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Parenting

Dave Ramsey is caught off guard by the exorbitant cost of daycare when caller asks for advice

"I mean, are they going to Harvard?"

cost of childcare; child care prices; child care crisis; Dave Ramsey daycare; parents respond to Dave Ramsey
Photo of Dave Ramsey|Gage Skidmore via Wikimedia Commons – Photo of daycare|Yan Krukau via Canva

Financial expert Dave Ramsey caught off guard by today's cost of childcare

Dave Ramsey is a financial guru who is famous for creating the "envelope method" to help stay on a budget and pay off debt. Churches across America have had him come in and help their congregation with becoming debt free, so it's safe to say he's built a solid following.

People generally find his advice really helpful and swear by his methods. But in a recent episode of his podcast, The Ramsey Show, it would appear the price of daycare in America might have proven to be a bit out of his depth. A caller sought Ramsey's show out for help to figure out how to save money as he and his wife have found themselves in a cycle of borrowing money to make ends meet.

Ramsey is confused when he learns the caller makes approximately $180K a year but the confusion turns to bewildered when the man explains childcare eats up $80k annually.

Once the man adds in student loan payments, mortgage and basic living expenses, the couple struggles. Ramsey nor his cohosts seem to understand how or why the family pays that much for two children to attend daycare. The financial guru even tosses out that the couple should "find free summer camps." Ramsey's suggestions were so inaccessible that parents flocked to the comments to tell him that he may need to sit this one out.

The cost of childcare is directly related to the cost of living in the state in which you reside. Generally childcare is cheaper in southern states, but even though this is true, daycare for my child averaged just under $14K per year in the state of North Carolina. This wasn't the fanciest daycare in the small town we lived in at the time, but it was safe and developmentally appropriate, both things that were important to me and my husband. The price tag was also for one child and did not include extended care hours.

@daveramsey

This couple is spending $80,000 a year for child care. #childcare #daycare #moneytok

But the caller needed extended care and was paying for two children to attend the childcare facility. A 2022 annual report from Care.com reveals that 67% of parents spend 20% or more of their household income on childcare costs. This is staggering when compared to the 7% the US Department of Health and Human Services says marks the affordable threshold.

Care.com ranked Washington D.C. as the most expensive place for daycare, parents of infants pay about $419 per week for one child, while in Arkansas, parents can expect to pay $129 per week for daycare. The idea of free summer camp would be laughable if it wasn't something families desperately need. But Ramsey must not be aware that there isn't a such thing as free summer camp unless you qualify for a low income subsidy program. The lower cost summer programs are still pretty pricy, especially if you have more than one child and others only offer child care for a few hours.

It's no wonder parents had a lot to say, some making their own videos to show the financial consultant exactly how parents spend large quantities of money on childcare.

"Dave Ramsey should get on three-way calls with childcare facilities to find his callers cheaper alternatives," one person writes.

"Free summer camp?! Where? We even had to pay a few hundred for half-day day camp at the YMCA for my kid," another commenter questions.

"I’m in Massachusetts and the average around us is $400-500 per kid per week for full time daycare. It’s not affordable," one mom explains.

@sheisapaigeturner

There is a childcare crisis in our country. The cost of childcare is astronomical. The cost of childcare is typically the biggest financial burden for a family with young children. The cost of childcare is rising at a faster rate than any other expense for families. People like Dave, pretending that this isn’t happening is wild to me because it is documented that this is indeed the cost of daycare. Dave should not be giving advice unless he’s well-versed in the topic. ##daveramsey##childcarecrisis##childcare ##daycare##daycarelife##millennialmom##workingmom

Paige, a mom that lives in Massachusetts took to social media to explain that it did in fact cost $20K-$26K a year in her state to send a child to daycare. In the caption of her video she explains in part, "There is a childcare crisis in our country. The cost of childcare is astronomical. The cost of childcare is typically the biggest financial burden for a family with young children. The cost of childcare is rising at a faster rate than any other expense for families."

