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How I found my life's passion by asking myself these ridiculous questions.

'What's your favorite flavor of shit sandwich, and does it come with an olive?'

One day, when my brother was 18, he waltzed into the living room and proudly announced to my mother and me that one day he was going to be a senator.

My mom probably gave him the “That’s nice, dear,” treatment while I’m sure I was distracted by a bowl of Cheerios or something.

Photo via iStock.


But for 15 years, this purpose informed all my brother’s life decisions: what he studied in school, where he chose to live, who he connected with, and even what he did with many of his vacations and weekends.

And, now, after almost half a lifetime of work , he’s the chairman of a major political party in his city and the youngest judge in the state. In the next few years, he hopes to run for office for the first time.

Don’t get me wrong. My brother is a freak. This basically never happens.

Most of us have no clue what we want to do with our lives. Even after we finish school. Even after we get a job. Even after we’re making money. Between ages 18 and 25, I changed career aspirations more often than I changed my underwear. And even after I had a business, it wasn’t until I was 28 that I clearly defined what I wanted for my life.

Chances are you’re more like me and have no clue what you want to do. It’s a struggle almost every adult goes through: “What do I want to do with my life?” “What am I passionate about?” “What do I not suck at?” I often receive emails from people in their 40s and 50s who still have no clue what they want to do with themselves.

Part of the problem is the concept of “life purpose” itself. The idea that we were each born for some higher purpose and it’s now our cosmic mission to find it. This is the same kind of shaky logic used to justify things like spirit crystals or that your lucky number is 34 (but only on Tuesdays or during full moons).

Here’s the truth: We exist on this Earth for some undetermined period of time. During that time, we do things. Some of these things are important. Some of them are unimportant. And those important things give our lives meaning and happiness. The unimportant ones basically just kill time.

When people say, “What should I do with my life?” or “What is my life purpose?” what they’re actually asking is: “What can I do with my time that is important?”

This is an infinitely better question to ask. It’s far more manageable and it doesn’t have all the ridiculous baggage the “life purpose” question has. There’s no reason for you to be contemplating the cosmic significance of your life while sitting on your couch eating Doritos. Rather, you should be getting off your ass and discovering what feels important to you.

One of the most common email questions I get is people asking me what they should do with their lives, what their “life purpose” is. This is an impossible question for me to answer. After all, for all I know this person is really into knitting sweaters for kittens or filming gay bondage porn in their basement. I have no clue. Who am I to say what’s right or what’s important to them?

Photo via iStock.

After some research, I put together a series of questions to help people figure out for themselves what is important to them and what can add more meaning to their lives.

These questions are by no means exhaustive or definitive. In fact, they’re a little bit ridiculous. But I made them that way because discovering purpose in our lives should be something that’s fun and interesting, not a chore.

1. What's your favorite flavor of shit sandwich, and does it come with an olive?

Ah, yes. The all-important question. What flavor of shit sandwich would you like to eat? Because here’s the sticky little truth about life that they don’t tell you at high school pep rallies: Everything sucks, some of the time.

Now, that probably sounds incredibly pessimistic of me. And you may be thinking, “Hey, Mr. Manson, turn that frown upside-down.”

But I actually think this is a liberating idea.

Everything involves sacrifice. Everything includes some sort of cost. Nothing is pleasurable or uplifting all the time. So the question becomes: What struggle or sacrifice are you willing to tolerate? Ultimately, what determines our ability to stick with something we care about is our ability to handle the rough patches and ride out the inevitable rotten days.

If you want to be a brilliant tech entrepreneur but you can’t handle failure, then you’re not going to make it far. If you want to be a professional artist but you aren’t willing to see your work rejected hundreds — if not thousands — of times, then you’re done before you start. If you want to be a hotshot court lawyer but can’t stand the 80-hour work weeks, then I’ve got bad news for you.

What unpleasant experiences are you able to handle? Are you able to stay up all night coding? Are you able to have people laugh you off the stage over and over again until you get it right? Are you able to put off starting a family for 10 years?

What shit sandwich do you want to eat? Because we all get served one eventually. Might as well pick one with an olive.

2. What is true about you today that would make your 8-year-old self cry?

When I was a child, I used to write stories. I used to sit in my room for hours by myself writing away about aliens, superheroes, great warriors, my friends and family. Not because I wanted anyone to read it. Not because I wanted to impress my parents or teachers. But for the sheer joy of it.

