+
upworthy

Zoe Saldana and her husband are making us reconsider last-name traditions. Here's why that's great.

Zoe and Marco Saldana made news by defying one major social norm. Here's why that's a huge deal.

When Zoe Saldana and Marco Perego got married in 2013, the couple bucked tradition when Marco took Zoe's last name.

While there are a lot of women who opt to either keep their last name or use a hyphenated version of it, it's rare to hear about the husband adopting his wife's name.

According to InStyle, Zoe tried to talk Marco out of it, saying, "If you use my name, you're going to be emasculated by your community of artists, by your Latin community of men, by the world."


His response was right on: "Ah Zoe, I don't give a s--t."

Photo by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images for AOL.

Most women do take their husband's last name.

60% of respondents in a 2013 Huffington Post/YouGov poll said women should take their husband's last name. More than half of those polled believed that men shouldn't even be allowed to take their wife's name.

Some couples opt for hyphenated names, but it's typically reserved for wives.

When she married Jay-Z in 2008, Beyoncé legally changed her name from Beyoncé Knowles to Beyoncé Knowles-Carter (there are conflicting reports as to whether Jay-Z adopted the hyphenated name as well).

And, no, there's not a conflict between that and her self-identifying as a "modern-day feminist."

Photo by Buda Mendes/Getty Images.

Some opt to take their husband's last name and make their maiden name into a middle name.

This is what Hillary Clinton did. By birth, she was Hillary Diane Rodham. When she got married in 1975, she changed her name to Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton.

Photo by Adam Berry/Getty Images.

No matter what someone decides to do with their name, it's a deeply personal subject.

In 2013, Women's Health polled Men's Health readers on the question of last names for an article titled "How Men REALLY Feel When You Keep Your Last Name."

The answers ranged from possessive to extremely possessive.

63% of men surveyed said they'd be upset if their wives kept their birth names.

"One family, one name," one of the men responded. "If she didn't take my name, I'd seriously question her faith in us lasting as a couple."

“It sounds like she's trying to hang onto her 'single person' identity and not identify with the fact that she's married now," wrote another.

96% of men surveyed said they wouldn't consider taking their wives' last name, even if asked.

"My name is part of who I am," a man wrote, demonstrating the disconnect between the idea that men are entitled to their names while their wives are not.

"It's not happening," said another.

Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images.

Of course, it's perfectly acceptable for a woman to change her name should she want to, or to take her maiden name as a middle name. Lots of women do, and their reasons for doing so are their own.

But when you consider why women are expected to give up their names while men are not, it's a little surprising that more couples aren't choosing to do what Zoe and Marco Saldana have done.

By speaking about their decision, the Saldanas are helping establish a precedent and dismantling some of the gendered aspects of traditional marriage ... and that's a good thing.

All images provided by Prudential Emerging Visionaries

Collins after being selected by Prudential Emerging Visionaries

True

A changemaker is anyone who takes creative action to solve an ongoing problem—be it in one’s own community or throughout the world.

And when it comes to creating positive change, enthusiasm and a fresh perspective can hold just as much power as years of experience. That’s why, every year, Prudential Emerging Visionaries celebrates young people for their innovative solutions to financial and societal challenges in their communities.

This national program awards 25 young leaders (ages 14-18) up to $15,000 to devote to their passion projects. Additionally, winners receive a trip to Prudential’s headquarters in Newark, New Jersey, where they receive coaching, skills development, and networking opportunities with mentors to help take their innovative solutions to the next level.

For 18-year-old Sydnie Collins, one of the 2023 winners, this meant being able to take her podcast, “Perfect Timing,” to the next level.

Since 2020, the Maryland-based teen has provided a safe platform that promotes youth positivity by giving young people the space to celebrate their achievements and combat mental health stigmas. The idea came during the height of Covid-19, when Collins recalled social media “becoming a dark space flooded with news,” which greatly affected her own anxiety and depression.

Knowing that she couldn’t be the only one feeling this way, “Perfect Timing” seemed like a valuable way to give back to her community. Over the course of 109 episodes, Collins has interviewed a wide range of guests—from other young influencers to celebrities, from innovators to nonprofit leaders—all to remind Gen Z that “their dreams are tangible.”

That mission statement has since evolved beyond creating inspiring content and has expanded to hosting events and speaking publicly at summits and workshops. One of Collins’ favorite moments so far has been raising $7,000 to take 200 underserved girls to see “The Little Mermaid” on its opening weekend, to “let them know they are enough” and that there’s an “older sister” in their corner.

Of course, as with most new projects, funding for “Perfect Timing” has come entirely out of Collins’ pocket. Thankfully, the funding she earned from being selected as a Prudential Emerging Visionary is going toward upgraded recording equipment, the support of expert producers, and skill-building classes to help her become a better host and public speaker. She’ll even be able to lease an office space that allows for a live audience.

Plus, after meeting with the 24 other Prudential Emerging Visionaries and her Prudential employee coach, who is helping her develop specific action steps to connect with her target audience, Collins has more confidence in a “grander path” for her work.

“I learned that my network could extend to multiple spaces beyond my realm of podcasting and journalism when industry leaders are willing to share their expertise, time, and financial support,” she told Upworthy. “It only takes one person to change, and two people to expand that change.”

