In the 17th century, the wealthy people of Scotland would escape to the small town of Moffat for its healing sulfurous springs. Today, people appreciate Moffat for another kind of healing escape…into darkness.
That’s right. The healing power of the dark of night is a thing, not only for people but for the planet.
If you’ve ever had the bounty of sitting out under the stars far away from city lights, you know how magical it can be to gaze at the night sky, but there are benefits to natural darkness that go far beyond enjoying the aesthetic beauty of space. That’s the premise behind Dark Sky Communities.
Moffat became an official Dark Sky Community in 2016 after it invested in changing the town’s lighting to prevent light pollution. Now it’s an ideal place for stargazing, with a community observatory housing a state-of-the-art telescope and townspeople dedicated to preserving the night sky. Moffat was one of the first Dark Sky Communities in Europe and is one of just 38 around the world as of January 2023.
What exactly is a Dark Sky Community and why does it matter?
The International Dark-Sky Association (IDA) began designating places around the world, from natural environments to cities and towns, as Dark Sky Places in 2001 as a way of recognizing “excellent stewardship of the night sky.” Dark Sky Places preserve and protect the dark through responsible lighting policies and public education about the importance of reducing light pollution. A Dark Sky Community is a legally organized city or town that adopts outdoor lighting ordinances that reduce light pollution and undertakes efforts to educate residents about the importance of dark skies.
Darkness matters—a lot. Not only does light pollution make it harder to see the beauty of the night sky, but it also has a negative effect on wildlife and ecosystems. Many animals, from insects to migratory birds to nocturnal animals rely on the natural rhythm of sunlight and darkness, and artificial light can disrupt their natural behaviors, sometimes to deadly effect. Light pollution also has a detrimental impact on plants, disrupting the circadian rhythm of certain pollinators and leading to reduced plant-pollinator interactions.
Too much artificial light at night can impact human health as well, as light messes with our own circadian rhythms. It’s also just a waste of energy when lights are left on unnecessarily. The IDA estimates that around 30% of outdoor lighting is wasted, just in the U.S. alone. The Artificial Light at Night (ALAN) Research Literature Database provides a wealth of scientific literature on all aspects of artificial light at night research.
But as much as science tells us about the importance of reducing light pollution, there’s also what the IDA refers to as our “night sky heritage.”
The night sky has inspired scientists and poets alike throughout human history. Canva
The IDA website explains:
“Until recently, for all of human history, our ancestors experienced a sky brimming with stars—a night sky that inspired science, religion, philosophy, art and literature, including some of Shakespeare’s most famous sonnets.
The natural night sky is our common and universal heritage, yet it’s rapidly becoming unknown to the newest generations.
Van Gogh painted his famous “Starry Night” in Saint Rémy, France, in 1889. Now, the Milky Way can no longer be seen from there. If he were alive today, would he still be inspired to paint “Starry Night”?
Experiencing the night sky provides perspective, inspiration, and leads us to reflect on our humanity and place in the universe. The history of scientific discovery and even human curiosity itself is indebted to the natural night sky.
Without the natural night sky we could not have:
Navigated the globe
Walked on the Moon
Learned of our expanding universe
Discovered that humans are made of stardust”
Our relationship with natural darkness is both practical and poetic, but in a world full of lights and screens, most of us probably don’t it as much thought or care as we should. That’s the whole purpose of naming and certifying Dark Sky Places.
The IDA shares that as of January 2023, there are 201 certified Dark Sky Places in the world, including 115 Parks, 38 Communities, 20 Reserves, 16 Sanctuaries, 6 Urban Night Sky Places, and 6 Dark Sky Friendly Developments of Distinction.
You can find the list of Dark Sky Communities here and an interactive map of all official Dark Sky Places here.
Let’s all do our part to turn off lights and limit light pollution for the good of people and our planet.
A single door can open up a world of endless possibilities. For homeowners, the front door of their house is a gateway to financial stability, job security, and better health. Yet for many, that door remains closed. Due to the rising costs of housing, 1 in 3 people around the world wake up without the security of safe, affordable housing.
Since 1976, Habitat for Humanity has made it their mission to unlock and open the door to opportunity for families everywhere, and their efforts have paid off in a big way. Through their work over the past 50 years, more than 65 million people have gained access to new or improved housing, and the movement continues to gain momentum. Since 2011 alone, Habitat for Humanity has expanded access to affordable housing by a hundredfold.