And then, for some reason, I stopped. And I don’t remember why.

We all have a tendency to lose touch with what we loved as a child. Something about the social pressures of adolescence and professional pressures of young adulthood squeezes the passion out of us. We’re taught that the only reason to do something is if we’re rewarded for it in some way.

It wasn’t until I was in my mid-20s that I rediscovered how much I loved writing. And it wasn’t until I started my business that I remembered how much I enjoyed building websites — something I did in my early teens just for fun.

The funny thing, though, is that if my 8-year-old self had asked my 20-year-old self, “Why don’t you write anymore?” and I replied, “Because I’m not good at it” or “Because nobody would read what I write” or “Because you can’t make money doing that,” not only would I have been completely wrong, but that 8-year-old version of myself would have probably started crying.

3. What makes you forget to eat and poop?

We’ve all had that experience where we get so wrapped up in something that minutes turn into hours and hours turn into “Holy crap, I forgot to have dinner.”

Supposedly, in his prime, Isaac Newton’s mother had to regularly come in and remind him to eat because he would go entire days so absorbed in his work that he would forget.

I used to be like that with video games. This probably wasn’t a good thing. In fact, it was kind of a problem for many years. I would sit and play video games instead of doing more important things, like studying for an exam, showering regularly, or speaking to other humans face-to-face.

It wasn’t until I gave up the games that I realized my passion wasn’t for the games themselves (although I do love them): My passion is for improvement, being good at something and then trying to get better. The games themselves — the graphics, the stories — were cool, but I can easily live without them. It’s the competition — with others, but especially with myself — that I thrive on.

And when I applied that obsessiveness for improvement and self-competition to an internet business and to my writing, well, things took off in a big way.

Maybe for you, it’s something else. Maybe it’s organizing things efficiently or getting lost in a fantasy world or teaching somebody something or solving technical problems. Whatever it is, don’t just look at the activities that keep you up all night, but look at the cognitive principles behind those activities that enthrall you. Because they can easily be applied elsewhere.

4. How can you better embarrass yourself?

Before you are able to be good at something and do something important, you must first suck at something and have no clue what you’re doing. That’s pretty obvious. And in order to suck at something and have no clue what you’re doing, you must embarrass yourself in some shape or form, often repeatedly. And most people try to avoid embarrassing themselves — namely, because it sucks.

Ergo, due to the transitive property of awesomeness, if you avoid anything that could potentially embarrass you, then you will never end up doing something that feels important.

Yes, it seems that, once again, it all comes back to vulnerability.

Right now, there’s something you want to do, something you think about doing, something you fantasize about doing, yet you don’t do it. You have your reasons, no doubt. And you repeat these reasons to yourself ad infinitum.

But what are those reasons? Because I can tell you right now that if those reasons are based on what others would think, then you’re screwing yourself over big time.

If your reasons are something like, “I can’t start a business because spending time with my kids is more important to me,” or “Playing Starcraft all day would probably interfere with my music, and music is more important to me,” then, OK. Sounds good.

But if your reasons are, “My parents would hate it,” or “My friends would make fun of me,” or “If I failed, I’d look like an idiot,” then chances are, you’re actually avoiding something you truly care about — because caring about that thing is what scares the shit out of you, not what mom thinks or what Timmy next-door says.

Living a life avoiding embarrassment is akin to living a life with your head in the sand. Photo via iStock.

Great things are, by their very nature, unique and unconventional. Therefore, to achieve them, we must go against the herd mentality. And to do that is scary.

Embrace embarrassment. Feeling foolish is part of the path to achieving something important, something meaningful. The more a major life decision scares you, chances are the more you need to be doing it.

5. How are you going to save the world?

In case you haven’t seen the news lately, the world has a few problems. And by “a few problems,” what I really mean is, “everything is fucked and we’re all going to die.”

I’ve harped on this before (and the research also bears it out), but to live a happy and healthy life, we must hold on to values that are greater than our own pleasure or satisfaction.

So pick a problem and start saving the world. There are plenty to choose from. Our screwed-up education systems, economic development, domestic violence, mental health care, governmental corruption. Hell, I just saw an article this morning on sex trafficking in the U.S. and it got me all riled up and wishing I could do something. It also ruined my breakfast.

