Single dad slams 'deadbeat' ex for not wanting custody of their child. The internet takes her side.
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A single dad who was overwhelmed with raising a child on his own took to reddit to whine about how he is stuck taking care of his kid after the court gave him full custody.

The twist? His wife wanted to have an abortion, he wouldn't let her, and once the child was born she agreed to give him full custody and pay child support. This dad somehow still managed to go on an internet rant about her alleged shortcomings, going as far as referring to her as a "deadbeat mom." Cool, dude.

I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all.

We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born.

"I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? "

He essentially mapped out all the ways in which this woman did what was agreed upon, and yet seems to be looking for sympathy here. Because the internet sometimes isn't an explosive trash fire, sympathy is not what he got.


People were quick to point out how these daddy issues are a result of his own making, not his ex's. As the kids say, the internet clapped back.

Reddit user Byte73 was quick to point out the father's blatant hypocrisy.

"I'd say she's a good mom. She was clear what her terms were for having the child that she didn't want. You agreed to those terms. She's paying child support and by what you're saying, she is paying more than she has to. Out of the two of you, she is the one who has the kid's best interests at heart. You either need to do your part like you agreed on or give the kid up for adoption and put all three of you out of your misery. Because she wanted to abort the child, only kept it because of your insistence andis doing the share of the work that was agreed on, I really don't think that you have a leg to stand on, legally speaking. I'm sorry that you're not finding parenthood to be the fairytale dreamland that you thought it would be, but it was your choice and you have to live with it."

Damn, nothing like ending your clapback with, "live with it."

Zarbi92 did NOT hold back when it came to shutting down the OP.

So let me get this straight. You resent the child you forced someone else to bring in to the world under the condition that you be the sole caregiver? You want to force someone who DOES NOT WANT anything to do with this child to share caretaking? First off, why would you want to damage your child like that by forcing them to spend time with someone who wants nothing to do with them. That doesn't make you a very good father at all. Second, why are you calling her a deadbeat? How can you call someone you forced to give birth, under the condition that she has nothing to do with the child, a deadbeat when she pays MORE than the required child support? And third, no. The courts will not force someone who wants nothing to do with a child to take care of them other than financially, because that could endanger the child."

Be right back, starting a campaign to raise money for t-shirts that say "And third of all, no" on them.

evilbunnyofdeath took the high road by commending the mom on how she's handled this.

"Good on her for getting out of such an abusive relationship! I'm also impressed that she seems to be working hard on herself by hitting up the gym."

This person raised a great point by calling him out for trying throw shade at his ex for working on her health and physical appearance. This dude is clearly salty about how the woman who never agreed to raise a child with him is now... not raising a child with him, and doing so while looking like a snack. Sorry, bro.

The moral of the story here is to remember what you signed up for. Seems obvious, but some people have a harder time with this than others. Also, if you are going to be bitter about sleeping in the bed you made, maybe don't post about it online. You will likely get your ass handed to you, just like this "poor" guy did.

This article was originally published by our partners at someecards and was written by Irene Fagan Merrow.

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Judy Vaughan has spent most of her life helping other women, first as the director of House of Ruth, a safe haven for homeless families in East Los Angeles, and later as the Project Coordinator for Women for Guatemala, a solidarity organization committed to raising awareness about human rights abuses.

But in 1996, she decided to take things a step further. A house became available in the mid-Wilshire area of Los Angeles and she was offered the opportunity to use it to help other women and children. So, in partnership with a group of 13 people who she knew from her years of activism, she decided to make it a transitional residence program for homeless women and their children. They called the program Alexandria House.

"I had learned from House of Ruth that families who are homeless are often isolated from the surrounding community," Judy says. "So we decided that as part of our mission, we would also be a neighborhood center and offer a number of resources and programs, including an after-school program and ESL classes."

She also decided that, unlike many other shelters in Los Angeles, she would accept mothers with their teenage boys.

"There are very few in Los Angeles [that do] due to what are considered liability issues," Judy explains. "Given the fact that there are (conservatively) 56,000 homeless people and only about 11,000 shelter beds on any one night, agencies can be selective on who they take."

Their Board of Directors had already determined that they should take families that would have difficulties finding a place. Some of these challenges include families with more than two children, immigrant families without legal documents, moms who are pregnant with other small children, families with a member who has a disability [and] families with service dogs.

