“Live. Hurt. Heal. Repeat. New York City is no longer for me; I’ve done what I came here to do. I’ve grown up and I've outgrown it and now I’m tired of stepping over shed skin,” Jessica Ciencin Henriquez wrote in a Craigslist post for her ‘Moving Out is Hard to Do Sale’ happening in June.
Two years ago, writer and editor Henriquez divorced actor Josh Lucas and moved into an apartment with her six-year-old son. Now, she’s leaving the city, but not without one final goodbye to the possessions that are intimately linked to her relationship.
Henrququez’s dramatic, revealing descriptions of the items she’s selling are connecting with people because they show how emotional memories are projected onto our belongings, even when it’s time to move on.
[rebelmouse-image 19561863 dam="1" original_size="424x299" caption="via Craigslist" expand=1]via Craigslist
“No sex was had in this bed,” she wrote in a description for her queen-sized mattress. “I bought it at the beginning of my year of celibacy."
“I believed that maybe I could start over with another someone who was capable of loving me like I deserved to be loved,” she added. “Anyway, this mattress has no stains, no damage, and the tears have dried.”
[rebelmouse-image 19561864 dam="1" original_size="359x252" caption="via Craigslist" expand=1]via Craigslist
“I brought it home when I was seven months pregnant,” she said in a description for a rocking chair. “The father and I went to the store, determined to choose the perfect furniture for our first (and only) child."
“We walked up every aisle and sat in each option they had, laughing at how seriously we were taking this one task,” she added. “But that baby grew up, and that marriage ended. I can no longer justify dragging this beast of a rocking chair from house to house.”
via Shixagug / Pixabay
“For years, I had only one coffee mug,” Henriquez wrote in an ad for a set of four coffee mugs. “A friend came over one day and laughed at the single mug in my cabinet and then forced me to order more from Amazon. ‘There will be other people in your life that drink coffee, hun.’ That’s what she said. Hun.”
[rebelmouse-image 19561866 dam="1" original_size="275x276" caption="via Craigslist" expand=1]via Craigslist
“I sat my son on top of this table and let him play with matchbox cars because he said please with the sweet voice he knows will break any rules I’ve made,” she writes while describing a mid-century modern dining table.
“Also because I’m a cool mom and cool moms don’t mind someone sitting on the table and playing with cars because cool moms are too busy figuring out how to rebuild their lives to worry about little things. There’s now scratches on the table top, I imagine they’re easy to fix, but I’ll never know because I’ll never bother trying.”
According to the BBC, Henriquez was bombarded with over 900 messages after the posting went live. “People are connecting with the notion that the things that we own come with a story,” the writer told the BBC. "They're connecting with what it means to move on and start over.
“I couldn't imagine listing those things without capturing the importance of how they helped me to reclaim my life,” she said.
Our mouths loves chips. Our bodies not so much.Photo by 
You can eat well without giving up sweets completely.Photo by 
12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.