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Therapist lists benefits of having an anxious attachment style, validating people everywhere

"No one's producing an HBO series about securely attached people."

attachment style; therapy speak; anxious attachment style; mental health; TikTok mental health
Keira Burton|Canva and Jeff Guenther|TikTok

Therapist lists benefits of having an anxious attachment style.

"Therapy speak" or "psychobabble" has infiltrated the daily lives of average citizens thanks to social media apps like TikTok and Instagram. Everyone seems to be an expert on something, and terms get thrown around with a very loose understanding of their actual meaning, which can cause confusion.

Chatter about knowing your "attachment style" has been making the rounds as of late. There seems to be a belief that if you know other people's attachment styles then you can better understand their behaviors and pick a more compatible partner if you're on the market. The problem is, attachment style isn't everything. It doesn't tell you everything. It's not even a very good predictor of your potential as a mate.

Attachment styles are simply part of a whole. Imagine a car being a whole person and attachment style being the doors. Are the doors important? Sure. Do they make up the entire car? No. Can you drive a car safely without doors? Hello, Jeep Wranglers.

The thing about people obsessing over new words, phrases or concepts they've learned from an influencer who went to therapy with their own layman's understanding is that some things get a gold star while others are deemed evil. There are four basic attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant and fearful. Of those four basic styles, there are multiple different subsections such as anxious-avoidant or disorganized-fearful.

This is why attempting to pin down or diagnose your own or your potential partner's attachment style isn't particularly advisable without the help of a professional. But that doesn't stop social media from doing the social media thing and declaring one attachment style king and the others unfortunate tragedies to take pity on. Everyone wants to stake claim on having a secure attachment style as a sort of badge of honor for not having childhood trauma or being well-adjusted.

But Jeff Guenther, LPC, takes a moment to highlight the benefits of having an anxious attachment style and simultaneously creates a collective sigh of relief for those who may have felt shame in holding that title.

Guenther starts the video off by validating the viewer, explaining that having an anxious attachment style isn't the person's fault.

"It's the fault of the environment that you grew up in. It's because you have parents or caregivers that were inconsistent with their love and attention," Guenther says. "It's because you were taught that love was something you had to fight for, not something that was freely given."

He goes on to explain that, if given the choice, people would opt for a secure attachment style and jokes that, "No one's producing an HBO series about securely attached people." They aren't, because that would lack a significant amount of drama, trauma and character arc. But Guenther doesn't stop at the explanation of an anxious attachment style; he lists benefits of being someone with an anxious attachment style, starting with being excellent at bedroom adult activities.

@therapyjeff

It’s not your fault that you have an anxious attachment style. #therapytiktok #mentalhealth #relationshiptips #dating #anxiousattachment #anxiousattachmentstyle

"You possess a level of emotional intelligence that makes everyone jealous. Your dedication is off the charts. Your ability to read your partner and be there for them is unparalleled," Guenther says.

The list goes on and a quick peek into the comment section let's you know his video was much needed.

"This is so sweet to hear. Every anxious attachment video I see is calling us the problem that needs to be fixed and adjusted," one person writes.

"Thank you for bringing positivity to this. I have felt like I'm supposed to cure who I am for way too long," another commenter writes.

No matter your attachment style, it's just a part of who you are, not the entirety of your being. Thanks to Guenther, those who have been concerned about possibly having anxious attachment can breathe a little freer knowing what that attachment style can bring to the table.

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Comedian nails the differences in how each generation arrives at someone's home

"Millennials will arrive late, but they will text you to let you know they're on their way, just as they're about to get into the shower."

Samuel Peter/Pexels

Boomers will knock. Loudly. At all hours.

There's no doubt that there are contrasts between the generations, as baby boomers, Gen X, millennials and Gen Z see and experience the world quite differently. While generation gaps have always existed, the tech age has widened those gaps in big ways, which sometimes creates challenges but often results in hilarity.

