Annoyed Texas comedian reads his HOA fine notice like it was written by William Faulkner
"They say my trash can lingers too long at the curb, lording like a broke cousin who don't know when to go home."

Jerry Wayne Longmire holding up a letter form his HOA.
America has a complicated relationship with HOAs, or homeowners’ associations. Eighteen percent of Americans, including 27% of homeowners, live in a community with an HOA; however, most of them don’t like it. Sixty-one percent of Americans say they’d rather live in a community without an HOA, and only 14% would prefer to live in one.
HOAs help people in planned communities maintain shared spaces, keep noise levels down, manage amenities such as swimming pools, and try to keep home values up by ensuring everyone maintains their property. But, to some, this feels like an extra layer of authority on top of the existing levels of government, which feels a bit overbearing.
Jerry Wayne Longmire, a former contractor turned stand-up comedian who lives in East Texas, received a letter from his HOA and pushed back against their authority in the most elegant and uniquely southern way possible. He responded with a social media post, written in the style of southern Gothic writer William Faulkner. Longmire is best known for his series of videos on Truck Astrology and his podcast, The Reckon Yard. He's also an avid reader who has been a lifelong fan of Faulkner's.
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Longmire’s eloquent letter is also hilarious with great lines such as:
“They say my trash can lingers too long at the curb, lording like a broke cousin who don't know when to go home. They call it unsightly, but I reckon a plastic bin scarred by sun and wind is no uglier than the souls who wrote this letter with clipboards for hearts.”
“They say my shutters are the wrong color, turquoise. Though to me, they are a hymn to the gulf where the water once baptized my boyhood. They demand beige, the color of cowardice.”
Longmire also had the Internet in stitches with a video where he responds to a nearly $700 electric bill like Faulkner. This time, unlike the HOA video, he puts the blame squarely on himself for tempting the gods to sleep in comfort in August.
@jerrywaynelongmire Electric bill in the south #comedy #faulkner #electricbill #heat #airconditioning #texas #electricitybill #electricity
“Now I recall a time not too long ago, when a man could just sleep with just a fan on. Box fan in the window, sheets damp with his own resolve. But then came August. August, that devil and cargo shorts. She comes with air so thick you can taste the mosquitoes before they bite you. And I, a weak and weary creature, I touched the thermostat, dropped her down to 71. The sin of comfort,” Langmire says with dead seriousness. “Now I'm shackled, betrayed, and bound by wattage and poor choices. And yet I will do it again, for I have known the chill and I will not go back.”
Longmire does a great job at pointing out the rubs of modern life in America. We want quiet streets and some modicum of order, but really resent it when the judging eye of the HOA lands on property. We also want to sleep in comfort, but have to deal with the fact that electricity bills are only going up. You can’t beat the electric company or the HOA, but as long as guys like Longmire are around, at least we can have a good laugh about them.