A world where everyone has access to a decent home is becoming a reality, but there’s still much to do. As they celebrate 50 years of building, Habitat for Humanity is inviting people of all backgrounds and talents to be part of what comes next through Let’s Open the Door, a global campaign that builds on this momentum and encourages people everywhere to help expand access to safe, affordable housing for those who need it most. Here’s how the foundation to a better world starts with housing, and how everyone can pitch in to make it happen.
Volunteers raise a wall for the framework of a new home during the first day of building at Habitat for Humanity’s 2025 Carter Work Project.
Globally, almost 3 billion people, including 1 in 6 U.S. families, struggle with high costs and other challenges related to housing. A crisis in itself, this also creates larger problems that affect families and communities in unexpected ways. People who lack affordable, stable housing are also more likely to experience financial hardship in other areas of their lives, since a larger share of their income often goes toward rent, utilities, and frequent moves. They are also more likely to experience health problems due to chronic stress or environmental factors, such as mold. Housing insecurity also goes hand-in-hand with unstable employment, since people may need to move further from their jobs or switch jobs altogether to offset the cost of housing.
Affordable homeownership creates a stable foundation for families to thrive, reducing stress and increasing the likelihood for good health and stable employment. Habitat for Humanity builds and repairs homes with individual families, but it also strengthens entire communities as well. The MicroBuild® Initiative, for example, strengthens communities by increasing access to loans for low-income families seeking to build or repair their homes. Habitat ReStore locations provide affordable appliances and building materials to local communities, in addition to creating job and volunteer opportunities that support neighborhood growth.
Marsha and her son pose for a photo while building their future home with Southern Crescent Habitat for Humanity in Georgia.
Everyone can play a part in the fight for housing equity and the pursuit of a better world. Over the past 50 years, Habitat for Humanity has become a leader in global housing thanks to an engaged network of volunteers—but you don’t need to be skilled with a hammer to make a meaningful impact. Building an equitable future means calling on a wide range of people and talents.
Here’s how you can get involved in the global housing movement:
Speaking up on social media about the growing housing crisis
Volunteering on a Habitat for Humanity build in your local community
Travel and build with Habitat in the U.S. or in one of 60+ countries where we work around the globe
Join the Let’s Open the Door movement and, when you donate, you can create your own personalized door
Every action, big and small, drives a global movement toward a better future. A safe home unlocks opportunity for families and communities alike, but it’s volunteers and other supporters, working together with a shared vision, who can open the door for everyone.
You finally have good news. A promotion at work. The text you’ve been waiting all week for. You watch your kid take those first wobbly steps across the living room.
You excitedly tell a friend, your heart still racing a little, and they glance at their phone, mumble, “That’s great,” and slump back into their chair. Technically, they said the right thing. But their body told a different story.
Nonverbal cues are like the backstage crew of every conversation. Just because you don’t always notice them doesn’t mean they’re not there, controlling the lights, the mood, and the entire show. Psychologist Albert Mehrabian suggested that when we express feelings, only a small portion of the message comes from words, while much of the rest comes from tone and body language.
In other words, you can say “I’m listening” with your mouth, but your posture, eye contact, and tone of voice might be saying “I’m not.”
But there’s hope! These are skills, not personality flaws, and once you see the patterns—a handful of automatic, low-awareness habits that can unintentionally make others feel judged, dismissed, or unimportant—you can start to shift them.
Here are nine common “silent habits” that can create distance, plus gentle ways to adjust your behavior:
1. Avoiding eye contact
You’re halfway through a story about how your previous apartment was infiltrated by bees, and you can feel it: the other person’s gaze keeps sliding past your shoulder, down to the table, anywhere but your face. You finish the story, but something deep within you recoils.
In many cultures, steady, comfortable eye contact is one of the simplest tools we have to convey, “I’m here with you. You matter.” Without it, words can feel hollow. When the opposite happens—when we rarely look someone in the eye during a conversation—they may feel invisible or boring, even if it’s just meant to give them some space or to “not stare.”
How Much Eye Contact is Too Much? Use The 50/70 Rule Unlocking the power of eye contact is about balance, not rigid percentages. Speaking requires about 50% eye contact while listening demands around 70%. Quality trumps quantity, so make it meaningful. #eyecontact#dating#turnons#datingtips#datingadvice
Eye contact can be hard or even painful for some people, including folks who are shy, anxious, or neurodivergent. Others may have been raised in a culture that did not demand steady eye contact. That is why it helps to treat it as a flexible tool rather than a moral test.
