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Lessons we should have learned from the liberation of Auschwitz and other Nazi camps

It's been more than 75 years since the last prisoners were freed from Auschwitz. The farther we get from that chapter, the more important it is to focus on the lessons it taught us, lest we ignore the signs of history repeating itself.

Lessons we should have learned from the liberation of Auschwitz and other Nazi camps

From 1940 to 1945, an estimated 1.3 million people were deported to Auschwitz, the largest complex of Nazi concentration camps. More than four out of five of those people—at least 1.1 million people—were murdered there.

On January 27, 1945, Soviet forces liberated the final prisoners from these camps—7,000 people, most of whom were sick or dying. Those of us with a decent public education are familiar with at least a few names of Nazi extermination facilities—Auschwitz, Dachau, Bergen-Belsen—but these are merely a few of the thousands (yes, thousands) of concentration camps, sub camps, and ghettos spread across Europe where Jews and other targets of Hitler's regime were persecuted, tortured, and killed by the millions.


The scale of the atrocity is unfathomable. Like slavery, the Holocaust is a piece of history where the more you learn the more horrifying it becomes. The inhumane depravity of the perpetrators and the gut-wrenching suffering of the victims defies description. It almost becomes too much for the mind and heart to take in, but it's vital that we push through that resistance.

The liberation of the Nazi camps marked the end of Hitler's attempt at ethnic cleansing, and the beginning of humanity's awareness about how such a heinous chapter in human history took place. The farther we get from that chapter, the more important it is to focus on the lessons it taught us, lest we ignore the signs of history repeating itself.

Lesson 1: Unspeakable evil can be institutionalized on a massive scale

Perhaps the most jarring thing about the Holocaust is how systematized it was. We're not talking about humans slaying other humans in a fit of rage or a small number of twisted individuals torturing people in a basement someplace—this was a structured, calculated, disciplined, and meticulously planned and carried out effort to exterminate masses of people. The Nazi regime built a well-oiled killing machine the size of half a continent, and it worked exactly as intended. We often cite the number of people killed, but the number of people who partook in the systematic torture and destruction of millions of people is just as harrowing.

It has now come out that Allied forces knew about the mass killing of Jews as early as 1942—three years before the end of the war. And obviously, there were reports from individuals of what was happening from the very beginning. People often ask why more wasn't done earlier on if people knew, and there are undoubtedly political reasons for that. But we also have the benefit of hindsight in asking that question. I can imagine most people simply disbelieving what was actually taking place because it sounds so utterly unbelievable.

The lesson here is that we have to question our tendency to disbelieve things that sound too horrible to be true. We have evidence that the worst things imaginable on a scale that seems unfathomable are totally plausible.

Lesson 2: Atrocity can happen right under our noses as we go about our daily lives

One thing that struck me as I was reading about the liberation of Auschwitz is that it was a mere 37 miles from Krakow, one of the largest cities in Poland. This camp where an average of 500 people a day were killed, where bodies were piled up like corded wood, where men, women, and children were herded into gas chambers—and it was not that far from a major population center.

And that was just one set of camps. We now know that there were thousands of locations where the Nazis carried out their "final solution," and it's not like they always did it way out in the middle of nowhere. A New York Times report on how many more camps there were than scholars originally thought describes what was happening to Jews and marginalized people as the average person went about their daily lives:

"The documented camps include not only 'killing centers' but also thousands of forced labor camps, where prisoners manufactured war supplies; prisoner-of-war camps; sites euphemistically named 'care' centers, where pregnant women were forced to have abortions or their babies were killed after birth; and brothels, where women were coerced into having sex with German military personnel."

Whether or not the average person knew the full extent of what was happening is unclear. But surely there were reports. And we know how the average person responds to reports, even today in our own country.

How many news stories have we seen of abuses and inhumane conditions inside U.S. immigrant detention camps? What is our reaction when the United Nations human rights chief visits our detention facilities and comes away "appalled"? It's a natural tendency to assume things simply can't be that bad—that's undoubtedly what millions of Germans thought as well when stories leaked through the propaganda.

Lesson 3: Propaganda works incredibly well

Propaganda has always been a part of governance, as leaders try to sway the general populace to support whatever they are doing. But the Nazis perfected the art and science of propaganda, shamelessly playing on people's prejudices and fears and flooding the public with mountains of it.

Hermann Goering, one of Hitler's top political and military figures, explained in an interview late in his life that such manipulation of the masses isn't even that hard.