For instance, watching a Gen Zer try to figure out how to use a rotary phone is pure entertainment. The way emojis are used and interpreted varies vastly by age, making for some chuckle-worthy communication mishaps. Slang terms can be hard to keep up with the older you get, but they can also be manipulated by savvy elders to great comedic effect.

gen z slang, w rizz, generations, generation gap, generational differences Riz W Sign GIF Giphy

And now, comedian Jake Lambert is comparing how the different generations arrive at someone's house in a viral video that's been viewed more than 12 million times.

"You've basically got boomers who will turn up completely unannounced any time from about 7:00 in the morning and they will knock on your door just slightly louder than the police using a battering ram carrying out a house raid," Lambert begins.

"And then you've got Gen X. They would have made the plans well in advance, and they would've also checked in a couple of days before just to make sure the plans are definitely still happening," he goes on. "You see, Gen X is the forgotten generation and they're so scarred by this title they would've assumed that you'd forgotten not only about the plans but about their very existence."

"Millennials will have hoped that the plans would've been canceled. There's no reason that a millennial will ever actually want to come to your house," he continues. "They will arrive late, but they will text you to let you know they're on their way, just as they're about to get into the shower. And a millennial will never knock on your door. You'll just get a text either saying 'here' or 'outside,' and that's your cue to go and let them in."

"Similarly, Gen Z will never actually knock," he concludes. "But the chances are they won't have to, as they would have been documenting the entire journey from their house to yours, maybe even on Facetime using this angle [camera facing directly up at the chin] as they go along for some reason. Either that or they'll just send a picture of your front door or a selfie of them outside it. And again, just like the millennial, that's your cue to go and rescue them from the outside world."

gen z, selfie, generation gap, generational differences, generations Gen Z will send a selfie from outside your house as an indicator that they've arrived. Photo credit: Canva

People feel alternately seen, attacked and validated by Lambert's assessments, with the most common response being "accurate."

"I‘m a millennial, my husband GenX. Scarily accurate! 😂"

"Described this millennial to a T."

"This is surprisingly accurate 😂 I laughed slightly louder than the police using a battering ram…"

"Sooo accurate…guilty of the lateness and ‘here’ text 🙃"

"I must admit I'm a millennial. But knocking on the door feels so aggressive, uknow? 😅😇"

"Millennial texting to say almost there but just started getting dressed to go out. Why do we do this? It's not intentional, at least not for me."

millennial, ok boomer, generation gap, generational differences, generations Giphy

"Honestly your observations are just brilliant! GenX-er here!"

"The Gen Z angle omg. 😂😂"

Naturally there are some people who don't resonate with their generation's description, but there are exceptions to every rule and some people will never fit a stereotype. However, judging by the wave of affirmative responses, Lambert has nailed the generational generalities across the board—and done so in a way that allows us all to laugh at ourselves.

You can follow Jake Lambert on Instagram.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Delta flight attendant shares her weirdest passenger interactions and the stories are wild

You really get all kinds of characters on an airplane.

Photo credit: Canva

Flight attendants have stories for days.

In some ways, airplanes are a great equalizer. People from all economic brackets, political persuasions, cultures, and walks of life fly on planes occasionally, so every flight is like a mixed bag of humanity.

Flight attendants see it all and have to interact with the vast array of people in all their quirks on a daily basis. Their job requires providing friendly customer service and also keeping passengers safe, which isn't always easy. Naturally, most flight attendants have stories for days, but we're not always privy to them.

flight attendant, flying, airplane, airlines, air travel Flight attendants have to interact with all kinds of people every day.Photo credit: Canva

A flight attendant named Savannah is giving us an inside look at the weird, funny, and surprising interactions she has with passengers, and it is a hoot. Savannah works for Delta, and her "Life of a Flight Attendant" videos have become viral favorites. It all started with a TikTok video where she launched right in with a handful of brief anecdotes:

"A guy in first class asked if he could smoke a cigarette, and when I said no, he said, 'But I'm in first class.'"

