Pop-Tarts for President! Because literally anything is possible in America in 2020.

Pop-Tarts has announced that it's considering running for president because WHY NOT.

In a week when everyone from the founder of Starbucks to self-help guru Marianne Williamson has announced they want to run for president in 2020, it's not all that surprising to see that America's favorite toaster strudel is throwing its hat in the ring.

It's not really that far fetched. Technically Pop-Tarts were "born" in America. They're more than 35 years old and have been in the U.S. for more than 14 years. And since corporations are legally considered people, I don't see any reason why Pop-Tarts shouldn't make a go of it.


I mean, those are literally the only requirements to be voted into the most powerful position on the planet, so why the heck not?

Hostess Snacks asked to be Pop-Tarts' running mate, and honestly, it's an unbeatable ticket.

Judging by America's long-standing love affair with sugary, highly processed snacks, Pop-Tarts and Hostess might just be the one combination that could beat every candidate from both major parties.  

Twitter is basically how the presidency is run these days. And with Pop-Tarts' superior grasp of the English language and Hostess Snacks' ability to choose clever memes, who in the field could possibly best them?

It's a new day, America. If 2016 proved anything, it's that literally anyone and anything can become president. Pop-Tarts 2020 is just the natural next step in the evolution of American politics.

Not everyone is convinced of this progress, however. Some would prefer we go back to the days of the monarchy.

One Twitter user, Zed Sez, wrote, "I'm tired of presidents. It's about time we got a king. @BurkerKing"

We're all tired of presidents, Zed. And Burger King—bless them and their social media manager—has heard your call.

Oh Berder King...OOPS...Burger King. Why don't you go ahead and announce your candidacy too? Make Wendy's your running mate and bring a little salty female flavor to the table. BOOM. Now we've got a race!

We should just ditch the Republican vs. Democrat thing and duke it out over Sweet vs. Savory.  

Our politics are ridiculously divided along party lines, but that's nothing compared to the political passion that competing food candidates would arouse in the American people. Imagine how may apathetic non-voters we could get off the couch if the ballot box were offering a choice between sweet and salty snacks.

Seriously, though. Imagine it.

Pop-Tarts/Hostess vs. Burger King/Wendy's would be create the ultimate American election. We could even throw Starbucks/Folger's in there as the "independent" ticket to make it extra interesting. Guaranteed huge voter turnout.

The debates would be delicious. The outcome would be finger-lickin' good. We're already a caricature of ourselves to much of the world; we might as well embrace the stereotype and make junk food and corporate power our official national identity.

It's 2019. Literally anything is possible. What a time to be alive.

More
The Guardian / YouTube

Earlier this month, a beluga whale caught the world's attention by playing fetch with a rugby ball thrown by South African researchers off the waters of Norway.

The adorable video has been watched over 20 million times, promoting people across the globe to wonder how the whale became so comfortable around humans.

It's believed that the whale, known as Hvaldimir, was at some point, trained by the Russian military and was either released or escaped.

Keep Reading Show less
popular
Facebook / Maverick Austin

Your first period is always a weird one. You know it's going to happen eventually, but you're not always expecting it. One day, everything is normal, then BAM. Puberty hits you in a way you can't ignore.

One dad is getting attention for the incredibly supportive way he handled his daughter's first period. "So today I got 'The Call,'" Maverick Austin started out a Facebook post that has now gone viral.

The only thing is, Austin didn't know he got "the call." His 13-year-old thought she pooped her pants. At that age, your body makes no sense whatsoever. It's a miracle every time you even think you know what's going on.

Keep Reading Show less
popular
Instagram / Katie Sturino

Plus-size women are in the majority. In America, 68% of women wear a size 14 or higher. Yet many plus-sized are ignored by the fashion industry. Plus-sized clothing is a $21 billion industry, however only one-fifth of clothing sales are plus-sized. On top of that, plus-sized women are often body shamed, further reinforcing that bigger body types are not mainstream despite the fact that it is common.

Plus-size fashion blogger Katie Sturino recently called out her body shamers. Sturino runs the blog, The 12ish Style, showing that plus-sized fashion isn't – and shouldn't be – limited to clothes that hide the body.

Keep Reading Show less
popular
via Twitter / Soraya

There is a strange right-wing logic that suggests when minorities fight for equal rights it's somehow a threat to the rights already held by those in the majority or who hold power.

Like when the Black Lives Matter movement started, many on the right claimed that fighting for black people to be treated equally somehow meant that other people's lives were not as valuable, leading to the short-lived All Lives Matter movement.

This same "oppressed majority" logic is behind the new Straight Pride movement which made headlines in August after its march through the streets of Boston.

Keep Reading Show less
popular