"The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders," he said. "That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

Terrifyingly true, isn't it? This is why we have to stay vigilant in the face of fear-mongering rhetoric coming from our leaders. When an entire religion or nationality or ethnic group is painted as "dangerous" or "criminal" or "terrorists," we have to recognize that we are being exposed to the same propaganda used to convince Germans that the Nazis were just trying to protect them. Safety and security are powerful human desires that make it easy to justify horrible acts.

Hitler was also great at playing the victim. While marching through Europe, conquering countries and rounding up millions of innocent people to exterminate, he claimed that Germany was the one under attack. Blatant anti-Semitic rhetoric surely fired up Hitler's core supporters, but the message to the average German was that this was all being done in the name of protecting the homeland, rather than a quest for a world-dominating master race.

Lesson 4: Most of us are in greater danger of committing a holocaust than being a victim of one

I had to pause when this realization hit me one day. As fairly average white American, I am in the majority in my country. And as strange as it is to say, that means I have more in common with the Germans who either committed heinous acts or capitulated to the Nazis than I do with the Jews and other targets of the Nazi party. That isn't to say that I would easily go along with mass genocide, but who's to say that I could fully resist the combination of systematic dehumanization, propaganda, and terrorism that led to the Holocaust? We all like to think we'd be the brave heroes hiding the Anne Franks of the world in our secret cupboards, but the truth is we don't really know what we would have done.

Check out what this Army Captain who helped liberate a Nazi camp said about his bafflement at what the Germans, "a cultured people" allowed to happen:

"I had studied German literature while an undergraduate at Harvard College. I knew about the culture of the German people and I could not, could not really believe that this was happening in this day and age; that in the twentieth century a cultured people like the Germans would undertake something like this. It was just beyond our imagination... Captain (Dr.) Philip Leif - 3rd Auxiliary Surgical Group, First Army

Some say that we can gauge what we would have done by examining what we're doing right now, and perhaps they are right. Are we speaking out against our government's cruel family separations that traumatize innocent children? Do we justify travel bans from entire countries because we trust that it's simply our leadership trying to keep us safe? Do we buy into the "Muslims are terrorists" and "undocumented immigrants are criminals" rhetoric?

While it's wise to be wary of comparing current events to the Holocaust, it's also wise to recognize that the Holocaust didn't start with gas chambers. It started with "othering," scapegoating, and fear-mongering. We have to be watchful not only for signs of atrocity, but for the signs leading up to it.

Lesson 5: Teaching full and accurate history matters

There are people who deny that the Holocaust even happened, which is mind-boggling. But there are far more people who are ignorant to the true horrors of it. Reading first-hand accounts of both the people who survived the camps and those who liberated them is perhaps the best way to begin to grasp the scope of what happened.

One small example is Supreme Allied Commander Dwight D. Eisenhower's attempt to describe what he saw when he visited Ohrdruf, a sub-camp of Buchenwald:

"The things I saw beggar description. While I was touring the camp I encountered three men who had been inmates and by one ruse or another had made their escape. I interviewed them through an interpreter. The visual evidence and the verbal testimony of starvation, cruelty and bestiality were so overpowering as to leave me a bit sick. In one room, where they were piled up twenty or thirty naked men, killed by starvation, George Patton would not even enter. He said that he would get sick if he did so. I made the visit deliberately, in order to be in a position to give first-hand evidence of these things if ever, in the future, there develops a tendency to charge these allegations merely to 'propaganda.'"

And of course, the most important narratives to read and try to digest are the accounts of those who survived the camps. Today, 200 survivors of Auschwitz gathered to commemorate the 75th anniversary of its liberation. They warned about the rise in anti-Semitism in the world and how we must not let prejudice and hatred fester. Imagine having to make such a warning seven decades after watching family and friends being slaughtered in front of you.

Let's use this anniversary as an opportunity to dive deeper into what circumstances and environment enabled millions of people to be killed by one country's leadership. Let's learn the lessons the Holocaust has to teach us about human nature and our place in the creation of history. And let's make darn sure we do everything in our power to fend off the forces that threaten to lead us down a similarly perilous path.


This article originally appeared on 01.27.20

34 broken bones, a mural, and Buddy the Elf—what these three things have in common
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The Bank of America Chicago Marathon took place on Sunday, October 12th. Every runner who took on the enormous feat of 26.2 miles is truly an inspiration. We’re proud to share three outstanding stories about the power of community, giving back and crossing the finish line. Not only did they run an outstanding distance, but they each also gave back by fundraising for an organization that changes lives for the better.

