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Identity

Hilarious skit illustrates the problem with 'Where are you from?' line of questioning

A simple turn of the tables makes it crystal clear.

stereotypes, racial bias, comedy

There's no such thing as "a regular American."

There's nothing wrong with asking someone where they're from—in fact, it's a normal conversation starter among a lot of humans around the world. The follow-ups to the initial question, however, can turn problematic quite quickly when there are racial and cultural assumptions,biases and stereotypes underlying the questioning.

Unfortunately, that's all too often the case. Frequently, when the question is asked of non-white people in the U.S., "Where are you from?" leads to "No, where are you really from?" which then leads to an awkward ancestral analysis and an implicit "othering" that the questioner is often oblivious to.

That obliviousness isn't charming or harmless, as a video sketch played out by actors Stella Choe and Scott Beehner shows.


The "What Kind of Asian are You?" video from Ken Tanaka, originally released in 2013, starts with a woman on a trail stretching for a jog. A man comes up to her and starts chatting with her, and at first she seems interested. But then he almost immediately asks her where she's from while also telling her, "Your English is perfect."

She tells him she's from San Diego, but by the look on her face she clearly anticipates what's coming next. And sure enough, what follows is a predictable series of increasingly offensive questions and responses, which the character in the sketch probably just considers "friendly get-to-know-you talk."

But when the woman turns the tables and asks him the same exact series of questions and responds with exaggerated or inaccurate cultural stereotypes, he acts like she's the weird one.

Watch:

People who have been on the receiving end of these kinds of questions and assumptions have shared the video multiple times over the years since it came out, resulting in several waves of virality. And commenters have shared what they love about the video.

"It's the subtle things in this that make it the more awesome," wrote one person. "Like how she amalgamates in Irish stereotypes (Guinness, Top o' the mornin' to ye) with English stereotypes... the same way people like that guy mix Chinese, Japanese, Korean etc. stereotypes together as if those nations were the same thing."

"I'd just like to point out that while a lot of you think this is a parody video and this guy is a characterized, over-the-top version of a person, it's not," wrote another. "This is my life (minus me jogging and being as funny back). And it's not even a compilation of lots of mini experiences all summarized in one video to make even more of a point. In fact, if anything, I think it's missing the part where the man then tells her about how his last 5 girlfriends were all Asian and how he has learned how to make awesome spring rolls, where he starts speaking Korean at her, and then proceeds to ask if she has a boyfriend. Because then, it would be real life."

"This is an actual conversation I've had!!!" shared another. "So funny to see it here, wish I could've had a good comeback for it like this!"

Some people pointed out that the woman said her great-grandmother was from Seoul while the man said his grandparents were from England. That would technically make her more of "a regular American" than he is. (Unless, of course, "regular American" just means white. Ahem.)

Choe and Beehner also had some fun with the comments section, reading aloud some of the affirming as well as some of the more obtuse and/or racist responses to the original video. It's amazing.

You can find more Ken Tanaka videos on YouTube.

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Those of us who love being verbose may think the world loves us because of how well we can talk. But the person sitting in front of you has a lot to say, and nothing makes them feel better during a conversation than your undivided attention.

As the old saying goes, we never quite remember everything someone has said to us, but we’ll never forget how they made us feel. When you actively listen to your conversation partner, they feel that you value them and are receptive to their needs. It also eases any feelings of conflict or resentment.

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To add to the confusion, parents of newborns are often sleep deprived and stressed because of their new arrivals. So they have to be extra careful not to overfeed one or give the other a double dose of medication.

The stress was so intense for a mother of identical twins that she got law enforcement involved.

Today.com reports that Sofia Rodríguez, 25, of Córdoba, Argentina, recently went viral on Twitter after tweeting in Spanish that she had to take her newborn babies to the police department to fingerprint them so she could tell them apart.

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Bri James and her messy (not dirty) home.

It’s hard to keep your home clean when you have a child, but when you have four, unless you have a live-in maid, it’s completely impossible. There is no dishwasher fast enough to keep up with the dishes in the sink and no magical point where all four children have it together enough to put their toys away.

The problem is that if you take your eyes off the prize and let a day go by without cleaning up, you’re practically drowning in chaos.

TikTok user and stay-at-home mom Bri James (aka @themessymama4) did the unthinkable and let her home go four days without tidying up and shared the incredible mess with everyone on TikTok.


"I know I'm going to get roasted," she says in the clip, "but ... this is what happens when two really lazy adults have four kids and don't clean up after themselves."

The clip shows cutlery on the floor, empty packets everywhere, dishes piled a mile-high in the sink, and clothes and toys strewn everywhere. The house looks like the parents went away on a permanent vacation and left their kids to fend for themselves.

The video was praised by a lot of parents who are tired of seeing mommy influencers with spotless homes and children in matching linen outfits. Finally, there was a mom on TikTok they could relate to.

"I'd MUCH rather see you clean your realistic house than watch another blonde clean an already clean countertop," Meghan Sanders wrote.

TikTokker Its_not_that_serious put things in perfect perspective. "Dude, at the end of the day all of their fingers and toes are attached and feeling safe and loved you’re doing fine. Someday the house will be clean," they wrote.

"Having children is mentally and physically exhausting and you don’t always have the energy to clean every day," Rose added.

But not everyone appreciated Bri's slice of reality. Some people thought that her messiness was borderline neglectful and that she was setting a terrible example for her children.

"Set a good example for your kids. Make them help," carleebocciaa wrote.

"Without children = fine, your choice. With children (especially small ones) = completely unacceptable," ACZOgirly wrote.

Shortly after posting her first video, Bri got to work on the impossible task of cleaning up the entire house. Noticeably absent from the job were her spouse and four children. She appears to clean the entire place by herself.

She showed her cleaning prowess through a series of fast-motion videos.

@themessymama4

my butt does not look flattering in these Walmart lounge pants 🤦🏼‍♀️😅

Finally, at 9:30 p.m., Bri was done with most of the job, although she still had a bit of vacuuming to do and there were still some dishes in the sink. At the end of the job, she was exhausted. But she got the job done and that’s all that matters. It’s OK to let your house fall into disarray from time to time but eventually, you have to take care of business.

@themessymama4

I'm going to bed now. 🤣🥱😴

We’ll give TikTokker Sannon Martin the final word on this story because she hits the nail on the head. “Your home is exactly like mine,” she wrote. “Some days it’s a wreck and some days it looks amazing. That’s life. You’re doing great!”


This article originally appeared on 03.05.22

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