'Mama Tot' makes it her mission to bring love and compassion to the internet and it's so wholesome
Even in the midst of her own tragedy she keeps bringing light.
Mama Tot brings love and compassion to the internet.
Sometimes when you're having a bad day it helps to have a warm voice telling you that everything will be OK.
Millions of people have been getting little pep talks from a maternal voice on TikTok, Ophelia Nichols, better known as "Mama Tot." Nichols has been bringing sunshine to people's algorithm for a while now with her signature greeting, "Hey, my little tater tots." The mom of four adult children has built her platform on kindness and compassion. Anytime social media users see Nichols' face pop up on their screen, they know they're in for a dose of sweetness.
Some people have been so taken aback by the Alabama woman's sweet nature that they have asked her if she was just pretending to be that nice. Mama Tot isn't a stranger to those sorts of questions and always responds with her signature brand of kindness, explaining about her difficult upbringing and desire to just be a good human.
Recently, Nichols' "tater tots" rallied around her after the news of her youngest child being tragically murdered. In a truly admirable video, Mama Tot called for compassion toward the other family involved, though she was hurting.
When someone is in need, Nichols does her best to help however she can and her followers come along for the ride, gleaning their own message from her words.
When a young mom was struggling with feeling like she just couldn't get things together, Nichols sent her a message via video saying, "What we're supposed to do is raise our babies and our children the best way we know how." She continued, "If you're giving your babies all of you and the best of you, then your best will always be good enough for them."
The message was so encouraging that the mom she made the video for commented, "Thank you Mama Tot, everything I needed to hear 💗 such big shoes to fill, I want to be everything she deserves."
@shoelover99 #stitch with @Leah Rae
These messages from Mama Tot aren't always specifically to any one person, but they're certainly helpful to many people that come across her page. The southern mom has amassed more than 9 million followers and more than 279 million likes, all due to her bubbly personality and ability to know just what people need to hear.
The internet can be a cruel place, but Nichols has made her mark by remaining kind and giving sage advice, including explaining financial abuse to her followers and how to stash away money to escape a financially abusive relationship. While Nichols is kind, she does not put up with bullies. Her "tater tots" can learn from her ability to set boundaries, take accountability for missteps and remain kind while doing so.
Nichols' comments section is always filled with people expressing their gratitude for her encouraging words and the light she brings to their day. On one of Nichols' videos checking in on her followers, a commenter, Jess, wrote, "a bright spot in a dark day🥰bless you mama tot." While another commenter, Hannah Perry, on the same video said, "You give me so much hope in the world of darkness."
If you happen to stumble across one of Mama Tot's videos, check out her page for a while, you'll be glad you did.
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.