Maybe this is news to Ramsey, but to people raising children outside of rural areas, the cost of the caller's childcare makes sense. There is a childcare crisis in America and many parents are finding themselves in an insurmountable hardship with seemingly no end in sight.

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Education

Why didn't people smile in old-timey photographs? A smile meant something different back then.

Our perceptions of smiling have changed dramatically since the 1800s.

via Public Domain

Photos from the 1800s were so serious.

If you've ever perused photographs from the 19th and early 20th century, you've likely noticed how serious everyone looked. If there's a hint of a smile at all, it's oh-so-slight, but more often than not, our ancestors looked like they were sitting for a sepia-toned mug shot or being held for ransom or something. Why didn't people smile in photographs? Was life just so hard back then that nobody smiled? Were dour, sour expressions just the norm?

Most often, people's serious faces in old photographs are blamed on the long exposure time of early cameras, and that's true. Taking a photo was not an instant event like it is now; people had to sit still for many minutes in the 1800s to have their photo taken.

Ever try holding a smile for only one full minute? It's surprisingly difficult and very quickly becomes unnatural. A smile is a quick reaction, not a constant state of expression. Even people we think of as "smiley" aren't toting around full-toothed smiles for minutes on end. When you had to be still for several minutes to get your photo taken, there was just no way you were going to hold a smile for that long.

But there are other reasons besides long exposure times that people didn't smile in early photographs.


mona lisa, leonardo da vinci, classic paintings, famous smiles, art"Mona Lisa" by Leonardo da Vinci, painted in 1503Public domain

The non-smiling precedent had already been set by centuries of painted portraits

The long exposure times for early photos may have contributed to serious facial expressions, but so did the painted portraits that came before them. Look at all of the portraits of famous people throughout history prior to cameras. Sitting to be painted took hours, so smiling was out of the question. Other than the smallest of lip curls like the Mona Lisa, people didn't smile for painted portraits, so why would people suddenly think it normal to flash their pearly whites (which were not at all pearly white back then) for a photographed one? It simply wasn't how it was done.

A smirk? Sometimes. A full-on smile? Practically never.

old photos, black and white photos, algerian immigrant, turban, Algerian immigrant to the United States. Photographed on Ellis Island by Augustus F. Sherman.via William Williams/Wikimedia Commons

Smiling usually indicated that you were a fool or a drunkard

Our perceptions of smiling have changed dramatically since the 1800s. In explaining why smiling was considered taboo in portraits and early photos, art historian Nicholas Jeeves wrote in Public Domain Review:

"Smiling also has a large number of discrete cultural and historical significances, few of them in line with our modern perceptions of it being a physical signal of warmth, enjoyment, or indeed of happiness. By the 17th century in Europe it was a well-established fact that the only people who smiled broadly, in life and in art, were the poor, the lewd, the drunk, the innocent, and the entertainment […] Showing the teeth was for the upper classes a more-or-less formal breach of etiquette."

drunks, classic painting, owls, malle babbe, paintings"Malle Babbe" by Frans Hals, sometime between 1640 and 1646Public domain


In other words, to the Western sensibility, smiling was seen as undignified. If a painter did put a smile on the subject of a portrait, it was a notable departure from the norm, a deliberate stylistic choice that conveyed something about the artist or the subject.

Even the artists who attempted it had less-than-ideal results. It turns out that smiling is such a lively, fleeting expression that the artistically static nature of painted portraits didn't lend itself well to showcasing it. Paintings that did have subjects smiling made them look weird or disturbing or drunk. Simply put, painting a genuine, natural smile didn't work well in portraits of old.

As a result, the perception that smiling was an indication of lewdness or impropriety stuck for quite a while, even after Kodak created snapshot cameras that didn't have the long exposure time problem. Even happy occasions had people nary a hint of joy in the photographs that documented them.

Another reason why people didn't smile in old photos is that dental hygiene wasn't the same as it is today, and people may have been self-conscious about their teeth. “People had lousy teeth, if they had teeth at all, which militated against opening your mouth in social settings,” Angus Trumble, the director of the National Portrait Gallery in Canberra, Australia, and author of A Brief History of the Smile, said, according to Time.


wedding party photo, wedding, old weddings, black and white, serious photos, no smilesEven wedding party photos didn't appear to be joyful occasions.Wikimedia Commons


Then along came movies, which may have changed the whole picture

So how did we end up coming around to grinning ear to ear for photos? Interestingly enough, it may have been the advent of motion pictures that pushed us towards smiling being the norm.

