They asked her, “What are the benefits of being a woman?” How’s that for a conversation starter?

One Reddit user shared the results after this question was posed to an anonymous person’s Facebook page.

The question elicited a passionate response from one woman who literally said, “None. There are absolutely no practical benefits to being a woman.”


She then linked to a study showing how teachers tend to “ignore” girls in favor of boys in early elementary school, implying a pattern that extends throughout society and something women must grapple with on a daily basis. After all, the simple act of not being heard is a system form of invisibility that women, and all marginalized groups, must deal with on a daily basis.

Sometimes sexism, racism and other forms of discrimination are obvious and overt. But more often, we as a society are learning more about the built-in, institutional forms of discrimination that inherently create an unfair playing field for women when the entire system is seemingly set up to favor men.

But maybe it’s not so simple.

In a follow-up comment that has gone viral on Reddit, one man chimed in to point out that just because women have inherent challenges, it shouldn’t diminish the fact that men also suffer:

In an extended rebuttal, the commenter lists a number of inherent disadvantages men face in their own lives: men are far more likely to be sentenced than women during criminal trials, less likely to commit suicide and are still too often “shunned” for expressing emotion and vulnerability.

Much of this guy’s response is subjective and doesn’t hold up under scrutiny. For example, he claims that all men are considered “sex-obsessed monsters.”

No doubt some people view all men this way but it’s an inaccurate stereotype to suggest that all men are viewed this way.

Nonetheless, the writes raises some fair points about gender imbalances when it comes to parenting, human resources and the continued expectations on men to be “bread winners” even as we simultaneously demand equal opportunity and pay for women.

The takeaway here is not to argue that men have it tougher than women because they almost certainly do not.

But part of creating real change starts with finding real compassion for each other and not denying the challenges of everyone’s individual experience.

We’re asking more of men these days. On one hand, it’s not much considering how little has been asked of them historically.

But if men are being asked to evolve and create space for others, they have to be brought into the full picture and allowed to be fully formed humans in every aspect.

Joy

Man uses TikTok to offer 'dinner with dad' to any kid that needs one, even adult ones

Summer Clayton is the father of 2.4 million kids and he couldn’t be more proud.

Come for the food, stay for the wholesomeness.

Summer Clayton is the father of 2.4 million kids and he couldn’t be more proud. His TikTok channel is dedicated to giving people intimate conversations they might long to have with their own father, but can’t. The most popular is his “Dinner With Dad” segment.

The concept is simple: Clayton, aka Dad, always sets down two plates of food. He always tells you what’s for dinner. He always blesses the food. He always checks in with how you’re doing.

I stress the stability here, because as someone who grew up with a less-than-stable relationship with their parents, it stood out immediately. I found myself breathing a sigh of relief at Clayton’s consistency. I also noticed the immediate emotional connection created just by being asked, “How was your day?” According to relationship coach and couples counselor Don Olund, these two elements—stability and connection—are fundamental cravings that children have of their parents. Perhaps we never really stop needing it from them.


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Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

woman laying on bed

I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Inattentive Type about three years ago—I was a fully functioning adult, married with children before finding out that my brain worked a bit differently. Of course I've known that I functioned a bit differently than my friends since childhood. The signs were there early on, but in the '80s diagnosing a girl with ADHD just wasn’t a thing that happened.

Much of the early criteria for ADHD was written based on how it presented in males, more specifically, white male children, and I was neither. Women like me are being diagnosed more and more lately and it’s likely because social media has connected us in a way that was lacking pre- doom scrolling days.

With the help of social media, women can connect with others who share the same symptoms that were once a source of shame. They can learn what testing to ask for and how to advocate for themselves while having an army of supporters that you’ve never met to encourage you along the way. A lot of women that are diagnosed later in life don’t want medication, they just want an answer. Finally having an answer is what nearly brought me to tears. I wasn’t lazy and forgetful because I didn’t care. I had a neurological disorder that severely impacted my ability to pay attention to detail and organize tasks from most important to least. Just having the answer was a game changer, but hearing that untreated ADHD can cause unchecked anxiety, which I had in spades, I decided to listen to my doctor and give medication a try.

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TikTok about '80s childhood is a total Gen X flashback.

As a Gen X parent, it's weird to try to describe my childhood to my kids. We're the generation that didn't grow up with the internet or cell phones, yet are raising kids who have never known a world without them. That difference alone is enough to make our 1980s childhoods feel like a completely different planet, but there are other differences too that often get overlooked.

How do you explain the transition from the brown and orange aesthetic of the '70s to the dusty rose and forest green carpeting of the '80s if you didn't experience it? When I tell my kids there were smoking sections in restaurants and airplanes and ashtrays everywhere, they look horrified (and rightfully so—what were we thinking?!). The fact that we went places with our friends with no quick way to get ahold of our parents? Unbelievable.

One day I described the process of listening to the radio, waiting for my favorite song to come on so I could record it on my tape recorder, and how mad I would get when the deejay talked through the intro of the song until the lyrics started. My Spotify-spoiled kids didn't even understand half of the words I said.

And '80s hair? With the feathered bangs and the terrible perms and the crunchy hair spray? What, why and how?

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