Running a marathon is so much more than race day. It’s sticking to a schedule, getting enough rest, learning how to fuel your body for long distances, and—perhaps the most challenging of all—building mental resilience.



Meet Leanne: Running after 34 Bone Fractures

Leanne was only 12 years old when during her middle school cross country practice, she fractured her right tibia, the shin bone in her leg. This wasn’t Leanne’s first time breaking a bone—it was actually her 34th fracture. After many years of being overlooked as "clumsy," Leanne felt immense relief and recognition when a doctor diagnosed her with brittle bone disease, an incredibly rare condition.

Lurie Children’s provided a care plan for Leanne to build strength and start running again. And as of October 12th, Leanne ran her second Bank of America Chicago Marathon. She said in an interview, “I never thought I’d run again. But against the odds, here I am, training for my second Bank of America Chicago Marathon... all because of Lurie Children’s.”

Leanne’s impressive journey is a testament to the incredible research of Lurie Children’s, where she gives back by volunteering at the hospital and running on its behalf. Talk about being a true inspiration.


Meet Everett: Running to Inspire Through Art

Everett is an artist who creates beautiful murals around the city of Chicago. He uses his art as a tool for storytelling for community and connection.

In addition to being an artist, Everett is a runner. He ran the 2025 Bank of America Chicago Marathon on behalf of Peace Runners 773, a non-profit organization that strengthens the community of Chicago. In this video, we follow Everett on a run to visit some of his favorite murals. The run ends at Garfield Park, where Everett just finished a mural that he dedicated to the organization—symbolizing growth, strength and togetherness. Everett didn’t stop there.

While building his strength as a runner, Everett is strengthening his city of Chicago. Through his running and artwork, Everett has brought more awareness and resources to his community.

Meet Joseph: Running on Behalf of Special Olympics


Joseph ran the Chicago Marathon on behalf of Special Olympics, dedicating each mile to one of 26 friends with a developmental disability. The last 1.2 miles were extra special. It was for one of his closest friends, Matt.

In this video, Joseph runs to Matt’s house. For every mile of this training run, he tells us a heartwarming anecdote about Matt. They met at camp and soon, Matt will be a groomsman in Joseph’s wedding. The duo even sends a Christmas card every year—most notably dressing up as Buddy the Elf and sharing a bowl of spaghetti with maple syrup (spoiler: it doesn’t taste good).

As Joseph runs, he says, “Before we get to Matt, a quick note about why I’m running on behalf of Special Olympics. Matt and I love sports. And so do many of my other friends. Donations help provide year-round sports training and competition for more than 20,000 people with intellectual disabilities across Illinois.”

Joseph is the perfect example of inspiration. Not only did he run an entire marathon, but he also found inspiration in his friends who love sports as much as he does.


Leanne, Everett and Joseph are three incredible people who have shown how much strength and perseverance it takes to run a marathon. Each runner is both empowering themselves and their community. Their dedication to the Bank of America Chicago Marathon shows that the people of Chicago have a passion for the city, their neighbors and their personal achievements.

Joy

Six-year study that gave Gen Zers $400 revealed a simple path for long-term happiness

In a world with so many self-help methods, this cut through the noise.

happiness, happiness study, happy students, psychology, students in college, post-its, college students, Cornell

A group of students working on a white board.

Members of Gen Z (those who are 13 to 28) are going through an unprecedented mental health crisis. Forty-two percent of Gen Zers have been diagnosed with a mental health condition, with depression and anxiety leading the list. Over 70% feel stressed about work, money, or the future. And, as the most digitally connected generation, loneliness is at an all-time high.

Many Gen Zers say that social media plays a significant role in their mental health problems, whether that’s being emotionally manipulated by big-tech algorithms or by feeling depressed after comparing themselves with their friends and influencers pretending they live a perfect life.


This mental health crisis has created a world where self-help and therapy speak have become everyday jargon, and young people are an open audience to the world of self-help influencers, happiness hacks, and dopamine detox rituals. However, what if all of this could easily be solved by something relatively as simple as having a purpose in life?

How does a sense of purpose lead to happiness?

Cornell psychologist Anthony Burrow studied how his Gen Z students reacted to being given purpose and found that it drastically improved their happiness. The Contribution Project started in 2019 when Burrow gave students $400 “no strings” contributions to “pursue what matters most,” whether that meant helping themselves, their communities, or family members.

