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Culture

Netflix's new 'Sexy Beasts' dating show just might be terribly weird enough to work

Netflix's new 'Sexy Beasts' dating show just might be terribly weird enough to work

Okay, Netflix. You may have actually done the impossible and intrigued me enough to want to watch a stupid dating show.

I generally loathe vapid reality shows and roll my eyes at dating series like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Call me old-fashioned, but the idea of gathering a group of conventionally attractive prospects, dating them all at once on camera, and then publicly weeding them out feels super gross to me.

So what makes Netflix's "Sexy Beasts" different? Well, just watch:


Come on. That's so dumb. But at the same time, it looks just ridiculous enough to be entertaining and just mysterious enough to be intriguing.

I mean, it looks horrible. Like, "Is this really what humanity has decided to do with all of its evolution and tech advances?" kind of horrible. And yet here I am, contemplating whether or not I'll watch.

I feel like I'm being trolled, but I'm enjoying it. Even Netflix UK & Ireland seemed to troll their own share of the preview, which would be perfectly appropriate considering the absurdity of it all.

"This is cursed and I love it," is surely the most accurate reflection of most people's reaction honest reaction to the idea.

It's not like we don't know we're being baited. We totally do and we totally are and for some reason we don't even care. It's like the pandemic took away all of the filters we'd normally use to weed out such shenanigans from our lives and left us with nothing but "OH WHY NOT."

I admit it. I'm intrigued. Not really knowing what someone looks like adds a twist to the traditional dating show, but making them look like outrageous creatures and characters takes it to a whole other level.

The amount of makeup time seems absolutely ludicrous, of course. They could have just put bags over people's heads. But where's the fun in that?

Some people have pointed out that the contestants still appear to be conventionally attractive, at least as far as body size and shape goes. So it's not *just* personality that people will be assessing on these dates. Fair point.

Again, it's so dumb. Absolutely ridiculous. And yet, I may actually watch one episode. Maybe just half of one. I can't help it.

And as I say that, I'm feeling this reaction real hard.

Here I was thinking I was above such basic manipulation, but apparently, I was wrong. I didn't even cave to The Tiger King craze—not even one episode—but one weird furry-wanna-be-meets-The-Bachelor preview and I'm a goner.

Damn it, Netflix. Thanks for yanking me straight down the tube.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

I have plenty of space.

This article originally appeared on 04.09.16


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