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6 alternatives to saying 'let me know if you need anything' to someone in crisis

If someone is drowning, you don't wait for them to ask for help. You just take action.

woman crying with her hand on a rainy window

People going through major struggles don't always know what they need or how to ask for help.

When we see someone dealing with the loss of a loved one or some other major life crisis, it's instinctual for many of us to ask how we can help. Often, the conversation looks something like this:

Us: I am SO sorry you're going through this. What can I do to help?

Person in crisis: I honestly don't know right now.

Us: Okay…well…you let me know if you need anything—anything at all.

Person in crisis: Okay, thank you.

Us: I mean it. Don't hesitate to ask. I'm happy to help with whatever you need.

And then…crickets. The person never reaches out to take you up on the offer.


Was it that they didn't really need any help, this person going through a major life crisis? Unlikely. As sincere as our offer may have been, the problem may be that we didn't really offer them what they actually needed.

One of those needs is to not have to make decisions. Another is to not have to directly ask for help.

When a person is in a state of crisis, they can feel like they're drowning. They might be disoriented and fatigued, and doing anything other than keeping their head above water long enough to breathe can feel like too much.

If someone is drowning, you don't ask them what you can do to help or wait for them to ask. You just take action.

Here are some specific ways you can take action to help someone who you know needs help but isn't able or willing to ask for it:

1. Make them food

It may be tempting to ask if you can make them a meal and wait for them to say yes or no, but don't. Simply ask if they or anyone in their household has any dietary restrictions, and then start shopping and cooking.

Meals that can be popped in the refrigerator or freezer and then directly into the oven or microwave are going to be your best bets. Include cooking or reheating instructions if it's not obvious. Disposable aluminum trays are great for homemade freezer-to-oven meals and can be found at just about any grocery store. Casseroles. Stir fried rices. Soups. Comfort foods.

If you don't cook, you can buy them gift cards to local restaurants that deliver, or give them a DoorDash or UberEats gift certificate (large enough to cover the delivery, service fees and tip as well, which combined can be as much as a meal sometimes).

lasagna in the oven

Easy-prep meals people can throw in the oven are great.

Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

Even better—organize a meal train

If you want to make it a community-wide effort and no one else has done so yet, set up a "meal train," where different people sign up for different days to bring meals to spread out the food help over time. There are several free websites you can use for this purpose, including Give In Kind, Meal Train, and Take Them a Meal. These sites make it super easy for anyone with the personalized link to sign up for a meal.

someone scrubbing a pot in a kitchen sink

There are always dishes to wash.

Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash

2. Clean their kitchen and/or bathrooms

Kitchens are always in use, and keeping up with dishes, especially in a house full of people, is a challenge even under normal circumstances. Same with keeping the refrigerator cleaned out. Same with cleaning the bathroom.

Rather than asking if they want it done, as many people won't want to say yes even if they would appreciate the help, try saying something like, "I want to come and make sure your kitchen is ready for you to make food whenever you want to and that your bathroom is a clean space for you to escape to whenever you feel like it. Is Tuesday or Wednesday at 1:00 better for you?"

The fewer complex decisions a person in crisis has to make the better, so saying, "Is this or that better?" rather than offering open-ended possibilities can be helpful.

woman folding clothes

There is always laundry to fold, too.

Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash

3. Do laundry

Offer to sit and chat with them, let them vent if they need to…and fold their laundry while you're at it.

Are they the kind of people who might be embarrassed by you seeing or handling their underclothes? Fine. Wash, dry and fold towels or bedsheets instead. Just keep the laundry moving for them.

And if it doesn't feel appropriate or desirable for you to do their laundry at their house, you can offer a pick-up laundry service, either yourself or an actual hired service. Tell the person to put bags or bins of laundry at the door and you (or the service) will come pick it up and bring it back clean and folded the next day. That's a great way to be of service without feeling like you're intruding.

man pulling food and toilet paper out of the car

Offer to pick stuff up when you're on a grocery run.

Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash

4. Run errands for them

"Hey, I'm heading out to the store, what can I grab you while I'm there?" is always a welcome phone call or text. Let them know when you're going to be running your own errands and see if there's anything they need dropped at the post office, picked up from the pharmacy, or anything else.

You can also offer to run errands with them. "Hey, I've got some errands to run. Do you want to join me?" They may have no desire to leave the house, or they may desperately want to leave the house, so be prepared for either answer, but the offer is solid. Even just not having to drive might be a relief if they have things they need to pick up or drop off places.

woman holding hands with a small child as they walk

Caring for someone's kids is one of the most helpful things you can do.

Photo by Kelli McClintock on Unsplash

5. Provide childcare

If the person is a parent, taking their kid(s) out for a chunk of the day can be a big help. Caring for yourself is hard when you're going through a difficult time, and the energy a person might use to actually do that often gets usurped by caring for others. Obviously, parents can't just neglect their children, so anything you can do to relieve them of that responsibility for a while is gold.