Prudential Emerging Visionaries is currently seeking applicants for 2024. Winners may receive up to $15,000 in awards and an all-expenses-paid trip to Prudential’s headquarters with a parent or guardian, as well as ongoing coaching and skills development to grow their projects.

If you or someone you know between the ages of 14 -18 not only displays a bold vision for the future but is taking action to bring that vision to life, click here to learn more. Applications are due by Nov. 2, 2023.
Family

The Gen X 'stay at home mom' crisis is real, but what's the solution?

Some moms in their 40s feel like they were lied to about what their "resume gap" would mean.

40-something moms who stayed home to be with their kids are finding themselves in uncharted waters.

A few generations ago, parents had pretty clearly defined roles, with the dad generally being the breadwinner and the mom being the homemaker/stay-at-home mother. Then women's rights movement came along, empowering women in the workplace, ushering in the era of two working parents and producing an entire generation of "latchkey kids."

Now those Gen X latchkey kids are parenting Gen Z, with the pendulum of working motherhood having swung somewhat to the middle. We were raised to believe we could be anything we dreamed of being and that we didn't have to choose between being a mom and having a career. Gen X also became mothers during the heyday of parenting self-help books that impressed upon us the importance of attachment and hands-on childrearing, as well as the era of super-scheduled kids, whose activities alone require a full-time manager.

As a result, those of us in our 40s have raised our kids straddling two worlds—the one where women can have all of the career success we desire and the one where we can choose to be stay-at-home moms who do all the things. At first, we were told we could have it all, but when the impossibility of that became clear, we were told, "Well, you can have it all, just not at the same time."

But as many moms are finding as their kids start leaving the nest, even that isn't the full truth.

Keep ReadingShow less
Identity

Mom stands strong after another parent criticizes her child's 'disgusting' Asian lunches

It’s encouraging to know that hundreds of people took her side and supported her.

A young girl eats with chopsticks.

A story recently posted on Reddit shows a mother confidently standing up for her culture and daughter in the face of intolerance. Reddit user Paste-Clouds-808 shared the story on the AITA forum to ask who was right in the situation.

Over 2,900 people commented on the story, and they overwhelmingly agreed that it was her.

The mother, 38, regularly cooks Asian foods for her daughter Lily, 7, and packs them in her school lunch. The mother was raised by a half-Japanese mom, so the foods have always been a part of her life, and her family loves them, too.

“Oftentimes I’ll either give my daughter some leftovers from last night's dinner, plus a fruit/veggie and a snack, or I’ll make her a quick little bento box or some other thing really quick,” the mother wrote.

Keep ReadingShow less
Joy

Single woman shares the hilarious 'deal breaker' she uses when she doesn't want a second date

Jo Brundza has mastered the art of painlessly getting out of a second date by making them reject her.

How Jo Brundza gets out of a date.

It's uncomfortable for people to tell someone they met for a first date that they aren’t interested in a second one because nobody enjoys hurting another person’s feelings. TikTokker Jo Brundza has mastered the art of painlessly getting out of a second date by making them reject her.

How does she do it? Once she realizes she doesn’t want to see them again, she rants about the moon.

“From that realization and on, I spend the rest of the date trying to convince the other person that I don’t think the moon is real,” she says. Now, many folks out there incorrectly believe that the moon landing was faked, but she goes a step further by saying the massive object doesn’t exist at all.

Keep ReadingShow less

This kid gives an impressive acting performance.

Some kids just have a natural knack for acting. Frequently, a flair for the dramatics can cause parents significant grief (Ferris Bueller-style) but it can also be a source of non-stop entertainment.

A viral video of a kid putting on an Oscar-worthy performance in his new Halloween costume is a prime example.

The video shared by @saddiegau on TikTok has been viewed a million times, and when you watch it you'll see why. The kid dons an inflatable costume that makes it look like a large green alien is carrying him around, which is pretty funny all on its own. But the horror movie scene that ensues is practically an acting masterclass.

Keep ReadingShow less
Family

Husband fulfills pregnant wife's every food craving—from rice crispy sliders to 'sweetdogs'

Pregnancy cravings can leave expectant mothers fantasizing about the strangest culinary concoctions.

@kayandtayofficial/TikTok

They should really make a cookbook.

Pregnancy cravings can leave expectant mothers fantasizing about the strangest culinary concoctions.

It goes so far beyond pickles and ice cream—women might find themselves pulling up to a McDonald’s drive thru when previously they never ate red meat, piling different forms of dairy products onto one another, dipping Cheetos into literally everything.

And that’s not even accounting for the non-food cravings that some women report having, like laundry detergent, chalk, paper, dirt. Yum.

And while cravings are a natural part of pregnancy—caused by the body seeking certain nutrients or to balance out dopamine levels—it doesn’t make them any less of a wild ride.

Keep ReadingShow less
Image from Pixabay.

Under the sea...

True
The Wilderness Society


You're probably familiar with the literary classic "Moby-Dick."

But in case you're not, here's the gist: Moby Dick is the name of a huge albino sperm whale.

(Get your mind outta the gutter.)

Keep ReadingShow less