14 compliments that have nothing to do with looks and everything to do with being an amazing human
I might use some of these. You wanna join me?
Artist Caroline Caldwell is my new favorite human being.
She decided that people needed some ideas for how to compliment each other on things besides looks and physical appearance.
Why? Well ... the whole looks-complimenting thing is kinda played out dontcha think?
So she collaborated with fellow artist-writer Van Nguyen and bam.
Here are her non-physical appearance ideas, and I love them.
Used with permission from artist Caroline Caldwell. By the way, getting permission is a great way to compliment an artist! Just sayin'. Caroline's other fabulous works that I INSIST you check out are on her website Dirt Worship.
Just read these through a couple times and enjoy, then head on over to her site. Go on. I'll wait.
I'm writing them all out (with her permission, natch) so we can memorize them all and make the world a more fun place. You in?
Here we go.
COMPLIMENTS THAT ARENT ABOUT PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
1. You're empowering.
2. I never thought fannypacks could look cool 'til you.
3. You're strong.
4. I'm so happy you exist.
5. It's nice to see such kindness.
Can I just say if anyone told me this, I would do an emotional cartwheel???
6. I hope we know each other for a long time.
7. I bet if Britney Spears knew you, 2008 would've gone a lot differently.
Oh man. This one hits me (baby, one more time) close to home and my 2008 heart. <3 you, Brit!
8. I would trust you with my passwords.
9. You call your grandmom the exact right amount.
10. You inspire me to be a better person.
11. Your ideas matter.
12. You have great taste in ______.
Sandwiches? Friendly baristas in your neighborhood? Weird American tourist spots? You get me.
13. You're so fun to talk to.
Especially if you're giving these amazing compliments! Geez!
14. I bet you're amazing at chess.
I'm so bad at chess but I like that you think I'd be good at it. Yes, I'm responding to this art like it's a person, so what?! :)
Ahhh. That felt good. We all deserve to be seen (and complimented) like this.
Imagine what it would feel like to be walking down the street and get one of these?
Better yet, imagine what it would feel like to give one? Well, you don't have to imagine. You have the words, you have the heart, you have the power, you have the force!
Go on out there and get to complimenting! Who knows what might happen.
And be on the look out for these compliments. Here's hoping we hear many more of them. <3
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."