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Joy

Toronto woman celebrates her 98th birthday by reuniting with her daughter after 80 years

It was the best gift she could ask for.

mom meet daughter after 80 years
Canva

Love knows no time.

Gerda Cole received the most special gift she could have asked for on her 98th birthday: a chance to reunite with her daughter for the first time in 80 years.

As a young Jewish refugee, Cole fled her home of Austria in 1939 for England at the start of World War II.

Several years later, Cole became a mother at the age of 18. But limited education and economic hardship left her with virtually no choice but to give her newborn daughter up for adoption.

Though she was never allowed to make contact with her child again, Cole went off to live a full life. She moved to Canada, earned multiple degrees and got to travel the world.

Meanwhile: Cole's daughter, Sonya Grist, knew little about her birth mother, and believed her to be dead. As Grist’s son Stephen found out, that was most certainly not the case. He told The Toronto Sun:

“I discover that Gerda, my mother’s birth mother, has a stepson and I contact the stepson on Facebook and I say, ‘I’m missing one last piece of information. I just need Gerda’s death certificate …can you help me with that?’ And he said, ‘You’re not going to find her death certificate because she’s still alive and living in a nursing home in Canada.’ And I was like, ‘Oh, my God! My mother’s mother is still alive and is 97 turning 98 (Saturday)!”

Stephen and Sonya quickly whisked away from England to the long-term care home in Toronto where Cole resided. A video from CBC News shows the two sharing their long overdue hug:

They squealed, laughed, smiled, danced and ate cake. It really was a remarkable birthday full of moments to be cherished. Also on Mother’s Day weekend, no less.

Eighty years might have passed, but the bond between this mother and daughter was still strong. Grist recalled to CTV News that in their first email correspondence, Cole wrote “you have to understand this computer doesn’t like me.”

“It was exactly something I would say,” Grist joked. She might be tech challenged, but at least she comes by it honestly.

As for motherly advice, Cole did have some wisdom to bestow upon her daughter.

“Don’t wait until tomorrow before it is too late, if you want to live, live now, not tomorrow or the day after.”

In this case, it certainly wasn't too late for a mother and daughter to share their love.

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Whether to spank your child or not is one of the oldest debates among parents. Many live by the age-old wisdom that to “spare the rod” is to “spoil the child,” while others believe it’s wrong to resort to violence to punish a child when so many alternatives exist.

It also begs the question: If it's wrong to hit your spouse or pet, why is it acceptable to hit a defenseless child?

The 2021 American Family Study found that support for spanking has declined in the U.S. over the past few years. In 2015, 54% either somewhat or strongly agreed with the practice, but that number dropped to 47% in 2021. Thirty-five percent of respondents disagree with the practice and 18% neither agree nor disagree.

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The study defined corporal punishment of children as using physical force to cause pain, but not injury, to correct or control a child’s behavior.

The most startling meta-analysis published in the study found that "only 1 out of 111 statistically significant effect sizes was associated with a link between 'spanking' and a positive child outcome," while 110 were found to be associated with adverse outcomes.

The one positive outcome was in a 1972 study of children of the U.S. military living in West Germany that found those spanked showed less amphetamine and opiate use as adults.

However, the remaining 110 significant results found that spanking had adverse effects, including: “reducing trust and connection with those they are closest to, lower self-esteem, more internalizing and externalizing behavior problems including aggression, mental health difficulties, and increased risk for later substance abuse, antisocial behavior, and violence.”

A meta-analysis found that when children are spanked, they are less likely to internalize the moral implications of the behaviors that led them to be disciplined. It also found that non-physical discipline was more effective at teaching “alternative behaviors,” “developing a child’s conscience,” and advancing their “emotional development.”

Another meta-analysis cited in the story found that corporal punishment in childhood was associated with mental health problems, low self-esteem and antisocial behavior.

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Looking for some non-physical alternatives to discipline your child? Here’s a great place to start from WebMD.

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