Find a problem you care about and start solving it. Obviously, you’re not going to fix the world’s problems by yourself, but you can contribute and make a difference. And that feeling of making a difference is ultimately what’s most important for your own happiness and fulfillment.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Gee, I read all this horrible stuff and I get all pissed off too, but that doesn’t translate to action, much less a new career path.”

Glad you asked …

6. If you absolutely had to leave the house all day, every day, where would you want to go and what would you do?

For many of us, the enemy is just old-fashioned complacency. We get into our routines. We distract ourselves. The couch is comfortable. The Doritos are cheesy.

And nothing new happens.

This is a problem.

What most people don’t understand is that passion is the result of action, not the cause of it.

Discovering what you’re passionate about in life and what matters to you is a full contact sport, a trial and error process. None of us knows exactly how we feel about an activity until we actually do the activity.

Ask yourself, if someone forced you to leave your house every day for everything except for sleep, how would you choose to occupy yourself? And no, you can’t just go sit in a coffee shop and browse Facebook. You probably already do that.

Let’s pretend there are no useless websites, no video games, no TV. You have to be outside of the house all day every day until it’s time to go to bed — where would you go and what would you do?

Sign up for a dance class? Join a book club? Get another degree? Invent a new form of irrigation system that can save the thousands of children’s lives in rural Africa? Learn to hang glide?

What would you do with all that time?

If it strikes your fancy, write down a few answers and then, you know, go out and actually do them. Bonus points if it involves embarrassing yourself.

7. If you knew you were going to die one year from today, what would you do and how would you want to be remembered?

Most of us don’t like thinking about death. It freaks us out. But thinking about our own death surprisingly has a lot of practical advantages. One of those advantages is that it forces us to zero in on what’s actually important in our lives and what’s just frivolous and distracting.

When I was in college, I used to walk around and ask people, “If you had a year to live, what would you do?”

As you can imagine, I was a huge hit at parties. A lot of people gave vague and boring answers. A few drinks were nearly spit on me. But it did cause people to really think about their lives in a different way and re-evaluate what their priorities were.

This man’s headstone will read: “Here lies Greg. He watched every episode of ’24.' Twice.” Photo via iStock.

What is your legacy going to be? What are the stories people are going to tell when you’re gone? What is your obituary going to say? Is there anything to say at all? If not, what would you like it to say? How can you start working toward that today?

And, again, if you fantasize about your obituary saying a bunch of badass shit that impresses a bunch of random other people, then you’re failing here.

When people feel like they have no sense of direction, no purpose in their life, it’s often because they don’t know what’s important to them or what their values are.

And when you don’t know what your values are, then you’re essentially taking on other people’s values and living other people’s priorities instead of your own. This is a one-way ticket to unhealthy relationships and eventual misery.

Discovering one’s “purpose” in life essentially boils down to finding those one or two things that are bigger than yourself and bigger than those around you.

And to find them you must get off your couch and act — and take the time to think beyond yourself, to think greater than yourself, and, paradoxically, to imagine a world without yourself.

True

Food banks are a community staple for millions of Americans. Not only do they provide nutritional assistance to low-income families, they’re also often one of the few places where people can get non-food essentials like diapers, toiletries, paper towels, clothing and more. For the 44 million people in the United States facing food insecurity, pantries can literally be a lifeline.

But that lifeline is at risk. Food pantries rely on donations, both from individuals and government programs, to stay stocked. Rising poverty levels and budget cuts mean that food pantries sometimes can’t meet the demands of their communities—and as a result, families go without.

No person should struggle for basic needs—which is why Land O’Lakes is teaming up with Clove in the name of comfort ahead of the 2025 holiday season.

Comfort, meet comfort.

A partnership between a farmer-owned cooperative and a modern footwear brand might seem like an unusual pairing. But the reality is that both organizations provide things that are enjoyable and much needed for American families.

You might be surprised to learn, for example, that dairy is one of the most requested but least-donated items at food banks around the nation. From a nutritional lens, dairy is a source of high-quality protein that provides 3 of 4 nutrients—calcium, potassium and vitamin D—that low-income households are at risk of missing from their diets.

But on a larger scale, dairy provides comfort. Items like butter, milk and cream are in high demand, particularly around the end of the year since so many families use these items for baking holiday treats. And while shoes can be stylish gifts, they’re also a basic necessity for hardworking frontline workers who provide care for others and spend hours on their feet. In fact, 96 million people in the U.S. spend their work shift standing.