Burrow and his team measured the Gen Zers who received the $400 versus those who didn’t, and shared their results with The Washington Post. Those who received the $400 were able to contribute, scoring much higher than those who did not on sense of belonging, latent well-being, sense of purpose, and feeling useful. These positive feelings lasted for up to eight weeks after they received the contribution.


Over the past six years, more than 1,200 students have received the contributions, and the results strongly support the idea that having a sense of purpose is closely linked to happiness.

“Invite people to think about a contribution they want to make and help them [to] make that contribution, and that person may walk around with greater purpose than if they hadn’t done that,” Burrow told The Washington Post.

Burrow was also happy to find that 95% of the students used their contribution to benefit others.

Gen Zers are having a hard time finding meaning in life

It makes sense that having a sense of purpose could make a big difference in a young person’s life. Traditionally, college is when many people begin building an identity and a sense of purpose, but a recent study found that among young people, meaning is hard to come by.

A recent study found that 58% of young adults said they experienced little to no purpose or meaning in their lives in the past month; half said that their mental health was negatively influenced by “not knowing what to do with my life.”

This comes at a time when many institutions where people found purpose and meaning are on the decline. The same study found those who reported not having felt a sense of purpose or meaning were twice as likely to have mental health challenges, predominantly anxiety and depression.

woman, distress, gen z, mental health challenges A young woman in distress. via Canva/Photos

At a time when so many are struggling with a lack of meaning in their lives, it’s not too surprising that giving them a small sense of purpose did wonders for their mental health. Technology may have solved boredom and given people access to an incredible amount of information, art, and content. But it’s time to look a bit harder at what it doesn’t provide and see how we can bring a sense of purpose to people’s lives.

Education

Social skills expert shares 3 'magic phrases' that make you more likable

Sometimes, we need to overcommunicate how we feel about others.

vanessa van edwards, likability, communications skills, people skills, people laughing, good advice

Vanessa Van Edwards and people at a party.

A familiar misstep people make when trying to be likable is trying to impress others. They want to show they are funny, intelligent, and a great storyteller. They think being the life of the party is the road to likability. However, study after study shows that it’s a lot easier to be likable. All you have to do is show interest in others. To put it simply: If you like people, you will become more likable.

There’s a slight wrinkle in the notion that liking more people makes you more likable. Many people you like aren’t sure that you like them. The psychological phenomenon known as signal amplification bias says it best. We tend to overestimate how clearly we broadcast our feelings and intentions towards others. So, the person we like and who likes us may not know the feeling is mutual.


“We think our signals are obvious,” Vanessa Van Edwards told Steve Bartlett on the Diary of a CEO podcast. “If we like someone or if we’re having a good time, we think, ‘Oh, they for sure know it.’ They don’t.” Van Edwards is a communications expert and the author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People.

To help people clearly communicate their feelings, Van Edwards suggests three “magic phrases” to show you care. Check out the video below.


Phrase 1: ‘I was just thinking of you’

“You think of a lot of people in your life all the time,” she said. “If you are thinking of someone and you can text them: ‘I was just thinking of you, how are you?’ I was just thinking of you, how’d that project go?’ was just thinking of you. It has been a while since we talked.’ You see a movie, you see a documentary, you see a matcha latte, you see a mug, you see a ceramic candle, and you’re like, ‘Ah, this made me think of you,’” Van Edwards said. “My text messages, my conversations, are full of actual moments where I was triggered to think of that person, actually,” she said, noting the importance of being genuine. “If you don’t think of someone, they’re not a person you need to have in your life.”


Phrase 2: ‘You’re always so …’

"So if you're with someone and you're impressed by them or they're interesting or they're funny, say, 'You always make me laugh. You’re always so interesting,’ or ‘You’re always so great in interviews.' Giving them a label that is a positive label is the best gift you can give someone, because it's fighting that signal amplification bias,” she continued.


Phrase 3: ‘Last time we talked, you mentioned …’

“We are so honored when we get brain space—that you remembered and you’re going to bring it up,” she said. “And you specifically bring up something that they lit up with, something they were like, ‘Ah, it was great, it was exciting, it was wonderful.’”


If studies show the more you like other people, the more likable you become, Van Edwards has the next logical step in becoming more likable. She makes it clear that, due to signal amplification bias, many people you like may not even know it. When we employ her three ways to be more likeable, though, we can let people know we like them without making them feel uncomfortable, thus establishing bond to build on.