Photos could have captured people's natural smiles earlier—we had the technology for taking instant photos—but culturally, smiling wasn't widely favored for photos until the 1920s. One theory about that timing is that the explosion of movies enabled us to see emotions of all kinds playing out on screen, documenting the fleeting expressions that portraits had failed to capture. Culturally, it became normalized to capture, display and see all kind of emotions on people's faces. As we got more used to that, photo portraits began portraying people in a range of expression rather than trying to create a neutral image of a person's face.

Changing our own perceptions of old photo portraits to view them as neutral rather than grumpy or serious can help us remember that people back then were not a bunch of sourpusses, but people who experienced as wide a range of emotion as we do, including joy and mirth. Unfortunately, we just rarely get to see them in that state before the 1920s.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Movies

The real-life love story of Maria and Georg Von Trapp we didn't see in 'The Sound of Music'

"I really and truly was not in love."

Photo credit: Public domain

Maria Von Trapp was not in love with Georg when they got married, but that changed.

The Sound of Music has been beloved for generations, partially for the music (and Julie Andrews' angelic voice), partially for the historical storyline, and partially for the love story between Maria and Georg Von Trapp. The idea of a nun-in-training softening the heart of a curmudgeonly widower, falling in love with him, and ultimately becoming a big, happy family is just an irresistible love story.

But it turns out the real love story behind their union is even more fascinating.

maria von trapp, georg von trapp, the sound of music, love story, historyMaria Von Trapp (left) was played by Julie Andrews and her husband Georg was played by Christopher Plummer in "The Sound of Music."Photo credit: Public domain

The National Archives has collected information about what's fact and what's fiction in The Sound of Music, which is based on a real family in Austria named Von Trapp. The film was generally based on the first section of Maria Von Trapp's 1949 autobiography, The Story of the Trapp Family Singers, with some of the details being true and others fictionalized for a movie audience.

For instance, Maria was actually hired on as a tutor for just one of Georg's children, not as a governess for all of them. The children, whose names, ages and sexes were changed, were already musically inclined before Maria arrived. Georg was not the cold, grumpy dad he was portrayed as in the beginning of the film, but rather a warm and involved parent who enjoyed making music with his kids. Maria and Georg were married 11 years before leaving Austria, not right before the Nazi takeover. The Von Trapps left by train, not in a secret excursion over the mountains.

But perhaps the most intriguing detail? Maria was not in love with Georg at all when they got married.

gif, the sound of music, von trapp family, movie, true eventsSound Of Music Flag GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy

It doesn't initially make for a great Hollywood romance, but the Von Trapp love story began with marriage for other reasons and evolved into a genuine love story. Maria wrote that she fell in love with Georg's children at first sight, but she wasn't sure about leaving her religious calling when Georg asked her to marry him. The nuns urged her to do God's will and marry him, but for Maria it was all about the children, not him. When Georg proposed, he asked her to stay with him and become a second mother to his children. "God must have made him word it that way," Maria wrote, "because if he had only asked me to marry him I might not have said yes."

"I really and truly was not in love," she wrote. "I liked him but didn't love him. However, I loved the children, so in a way I really married the children."

However, she shared that her feelings for Georg changed over time. "…[B]y and by I learned to love him more than I have ever loved before or after."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The idea of marrying someone you don't love is antithetical to every romantic notion our society celebrates, yet the evolution of Maria's love for Georg has been a common occurrence across many cultures throughout history. Romantic love was not always the primary impetus for marriage. It was more often an economic proposition and communal arrangement that united families and peoples, formed the basis of alliances, and enabled individuals to rise through social ranks. Some cultures still practice arranged marriage, which limited research has found has outcomes identical to love-first marriage in reports of passionate love, companionate love, satisfaction, and commitment. The idea of marrying someone you don't already love is anathema to modern Western sensibilities, but the reality is that people have married over the centuries for many reasons, only one of which is falling in love.