"We are so excited to collaborate with Clove Shoes and take a moment to celebrate the color of the moment, but also our everyday favorite, butter yellow," said Heather Anfang, president of Land O'Lakes Dairy Foods. "As a company who shares our values of community, hard work and comfort, we are thrilled for the launch of their shoe but also for our shared donation to those in need in an important area for our two brands in Philadelphia."

Meaningful giving when people need it most

Together, the organizations have donated dozens of sneakers and more than 3,750 pounds of butter to Philabundance, one of the largest food banks in Philadelphia and part of Feeding America’s nationwide network of food banks, pantries, and meal programs. As they team up to donate needed supplies, they’re also helping families feel nourished—inside and out—ahead of the cold winter months.

"As a Philadelphia-based brand, we’re proud to give back to the community we call home—nourishing our city and supporting those who care every day," shares Jordyn Amoroso, Co-founder and CBO. Clove has also gifted 88 shoes to the students enrolled at Philabundance Community Kitchen: a free, life-changing workforce development program run by Philabundance.

At a time when so many are stretched thin and families are moving into the holiday season facing food insecurity, collaborations like these can provide an unexpected value—a chance to revitalize local communities, to nourish families, and show how comfort can take many different forms.

Learn more about this unexpected partnership here.

Learning

27 English words people have a hard time enunciating properly, even native speakers

"The word I notice people struggle with is 'vulnerable'. Something about that N following an L is tricky."

Image via Canva/Povozniuk

English words that are difficult to enunciate.

The English language is hard to master, even for native speakers. With over an estimated one million words in the language, not only are English words hard to memorize—they can be hard to properly pronounce and enunciate. Getting tripped up with pronunciation can make your communication unclear, or worse—make you sound uneducated.

As American English teacher Vanessa explains, many mispronounced words are common and used in daily conversation due to tricky consonants and vowels in English words. But by knowing the proper pronunciation, it can help you become a more confident speaker, which is why she shared 33 words that are hard for English language learners to pronounce, such as "probably," "drawer," and "sixth."

On the subreddit r/words, a person posed the question: "What's a word you've noticed many native English speakers have difficulty enunciating even though the word is used fairly often?"

Turns out, there are a menagerie of words people notoriously stumble over. These are 27 English words that people say are the hardest to enunciate.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Tricky 'R' words

"The word I notice people struggle with is 'vulnerable'. Something about that N following an L is tricky." - common_grounder

"Rural." - Silent-Database5613

“'Nucular' for nuclear." - throwawayinthe818

"Remuneration v renumeration (first one is correct)." - RonanH69

"February. It sounds like you're pronouncing it like it's spelled Febuary. But it's spelled February." - SDF5-0, ShadedSpaces

"Mirror. Some people pronounce it 'meer'." - weinthenolababy, diversalarums

"Anthropomorphize is a word I have to use semi-frequently with limited success each attempt." - ohn_the_quain

"I can’t say the phrase 'rear wheel' without considerable effort." - ohn_the_quain

"Eraser (erasure, but they're talking about the pink rubber thing)." - evlmgs

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Multiple syllables

"Exacerbated vs exasperated." - SNAFU-lophagus

"'Asterisk'. A lot of people wind up inadvertently name-checking Asterix. I think it's best for those who struggle to use the alternative name for that punctuation mark, the 'Nathan Hale', after the American patriot who famously declared, 'I can only regret that I have but one asterisk for my country!'" - John_EightThirtyTwo

"I realized recently I have always mispronounced mischievous. It's mis-chiv-us, not mis-chee-vee-us. I don't know if I've ever heard anyone pronounce that correctly." - callmebigley"

'Supposebly' [supposedly]. Drives me up the wall." - BlushBrat

"Library. My coworker knows I hate it, so he’ll say Liberry every time." - Jillypenny"ET cetera, not 'ect' cetera. I think people are used to seeing the abbreviation etc and since there is no diphthong tc in English their mind bends it into ect." - AdFrequent4623

"The amount of people who say Pacific when they're trying to stay specific is pretty alarming. I'm not even sure if they know it's a different word sometimes." - Global-Discussion-41

"Then there was my old boss who would confidently and consistently use the word tenant when he meant tenet." - jaelith"

