+
upworthy
More

Pop-Tarts for President! Because literally anything is possible in America in 2020.

Pop-Tarts for President! Because literally anything is possible in America in 2020.

Pop-Tarts has announced that it's considering running for president because WHY NOT.

In a week when everyone from the founder of Starbucks to self-help guru Marianne Williamson has announced they want to run for president in 2020, it's not all that surprising to see that America's favorite toaster strudel is throwing its hat in the ring.

It's not really that far fetched. Technically Pop-Tarts were "born" in America. They're more than 35 years old and have been in the U.S. for more than 14 years. And since corporations are legally considered people, I don't see any reason why Pop-Tarts shouldn't make a go of it.


I mean, those are literally the only requirements to be voted into the most powerful position on the planet, so why the heck not?

Hostess Snacks asked to be Pop-Tarts' running mate, and honestly, it's an unbeatable ticket.

Judging by America's long-standing love affair with sugary, highly processed snacks, Pop-Tarts and Hostess might just be the one combination that could beat every candidate from both major parties.  

Twitter is basically how the presidency is run these days. And with Pop-Tarts' superior grasp of the English language and Hostess Snacks' ability to choose clever memes, who in the field could possibly best them?

It's a new day, America. If 2016 proved anything, it's that literally anyone and anything can become president. Pop-Tarts 2020 is just the natural next step in the evolution of American politics.

Not everyone is convinced of this progress, however. Some would prefer we go back to the days of the monarchy.

One Twitter user, Zed Sez, wrote, "I'm tired of presidents. It's about time we got a king. @BurkerKing"

We're all tired of presidents, Zed. And Burger King—bless them and their social media manager—has heard your call.

Oh Berder King...OOPS...Burger King. Why don't you go ahead and announce your candidacy too? Make Wendy's your running mate and bring a little salty female flavor to the table. BOOM. Now we've got a race!

We should just ditch the Republican vs. Democrat thing and duke it out over Sweet vs. Savory.  

Our politics are ridiculously divided along party lines, but that's nothing compared to the political passion that competing food candidates would arouse in the American people. Imagine how may apathetic non-voters we could get off the couch if the ballot box were offering a choice between sweet and salty snacks.

Seriously, though. Imagine it.

Pop-Tarts/Hostess vs. Burger King/Wendy's would be create the ultimate American election. We could even throw Starbucks/Folger's in there as the "independent" ticket to make it extra interesting. Guaranteed huge voter turnout.

The debates would be delicious. The outcome would be finger-lickin' good. We're already a caricature of ourselves to much of the world; we might as well embrace the stereotype and make junk food and corporate power our official national identity.

It's 2019. Literally anything is possible. What a time to be alive.

Image from YouTube video.

An emotional and strong Matt Diaz.


Matt Diaz has worked extremely hard to lose 270 pounds over the past six years.

But his proudest moment came in March 2015 when he decided to film himself with his shirt off to prove an important point about body positivity and self-love.

Keep ReadingShow less

Millenial names are now "old" names.

You can’t turn back the hands of time and so it’s impossible to avoid being labeled “old” by younger generations, no matter how hard you try. For many of us, our names are tied to the times when we were born and can start to sound really dated, no matter how fashionable they were at one point.

TikTokker Amber Cimotti found this out the hard way when her daughter noted that she has an “old” person's name.

“My daughter told me the name Ashley or Amanda — or my name is Amber — are like old people names and I never thought about it this way,” Amber explained in a video with over 3 million views.

Keep ReadingShow less
via Imgur

Memories of testing like this gets people fired up.

It doesn't take much to cause everyone on the internet to go a little crazy, so it's not completely surprising that an incorrect answer on a child's math test is the latest event to get people fired up.

The test in question asked kids to solve "5 x 3" using repeated addition. Under this method, the correct answer is "5 groups of 3," not "3 groups of 5." The question is typical of Common Core but has many questioning this type of standardized testing and how it affects learning.

Keep ReadingShow less

Woman shows her misbehaving cat to 'the trenches'

You always hear about a "bad dog," giving the furry goofballs a reputation for getting into mischief, but what about bad cats. Not all cats are angels just lounging around the house until someone gives them food while fanning them with a giant palm leaf. Some cats have a sketchy "catigree" and every once in a while they let that wild streak show. When that happens, what is a cat owner to do?

A cat mom that goes by the user name Lambo Licia on Instagram posted a video showing exactly how she gets her cat in line when he's misbehaving. No, it's not with a spray bottle. She shows him what life is like in "the trenches." You know, the area of town where homeless cats roam and cat burglars have real whiskers and thumbs that don't work, leaving a strange fish smell wherever they lurk.

If Scared Straight: Cat Edition was an actual thing, Mega, the orange tabby would be the first to turn his life around. He looks absolutely petrified from all of the unruly cat behavior he sees out the window and his mom's commentary.

Keep ReadingShow less
Science

College students use AI to decode ancient scroll burned in Mount Vesuvius

“Some of these texts could completely rewrite the history of key periods of the ancient world."

When Mount Vesuvius erupted in 79 C.E., it buried entire cities in volcanic materials. While Pompeii is the most famous site affected by the natural disaster, the nearby villa of Herculaneum was also laid to waste—including over 800 precious scrolls found inside Herculaneum’s library, which were carbonized by the heat, making them impossible to open and recover their contents.

Which brings us to the Vesuvius challenge, started by computer scientist Brent Seales and entrepreneurs Nat Friedman and Daniel Gross in March 2023. The contest would award $1 million in prizes to whoever could use machine learning to successfully read from the scrolls without damaging them.

On February 5, the prize-winning team was announced.
Keep ReadingShow less
Keith Allison/Wikimedia Commons

Shaquille O'Neal retired from pro basketball in 2011, but he's still one of the most famous players ever.

Fame comes with a lot of challenges, but it also comes with some pretty obvious perks. There's the money that frequently follows fame, of course, but there's also the special treatment people automatically offer you.

Some famous folks might revel in that special treatment and some might even express gratitude for it. But occasionally, you find a celebrity who refuses it altogether.

Take basketball legend Shaquille O'Neal, for instance.

Keep ReadingShow less