How to shift: Try the “50/70” guideline, and hold eye contact about half the time while you speak and a little more while you listen. Let your gaze rest on their eyes or the bridge of their nose, then drift away naturally. If direct eye contact feels intense, look near their eyes instead; you’ll still create a sense of connection.
2. Crossing your arms
This one is tricky. Sometimes, you cross your arms because it’s cold outside and you forgot to bring a jacket. Other times, you truly don’t know what to do with your hands.
A tightly crossed posture often reads as “closed off,” “annoyed,” or “not open to what you are saying,” even when you feel fully engaged. Body language researchers describe it as creating a physical barrier. The perception is the problem, not necessarily the posture itself. As nonverbal behavior expert Alison Henderson has noted, “The perception is the important part. They may think a gesture is harmless because they don’t mean anything by it, but it’s how it’s perceived that becomes the issue.”
Over time, friends may stop sharing things with you. It’s difficult to be vulnerable with someone whose body keeps bracing for impact.
How to shift: Experiment with opening your stance. Rest your arms at your sides, in your lap, or around a cup, notebook, or bag. When you show your hands—especially with palms relaxed or open—you tend to look warmer and more approachable.
3. Phubbing (or phone snubbing)
Even a quick glance at your phone’s notification screen can feel like a tiny rejection, especially during emotionally charged moments. Research suggests that “phubbing” (a blend of “phone” and “snubbing”) can chip away at relationships over time, as it signals to the other person, “I’m checking to see if something more interesting has popped up.”
Checking your phone, even for a second, can have negative social impact. Photo credit: Canva
The worst part is that most people check their phones without trying to be rude—often, they don’t even care what’s on it. Our phones are simply irresistible, and our daily habits have hard-wired constant checking.
How to shift: When you’re with someone, try putting your phone fully away. Not face-down on the table or across the room, but away, either in another room or in your backpack. When you’re impervious to its seductive hum calling for your attention, you can be truly present with what matters: the other person in the room. However, if you truly expect an urgent call or text, name it upfront: “Just a heads up, I’m waiting for a call from so-and-so. I might check my phone once or twice, but I’m listening; I really want to hear this.” This tiny disclaimer can do wonders.
4. Slouching or “checked out”
No one’s perfect; we all have days when we want to melt into our couch and become one with its cushions. But when your shoulders cave in, your gaze drifts, and your whole body tilts away from the person speaking, your posture can come across as disinterest or apathy, no matter how engaged you are in the conversation. As body language consultant Dr. Lillian Glass puts it, poor posture conveys that you’re “not positive, not energetic, not caring.” Even if you’re fully mentally present, a rounded-in posture can make you appear inattentive or guarded.
Posture is a complex subject: it shapes not only how people see you, but also how you feel. A more upright, supported posture can boost alertness and mood, making it easier to stay present.
How to shift:Practice at home. Sit with your lower back supported and your feet on the floor if you can. Let your shoulders relax instead of locking them in place. Maybe lean forward a bit. Doing this when someone talks (just a few degrees, not “invading your space” territory) can come across as an act of solidarity.
5. Eye rolling and other “I’m above this” expressions
Few gestures cut as sharply as an eye roll. A sigh, a smirk, or a raised eyebrow at an inopportune moment can sting as much as harsh words.
Relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman points to contempt—often expressed through eye‑rolling, mocking faces, or sneering tones—as one of the most corrosive behaviors in close relationships. To the person on the receiving end, it does not just say, “I disagree.” It says, “You are beneath me.”
But it’s not so simple, is it? The movement can reflect many things: frustration, fatigue, overwhelm, or thinking. Someone might roll their eyes because they’re searching for the right words (and looking up is just part of how they process information), or because they are reacting playfully or dramatically, but it lands in a way they didn’t intend. However, it’s important to be mindful of when, how, and where you roll your eyes—eye rolling is easy to misread.
How to shift: When you feel that “Ugh, I can’t believe this” frustration rise, hit pause. Take a breath and soften your expression on purpose, even for a second. If you disagree or feel hurt, try putting it into words instead of rolling your eyes. “I’m having a strong emotional response, and I’m not sure why. Can you tell me more about where you’re coming from?” A simple phrase like this leaves little room for interpretation. Respectful curiosity keeps the door open.