"Probably." - Rachel_Silver

"Contemplate. It's one of those word I hear people stumble over more than anything, often it comes out as Comtemplate, Contempate or a combination of both." - megthebat49

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Foods

"Turmeric. People drop the first R. It drives me nuts!" - Jillypenny

"Oh, and it’s espresso, no X [ex-presso]." - Jillypenny

"Also cardamom with an N." - nemmalur

"Pumpkin (punkin)." - evlmgs

espresso, espresso gif, sipping espresso, espresso drink, drinking espresso sipping modern family GIF Giphy

Awkward vowels

"Crayon 👑. My ex pronounced it 'cran'. Drove me up a wall." - rickulele, premeditatedlasagna

'Mute' for moot. A good friend of mine, who's extremely intelligent and articulate otherwise, says that. Unfortunately, it's a word she likes to use. I haven't had the heart to tell her she's pronouncing it incorrectly, and it's been three decades." NewsSad5006, common_grounder

"Jewelry." - weinthenolababy

"I hear grown adults calling wolves woofs and they're not doing it to be funny." - asexualrhino

Family

Retired teacher saw a lot of parenting mistakes throughout her career. This was the biggest.

Take it from someone who's seen thousands of kids grow up in the blink of an eye.

A child who disagrees with her mother.

Let's do a little bit of quick math. If an elementary school teacher starts their job immediately after finishing college and then works until they are 65, they’ll likely teach over 1,200 students and interact with around 2,000 parents. That type of experience, paired with a great understanding of children, provides teachers with incredible insight into what makes a great parent.

That experience can also help people understand where many parents need help these days. Elena Nicolaou, senior editor for “The Today Show,” asked her mother, a retired elementary school teacher, to share the most significant parenting mistake she had seen throughout her career, and it’s disappointing to hear. “They didn’t enjoy them,” she said. “Kids are fun. You’ve got to enjoy them. They wanted them to be something that — most of us aren’t exactly what other people want us to be — so enjoy the kid you have.”

“I enjoyed you,” the retired teacher said while looking at her daughter.

@elenanico22

Lisa says it like it is #momlife #momsoftiktok #momwisdom #momtok #momhumor #parenting #parentingwisdom

What’s one of the biggest mistakes parents make today?

The teacher’s advice reminds parents everywhere to see their children for who they are, not who they want them to be. Because there’s nothing worse in this world than being a square peg that our parents are trying to squeeze into a round hole. You may want your child to excel in sports, but maybe they are happiest and most successful in theater. You may push your child to be in beauty pageants when they want to play music. You may want your child to be stoic when they are really sensitive and artistic.

The teacher’s advice suggests that parents should help their children become their best rather than shaping them into something that conflicts with their inner nature.

parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, teachers, retired teachers, A father and son talking together.via Canva/Photos

What is the problem with strict parenting?

The retired teacher shared what happens when parents push their children too far by using the example of a famous person at the school where she taught. “There was one very famous parent who, unfortunately, is sort of still involved now in politics,” the teacher said. “But he was a doctor then, and he was very strict about what his kids could eat. Like, super strict. So, of course, what did the kids want? Everything they couldn't have.”

There’s a reason why kids who have overly strict parents often rebel against how they were raised, whether it’s in a repressive household where they aren’t allowed to watch cartoons or a health-obsessed home where they couldn’t enjoy the occasional cookie. It’s a psychological phenomenon called “reactence.” When people feel their freedom is being threatened, they will become motivated to do the opposite of what they feel pressured to do. This can also be a problem when children are pushed to be something they are not.

parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, teachers, retired teachers, A mom and daughter.via Canva/Photos

“I call it the picture frame parent. As long as the kid looks like the perfect kid in a frame on their desk and the kid doesn’t mess up big enough to break that image, it’s all good,” one commenter wrote. “Toddler teacher. Same. So heartbreaking. I saw it a lot when I worked with highly educated parents with high incomes,” another added.

Some chimed in with sympathy for parents who are working hard and can't give their children the attention they deserve. "Parents are stressed, and they don’t realize how quickly childhood goes by," a commenter wrote. "We do enjoy our kids, but most of us have no village. It’s exhausting," another wrote.