Offering to take the kids to do something fun—a day at the park, ice skating, etc. is even better. A parent knowing their kid is safe, occupied and happy is its own form of relief.

6. Ask what they're struggling with and focus your help there

While all of these practical household things are helpful, there might be some people who find comfort or solace in doing those things themselves. If that's the case, talk with them about what their immediate needs are and what they're having a hard time dealing with. Then focus your energies there. "What can I do to help?" may not be as effective a question as "What are you having a hard time doing right now?" They may not know what kind of help they need, but they probably know how they're struggling.

One person might be lonely and just want some company. Another person might need a creative outlet or a mindless distraction or something physical like going for a walk or a hike. Someone else might have pets they need help caring for, a garden that need tending or the oil changed in their car. Someone might even need a person to serve as a shield or buffer between them and all the people coming to offer their condolences.

Note that many of these things are basic life maintenance stuff—those are often the things that get hard for people when they're dealing with the emotional and logistical stuff surrounding whatever they're going through, and they're often the easiest things other people can do for them. A time of crisis is not a normal time, so normal etiquette, such as asking if you can or should do something rather than just letting them know you're going to do it, doesn't always apply.

If there's a specific thing with specific tasks, such as planning a funeral, that might be a good opportunity to ask how you can help. But people deep in the throes of grief or struggle often need someone to the reins on basic things without being asked to. Again, there's a good chance they feel like they're drowning, so don't wait for an invitation. Just grab the life preserver, put it around them and do whatever needs to be done to get them to shore.

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Music’s biggest night took place Sunday, February 4 with the 66th Annual GRAMMY Awards. Now, fans have the opportunity to take home a piece of the famed event.

Longtime GRAMMY Awards partner Mastercard is using this year’s campaign to shine a light on the environment and the Priceless Planet Coalition (PPC), a forest restoration program with the goal of restoring 100 million trees. Music fans are 1.5 times more likely to take action to help the environment, making the GRAMMY Awards the perfect opportunity to raise awareness.

“Through our GRAMMY Awards campaign, we’ve created an opportunity for our brand, our partners and consumers to come together over shared values, to participate during a moment when we can celebrate our passion for music and our commitment to make meaningful investments to preserve the environment,” says Rustom Dastoor, Executive Vice President of Marketing and Communications, North America at Mastercard.

The campaign kicked off with an inspired self-guided multi-sensory tour at the GRAMMY House presented by Mastercard, where people journeyed through their passion of music and educational experience about Mastercard’s longstanding commitment to tree restoration. Then, this year’s most-nominated GRAMMY artist and a passionate voice for the environment, SZA, led the charge with the debut performance of her new song, Saturn.

Mastercard’s partners are also joining the mission by encouraging people all over the country to participate; Lyft and Sirius XM are both offering ways for consumers to get involved in the Priceless Planet Coalition. To learn more about how you can support these efforts, visit mastercard.com/forceofnature.

While fashion is always a highlight of any GRAMMY Awards event, SZA’s outfit worn during her performance of Saturn was designed to make a statement; made of tree seeds to help spread awareness. Fans can even comment ‘🌱’ and tag a friend on Mastercard’s designated post of SZA’s GRAMMY House performance for a chance to win a tree seed from the performance outfit*.

“SZA has a personal passion for sustainability – not just in forest restoration but in the clothes she wears and the platforms and partners she aligns herself with. It was important to us to partner with someone who is not only showing up big at the GRAMMY Awards – as the most GRAMMY-nominated artist this year – but also showing up big for the environment,” says Dastoor.

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NICU nurse adopts 14-year-old patient who delivered triplets alone

“I knew it would be impossible to find a foster home that would take all four of them. No one was going to take a teen mom and her preemie triplets.”

NICU nurse adopts teen with three babies.

Having your first baby is a scary experience. Everything is new—you've quite literally never done this before—not to mention an entire human is going to be removed from your body one way or another. Childbirth, no matter how your baby leaves your body, is not for the weak. But imagine giving birth alone to not just one baby, but three, all at the same time. Then imagine doing that feat at the age of 14.

Shariya Small experienced that scenario in a hospital in Indiana, and her nurse Katrina Mullen took note. Small's babies were premature, born at just 26 weeks, when the average gestation for triplets is 33 weeks, according to ReproductiveFacts.org. Due to their early birth, the babies, Serenitee, Samari and Sarayah, had to stay in the NICU at Community Hospital North in Indianapolis for more than five months, according to Today.com.

During their time in the NICU, Mullen noticed the young mom visited her babies alone, not appearing to have much of a support system. “She’d be there alone for days at a time sitting at her babies’ bedside,” Mullen told Today.com.

