Nobody warned her about her post-baby body, so she spilled the secrets in a hilarious new ad.

This funny new commercial from HelloFlo is so great because it spills the secrets about what really happens after childbirth.

Everybody told her not to do it.

But when it came to spilling the secrets about how most women's bodies react after childbirth, she had to warn her fellow ladies.

A terrifying abyss is the perfect way to put it. Yes, childbirth is one of many biologically intriguing things that a woman's body can endure, but it's also been portrayed as an incredibly mysterious and terrifying experience that's rarely spoken of. As a new parent, I remember my anxiety as I went into labor, thinking, "I just want to make it through to the other side." Even though I'd done plenty of research and talked to friends, I had no real idea what would happen in the delivery room or what it would feel like afterward.


No one usually talks about birthing details. The same goes for what happens postpartum. I'm so glad that someone is finally telling the truth.

HelloFlo, a customized delivery service for fem care products, created a hilarious commercial to promote their "new mom kit," a survival box filled with everything from nursing shirts to nipple balm.


The ad tells the story of a fictional character named Mira, a new mom living in New York who puts on a fake production called "Postpartum: The Musical." The result is a delicious blend of Broadway-styled singing, piano playing, and hardcore Rockette-themed dancing that had me LOLing all the way through.

The commercial opens with a clearly stressed-out new mom intensely staring into the camera. Then, she lifts the veil on body happenings that lots of postpartum women don't know they'll confront, until it's a stone-cold reality.

#1: Your boobs will likely be huge ... and hard.

"I have suction cups attached to my nipples, squeezing milk out of my rock-hard boobs. I fear nothing." — Mira

If you breastfeed, your boobs probably won't feel the same. Initially, you may sympathize more with farm animals, as you lactate, feed, and pump milk into what feels like perpetuity. At the same time, you may also feel incredibly unstoppable, almost like you could feed the world. Just make sure you get some new sturdy bras because, for the first couple of months, you'll even have to wear one to bed.

#2: Your nipples will stretch like elastic, and it'll probably hurt like hell.

No matter how big or small your nips were pre-baby, you may be amazed at how long they can stretch to fit into your baby's mouth or the breast pump. Yes, it's incredible and beautiful that you're able to feed another mini-human, but the process of squeezing a bottle full of milk out of a minuscule hole is NOT cute. At times it can be a downright bloodbath.

"I mean no one ever warned me about cracked nipples. The blood, the pus, the pain. I wanted to stick my nips in a tub of ChapStick and stay there. Forever. ... It sucks. I'm trapped. My ducts are clogged, and my nipples are chapped. Mastitis." — Mira

#3: Prepare for "Vaginal Fallout"

"I expelled that placenta but the fun starts now. Cause, hon, my hoo-ha's who knows how. My perineum's torn, so I sometimes bleed. Plus, I raised this arm, and like, whoops, I peed." — Mira

Sure, it's impossible to think that you could escape the birth process without some sort of bloodshed, but no one ever tells you that it'll be flowing like the River Ganges. And I'm not talking about just a few minutes afterwards; depending on your birthing process, it could last for weeks. A lot of women have to wear disposable underwear, double up on pads, and sit on ice. Not to mention the thought of pooping can be scarier than giving birth all over again.

"Vaginal Fallout, you'll never get it all out. Vaginal Fallout, for what it's worth. There's no laughter after afterbirth." — "Postpartum: The Musical"

#4. Annnnd finally — the "Sex Week" checkup

At your six-week post-baby checkup, the conversation with your doctor may sound a bit like this:

Doctor: "And good news, you can start having sex again."
Mira: "It's basically like being told your war-torn vagina's been cleared for drone strikes!"

Whether you're pregnant or not, a new mom, or have no interest in birthing, "Postpartum: The Musical" cracks open a super normal, yet unspoken, process about what women and their bodies go through. Instead of focusing solely on "the snap back," healing is what we should be talking about more often.

Check out the ad here:

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Should a man lose his home because the grass in his yard grew higher than 10 inches? The city of Dunedin, Florida seems to think so.

According to the Institute of Justice, which is representing Jim Ficken, he had a very good reason for not mowing his lawn – and tried to rectify the situation as best he could.

In 2014, Jim's mom became ill and he visited her often in South Carolina to help her out. When he was away, his grass grew too long and he was cited by a code office; he cut the grass and wasn't fined.

France has started forcing supermarkets to donate food instead of throwing it away.

But several years later, this one infraction would come back to haunt him after he left to take care of him's mom's affairs after she died. The arrangements he made to have his grass cut fell through (his friend who he asked to help him out passed away unexpectedly) and that set off a chain reaction that may result in him losing his home.

The 69-year-old retiree now faces a $29,833.50 fine plus interest. Watch the video to find out just what Jim is having to deal with.