"One lady asked why there was orange juice in her mimosa."

"When we landed it was still dark outside, and one guy literally asked me if our flight took that long cuz it was nighttime again. Mind you, we left at 5:00 a.m. for an hour flight."

@savannah0191

Replying to @Terry she did in fact choose to fly to atlanta :)

"I had to inform one lady that we weren't the only airline that allowed babies when there was a baby crying—mind you, for like 15 seconds—and she said she was never flying Delta again. Because of the crying baby."

"The lady's husband asked why there wasn't a dinner on a 45-minute flight. At 8:00 a.m."

Savannah shared that she's had multiple passengers walk into the bathroom barefoot or in socks. One little boy asked if she was related to Tarzan. One lady dropped her back on Savannah's foot and told her to "Take care of it." She's had people tell her to ask the pilots to turn off the engines because they are too loud.

And that's just Part 1. Savannah has made 15 of these so far and she's gathering more stories by the day.

@savannah0191

Replying to @Terry she did in fact choose to fly to atlanta :)

Here's one fan favorite from Part 15:

"We board in Minneapolis and this lady comes on, she's like, 'I can't find my seat,' and I said, 'Can I see your boarding pass?' She was like, 'Well, I'm at G18.'

I said, 'Ma'am, there's no G on this plane. It's ABC DEF.' And she was like, 'Yeah, but my boarding pass says G18.' And I said, "Oh, that's the gate. We're parked at G18. Can I see your boarding pass? I'll let you know what seat you're in.'

She was like, 'I want to sit at G18.'

'Well, that's inside the airport, up the jetbridge. Um, can I see your boarding pass, and I can just, um, let you know your seat number?'

'Well, I want to sit at G18 and I'm not sitting anywhere else.'

airport, airlines, airplane, flight gate, flight attendant G18 is a gate, not a seat, ma'am. Photo credit: Canva

'I'm gonna propose a solution. You can go sit at G18 in the airport or you can hand me your boarding pass and I can show you your assigned seat and you can go to Atlanta. So, I'm gonna leave it up to you—it's your call—n=but there isn't a G18 on this plane. I'm very sorry. If you do want to sit at G18, it is in the airport, okay?'"

Can you imagine having conversations like this on a daily basis?

Some of Savannah's stories are just delightful, such as the kid who tried to convince her to give him gummy bears while his mom slept beside him or the elderly man who recognized her from TikTok and pulled up her account to show her her own face.

@savannah0191

guaranteed that mom heard our whole conversation 🥲😅

Part of what people love about Savannah's storytelling is that she has great timing and facial expressions. But she also seems like a genuinely sweet person who is perfectly suited to her job, which is always lovely to see. You can't interact with humans all day without a sense of humor. You also can't do it without actually liking people in general. Based on Savanna's viral video from 2021 in which she explains what she thinks about passengers based on what they're wearing, she really is well suited to interact with people all day:

@savannah0191

welcome onboard 🥰🥰 #flightattendantlife #greenscreen

You can follow Savannah on TikTok for more.


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Man finds genius loophole to beat squatters at their own game. Homeowners say he's a hero.

"All I'm doing is becoming a squatter and flipping this process on them."

Canva Photos

Flash Shelton has been nicknamed the "Squatter Hunter" and helps people take their homes back.

Squatters' rights laws are some of the most bizarrely misused legal realities we have, and something no one seems to have a good answer for. Most of us have heard stories of someone moving into a vacant home and just living there, without anyone's permission and without paying rent, and somehow this is a legal question mark until the courts sort it out.

According to The National Desk, squatters' rights are a carryover from British property law and were created to ensure that abandoned property could be used and to protect occupants from being kicked out without proper notice. The argument is that it's better to have someone openly living in a home and taking care of it, properly maintaining it, versus it laying abandoned and rotting away. Families and residents add value to a community, and those residents should have rights — or so the reasoning goes.

It should go without saying that squatter law isn't meant to allow someone to just take over someone else's property, but sometimes that's exactly what happens.