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5 reasons WishGarden Herbs is revolutionizing herbal supplements

Discover the artisanal approach and deep-rooted wisdom behind today’s most innovative herbal solutions

In a world where wellness often comes bottled in synthetic formulas, WishGarden Herbs stands out like a breath of fresh mountain air. Established in 1979, this family-owned gem has been quietly revolutionizing the herbal supplement industry with its artisanal approach and a deep-rooted wisdom that only comes from decades of dedicated practice. Nestled in the lush landscapes of Colorado, WishGarden Herbs is not just another supplement company; it's a beacon of hope for those seeking a more natural path to health and well-being.

So, what makes them so unique? From their handcrafted, small-batch production methods to their commitment to sustainability and community, each reason is a testament to their unwavering dedication to redefining herbal wellness. Get ready to be enlightened, inspired, and, perhaps, pleasantly surprised!

Tradition Meets Innovation

At WishGarden Herbs, the past and future of herbalism blend seamlessly. Born in the heart of the herbal renaissance of the late 70s, this trailblazing company has its roots firmly planted in traditional herbal wisdom. It's not just about herbs; it's about a legacy of healing, and a deep understanding of plant power passed down through generations.

But don't think that WishGarden is stuck in the past for a second. They're leading the charge with modern innovation, like crafting condition-specific blends that are as unique as the individuals they help. This fusion of time-honored knowledge with cutting-edge science isn't just revolutionary—it's changing the game in herbal supplements, making ancient wisdom accessible and relevant in our modern world.

Artisanal Quality in Every Bottle

In a world where mass production is king, WishGarden Herbs stands out with its commitment to artisanal craftsmanship. Each bottle of their herbal extract is crafted with the kind of personal touch that only small-batch production can offer. Their herbalists blend each formula with a meticulous eye for detail, ensuring that every drop holds the essence of nature's healing power.

This isn't your run-of-the-mill, factory-line supplement. It's a labor of love, where quality trumps quantity every time. In every bottle from WishGarden, you're not just getting an herbal supplement. You're experiencing the culmination of care, expertise, and passion. This unwavering dedication to artisanal quality sets each of their products apart as a true testament to the power of handcrafted perfection.

Pioneering Specific Condition Blends

WishGarden Herbs isn't just mixing herbs for the sake of it; they're pioneers in creating specific blends for specific conditions. It's like having a herbal concierge for your health. Whether it's a blend to soothe your stress, boost your immune system, or enhance your sleep, they've got an herbal remedy tailored just for that.

This isn't a one-size-fits-all approach. Each blend is a symphony of ingredients chosen for their targeted efficacy and safety, working harmoniously to address your unique health needs. With formulations for the whole family—kids, pregnancy, postpartum and adults—this thoughtful, precise formulation makes their products not just supplements but personalized herbal solutions. With WishGarden, you're not just taking herbs. You're embarking on a wellness journey.

Commitment to Sustainability

WishGarden Herbs isn’t just about what’s inside the bottle; their heart beats for the planet, too. In a world crying out for sustainability, they're not just listening—they're leading. WishGarden Herbs ensures every single ingredient is sustainably sourced, respecting the earth and the delicate balance of our ecosystems. And in 2023, their peerless commitment to green practices was officially recognized by the Nutrition Business Journal, which awarded WishGarden Herbs their prestigious Supply Chain Integrity Award.

At WishGarden Herbs, sustainability is more than just a business model; it's a pledge to Mother Nature. By choosing wild-harvested and organic herbs, WishGarden is tapping into the pulse of what conscious consumers crave today—products that heal us and the planet. So, when you pick a WishGarden product, you're not just choosing your health. You're also choosing the Earth's well-being.

Community and Education Focus

WishGarden Herbs
goes beyond just selling products; they're nurturing a community. Through educational efforts and outreach, they're spreading the word about the wonders of herbal remedies.

It's not just about buying herbs; it's about understanding them, too. They empower their customers with knowledge, transforming them from mere consumers into informed, health-conscious community members.

Learn More

Ready to join the herbal revolution? Click here to dive into WishGarden Herbs and discover the blend that speaks to your health needs. It's more than a supplement; it's a step towards empowered, natural wellness. Choose WishGarden, where every bottle promises purity, potency, and planetary love.
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How often do you change your sheets?

If you were to ask a random group of people, "How often do you wash your sheets?" you'd likely get drastically different answers. There are the "Every single Sunday without fail" folks, the "Who on Earth washes their sheets weekly?!?" people and everyone in between.

According to a survey of 1,000 Americans conducted by Mattress Advisor, the average time between sheet changings or washings in the U.S. is 24 days—or every 3 1/2 weeks, approximately. The same survey revealed that 35 days is the average interval at which unwashed sheets are "gross."

Some of you are cringing at those stats while others are thinking, "That sounds about right." But how often should you wash your sheets, according to experts?