"Being separated from your son or sons, especially in the early teen years, just adds to the stress that moms who are unhoused are already experiencing," Judy says.

"We were determined to offer women with teenage boys another choice."

Courtesy of Judy Vaughan

Alexandria House also doesn't kick boys out when they turn 18. For example, Judy says they currently have a mom with two daughters (21 and 2) and a son who just turned 18. The family had struggled to find a shelter that would take them all together, and once they found Alexandria House, they worried the boy would be kicked out on his 18th birthday. But, says Judy, "we were not going to ask him to leave because of his age."

Homelessness is a big issue in Los Angeles. "[It] is considered the homeless capital of the United States," Judy says. "The numbers have not changed significantly since 1984 when I was working at the House of Ruth." The COVID-19 pandemic has only compounded the problem. According to Los Angeles Homeless Services Authority (LAHSA), over 66,000 people in the greater Los Angeles area were experiencing homelessness in 2020, representing a rise of 12.7% compared with the year before.

Each woman who comes to Alexandria House has her own unique story, but some common reasons for ending up homeless include fleeing from a domestic violence or human trafficking situation, aging out of foster care and having no place to go, being priced out of an apartment, losing a job, or experiencing a family emergency with no 'cushion' to pay the rent.

"Homelessness is not a definition; it is a situation that a person finds themselves in, and in fact, it can happen to almost anyone. There are many practices and policies that make it almost impossible to break out of poverty and move out of homelessness."

And that's why Alexandria House exists: to help them move out of it. How long that takes depends on the woman, but according to Judy, families stay an average of 10 months. During that time, the women meet with support staff to identify needs and goals and put a plan of action in place.

A number of services are provided, including free childcare, programs and mentoring for school-age children, free mental health counseling, financial literacy classes and a savings program. They have also started Step Up Sisterhood LA, an entrepreneurial program to support women's dreams of starting their own businesses. "We serve as a support system for as long as a family would like," Judy says, even after they have moved on.

And so far, the program is a resounding success.

92 percent of the 200 families who stayed at Alexandria House have found financial stability and permanent housing — not becoming homeless again.

Since founding Alexandria House 25 years ago, Judy has never lost sight of her mission to join with others and create a vision of a more just society and community. That is why she is one of Tory Burch's Empowered Women this year — and the donation she receives as a nominee will go to Alexandria House and will help grow the new Start-up Sisterhood LA program.

"Alexandria House is such an important part of my life," says Judy. "It has been amazing to watch the children grow up and the moms recreate their lives for themselves and for their families. I have witnessed resiliency, courage, and heroic acts of generosity."

The battle between millennials and older generations isn't exactly a generational war—it's more a case of mistaken generational identity. A decade ago, whining about millennials being young adults unprepared to make their way in the world at least made sense mathematically. But when people bag on millennials now they end up looking rather foolish.

A marketing researcher with a doctorate in social psychology wrote an op-ed for the Chicago Tribune titled "Post-pandemic, some millennials finally decide to start #adulting." And when the Tribune shared it to Twitter, their since-deleted tweet read, "Writer Jennifer Rosner predicts COVID-10 lockdowns will force easy-breezy millennials to grow up."

Hoo boy.

Interestingly, the writer of the op-ed is a millennial herself, but she repeats generalizations about her entire generation that seem like they mainly apply to her own social circle. Read it yourself to decide, but regardless, the tweet of the op-ed itself set off a firestorm of responses from millennials who are tired of being painted as irresponsible young people who don't know how to "adult" instead of what they actually are.

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2020 was difficult (to say the least). The year was full of life changes, losses, and lessons as we learned to navigate the "new normal." You may have questions about what the changes and challenges of 2020 mean for your taxes. That's where TurboTax Live comes in, making it easy to connect with real tax experts to help with your taxes – or even do them for you, start to finish.

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"I got my mom a plane ticket to finally [have her] meet [my daughter] for her first birthday," Alana says. "I was also able to get a new computer," which helped her invest in her new business and work on her video editing skills. "It's helped my family and me so much," she says.


Michael, science teacher

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Ricky, motivational youth speaker

As a motivational speaker, Ricky was used to doing his job in person, but, he says, "when COVID-19 hit, it altered my ability to travel and visit schools in person [because] schools moved to fully virtual or hybrid models."

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