People share the healthy relationship behaviors they see in healthy couples.
Romantic relationships that last a lifetime are built different, and truly happy (and healthy) couples are obvious to those around them.
It's why TurnoverEmotional249 posed this question on Reddit discussing relationships: "What do all the happy long-term couples you know have in common?"
Happy long-term couples clearly have fostered healthy relationships and hold wisdom that can help others create the same relationship success. These are 25 things they nail when it comes to love, according to those who have witnessed it.
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"They like each other." —RomulaFour
"Perhaps even more importantly, they want to like each other. The failed marriages I've observed often involve one or both partners playing snake in the grass 'gotcha' games of passive-aggressive contempt. The benefit of the doubt is essential to useful communication and goodwill." —uzQP
"There was a point, 10-15 years ago, when I realized I was looking for reasons to be angry with my spouse so I could feel self-righteous for putting up with 'all her crap'. When I realized what I was doing I was appalled. But realizing it was a step in my next phase of growing up. We’ll be married 36 years in April and we’re closer than we’ve ever been." —porkchop_d_down
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"My brother and his wife were high school sweet hearts and got married their senior year. He's 65. He's the strong, silent type and she's the social butterfly. When I think about them, I think about teamwork. So, maybe that's it. They do everything together." —Sherry0406
"I'm going to throw out one that several people have touched on, but not explicitly: Happy couples don't keep score. I can't tell you how many times I've heard couples saying things like, 'I watched the kids for 40 minutes while you were running, but only got to play guitar for 35 minutes… so you owe me 5 minutes.' And that, ladies and gentlemen, is when you run… because the end is coming. I'm not saying fairness is not important, but needs are not always equally distributed. I stayed home with our kids for years, working at night, because I had the mental and physical bandwidth to do it. If I had been keeping score back then we would not still be married after all these years." —WaitingForEmacs
"My husband and I were married 47 years when he passed. We joked that it was because we never both wanted a divorce on the same day. Now that I’m alone, I see where our love made each of us a better person. And we both knew that all along." —olauntsal
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"My parents ( married 64 years) shared some interests but also had their own. They loved spending time together but enjoyed their time apart. They were definitely a couple but respected each other’s differences. They also use to joke ( I think) about how they stayed together because neither of them wanted the children!!" —jlhinthecountry
"Couples who share the same realistic goals learn to correct each other when veering off the path forward. It's ok to gnaw on each other but reserve bites for very serious issues. I have very little in common with my wife but somehow we have built a beautiful life together since we met in 1982." —WokeUp2
"My grandmother had a love story I envy. She was divorced and met her soul mate at 55. They enjoyed life so much by just doing things together, nothing fancy puzzles, senior citizen activities, etc. They genuinely enjoyed each others company and were always on the go. At 83 my step grandfather died and that same year my grandmother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She said that god took him first to spare him the pain of watching her die." —User Unknown
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"They’re genuinely partners. They like each other and look forward to conversations with each other. When I’m around them I am with a solid unit, not two separate islands." —hellospheredo
"Married 30 years here. I think we’re 'happy' because we understand that we’re not always going to be happy. We’re going to argue, disagree, and feel irritable sometimes, but we know this, and therefore keep chugging along. After all this time, we apologize within a very short amount of time after a tiff. That makes me happy, that we can continually move forward together so quickly like that. The majority of the time, we thoroughly enjoy life together. We might be happy but we’re also human. I could make a long list of all the happy things about our relationship but wanted to be transparent, too. So, that’s my take. 😊" —Relative_Wishbone_51
"Their primary focus is the relationship. They turn towards each other, they treat each other with respect, as equals, and they don't let outside influences affect their marriage. They make it a point to have fun together. They are, with one or two exceptions, from stable two parent homes." —VicePrincipalNero
"Selflessness. Great couples are ones where both people think of the others need and desires above themselves. The key here is both." —OldAndOldSchool
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"Sense of humor about themselves and their faults." —mama146
"They forgive each other quickly. They reconcile and have short memories." —Tariq_Epstein
"Each person in the couple has their own friends, support system, hobbies and interests outside of the relationship. They are not codependent on their partner and do not rely on their partner for ALL of their emotional needs." —User Unknown
"They disagree well, to the point that they can both say what they think knowing that if the other person disagrees it's perfectly ok, so it just sounds like a conversation." —ButterPotatoHead
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"They respected their vows, even when they didn’t like each other. They would seek advice and assistance from other long married couples (in our case, we looked to our grandparents ) and marriage counselors when necessary. If they had children, they were on the same page with each other about discipline, etc. And finally, off the top of my head, and I don’t love acknowledging this but the happiest long-term couples I know, some gay, some straight, are childless." —sodiumbigolli
"They are friends with realistic expectations of each other. And they enjoy hanging out together but are also content with time apart." —edzeusky