6. Standing too close and invading personal space
Everyone carries an invisible bubble around their body, a personal “comfort zone” that shifts with culture, relationship, and context. When you stand too close, especially with acquaintances or coworkers, you can trigger a sense of intrusion or even threat.
Anthropologist Edward T. Hall’s classic research on proxemics identifies a hierarchy of space around every person: an intimate zone (roughly 0–1.5 feet) reserved for close loved ones; a personal zone (1.5–4 feet) for good friends; and a social zone (4–12 feet) for colleagues and acquaintances.
You do not need to create charts outlining everyone’s “personal space parameters” (nor should you). The key lies in what you can see: in real life, people lean back, step away, or angle their bodies when they want more room.
Bouncing a leg, tapping the table, clicking a pen, or twisting your hair can all help your body release nervous energy. These aren’t “bad” habits per se, but during a conversation—especially in small spaces or during meetings—they can distract or even irritate those around you.
In extreme cases, constant fidgeting can trigger a biological response. Some people live with misokinesia, a strong negative reaction to repetitive movements in their field of vision, and a jiggling foot can be overwhelming, preventing them from hearing your actual message.
How to shift: Start by noticing your patterns. Do you fidget more when you feel anxious, bored, or overstimulated? The next time you feel those emotions, check if you’re fidgeting. When you catch yourself, do a quick realignment, and gently plant your feet on the floor. Rest your hands on a steady surface. Move your energy into slower, deliberate actions, like taking a deep breath, sipping water, or uncurling your shoulders. You don’t have to be perfectly still. Just find a calmer rhythm.
8. Being late and acting like it’s “no big deal”
Most of us understand that sometimes, life gets in the way. There was a crash on the highway, leading to an extra 15 minutes of traffic. The kids refused to put their shoes on and leave the house. Your boss monopolized your attention after work.
But more than the actual act of lateness, what hurts is the failure to acknowledge it. When someone walks in late and acts as if nothing happened, the people who waited and were patient can feel like their time isn’t important. Like they’re supporting characters in the late person’s life, just waiting in the wings until they arrive. If that pattern repeats, the warmth and trust that once permeated the relationship can run dry, as friends and coworkers start to pull back emotionally, even if they never say exactly why.
How to shift: As soon as you realize you’re running late, send a quick message. “Running 10 minutes behind—so sorry, I’ll be there soon.” When you arrive, offer a simple, sincere apology: “Sorry for being late! Thanks for waiting for me.” No one’s expecting an Oscar-winning speech or monologue. You don’t have to be long-winded or self-flagellating to convey how sorry you are. Owning the impact can restore more goodwill than you think.
9. Finger pointing, literally
During a conversation, you extend your index finger toward another person. You’re just being helpful, identifying the person you’re talking about, which often happens unconsciously in moments when emotions run high.
But there’s a reason this is one of the older taboos in social gesturing: finger-pointing has historically been associated with accusation, blame, and aggression. In Western cultures, finger-pointing at a person reads as lecturing, dominant, or confrontational. Even in calmer contexts, it can make the person on the receiving end feel singled out or diminished. In a casual disagreement with a friend, even a gentle finger jab toward them while speaking can make the exchange feel more combative than it needs to be.
How to shift: When you feel the itch to gesture for emphasis, use an open hand instead, with your palms facing upward. You can even gesture in the air between you and the other person, instead of directly at them. When you refer to something specific, try using your whole hand to point in that direction rather than a single extended finger.
Body language is a learnable skill
As we’ve mentioned, there are a million reasons why these habits join our autopilot, and they don’t always come from mean, judgmental places. No one wakes up and thinks, “Today I will cross my arms and glance at my phone to make my friend feel small.”
The nine habits described here share one important quality: nearly all of them are unintentional.
But the truth is, your body keeps talking, even when you stay quiet. When your body tells a different story than the one that lives in your heart, people feel that mismatch. And often, they go with the one they can see, not hear.
Here is the hopeful piece: you can learn to excel at nonverbal communication, just like any other skill. With gentle awareness, you can sit up a little straighter, maintain steady eye contact, and treat even the smallest gestures with care.
You don’t need to fix everything at once. Conversations shouldn’t feel like a system overload of monitoring every aspect of your body (actually listening to what’s being said is still important, so don’t forget that). Maybe you uncross your arms on purpose, or throw your phone in the other room. Over time, those small shifts add up. Others will feel a little more seen, a little more respected, a little more at ease in the space around you.