A great carpenter cuts with the grain just as a seasoned sailor adjusts to the wind and a master chef seasons according to taste, not just the recipe. According to this retired teacher, a good parent sees their child for who they are and tries to develop them into the best version of themselves, rather than pushing them to be someone they are not.

This article originally appeared earlier this year. It has been updated.

Remember things being built to last?

Unfortunately, most Americans are well aware of shrinkflation, where food companies reduce the sizes of their products while the price remains the same at the grocery store. You see this in fast food restaurants when you pick up a burger and feel like your hand has grown a few inches, and at the supermarket when you buy a box of cookies, it weighs less than it did a few weeks ago. Companies use this strategy when they think you’ll be less likely to notice a dip in quantity than a hike in the price.

We see something similar in the world of retail, particularly fast fashion. Fast fashion offers cheaper garments made from low-quality materials that last about as long as the trend does, so people can throw them away and buy the next hot thing. This can be a real problem because fast fashion harms the environment and leads to exploitative labor practices. And the tough part is—even for the most conscious of consumer, it's hard to escape from.

Here's a prime example of what this looks like in the real world. A few months ago, a TikTokker named Tom (@SideMoneyTom), popular for making videos about consumer products, went viral for a video where he called out shoe manufacturers for dropping their quality while keeping prices high. “So many of you guys want to shoot the messenger, but look, it's not my fault shoes are made out of Styrofoam and oil now,” Tom says in a TikTok with over 528,000 views. “It's literally every shoe you look at now. It's not even just the cheap ones. I can find hundred dollar plus pairs of shoes all day long with glue squeezing out of their Styrofoam cracks.”

@sidemoneytom

Replying to @Oscar Magaña shoes are done #fyp #shoes #foryou

Tom notes that recently, shoes have been made with foam soles instead of rubber. Both have pros and cons. Foam is a little more comfortable, but rubber lasts a lot longer. Rubber shoes keep shape and support over time and are much more durable. Conversely, foam shoes compress over time, losing their support and comfort. When companies sell cheaper shoes that wear out more quickly, they make much more money because you must keep replacing them.

In the video, Tom adds that many companies that used to have shoes made with rubber heels, such as Carhartt and Timberland, have switched to foam. This is an interesting choice for brands that pride themselves on selling durable products.

Cora Harrington, a writer and lingerie expert, says that companies aren't entirely to blame. Americans don’t want to pay higher prices. “People don’t exactly want to pay more for all that stuff,” Harrington told Vox. "So what has to happen if everything is more expensive and the customers still want to pay the same price, something has to be cut and that’s often going to be the quality of the garment.”

“There is an entire generation of consumers at this point that doesn’t actually know what high-quality clothing feels like and looks like,” Harrington continues. “It gets easier, I think, for consumers to just not know any better.”

@sidemoneytom

Replying to @donkles #shoes #fyp #sketchers #nike

Many commenters have noticed the decline in shoe quality and praised Tom for pointing it out. "I am so happy I’m not the only one who is baffled by shoes being made of styrofoam and then being upcharged for them," one commenter wrote. "When shoes started being named some version of 'Air Light Cloud float,' my thought was it was because they went from quality rubber to cheap foam and less materials,” another commenter added.

Tom believes the decline in shoe quality is an example of a more significant trend affecting American consumers' products: quality is decreasing while prices remain the same. “The quality of everything is going to hell, and the prices are going up," Tom concludes his video. "The problem is, so many of us have just become used to it that we keep buying it, and we basically allow them to dumb down the quality of everything. Everything in our lives. These shoes are just the tip of the iceberg. Start thinking about it in your life. What are you gonna allow to be garbage quality?"

This article originally appeared in March. It has been updated.

A woman dealing with burnout.

A recent poll found that Millennials are the generation most likely to suffer from workplace burnout. A poll by Seramount, a global talent services firm, found that 67% of American workers report at least one symptom of burnout, and it's hitting younger workers hardest. Over 70% of Millennials (77%) and Gen Zers (72%) experience at least one burnout symptom, compared to Gen X (62%) and Boomers (32%).

Why is it that burnout hits Millennials so much harder than even its younger cohorts? “Millennials already weathered several seasons of significant turmoil during their relatively short careers, from the Great Recession to the COVID-19 pandemic,” said Diana Forster, Senior Director of Qualitative Research at Seramount. “Now, many are in mid-level management roles with increased responsibilities, intensifying stress and burnout.”


