OK, climate change, this really isn't cool anymore.
It's bad enough that you're playing havoc with weather patterns, spreading drought and disease, and displacing millions of people worldwide.
Do you have to ruin everything we loved from our childhood too?
You're slowly but surely wrecking polar bears.
And The Maldives.
Now, you're seriously going after the Iditarod?
We all learned about — and loved — the Iditarod in the third grade.
It was a big deal for us! It's the reason we have vague nostalgia for diphtheria of all things.
If you grew up within 50 miles of New York City, chances are you took a field trip to the statue of Balto in Central Park.
We all rooted for Mackenzie Astin to rally and cross that finish line to prove to his dead father he was a winner, dammit.
For an 8-year-old, what's not to love about a 1,000-mile sled dog race? What's not to love about an 1,000-mile sled dog race for a grown man or woman?
This year, race organizers were forced to shorten the ceremonial beginning of the race ... because there wasn't enough snow. In Anchorage, Alaska.
According to a CNN report, there was so little powder in the area that tons of snow had to be trucked in to make even the dramatically shortened course viable.
Snow fell on just one day in February, making the total snowfall just 1.8 inches for the month. Anchorage had the fourth warmest February on record this year. This season, Anchorage has only picked up 27.6 inches of snow compared to a seasonal average of 60 inches, according to CBS affiliate KTVA.
What the hell, climate change?
2015 was the second-warmest year on record in Alaska.
The warmest? 2014. This January was the fifth warmest ever for the state.
Unsurprisingly, lack of snow has caused problems — minor and major — for the last three Iditarods, including forced route changes and even injuries to participants in the race.
The mushers have been adjusting to warmer conditions for more than a decade, but it's getting more and more difficult to run the race the traditional way every year.
This is seriously, 100% it. We've had enough of your BS, climate change. We're taking the Iditarod — and the rest of the planet — back.
At the end of last year, 195 countries signed the most significant climate agreement in Earth's history. It commits the signatories to doing everything in their power to reduce emissions in order to keep average global temperatures from rising more than 2 degrees Celsius.
Problem is, those commitments are voluntary. The wrong politician comes to power in the wrong country, and the whole thing could blow up.
So here's what we have to do: Vote for politicians who not only believe that climate change is real but want to do something about it.
Here's a list of where each of the current crop of U.S. presidential candidates stand (including those who have already dropped out of the race).
If we stand up to climate change, we can Make Sled Dog Racing Great Again in no time.
Spread the word, call your congressmen, and most importantly, vote.
Let's do this thing, people. For the Iditarod.
Never forget: Snow guts, snow glory.