Statistically speaking, the number of humans who have traveled into space is insignificant. But the experience of leaving our home planet and venturing into the great beyond is incredibly significant for the individuals who have actually done it. One of those fortunate humans is actor William Shatner, who spent three years pretending to hurtle through space in his iconic role as Captain James T. Kirk on the original Star Trek series. As captain of the USS Enterprise, Captain Kirk was dedicated to exploring “strange new worlds,” seeking out “new life and new civilizations,” and boldly going “where no man has gone before.”
Naturally, Shatner has spent a lot of time pondering what it would be like to actually experience leaving Earth, and when he took the opportunity to join Jeff Bezos’ Blue Origin trip to space in October 2021 at age 90, he was able to compare how his expectations met up with reality. Shatner shared an excerpt from his book with Variety, and it reveals that his initial reaction to being in space was surprisingly dark.
“I love the mystery of the universe,” Shatner wrote. “I love all the questions that have come to us over thousands of years of exploration and hypotheses. Stars exploding years ago, their light traveling to us years later; black holes absorbing energy; satellites showing us entire galaxies in areas thought to be devoid of matter entirely… all of that has thrilled me for years…”
What Shatner actually saw when he looked into space
However, as he looked out the window of the spacecraft (a real one, not a screen on a film set) and looked in the direction opposite Earth, “there was no mystery, no majestic awe to behold,” he wrote. “All I saw was death. I saw a cold, dark, black emptiness. It was unlike any blackness you can see or feel on Earth. It was deep, enveloping, all-encompassing.”
As he turned back toward “the light of home,” he saw the opposite. “I could see the curvature of Earth, the beige of the desert, the white of the clouds and the blue of the sky. It was life. Nurturing, sustaining, life. Mother Earth. Gaia. And I was leaving her.”
Then he had a stunning revelation: “Everything I had thought was wrong. Everything I had expected to see was wrong.”
“What you have given me is the most profound experience I can imagine,” William Shatner, back from space, tells Blue Origin founder Jeff Bezos. "I’m so filled with emotion about what just happened. It’s extraordinary. I hope I never recover from this.” https://t.co/kQc9VBTOVypic.twitter.com/4QR5aluuwj
Again, this is a man who has spent much of his life thinking about space, not as an astronaut or astronomer or astrophysicist, but as a human being stuck on the Earth’s surface, struck with wonder about what’s out there. He explained what he had been wrong about:
“I had thought that going into space would be the ultimate catharsis of that connection I had been looking for between all living things—that being up there would be the next beautiful step to understanding the harmony of the universe. In the film ‘Contact,’ when Jodie Foster’s character goes to space and looks out into the heavens, she lets out an astonished whisper, ‘They should’ve sent a poet.’ I had a different experience, because I discovered that the beauty isn’t out there, it’s down here, with all of us. Leaving that behind made my connection to our tiny planet even more profound.
“It was among the strongest feelings of grief I have ever encountered. The contrast between the vicious coldness of space and the warm nurturing of Earth below filled me with overwhelming sadness. Every day, we are confronted with the knowledge of further destruction of Earth at our hands: the extinction of animal species, of flora and fauna . . . things that took five billion years to evolve, and suddenly we will never see them again because of the interference of mankind. It filled me with dread. My trip to space was supposed to be a celebration; instead, it felt like a funeral.”
The overview effect and what it means for all of us
Shatner explained how this “sense of the planet’s fragility takes hold in an ineffable, instinctive manner” for many astronauts when they view Earth from orbit. It’s part of the “overview effect,” the profound shift in perspective that comes with seeing our collective home from a distance. With no visible borders between nations or peoples, it becomes clear that our divisions are all manmade, which can change the way we view humanity as a whole.
The experience left Shatner with renewed conviction to focus on what we share in common.
“It reinforced tenfold my own view on the power of our beautiful, mysterious collective human entanglement,” he wrote, “and eventually, it returned a feeling of hope to my heart. In this insignificance we share, we have one gift that other species perhaps do not: we are aware, not only of our insignificance, but the grandeur around us that makes us insignificant. That allows us perhaps a chance to rededicate ourselves to our planet, to each other, to life and love all around us. If we seize that chance.”
He chose reflection over champagne
Upon returning to Earth, Bezos offered Shatner champagne, but he turned down the offer because he needed a moment to collect his thoughts on what he had just experienced. He told Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show that the trip gave him a moment to reflect on his life. “What’s equally important is caring, loving, the planet is going to be inundated, unless we do something about it,” he told Fallon. “All the deep things that we should be thinking about, every so often, we need to be reminded. And that moonshot, that did it to me.”