90-10 rule, happiness, life hacks, woman happy, woman angry, blonde woman

A woman is both happy and angry.

In the field of human psychology, there is a popular concept known as the illusion of control, which states that people believe they have greater control over the events in their lives than they do. If you think about it, a lot of our lives are controlled by chance, whether it's our genetics, the families we were born into, the time and place where we were born, and chance encounters that change the trajectory of our lives, such as the moment we met our spouse or someone with a job opportunity.

People who have it good are more likely to attribute their good fortunes to their effort, while those who are having difficulty getting by are more likely to blame bad luck. No matter how we delude ourselves, one thing is certain: many situations we find ourselves in throughout life are out of our control, and our real power lies in our ability to react.


Knowing how to react to situations beyond our control is the crux of the 90-10 rule.

What is the 90-10 rule?

The 90-10 rule, attributed to Stephen Covey in the bestseller “7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” states that 10% of life is made up of what happens to you, and 90% is decided by how you react.

People often explain the 90-10 rule by sharing a story of a mishap at breakfast.

You are having breakfast in business attire, and your young daughter spills coffee on your shirt. You reprimand her and your spouse for putting the cup of coffee too close to the table's ledge. Your daughter gets upset and misses her school bus. So you have to drive her to school, and because you’re speeding, you get a $180 ticket. You arrive at work late, and the day spirals from there. When you get home from work, you have an annoyed wife and child.

Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is "D".

In an alternative universe, the coffee spills on your shirt, and you forgive your daughter. You change your shirt, your daughter makes the bus, and you get to work five minutes early. Now, instead of having a day that spiraled out of control, taking a moment to see the spilled coffee as an accident changed the entire day.

What happens when people skillfully respond to events out of their control over a long period? Their lives will be completely different than if they chose to take things out of their control personally.

Here are 3 ways to apply the 90-10 rule.

The key is not to take minor inconveniences personally.

1. If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water off a duck's back. You do not have to let the negative comments affect you.

2. If someone cuts you off in traffic, don’t take it personally; who cares if you get to work 10 seconds later? There's no point in letting it ruin your day.

3. If you get to the airport and find out your flight is delayed, don’t get mad at the person working at the ticket counter. It’s beyond their control. The plane will arrive at some point, whether you get worked up or not.

airport, airplane, happy man airport, luggage, flights, A man walking through the airport.via Canva/Photos

The 90-10 rule mirrors the "Let them" theory championed by Mel Robbins, a podcast host, author, motivational speaker, and former lawyer. The first thing is to acknowledge that others are imperfect and that you cannot change them. “People can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves. Most people haven't gone to therapy, they haven't looked at their issues, and frankly, they don't want to. Let them. Let your parents be less than what you deserved," Robbins said in a viral video. "Let your family life be something that isn't a fairy tale. Try to remind yourself that they're just doing the best they can with the resources and the life experiences they have."

Remember, you can’t control everything, but you can choose how you react to minor annoyances. Choose to respond in a skillful, thoughtful manner without taking things seriously, and you can quickly get past the minor annoyances without causing the adverse ripple effect that can ruin your entire day.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.



couple, marriage, food, sharing food, restaurant

Sharing is caring (at restaurants, anyway).

When you decide to marry the person you're madly in love with, it's easy to assume things will just work out. But as we all know from the statistics, that's not really how lifelong commitment works. Relationships are wonderful when they're good, but good relationships rarely just happen on their own. It takes intention and communication and dedication on the part of both partners to have a happy, healthy marriage.

What that looks like is different for every couple, of course, but it's always good to see specific examples of what helps a relationship thrive. Perhaps that's why a wife and husband's video sharing the "7 unspoken rules" of their marriage has nearly 1.5 million views in a week. Not only are Lila and Sean's rules rooted in solid relationship dynamics, but the way they deliver them makes it clear that they truly adore one another.


@liliannawilde

the 7 unspoken rules of our marriage! (except they are kind of spoken rules because we talk too much lol) @Sean Kolar #couple #couplestiktok #couplegoals #marriage #marriedlife

Rule #1: You have to "riff the bit"

Let's say your wife is making dinner and you walk into the kitchen. She says, "Hallo, my dahhling!" as if she's a character in Downton Abbey. What do you do?