A squatter takeover is exactly what happened to Flash Shelton's mother when she put her house up for rent after her husband passed away.


A woman contacted her with interest in the property, only she wanted to do repairs and look after the home instead of paying rent. Before anyone knew it, she had furniture delivered (which she later said was accidental) and set up camp, despite Shelton's mom not agreeing to the arrangement.

But since the woman had expressed her intention and already moved in, the matter was out of police hands, as Shelton found out when he tried to contact the local sheriff. If that sounds like trespassing to you, well, join the club.

“They said, ‘I’m sorry but we can’t enter the house, and it looks like they’re living there, so you need to go through the courts',” he shared in a YouTube video.


Shelton rightfully didn't want the expense of a court battle, so he took matters into his own hands—not with violence, but with logic. He had his mom lease the home to him, and then told the squatter that she had to move everything out because he was moving things in.


squatters, homeowners, criminals, trespassing, law, property law, viral videos, youtube, squatter hunter How exactly is squatting not trespassing? It's complicated, for some reason. Giphy

“If they can take a house, I can take a house," he said.

He was calm and clear about her having to get everything out within the day or he would have people come and take it, and thankfully, she didn't put up a big fight.

That experience made him realize how squatter law can be abused, but that there's a faster system for removing a squatter than to go through the court system. If a squatter can move in and force a homeowner to take them to court to prove they are living there illegally, then he could simply move in alongside the squatter, putting the squatter in the position of having to take the homeowner to court instead.

"The legal process is so slow, and at some point when they're in there, you're going to feel like they have more rights than you do and that's how you're going to be treated. So even though you it's your house and you're paying the mortgage or whatever, at some point squatters feel like they have more rights than you, so they don't have an incentive to leave until a judge tells them to, until they're actually ordered to, and that could take months."

After successfully removing the squatters in his mother's house, Shelton has been tackling similar squatter situations for other homeowners in California, earning him the nickname "The Squatter Hunter."

"All I'm doing is becoming a squatter and flipping this process on them," Shelton told CBS News. "I figured if they could take a house, I could take a house."

According to CBS, he's successfully removed a dozen squatters in the past year. ""I'm not going in and I'm not hurting anyone," he said. "I'm not kicking them out, I'm not throwing them out." He's literally just moving in himself, setting up cameras, and then creating small annoyances until the squatters get fed up enough to move out; like making uncomfortable alterations to the home or making a ton of noise at inopportune hours.

Shelton parlayed his success into a reality show on A&E called, fittingly, Squatters. It premiered in July of 2025. To put it lightly, it looks intense! Clips posted on Shelton's social media show hostile standoffs with angry squatters and even he and his team causing damage to the home or creating nuisances to help drive the squatters out.

California isn't the only state that has seen issues with squatters. There are squatter stories from all over the U.S. of people moving into a property and refusing to leave without a court order, tying owners up in lengthy, expensive legal battles.

Though squatting is relatively rare overall, some areas of the country have more issues than others. California, Texas, Georgia, and Florida are areas, in particular, that struggle with squatters and abandoned properties.

Shelton even has a Change.org petition to try to get squatter laws changed to "make squatting in residential maintained homes criminal." Making squatting illegal "will shift the burden of proof onto the squatter and make the crime punishable with restitution an option for damages," the the petition states.

Not all homeowners will have access to someone like Shelton and his team to fight back against squatters. But until the laws change, he's doing as much as he can.

Watch Shelton share his personal story:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.


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Shocking new poll shows just how incredibly sheltered kids are these days

Seventy-one percent of 8 to 12-year-olds have never held a sharp knife.

via Canva/Photos

A young boy staring at out the window.

If you compare parenting in 2025 to what it was in the ‘70s or ‘80s, there are some glaring differences. The first is that back in the day, kids were allowed to explore more on their own. It was common to see seven- or eight-year-olds walk home from school alone, and some were latchkey kids who came home to an empty house until their parents got home.