Maria's marriage to Georg actually was about falling in love, but not with him. She loved his children and wanted to be with them. It definitely helped that she liked the guy, but she wasn't swept off her feet by him, there were no moonlit confessions of love a la "Something Good," and their happily ever after love story didn't come until much later.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Ultimately, Maria and Georg's love story was one for the ages, just not one that fits the Hollywood film trope. And it's a compelling reminder that our unwritten rules and social norms determining what love and marriage should look like aren't set in stone. Do marriages for reasons other than love always evolve into genuine love? No. Do marriages based on falling in love first always last? Also no. Should a marriage that starts with "like" and develops into to a genuine, deep love over years be considered "true love" in the way we usually think of it? Who can say? Lots to ponder over in this love story.

But Maria's description of learning "to love him more than I have ever loved before or after" is a pretty high bar, so clearly it worked for them. The Von Trapps were married for 20 years and had three more children together before Georg died of lung cancer in 1947. Maria would live another four decades and never remarried. She died in 1987 at age 82 and is buried next to Georg on the family's property in Vermont.

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Pop Culture

Brit shares the one-word 'dead giveaway' that American actors can't do an English accent

“There is one word that is a dead giveaway that an English character in a movie or a TV show is being played by an American."

via Warner Bros Discovery

Peter Dinklage on "Game of Thrones"?

When it comes to actors doing accents across the pond, some Americans are known for their great British accents, such as Natalie Portman ("The Other Boleyn Girl"), Robert Downey, Jr. ("Sherlock Holmes"), and Meryl Streep ("The Iron Lady"). Some have taken a lot of heat for their cartoonish or just plain weird-sounding British accents, Dick Van Dyke ("Mary Poppins"), Kevin Costner ("Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves") and Keanu Reeves ("Bram Stoker's Dracula").

Some actors, such as Tom Hardy (“The Drop”) and Hugh Laurie (“House”), have American accents so good that people have no idea they are British. Benedict Townsend, a London-based comedian and host of the “Scroll Deep” podcast, says there is one word that American actors playing characters with a British accent never get right. And no, it’s not the word “Schedule,” which British people pronounce the entire first 3 letters, and Americans boil down to 2. And it’s not “aluminum,” which British and American people seem to pronounce every stinking letter differently.


@benedicttown The one word American actors aways get wrong when doing an English accent
♬ original sound - Benedict Townsend

What word do American actors always get wrong when they do British accents?

“There is one word that is a dead giveaway that an English character in a movie or a TV show is being played by an American. One word that always trips them up. And once you notice it, you can't stop noticing it,” Townsend says. “You would see this lot in ‘Game of Thrones’ and the word that would always trip them up was ‘daughter.’”

Townsend adds that when British people say “daughter,” they pronounce it like the word “door” or “door-tah.” Meanwhile, Americans, even when they are putting on a British accent, say it like “dah-ter.”

“So top tip if you are an actor trying to do an English accent, daughter like a door. Like you're opening a door,” Townsend says.


What word do British actors always get wrong when doing American accents?

Some American commenters returned the favor by sharing the word that British actors never get right when using American accents: “Anything.”

"I can always tell a Brit playing an American by the word anything. An American would say en-ee-thing. Brits say it ena-thing,” Dreaming_of_Gaea wrote. "The dead giveaway for English people playing Americans: ‘Anything.’ Brits always say ‘EH-nuh-thin,’” marliemagill added. "I can always tell an actor is English playing an American when they say ‘anything.’ English people always say it like ‘enny-thin,’” mkmason wrote.


What is the cot-caught merger?

One commenter noted that the problem goes back to the cot-caught merger, when Americans in the western US and Canadians began to merge different sounds into one. People on the East Coast and in Britain pronounce them as different sounds.