Why do Millennials suffer from burnout?

Dr. Sarah Nicholls, a former emergency room doctor and current life coach specializing in burnout, laid out the reasons why Millennials feel so "lazy" by asking herself 11 rapid-fire questions.

@drsarahnicholls

it's a mystery 🤷‍♀️ Find the full 'am I lazy or am I burnt out' video on my youtube channel

The rapid-fire questions asked by Dr. Nicholls included some textbook symptoms of burnout:

"Do you work an incredibly demanding job?"

"Have you been working through your lunch break and finishing late every day?"

"Do you say yes anytime someone asks you for a favor?"

"Have you been thinking about work all the time and feel like you never really get a chance to switch off?"

"Do you have loads of unread messages from friends and family, and now you feel like a bad friend on top of everything else because you don’t have the energy to read and reply?"

The vast majority of commenters on the video thought that Dr. Nicholls was spot on in her description of why Millennials feel so burnt out and lazy these days. “Well, this is both specific and accurate,” lifewithtedanddougal wrote. “Where’d you get that footage of me on the sofa?” Heather Annie added.

burnout, millennial, work, tired, lazy, office A woman dealing with burnout.via Canva/Photos


How to prevent burnout

Many Millennials are burned out because they don’t feel they can keep up with their professional and social obligations. Dr. Molly Moore says the first step someone dealing with burnout can take is to start setting boundaries. Dr. Moore, a licensed psychologist with over 10 years of experience in mental health and wellness currently has a virtual private practice specializing in working with high-achieving women who experience anxiety, imposter syndrome, and burnout.

“Setting boundaries can be hard for many of my high-achieving clients who thrive off feeling productive and getting recognition. But burnout can stem from a lack of boundaries in our personal and professional lives. Boundaries can help high-achieving folks be more present and thrive in both their personal and professional lives,” Dr. Moore told Upworthy. “Some examples of boundaries may look like: not answering emails or taking work calls after hours, communicating clearly about your capacity and response time, delegating tasks that you do not have time or space for, utilizing their PTO (most of my clients have LOTS of PTO time that they have trouble utilizing), and taking multiple short breaks during the day.”

burnout, millennial, work, tired, lazy, office A woman dealing with burnout.via Canva/Photos

How to recover from burnout

For those dealing with burnout and looking to regain their energy, Dr. Sarah Boss from The Balance Rehab Clinic says you have to be intentional about rebuilding your resilience.

“You can’t eliminate stress, but you can train your system to recover from it. That means prioritizing proper sleep, balanced nutrition, daily movement, and moments of genuine downtime. I often talk about mindful rest—consciously choosing to pause and recharge instead of collapsing from exhaustion. It’s about actively scheduling recovery, whether that’s a walk, sitting in the sun, or simply being present with yourself. If you learn to regulate your stress response daily, burnout becomes far less likely,” Boss told Upworthy. “Most people wait until they have 'time' to recover, and that’s the myth that causes burnout in the first place. We can’t wait for space to appear to regulate ourselves; we have to build it into our daily schedule.”

It can feel impossible to balance work and career when there are so many demands on your energy and attention. But our experts believe that with a little work, anything is possible. Setting boundaries and allowing for recovery time can help you navigate this stressful time by cultivating greater focus and energy.

Parenting coach and grandma says unruly kids, enabled by parents, are fracturing families.

Being a parent isn't easy. Being a grandparent isn't easy. Apparently, one of the hardest jobs of all is each of them trying to get along with the other in a modern family. Conflict between parents and grandparents is nothing new, but it certainly feels like Millennials and Boomers are having an extremely hard time seeing eye to eye in many families.

Parenting coach and grandmother Jane Farano has a theory about why many grandparents are pulling away and engaging less with their grandkids. She says it comes down to "one reason."

"Anyone noticing this trend of the younger generation wanting nothing to do with grandparents?" Farano asks in a recent social media video.

She says grandparents reach out to her all the time and say that they're in pain. They don't feel close to their grandchildren or valued in their families.

"I’m seeing more and more grandparents who don’t want to spend time with their grandkids. Yes, there are many reasons for that—distance, health, family tension—but sometimes it’s deeper. Sometimes, it’s because the behavior of the grandchildren has become unbearable. And that’s not judgment—it’s exhaustion," she writes in the caption on Instagram.