However, there has been a significant cultural shift, where the family has become increasingly centered around children, and parents are more concerned than ever about their kids’ safety. Even though the overall crime rate in America is much less than it was forty years ago. The effects of these changes are apparent in a shocking new Harris Poll about eight to twelve-year-old American children.

sad child, sheltered child, girl at window, depression, helicopter parent, stuck inside A young boy staring at out the window.via Canva/Photos

How sheltered are 8 to 12-year-olds?

45% have not walked in a different aisle than their parents at a store

56% have not talked with a neighbor without their parents

61% have not made plans with friends without adults helping them

62% have not walked/biked somewhere (a store, park, school) without an adult

63% have not built a structure outside (for example, a fort or treehouse)

67% have not done work that they’ve been paid for (e.g., mowing lawns, shoveling snow, babysitting)

71% have not used a sharp knife

The problem with raising sheltered kids

The poll results are alarming because children raised without freedom and real-life experiences are likely to have a tough life as adults. Sheltered children become adults who have a hard time making decisions, connecting with other people, and overcoming challenges. Sheltered children also grow up lacking individuality and confidence. It seems that the intense need to protect children winds up making them terrified as adults.

dorm room, college girls, girls studying, college life, bedroom, College girls in a dorm room.via Canva/Photos

How to raise children who aren’t sheltered

Jonathan Haidt, social psychologist and author of The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness, says one way to raise confident, independent children is to give them jobs outside of the house. "Practice letting your kids out of your sight without them having a way to reach you. While you cook dinner for your friends, send your kids out with theirs to the grocery store to pick up more garlic—even if you don't need it,” he told NPR.

Haidt believes that when children are seen walking to the store to get milk, it transforms them, as well as the community. “The brilliant part of this challenge is that it changes the norms. Before you know it, it's normal to see an eight-year-old carrying a quart of milk. It's normal to see a nine-year-old on a bicycle—that's how you change the norms,” Haidt continues.

kid shopping, independant kid, boy, boy with pineapple, boy in grocery store A young boy shopping at a grocery store.via Canva/Photos

He also suggests that parents should print out kids' licenses, similar to the ones available here, so they can demonstrate their independence if questioned by adults.

Raising kids who are resilient, capable, and emotionally mature begins when parents loosen their grip and allow them more freedom and trust. For many, this may run counter to their instincts, but it's necessary to raise well-rounded kids. Furthermore, in a world where many children are sheltered, those with a greater sense of individuality and confidence will have a distinct advantage when they enter the hyper-competitive adult world. In the end, well-adjusted competent adults are built not by shleting kids, but by setting them free.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

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My friend showed his daughter 'Jaws' and Gen Z's reaction to it changes the movie forever

It’s actually very similar to what the book’s author originally intended.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia, Canva, Universal Pictures

A teen girl watches the movie Jaws.

In 1975, oceans got a lot scarier for the average moviegoer. It was the summer Steven Spielberg's groundbreaking blockbuster Jaws was released — forever changing a day at the beach and the contents of our nightmares.

This year marks the 50th anniversary of that Oscar-winning film, and many theaters are re-releasing it just in time for Labor Day. But my friend Kyle, who has a 14-year-old daughter named Alexis, thought he'd get a jump on it and show it to her a bit earlier. "I wanted to take her to see it on the big screen, but she's very sensitive, so I thought in case she gets scared, we will watch it at home."

Snacks in bowls, PJs on, iPhones off — which is a hardcore rule Kyle, who is a screenwriter, has for movie watching - even on the couch.

The film opens with a casual group of friends, drinking and laughing at a beach bonfire in the fictional town of Amity Island, New York. One woman, with long ’70s flowing hair, stands up and begins to run toward the ocean — a man playfully running after her. "What's your name again?" he asks. "Chrissie!" "Where are we going?" "Swimming," she gleefully replies.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Swimming is one way to put it. The tension builds, one of Spielberg's most genius directorial gifts, as she disrobes and frolics into the water. He's a tad too drunk to go in, despite her pleas to join her. Refreshing and beautiful, she's splashing around when…we get an underwater shot of her silhouette swimming above. (We later find out whose point of view that's from, and it's not a human.)