“Depending on where you live, you might be thinking one of two things right now: Of course, ‘cot’ and ‘caught’ sound exactly the same! or "There’s no way that ‘cot’ and ‘caught’ sound the same!” Laura McGrath writes at DoYouReadMe. “As a result, although the different spellings remain, the vowel sounds in the words cot/caught, nod/gnawed, stock/stalk are identical for some English speakers and not for others.” For example, a person from New Jersey would pronounce cot and catch it as "caht" and "cawt," while someone from Los Angeles may pronounce them as "caht" and "caht."

To get a better idea of the big difference in how "caught" and "cot" are pronounced in the U.S., you can take a look at the educational video below, produced for a college course on linguistics.


- YouTubeyoutu.be

American actors owe Townsend a debt of gratitude for pointing out the one thing that even the best can’t seem to get right. For some actors, it could mean the difference between a great performance and one that has people scratching their heads. He should also give the commenters a tip of the cap for sharing the big word that British people have trouble with when doing an American accent. Now, if we could just get through to Ewan McGregor and tell him that even though he is fantastic in so many films, his American accent still needs a lot of work.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Pop Culture

Gen Zer shares 5 incredible things that happened after quitting social media 4 years ago

"You cherish your day-to-day life."

via Canva/Photos

A teenage girl stares at her phone at night.

Quynh Van, 26, a UX designer based in Minneapolis, Minnesota, gave herself the ultimate challenge for a Gen Zer four years ago: she vowed to quit social media. Now, she has returned to social media on TikTok to share the big difference the sabbatical made in her life.

"I quit social media four years ago, and it completely changed my life," Van said in the video. "For background, I deleted everything—Instagram, Twitter, everything—back in the beginning of 2021. It is now 2025, and I just started TikTok a month ago, and this is the only social media I have."

In a video that has received over 800,000 views, she shares the massive impact that leaving social media had on her life.

What does it feel like to quit social media?

@quynhxvan

one of the best decisions I’ve made #slowliving #digitaldetox #selfgrowth #selfdevelopment #mentalhealth #tiktokdiary #advice #selfimprovement #mindfulness #meditation #peace #peaceful #nature #socialmedia

1. She became her authentic self

“You're just a much more interesting person because you're not consuming what other people are wearing, what they're thinking, what they're saying. And you just have space for your own thoughts. You have space for learning new hobbies, reading new books, reading articles. So you just become much more interesting because you're present in your actual self.”

2. She has more time

“It's just so productive and it's so freeing. Life just stops disappearing into a scroll. My days would feel longer. I would feel more fulfilled. I would fill it with so much stuff. Learning, reflecting, moving. I was actually doing things and I was building a life instead of just watching one go by and like, looking up from my phone and seeing that four hours had passed.”

social media, smartphones, social media addiction, teens smart phones, screentimeSad teenage girl staring at her phone. via Canva/Photos

3. She stopped comparing herself to others

“I just think it's a natural tendency for humans to compare. You're always going to compare value A to value B. That's just a natural human tendency. You don't need to try and shut it down completely. But it's not normal for us to have a window into everyone's lives at all times. I think that has broken our brains a little bit.”

4. She got in touch with her emotions

“You can't inoculate yourself with dopamine hits and avoid the painful emotions anymore with social media. You have to learn to sit in the discomfort. You have to learn to face yourself and learn to sit with your difficult emotions. I wasn't able to escape my feelings anymore and that really changed everything. Made me stronger, it made me more emotionally resilient, and I was able to gain peace in my own head. Like my brain just felt like green. It's a forest of peace. It was amazing.”

social media, smartphones, social media addiction, teens smart phones, screentime, teens phonesA group of teens staring at their phones. via Canva/Photos

5. Better relationships

“You just show up differently, and people can feel that you're more present, you listen better. You're just so in the present that you really see people when you're with them, and they can feel that, and you feel that with yourself. You feel so present with yourself, and you cherish them more because you just cherish your day-to-day life.”

For some, quitting social media may seem impossible. It’s how most people keep up with their friends these days. Further, the platforms are engineered to control our brain chemistry so much that taking a break feels like detoxing from an addictive substance. But Van wants to remind everyone that it’s possible, even when it may not feel that way.