"If someone comes in and they're improving—they have a character, or they're talking in a British accent, you gotta go with the joke," says Lila. "It's an improv house. This is 'yes, and'…it's a 'yes, and' kind of environment here." Then she and Sean give a perfect, brief example as they both don a Barbara from "Coffee Talk" on SNL accent.

coffee talk, barbara, snl, talk amongst yourselves, verklempt Barbara from "Coffee Talk" on SNL Giphy

Why it's worth considering: This rule is all about playfulness and creativity and delighting in one another's silliness. It says, "I see your goofy and celebrate it." It also helps you both not take things too seriously.

Rule #2: Grocery shop treat

"Whoever does the grocery shopping has to pick up a sweet treat, a surprise, for the other person," says Sean. "Usually Lili will pick me up a kombucha or something, and I'll pick her up chocolate or flowers."

gif, south park, chocolate, flowers, treats couple chocolate GIF by South Park Giphy

Why it's worth considering: Assuming you're switching off the grocery shopping pretty evenly, this rule is a great opportunity to show thoughtfulness and consideration to your partner. Nothing major, just a little treat. The little things sometimes feel like big things over time.

Rule #3: She gets the rewards

Sean and Lili explain that Lili gets the free coffee on the punch card when they've reached 10 coffees and get the 11th one free. Any time there's a reward, she gets it. They do not explain this one, however…

coffee, rewards, free coffee, free drink, loyalty card She always gets the rewards. Photo credit: Canva

Why it's worth considering: There are two reasons why this rule makes sense. One, it eliminates deciding each time who gets the reward, thereby removing any possibility for bickering or competition. Sometimes a clear rule helps simplify things. Why her and not him? Well, there's plenty of research on the disproportionate burden women bear when it comes to household and family duties, even when a couple tries to even it out. A free coffee once in a while seems like a fair trade off.

Rule #4: A joke is only a joke if we both find it funny

"A joke is only a joke if both of us are laughing, says Sean."

"If one of us is laughing and the other is embarrassed or scared or upset, then it's not a joke," adds Lili. "That can't continue. It's only funny if we both find it funny."

joke, schitt's creek, funny, laughing, bad joke Joking Schitts Creek GIF by CBC Giphy

Why it's worth considering: This is just a good life rule in general. Humor can be a great way to bond, and it can also be used to hurt someone. If only one of you is laughing, it's not funny.

Rule #5: Share everything at a restaurant

"Everything we order, we're splitting," Lili says. "There is nothing that is just yours or just mine." She says it would make her so sad if Sean said, "I don't want you to have a bite of this."

couple, marriage, food, sharing food, restaurant You don't have to go to this length of sharing. Photo credit: Canva

Why it's worth considering: First of all, having this understanding from the get go prevents a lot of annoyance over someone taking bites of your food. Some couples may actually set up an opposite rule—no sharing food at restaurants—and that might work for them, too. But sharing food as a matter of course lets you share the experience together, compare dishes, talk about the flavors, etc. Just make sure you're both cognizant of not hogging anything.

Rule #6: If the dog is comfy on you, you don't have to do anything

"You cannot disrupt the dog," says Lili. "If Beans is cozy, you win, you get to stay cozy with Beans." The other person has to do dishes, bring the person with the dog water, etc.

dog, pets, cozy, couple, marriage Whoever has the dog on their lap must be served. Photo credit: Canva

Why it's worth considering: First of all, this is the rule at most homes with pets that I know. Secondly, it's a sign that you're caring for something together and recognize that caregiving is an important role. Caregiving will be a big part of a lifelong relationship, from raising kids to taking care of aging parents.

Rule #7: The money rule

Lili pulls this from Barbara once again: "I've got two rules for this marriage. Number one, you don't tell me how you make your money. And number two, I don't tell you how I spend it."

lifelong relationship, from raising kids to taking care of aging parents. Mike Myers playing Barbara on SNL Giphy

Why it's worth considering: It's not. It's a joke. (According to Lili in the comments.)

People loved seeing Lili and Sean's rules, calling them "wholesome" and "healthy." While it's not a great idea to have rigid or controlling rules in a relationship, rules that establish healthy boundaries, methods of communication, the way things are done in the household, etc. can actually be a big help to a couple. And while Lili and Sean's "rules" might seem silly on the surface, they're actually rooted in healthy relationship dynamics. As long as a couple comes up with them together, with both people in full agreement, it might be a good idea to create your own "rules" in you relationship. Lili and Sean clearly had fun with this together, and that alone is a promising indicator of a happy marriage.

You can follow Lila and Sean for more on TikTok.