” Murphy added.
The idea that to be a great conversationalist one should master the art of listening is a bit counterintuitive. But, if you feel that you have a lot to say in conversations and can be interesting to listen to, imagine how great that’ll make others feel when you show that you enjoy listening to them as well. It’s a virtuous cycle where everyone wins.
This article originally appeared on 3.7.23
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