"I'll be up front with you," Farano continues, narrating the video. "Parents, are you raising your kids in a way that their behavior is so bad that your grandparents are struggling to want to be around them?"

Those are strong words. But Farano's goal isn't necessarily to shame, rather it's to help families work through the issues that may be keeping them from a better, more loving connection—even if her message comes off a little harsh.

Farano's video caused a major stir, piling up over two million views on Facebook and nearly three million on Instagram. Her words, quite clearly, struck a nerve with both parents and grandparents alike.

Many viewers actually agreed with Farano's controversial observations, pointing to "gentle parenting" and helicopter parenting approaches, along with plentiful screen time, that they claim create anxious and rude kids. It's not just grandparents who see it that way, either. Teachers are quitting the profession in droves and worsening student behavior is one of the leading causes, and it's been documented that kids today have more trouble regulating their emotions and behaviors.

"My dad and his wife struggle to see my brothers kids because his wife has so many rules for them to even see the kids, and she has to be there, and they walk on eggshells with her," one Instagram commenter noted.

"The old fashioned stuff worked now we have a bunch of disrespectful kids that don’t want to be told to do anything," another added.

A grandmother on Facebook, Aleisha Knowles, shared her own heartbreaking story of struggling to connect with her granddaughter: "When I pick her up from her mom, my granddaughter (7) always acts like she doesn’t like me at all. It ... takes several hours for her to not be sassy or rude, but once we get to my house she remembers what is expected of her (show respect, please and thank you, etc.) then we have a great time with so much love. ... [But] when I drop her off, she is back to acting like she doesn’t like me or I annoy her. I don’t get my feelings hurt anymore and I’ve learned to get my hug and say goodbye before we leave for our drive back to her mom. I struggled with it the last few years thinking that she really doesn’t like to be around me, but I just follow her lead and know what to expect. But it can be hard on this Granny’s heart."

grandparents, boomers, boomer grandparents, parenting, dads, moms, kids, family, conflict Grandparents say kid's behavior is getting worse. Photo by Danie Franco on Unsplash

Many grandparents echoed the same sentiment: Kids who are aloof, distracted by phones, rude, or disinterested in spending time together make it difficult for them to get more involved. However, one big and obvious question looms: Isn't this just what kids have always been like?

Many of the current generation of parents, especially the Gen Xers, were famously known as "latchkey kids." Their parents spent little time with them and they were often left to fend for themselves. There are jokes, memes, and reenactments galore of young Gen X kids coming home from school to an empty house with instructions to make themselves dinner and do some chores.

So, maybe the current crop of Boomer grandparents has unrealistic expectations of what it's really like to try to spend time with a hormonal, immature, unpredictable kid.

"This generation of grandparents dropped their kids off at their parents house so they didn’t have to deal with their children- they just don’t like children," one commenter wrote.

"It often feels like the boomer generation struggles to see the good we're trying to do for our kids and the cycles we're trying to break. Admitting fault isn't easy, but knowing better should lead to doing better. Unfortunately, that self-reflection can be tough when everything feels personal," said another.

It's also worth noting that about one in five American children are neurodivergent, which frequently comes with a host of minor and major behavior problems. Parents today are armed with far better diagnostics and way more information and training on how to manage a kid with special needs. It's safe to say that a lot of grandparents were never taught how to handle children with autism, ADHD, OCD, and more—and some are even skeptical of the diagnoses themselves.

grandparents, boomers, boomer grandparents, parenting, dads, moms, kids, family, conflict Despite the narratives, there are a lot of grandparents out there that have healthy, loving relationships with the grandkids. Photo by Isaac Quesada on Unsplash

Farano's post, however, also brought out many beautiful stories of families that have managed to navigate these conflicts and make it all work. Grandparents who step in to care for children while the parents work, and who are included and honored and valued for their wisdom and help. That's the goal we're all working toward.

Many families can get there with better communication. Niloufar Esmaeilpour, a Registered Clinical Counsellor and Founder at Lotus Therapy & Counselling Centre recommends a family meeting where "each person has a turn to speak without interruption. Grandparents can inform everyone about what behaviors they find hurtful or frustrating, and parents can explain the reasoning behind modern disciplinary methods or rules within the home."

It may not solve everything, but when these frustrations are kept unsaid, all parties get resentful and that's really when the family units begin to fracture.