This meeting of the Childhood Preservation Society can now come to order.
We ask that you please silence your Simon, and unless they identify as "hungry, hungry," please put any hippo feedings on hold.
Before we get to a status report on how successful our coloring book resurgence has been, I'd like to share some exciting news out of Louisiana that will serve as a model for many of our local efforts going forward.
As many of you are well aware, lemonade stands are a rite of passage for many young people in the U.S.
From the street corners of big cities to the roadsides of rural highways, these citrus oases (It's the plural of oasis. Who knew, right?) provide refreshment for thirsty travelers and early business opportunities for America's youngest entrepreneurs. And sometimes they even sell bottled water or doughnuts.
What's more patriotic than that?
President George W. Bush stops for a lemonade at a roadside stand on his way to the Raleigh-Durham Airport in 2004. Photo by Paul J. Richards/AFP/Getty Images.
But occasionally adults with nothing better to do enforce local laws and statues requiring a permit for such endeavors.
Or worse, they ticket the children outright, penalizing them (or their parents). At best, they collect a few hundred dollars and sour a perfectly good afternoon. At worst, they squeeze the life out of the tender entrepreneurial spirits of local kids.
GIF via "The Simpsons."
How often does this happen? Way more than it should.
These sisters in Texas were trying to earn money for a Father's Day gift. Shut down.
Half a dozen kids in Maryland planned to split their earnings with a pediatric cancer charity. Shut down.
And a girl in New York selling cookies and lemonade with her dad was cornered by parks department agents. Shut down.
It's petty and really, really frustrating.
Andria and Zooey Green just wanted to help their dad do something nice. GIF via USA Today/YouTube.
It's a terrible use of time and resources. So Louisiana legislators did something about it.
Sen. Gary Smith, a Democratic legislator from Norco, Louisiana, introduced a measure to exempt kids from paying an occupation license tax on their small businesses. The bill passed with unanimous support, and Gov. John Bel Edwards plans to sign it. So long as the children of Louisiana take home less than $500 a year, they're free to operate their lemonade stands as they wish without fear of "The Man" knocking their hustle.
Photo by iStock.
The law takes effect Aug. 1, so the Childhood Preservation Society would like to remind its members to keep a low profile should they choose to fly in the face of the existing rules and operate lemonade stands in the bayou all summer long.
Senate Bill 99 (or as it should be called, "The Lemonade Law"), is a big victory for the small people of Louisiana and a reminder that our lawmakers can still work together.
At every level of government, infighting, partisan rancor, and childish posturing are the name of the game. It's why people lose faith in once-revered institutions and why so many long for a change to the status quo.
While a simple, commonsense measure in Louisiana won't change much for most of us, it's something. It's proof that our lawmakers can do the right thing. And a reminder that they can be the leaders we want them to be, if just for a moment.
Or maybe it's proof they like roadside refreshments as much as the rest of us. And frankly, that's OK too.
Whatever the reason, it keeps me hopeful.
Photo by iStock.
The Childhood Preservation Society will now take a brief recess for ... recess.
Please grab a juice box and some graham crackers on your way out.



A Generation Jones teenager poses in her room.Image via Wikmedia Commons
An office kitchen.via
An angry man eating spaghetti.via 
At least it wasn't Bubbles.
You just know there's a person named Whiskey out there getting a kick out of this. 


An Irish woman went to the doctor for a routine eye exam. She left with bright neon green eyes.
It's not easy seeing green.
Did she get superpowers?
Going to the eye doctor can be a hassle and a pain. It's not just the routine issues and inconveniences that come along when making a doctor appointment, but sometimes the various devices being used to check your eyes' health feel invasive and uncomfortable. But at least at the end of the appointment, most of us don't look like we're turning into The Incredible Hulk. That wasn't the case for one Irish woman.
Photographer Margerita B. Wargola was just going in for a routine eye exam at the hospital but ended up leaving with her eyes a shocking, bright neon green.
At the doctor's office, the nurse practitioner was prepping Wargola for a test with a machine that Wargola had experienced before. Before the test started, Wargola presumed the nurse had dropped some saline into her eyes, as they were feeling dry. After she blinked, everything went yellow.
Wargola and the nurse initially panicked. Neither knew what was going on as Wargola suddenly had yellow vision and radioactive-looking green eyes. After the initial shock, both realized the issue: the nurse forgot to ask Wargola to remove her contact lenses before putting contrast drops in her eyes for the exam. Wargola and the nurse quickly removed the lenses from her eyes and washed them thoroughly with saline. Fortunately, Wargola's eyes were unharmed. Unfortunately, her contacts were permanently stained and she didn't bring a spare pair.
- YouTube youtube.com
Since she has poor vision, Wargola was forced to drive herself home after the eye exam wearing the neon-green contact lenses that make her look like a member of the Green Lantern Corps. She couldn't help but laugh at her predicament and recorded a video explaining it all on social media. Since then, her video has sparked a couple Reddit threads and collected a bunch of comments on Instagram:
“But the REAL question is: do you now have X-Ray vision?”
“You can just say you're a superhero.”
“I would make a few stops on the way home just to freak some people out!”
“I would have lived it up! Grab a coffee, do grocery shopping, walk around a shopping center.”
“This one would pair well with that girl who ate something with turmeric with her invisalign on and walked around Paris smiling at people with seemingly BRIGHT YELLOW TEETH.”
“I would save those for fancy special occasions! WOW!”
“Every time I'd stop I'd turn slowly and stare at the person in the car next to me.”
“Keep them. Tell people what to do. They’ll do your bidding.”
In a follow-up Instagram video, Wargola showed her followers that she was safe at home with normal eyes, showing that the damaged contact lenses were so stained that they turned the saline solution in her contacts case into a bright Gatorade yellow. She wasn't mad at the nurse and, in fact, plans on keeping the lenses to wear on St. Patrick's Day or some other special occasion.
While no harm was done and a good laugh was had, it's still best for doctors, nurses, and patients alike to double-check and ask or tell if contact lenses are being worn before each eye test. If not, there might be more than ultra-green eyes to worry about.