“Honestly, the biggest thing about deleting my social media was knowing that I can live without it,” she said at the end of her video. “At the time, I felt like I couldn't live without it, and now I know that I can and I'm better for it.”

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Humor

Billy Crystal's ad-libs in 'The Princess Bride' were so funny Rob Reiner had to leave set

And he wasn't the only one.

LionsgateFilmUK/YouTube

Billy Crystal created most of Miracle Max's lines in "The Princess Bride" off the cuff.

It's often said that comedy is harder than drama, and while that may be debatable, there's no doubt that good comedians are a unique breed. Comedic actors know how to deliver lines in just the right way with just the right timing to make an audience laugh, but true comedians are often funnier when they’re allowed to go off-script and let their gift for spontaneous humor shine.

Enter Billy Crystal, whose ad-libbed scene in “The Princess Bride” was so funny it took nearly 30 hours of work to get five minutes of usable footage. Cast members of the cult classic film have shared what happened when director Rob Reiner decided to take the reins off of Crystal, telling him, “Forget the lines, just go for it,” according to actor Cary Elwes. That invitation to improvise would prove to be one of the best—and worst—decisions he could have made for the film.

billy crystal, the princess bride, miracle maxThe Princess Bride Disney Plus GIF by Disney+Giphy

In the scene, Crystal plays “Miracle Max,” a crotchety old apothecary who argues with his wife (played by Carol Kane) and brings the "mostly dead" Westley back to life with his chocolate-covered magic pill. There were lines written for his character, but he didn't need them. He could—and did—ad-lib for hours, but it proved to be a bit of a problem because the cast and crew just couldn't stop laughing.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

The sound department had to start banishing people off of the set because they were ruining takes with their giggles. Reiner himself, who has a big, boisterous laugh, was one of the first people to go because he couldn't keep it together during the filming. Mandy Patinkin, who played Inigo Montoya and wasn't able to leave, shared that he sustained his only injury in the entire making of the film during the shooting of that scene—a bruised rib from holding in laughter.

Elwes said Reiner told him he needed to lie perfectly still and hold his breath in the scene, but Crystal's "medieval Yiddish stand-up" proved too hilarious and Elwes had to be replaced with his rubber dummy for much of the shoot. Patinkin said that Reiner nearly threw up from laughing so hard, and people in the cast and crew had to bite their hands to keep quiet. Production was nearly shut down for the day and the scene became one of the most expensive scenes in the movie because it used so much film, according to InCinematic. And the vast majority of what was filmed never got seen.

The Princess Bride You Killed My Father GIFGiphy

"Unfortunately, there's so many spoiled—brilliantly hilarious takes that we all spoiled," said Elwes. He also wrote in his book about the movie that Crystal never said the same thing or delivered the same line twice. Crystal's improv resulted in some of the most memorable lines from the film, such as the classic, "Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world—except for a nice MLT–mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean…"

Even the look of Miracle Max was from Crystal's brain child. He told his makeup artist that he wanted the character to look like a mix between Casey Stengel, former manager for the New York Yankees, and Crystal's grandmother.

Casey Stengel served as inspiration for the Miracle Max character in "The Princess Bride."Public Domain

People loved hearing about Crystal's comedic genius, wishing the footage that couldn't be used would be released.

"You can't plan a movie like The Princess Bride, when you've got the right people sometimes it just happens."

"Nothing greater as an improvising-comedian actor than hearing the words; 'Forget the lines, just go for it.'"

"Three straight days of Billy off the cuff is pure gold. I would've loved to have been on that set lmao."

Billy Crystal Oscars GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy

"When the comedy is so good, you bruise your OWN RIB tryna hold it in."

"Release the tapes, raw and uncut. The people demand it."

We may not have access to the unseen footage of Crystal's improvised hilarity, but we can at least enjoy the scenes that did make it into the film by rewatching "The Princess Bride," which many fans do annually. The film even returned to theaters briefly for its 30th Anniversary in the fall of 2023, much to the delight of people who yearned to see it on the big screen again.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

This article originally appeared in January.


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