Just beautiful. Since most of us will never leave Earth, we can take inspiration from those who have, acknowledge our essential oneness and do everything in our power to protect our beautiful, life-giving home.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, Emmie Sanh was at a low point. She didn’t feel good, barely exercised, and was tasked with caring for her aging mother. Like many people, she realized her life needed to change, so she decided to take up weight training. Here’s the thing, though: she started at the ripe young age of 68.
Now Sanh’s commitment to strength training has gotten her noticed, with many people inspired by the videos she uploads to her social media. Commenters have remarked on her energy level and have been impressed by the number of squats, curls, lunges, and other weight-room exercises she showcases.
“If you told me 50 years ago that I’d be lifting heavier than ever and feeling my most energetic at 71, I never would’ve believed you – but here I am,” Sanh told Women’s Health. “Getting older is inevitable but weakness is optional, and I’m so grateful that I get to do hard things at 71. After all, I don’t lift for my age – I lift for my life.”
Why many doctors recommend weight training for seniors
Understandably, many people consider weight training to be a younger person’s game. Typically, many older adults become weaker and lose size or stature, making weight training look like it’s for younger people. But that is precisely why many doctors recommend that adults include more weight training and resistance exercise as they get older.
Studies have found that heavy weight training by seniors can benefit their lives. Such strength training can help prevent muscle mass from deteriorating and can improve mobility. Muscles build, tendons get stronger, and bone density increases. Building bone density is important as a person ages, helping reduce the risk of osteoporosis.
What weight training exercises should seniors try?
Personal trainers who spoke to Upworthy offered exercise recommendations and tips for seniors who want to head to the weight room.
United States Marine Corps veteran and professional trainer Victor Kanashiro suggests Smith machines as a great place for older lifters to start.
“A few examples of safe heavy weightlifting exercises for older adults include Smith machine squats, Smith machine bench press, and Smith machine rows are effective options,” said Kanashiro. “These movements provide the benefits of compound barbell lifting while adding built-in safety features like adjustable safety stops, which help reduce the risk of injury and make heavy lifting more accessible.”
Strength and fitness trainer Allison Kalsched echoed that weightlifting machines can offer more stability and safety. Kalsched also recommends that older lifters start much lighter than they might think, as they are not in the same bodies they were in during their 20s.
“I would always suggest starting simple with the basic movements such as squats, pulling movements, pushing movements and carrying weights while walking,” said Kalsched. “These moves mimic the activities we all have to complete to be an active participant in life, so training in the gym should prepare us for a long and strong life.”
Other workout tips
Kalsched also mentioned that seniors can check their eligibility for SilverSneakers through Medicare to receive free memberships to participating gyms. On top of that, she recommends a private session with a personal trainer for exercise guidance. If they cannot afford it long term, one or two sessions should be enough to help a senior learn a routine and proper form so they can continue their fitness journey independently, if they wish.
To keep your golden years golden, it is worth going to the gym to lift some iron.
Sean Lans got an invitation to his friend’s birthday dinner. He looked up the restaurant. The cheapest entree on the menu was $41. There was also a $35 cover charge at the bar they were hitting afterward. He did the math and proposed a compromise: he’d skip dinner and meet everyone out later.
His friend was not happy about it.
Sean posted about it on TikTok (@seanlans), and the video took off because almost everyone watching had been on one side of this exact conversation at some point. “I’m not looking to spend the equivalent of a week of grocery money on a single night out,” he said in the video. That line landed for a lot of people.
The responses split along pretty predictable lines. Some thought $41 wasn’t that bad and he should have saved up if this friend mattered to him. Others pointed out that nobody should be put in the position of choosing between their budget and showing up for someone’s birthday.
Diners celebrate at a restaurant. Photo credit: Canva
One commenter offered the most reasonable take: “If someone is unable to attend my boujee birthday dinner, that’s fine. I’ll schedule another affordable dinner date for us to celebrate together.”
Sean later told Bored Panda he was surprised to learn how many people assume the birthday host covers everyone, and also surprised that several commenters thought $41 for a single entree was totally reasonable. He also noted that other people in the group didn’t actually want to go to that restaurant either. He was just the one who said so.
You can follow Sean Lans (@seanlans) on TikTok for more financial-based content.