Suddenly, there's cacophonous music, as she seems to be nibbled on the leg. Then, with the most terrifying of screams, we watch as she appears to be carried on the back of a beast to and fro, all the while screeching as though she were wrestling a demon. Oblivious, her suitor remains intoxicated on the beach, while she goes silent, having surrendered to her fate as a big fish's meal.

(Fun fact: There were rumors that Susan Backlinie, who played "first victim Chrissie," accidentally had her ribs broken, as Spielberg yanked her underwater for her last shot. However, Backlinie has debunked the popular myth, though she did say the filming was "grueling.")

sharks, great white, jaws, Spielberg, movies Bruce AKA Jaws the shark attacks a boat. Giphy Universal Pictures

Kyle reports that Alexis was silent. Shocked. And yes, terrified. She grabbed a couch pillow and yelped, "Nope," as the infamous John Williams composition "Duh Nuh. Duh nuh. Duh nuh" begins to play. She is hooked, pun intended.

As the film goes on, however, and she's able to regain her breath — her attitude changes sharply. Kyle shares, "Around the time when marine biologist Matt Hooper (played by Richard Dreyfuss) appeared on screen, Alexis scrunched up her face. I asked her what was up and she said, 'I kinda feel like maybe the shark isn't the bad guy.'"

"You're gonna need a bigger boat" scene from the movie Jaws. www.youtube.com, Universal Pictures

She wouldn't be the first to have expressed this sentiment. Author Peter Benchley, on whose novel of the same name the film was based, had a complicated relationship with the movie. In an article for the Cape Cod Times, Kathi Scrizzi Driscoll recently writes how Benchley expressed remorse. "Benchley wanted to spotlight sharks' endangerment from modern fishing technology and an Asian taste for shark fin soup. What got more international attention, though, was this passage: '... considering the knowledge accumulated about Great Whites in the past 25 years, I couldn't possibly write Jaws today ... not in good conscience, anyway.'"

Benchley, having become an ocean conservationist before his death in 2006, even set the record straight on shark behavior. "They tend to spit people out," the piece reports Benchley claiming. (He had a lot of ideas for casting that clashed with Spielberg as well, including a wish for Paul Newman and Robert Redford to play the roles that wound up going to Roy Scheider and Dreyfuss.)

Alexis continued, "Just seems like they were in HIS house, ya know? Like what is a shark supposed to eat? If anyone is the villain, it's people who hunt sharks for sport. And the people who lie about them for movies." (Gauntlet dropped, Spielberg.)

Many marine biologists have spent decades trying to undo the shark myths proposed in Jaws. In the clip below for KATU Lifestyle, Dr. Alexandra McInturf says that not only are sharks not man-eating maniacs, "they are very discerning, thoughtful animals. The presence of sharks in an ecosystem is usually a really good sign that the ecosystem is healthy."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

That said, it was peak ’70s water-cooler talk and a deep bond for many Gen X-ers and Boomers. Gen Z, however, is seemingly not as interested. Natalie O'Neill writes in the New York Post that barely "half of Gen Z-ers" have even seen the film. She shares, "The film was such a hit with young people at the time, a whopping 40% of 18-to-29-year-olds said they’d seen it by the end of summer 1975, according to a Gallup poll taken that year." Adding, "At the time, 18% of viewers called it 'the most frightening movie' they had ever seen and 35% said the movie increased their fear of swimming in the ocean, according to the poll."

As part of the half who can now proudly claim they have seen it, Alexis is a fan. But she's team Benchley all the way when it comes to shark advocating. "Just leave them alone and they will leave you alone," she pleaded. True or not, she vows she will never miss an episode of National Geographic's "Shark Week" content moving forward.


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