Hint: It's a lot more frequent than 24 days.

While there is no definitive number of days or weeks, most experts recommend swapping out used sheets for clean ones every week or two.

Dermatologist Alok Vij, MD told Cleveland Clinic that people should wash their sheets at least every two weeks, but probably more often if you have pets, live in a hot climate, sweat a lot, are recovering from illness, have allergies or asthma or if you sleep naked.

We shed dead skin all the time, and friction helps those dead skin cells slough off, so imagine what's happening every time you roll over and your skin rubs on the sheets. It's normal to sweat in your sleep, too, so that's also getting on your sheets. And then there's dander and dust mites and dirt that we carry around on us just from living in the world, all combining to make for pretty dirty sheets in a fairly short period of time, even if they look "clean."

Maybe if you shower before bed and always wear clean pajamas you could get by with a two-week sheet swap cycle, but weekly sheet cleaning seems to be the general consensus among the experts. The New York Times consulted five books about laundry and cleaning habits, and once a week was what they all recommend.

Sorry, once-a-monthers. You may want to step up your sheet game a bit.

What about the rest of your bedding? Blankets and comforters and whatnot?

Sleep.com recommends washing your duvet cover once a week, but this depends on whether you use a top sheet. Somewhere between the Gen X and Millennial eras, young folks stopped being about the top sheet life, just using their duvet with no top sheet. If that's you, wash that baby once a week. If you do use a top sheet, you can go a couple weeks longer on the duvet cover.

For blankets and comforters and duvet inserts, Sleep.com says every 3 months. And for decorative blankets and quilts that you don't really use, once a year washing will suffice.

What about pillows? Pillowcases should go in with the weekly sheet washing, but pillows themselves should be washed every 3 to 6 months. Washing pillows can be a pain, and if you don't do it right, you can end up with a lumpy pillow, but it's a good idea because between your sweat, saliva and skin cells, pillows can start harboring bacteria.

Finally, how about the mattress itself? Home influencers on TikTok can often be seen stripping their beds, sprinkling their mattress with baking soda, brushing it into the mattress fibers and then vacuuming it all out. Architectural Digest says the longer you leave baking soda on the mattress, the better—at least a few hours, but preferably overnight. Some people add a few drops of essential oil to the baking soda for some extra yummy smell.

If that all sounds like way too much work, maybe just start with the sheets. Pick a day of the week and make it your sheet washing day. You might find that climbing into a clean, fresh set of sheets more often is a nice way to feel pampered without a whole lot of effort.

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What would happen if all the Earth's ice melted?

There will be serious problems on both U.S. coasts.

What would happen if all the ice melted?

Ten percent of the land area on Earth is covered with glacial ice, which includes ice sheets on Greenland and Antarctica, ice caps and glaciers. Unfortunately, 750 billion tons of Earth’s ice is melting yearly due to climate change.

If climate change isn’t stopped, this will lead to disastrous consequences for the entire planet.

"As a result of this, ice around the world is melting and raising the planet's sea level. The oceans already rose 6 centimeters during the course of the 19th century. But they rose by 19 centimeters during the 20th century, over 3 times faster than they rose in the previous century,” says a video produced by Real Life Lore. “NOAA estimates that global sea level could rise by up to 2.5 meters by the year 2100. Which would have devastating consequences."

Real Life Lore has over 7 million subscribers to its videos covering geography and world populations.

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Teacher asks teen daughter to mend a student's coat and gets it back with a funny surprise

“My student was grinning when he showed me the note. He kept looking at it in class and smiling..."

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Sweetness stitched into every bit of this story.

Some stories are wholesome. Others are hilarious. Others still restore some faith in humanity. This one is a combination of all three.

A teacher shared on Reddit how he took his student’s torn coat home so that his crafty daughter could mend the pocket. As he explained in his post, the student didn't seem to have the funds to fix it on his own or replace the jacket.

His daughter didn’t only sew up the jacket, but left her own cheeky bit of “11th grade advice” in note hidden in the coat’s pocket.

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Woman reveals the meaningful phrase her mom used that changed her life as a child

"I feel like this would even benefit adults in a marriage, friendship, etc."

Woman reveals magic phrase mom used that changed her life

There's always advice out there for parents that promise to be the game changer everyone's been looking for but since every child is different, the claim rarely rings true. But this piece of advice might just do the thing it claims because it's such a simple shift and allows for both parent and child to feel validated in tough situations.

Anjuli Paschall recently posted a video sharing a phrase her mom used with her as a child that changed her life. She shares that over Christmas break she was washing the family's antique china, five of the fragile dishes fell to the floor and shattered. At the sound of the noise, Paschall's mom screamed from the other room, "I love you more than those dishes."

A simple reassuring phrase that Paschall has heard all of her life reassuring her that mistakes happen but her mom will always love her more.

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