After going into space for the first time, astronauts experience a profound shift in perspective known as the overview effect. When they look down on Earth, they no longer see borders, politics, or religion. Instead, they see a beautiful blue marble floating in space where everything on its surface is magically connected. After seeing the Earth from afar, many of humankind’s squabbles and battles seem petty and inconsequential. This incredible shift in perspective can be exhilarating, but also isolating.
The four astronauts who were aboard the recent Artemis II mission, NASA‘s first trip around the moon since Apollo 17 in 1972, shared their experiences of the overview effect upon returning home on April 10. Astronaut Reid Wiseman struggled to find words to express his incredible, unique experience.
Seeing Earth from space was life-changing for astronaut Reid Wiseman
“I’m not really a religious person, but there was no other avenue for me to explain anything or experience anything,” Wiseman said. “So I asked for the chaplain on the Navy ship to just come visit us for a minute. When that man walked in, I’d never met him before in my life, but I saw the cross on his collar, and I just broke down in tears.”
Wiseman added that it is “very hard to fully grasp what we just went through.”
“When the sun eclipsed behind the moon, I turned to [astronaut Victor Glover] and said ‘I don’t think humanity has evolved to the point of being able to comprehend what we are looking at right now,’” Wiseman said.
Astronaut Jeremy Hansen also said that he had trouble “trying to find words” to describe his time in space accurately. “But what kept grabbing my attention, when the lighting was right, and we were looking out the window, is that I kept seeing this depth to the galaxy,” he said. “That was mind–blowing for me. The sense I had of fragility and feeling infinitesimally small.”
A thin blue line separates life on Earth from the darkness of space
Another profound realization astronauts have is that Earth’s atmosphere appears remarkably thin from space. “You see the thin blue line of the atmosphere, and then when you’re on the dark side of the Earth, you actually see this very thin green line that shows you where the atmosphere is,” Mission Specialist Christina Koch said, according to NASA. “What you realize is every single person that you know is sustained and inside of that green line, and everything else outside of it is completely inhospitable.”
The aurora australis glowing over the Indian Ocean. Credit NASA Johnson/Flickr
Ultimately, when someone experiences a major shift in perspective, the important thing is how they incorporate it into their lives. “You come back to sea level, and then you have a choice,” Glover told NASA. “Are you going to try to live your life a little differently? Are you going to really choose to be a member of this community of Earth?”
The study split participants into groups: about 275 were paid to deactivate their accounts for six weeks, while others logged off for just one week. Both groups showed improved emotional well-being compared to those who kept scrolling, but the effect was more pronounced for Facebook users who went longer without it.
The results broke down along some interesting lines. Facebook users over 35 showed the biggest mood improvements, along with undecided voters and people without college degrees. Among Instagram users, the 18-to-24 group benefited most.
None of this is entirely shocking in the abstract since most people have a pretty good intuition that less time doomscrolling means more mental breathing room. What makes this study notable is its scale. This wasn’t a self-selected group of digital detox enthusiasts. These were ordinary users, many of whom presumably went back to their feeds afterward, and the boost showed up clearly in the data.
Young people staring at their phones. Photo credit: Canva
The comment section on ABC News’s video coverage said it more plainly: “Getting rid of my Facebook and Instagram accounts was the best thing I’ve ever done.” Another: “The worst thing about social media is that people are in it for hours and they don’t even realize it.”
The study doesn’t argue that everyone should quit. It does suggest the relationship between habitual social media use and emotional well-being is real, measurable, and probably worth paying attention to.
Studies show that when we meet someone new, we check for two traits to decide if we like them. First, we decide whether they have a warm personality. Do they come off as kind, friendly, or accepting? Second, we assess their competence. Are they intelligent, skilled, and do they have basic social skills?
If you pass the warmth/competence round of meeting someone new, another way to make sure that people like you is to make a small blunder. People have already assessed that you’re competent. Making a small mistake and having fun with it will make you more relatable. The psychological phenomenon is known as the Pratfall Effect.
What is the Pratfall Effect?
Psychologist Elliot Aronson first identified the Pratfall Effect in a 1966 experiment in which he had participants listen to an audio recording of someone taking a quiz and doing incredibly well. At the end of the recording, some participants heard the quiz-taker spill coffee on themselves, while others didn’t. Those who heard the coffee spill rated the quiz-taker much higher on likability than those who did not.