Mow Your Lawn or Lose Your House! www.youtube.com

Cities

The world officially loves Michelle Obama.

The former first lady has overtaken the number one spot in a poll of the world's most admired women. Conducted by online research firm YouGov, the study uses international polling tools to survey people in countries around the world about who they most admire.

In the men's category, Bill Gates took the top spot, followed by Barack Obama and Jackie Chan.

In the women's category, Michelle Obama came first, followed by Oprah Winfrey and Angelina Jolie. Obama pushed Jolie out of the number one spot she claimed last year.

Unsurprising, really, because what's not to love about Michelle Obama? She is smart, kind, funny, accomplished, a great dancer, a devoted wife and mother, and an all-around, genuinely good person.

She has remained dignified and strong in the face of rabid masses of so-called Americans who spent eight years and beyond insisting that she's a man disguised as a woman. She's endured non-stop racist memes and terrifying threats to her family. She has received far more than her fair share of cruelty, and always takes the high road. She's the one who coined, "When they go low, we go high," after all.

She came from humble beginnings and remains down to earth despite becoming a familiar face around the world. She's not much older than me, but I still want to be like Michelle Obama when I grow up.

Her memoir, Becoming, may end up being the best-selling memoir of all time, having already sold 10 million copies—a clear sign that people can't get enough Michelle, because there's no such thing as too much Michelle.

Don't like Michelle Obama? Don't care. Those of us who love her will fly our MO flags high and without apology, paying no mind to folks with cold, dead hearts who don't know a gem of a human being when they see one. There is nothing any hater can say or do to make us admire this undeniably admirable woman any less.

When it seems like the world has lost its mind—which is how it feels most days these days—I'm just going to keep coming back to this study as evidence that hope for humanity is not lost.

Here. Enjoy some real-life Michelle on Jimmy Kimmel. (GAH. WHY IS SHE SO CUTE AND AWESOME. I can't even handle it.)

Michelle & Barack Obama are Boring Now www.youtube.com

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via EarthFix / Flickr

What will future generations never believe that we tolerated in 2019?

Dolphin and orca captivity, for sure. They'll probably shake their heads at how people died because they couldn't afford healthcare. And, they'll be completely mystified at the amount of food some people waste while others go starving.

According to Biological Diversity, "An estimated 40 percent of the food produced in the United States is wasted every year, costing households, businesses and farms about $218 billion annually."

There are so many things wrong with this.

First of all it's a waste of money for the households who throw out good food. Second, it's a waste of all of the resources that went into growing the food, including the animals who gave their lives for the meal. Third, there's something very wrong with throwing out food when one in eight Americans struggle with hunger.

Supermarkets are just as guilty of this unnecessary waste as consumers. About 10% of all food waste are supermarket products thrown out before they've reached their expiration date.

Three years ago, France took big steps to combat food waste by making a law that bans grocery stores from throwing away edible food.According to the new ordinance, stores can be fined for up to $4,500 for each infraction.

Previously, the French threw out 7.1 million tons of food. Sixty-seven percent of which was tossed by consumers, 15% by restaurants, and 11% by grocery stores.

This has created a network of over 5,000 charities that accept the food from supermarkets and donate them to charity. The law also struck down agreements between supermarkets and manufacturers that prohibited the stores from donating food to charities.

"There was one food manufacturer that was not authorized to donate the sandwiches it made for a particular supermarket brand. But now, we get 30,000 sandwiches a month from them — sandwiches that used to be thrown away," Jacques Bailet, head of the French network of food banks known as Banques Alimentaires, told NPR.

It's expected that similar laws may spread through Europe, but people are a lot less confident at it happening in the United States. The USDA believes that the biggest barrier to such a program would be cost to the charities and or supermarkets.

"The logistics of getting safe, wholesome, edible food from anywhere to people that can use it is really difficult," the organization said according to Gizmodo. "If you're having to set up a really expensive system to recover marginal amounts of food, that's not good for anybody."

Plus, the idea may seem a little too "socialist" for the average American's appetite.

"The French version is quite socialist, but I would say in a great way because you're providing a way where they [supermarkets] have to do the beneficial things not only for the environment, but from an ethical standpoint of getting healthy food to those who need it and minimizing some of the harmful greenhouse gas emissions that come when food ends up in a landfill," Jonathan Bloom, the author of American Wasteland, told NPR.

However, just because something may be socialist doesn't mean it's wrong. The greater wrong is the insane waste of money, damage to the environment, and devastation caused by hunger that can easily be avoided.

Planet

The world is dark and full of terrors, but every once in a while it graces us with something to warm our icy-cold hearts. And that is what we have today, with a single dad who went viral on Twitter after his daughter posted the photos he sent her when trying to pick out and outfit for his date. You love to see it.




After seeing these heartwarming pics, people on Twitter started suggesting this adorable man date their moms. It was essentially a mom and date matchmaking frenzy.

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