The basic reasoning behind the Pratfall Effect is that when someone is seen as competent, a mistake makes them more relatable. A terrific example of this is Jennifer Lawrence tripping at the 2013 Academy Awards. At the moment when she was being awarded for her incredible performance in Silver Linings Playbook, she fell on her face. No doubt this made her all the more likable because everyone watching on TV thought, “Oh, she’s just like me.”
If Lawrence had become angry or cursed the stairs for the fall, people would have thought less of her, but after she fell, she received a standing ovation, and she laughed about it. “You guys are just standing up because you feel bad that I fell, and that’s really embarrassing, thank you,” she opened her speech.
The Pratfall Effect doesn’t work in every situation
Now, the Pratfall Effect will only work to your advantage in a situation where people think that you are competent. If you are really good at your job and you accidentally mispronounce a word in a speech to your coworkers and laugh it off, they will like you more. However, if this is a situation where you are less competent, say, you are learning how to golf, and during a practice swing, you accidentally let go of the club, launching it into the air, people will probably think less of you.
Not everyone has the same reaction to a competent person making a blunder. A follow-up paper published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people’s reaction to the mistake will differ depending on their level of self-esteem. People with lower self-esteem will feel greater admiration for their boss who spills coffee on their shirt while driving to work because it levels the playing field. But people with high self-esteem who are more comfortable around their boss won’t care as much if they make a mistake.
Ultimately, being likable isn’t about impressing people; it’s about knowing how to be human. The key is that once you’ve proven to others that you know what you’re doing, you can feel free to trip up every once in a while because it’ll make them like you even more.
Puberty is a beast, one that most people try not to remember until they’re standing face to face with their own child and their wildly fluctuating hormones. Unfortunately, for those born with female reproductive organs, adolescent puberty is only the first puberty they will experience.
Many people think “second puberty” refers to the symptoms of perimenopause, which is also the result of fluctuating hormones. Perimenopause comes on a little more gradually than puberty. While the smells, mood swings, and raging hormones might feel familiar, those symptoms usually appear years after hormones begin to decline.
There was even a recent moment in Internet history where young women were calling their mid-20s “second puberty.” This was due to them noticing a positive change in appearance that solidified their mature features. Many referred to it as a “glow-up,” focusing on the positive effects of coming out on the other end of puberty. While that’s endearing, puberty is due to an influx of increased hormone levels, which alter the way the world perceives you and how you perceive the world.
Women who have given birth, or will in the future, experience more of a true “second puberty.” This occurs after the birth of their first child, when the mother’s system is flooded with a hormonal shift that literally alters her brain. The “second puberty” birthing people experience is actually called Matrescence, a term meaning the process of becoming a mother coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael.
“The hormonal fluctuations of pregnancy, birth, and lactation initiate rapid and extreme physiological transformations that are unparalleled across the lifespan. These biological changes are accompanied by a dynamic restructuring of the physical, emotional, and social environment. In concert with these adaptations, the maternal brain undergoes significant structural and functional neuroplasticity as well as cognitive adaptations across the peripartum period. The brain is transformed, in preparation for and in response to, a developing child.”
Every person charged with caring for an infant undergoes beneficial cognitive changes. Oxytocin is released in the caregiver’s brain regardless of sex or gender, whether the child is related biologically, through adoption, or fostering. Think of it as nature’s way of trying to encourage the survival of the species.
Current studies show that Matrescence is unique to the birthing person, causing the brain to do more than make cognitive changes. When someone experiences this “second puberty,” the sudden hormonal shifts create structural changes to the brain. A study published by Human Brain Mapping found that adolescent girls and adult first-time mothers had the same monthly measurement of gray matter loss.
“In both cases, these reductions were accompanied by decreases in cortical thickness, surface area, local gyrification index, sulcal depth, and sulcal length, as well as increases in sulcal width,” the authors of the 2019 study explained. “In fact, the changes associated with pregnancy did not differ from those that characterize the transition during adolescence in any of these measures.”
According to studies, the reduction in gray matter caused by Matrescence lasts up to two years postpartum. While the infamous “mommy brain” caused by the loss of gray matter in the hippocampus may be bothersome, it seems to serve a purpose.
Trends in Cognitive Sciences noted, “Lower hippocampal volume at 4 months postpartum is associated with positive mother–child interactions, suggesting hippocampal changes have broad implications in maternal caregiving behavior, beyond cognition.”
This “second puberty” news made its way to social media. You can listen to one Instagram creator share their understanding of Matrescence below:
