+
Pop Culture

People shared 12 of the most surprising 'cries for help' the average person might miss

A dozen important signs you don't want to miss.

subtle signs of suicidal thoughts

Some cries for help can be hard to discern.

“I’m fine.”

How easily these two words slip from our mouths, often when nothing could be further from the truth. Sometimes, it feels safer to hide our true feelings , lest someone make a judgment or have a negative reaction. Other times, it’s a social rule instilled in childhood, perhaps even through punishment. Or maybe denying is the only way to combat overwhelm—if we ignore it all long enough, things will eventually get better anyway.

At the end of the day … it’s all about avoiding further pain, isn’t it?

But this denial can lead to even more suffering—not only emotionally, but physically as well. Everything from stiff muscles , to migraines , to digestive issues can stem from suppressing emotions.


To quote Emily Roberts, M.A., LPC. a psychotherapist , in her article for Mind Body Green , "Deciding to bury your feelings, ignoring them, internalizing them, pretending they didn’t happen, or convincing yourself that there is no need to deal with them can literally make you sick from the stress.”

It also makes it harder for others to help, if they don’t know what’s really going on. Fortunately, mental health continues to be a topic of interest, and open conversations about red flags help to raise awareness and help people better understand one another.

On a recent Ask Reddit thread, people shared their own indirect “cries for help” they’ve either witnessed, or made themselves. Their stories were eye-opening. It’s true that some are better at hiding their struggles than others, but even those individuals often give off subtle warning signs.

You can read them below.

Anger and irritability can be a symptom of depression. It’s harder to empathize with someone who’s having angry outbursts, but it’s still important to recognize. ” – @celolex


Some people become very quiet and docile, like if they've resigned themselves to the minimum. ” – @methyltheobromine_

Purposely avoiding sad and difficult topics. Sometimes when a person is constantly feeling like shit the last thing they want to do is bring up more negativity when hanging out with people they enjoy being around. ” – @sunnyrubberboots

signs of depression, depression vs suicidal

The last thing they want to do is bring up more negativity.

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

Marked differences in behavior where the person becomes way more positive and energetic than normal. We tend to think of these sorts of changes as being good, but any sudden and large enough change in behavior is something you need to keep an eye on. This is especially true if they are going from a very negative pattern of thinking/behavior into an uber-positive one very quickly. Usually, those ‘now I feel like I can conquer the world’ changes are the precursor to suicide attempts and the like .” – [deleted]

I had a girlfriend who occasionally suffered extreme bouts of depression. She’d be high energy then suddenly she would try to sleep as much as possible. She said “it just doesn’t hurt as much when you’re asleep.” Any time I hear anyone sleeping A LOT I know they are having a very difficult time and just try to be there for them. ” – @CharlieTuna_

When they start cutting off contact. That outgoing, happy person suddenly ‘just isn't up to it,’ or [saying] ‘maybe some other time,’ then something is wrong. ” – @driving_andflying

friends with depression

"Maybe next time…"

Photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash

Anhedonia. Losing interest in things a person usually found to be a source of enjoyment. Depression is a very insidious illness and a very isolating one. Sometimes it can be hard to spot, because people are very conditioned to hide it. ” – @kutuup1989

One of the things I used to say when I was suicidal was, ‘I’d never just walk in front of an 18-wheeler, but I wouldn’t get out of the way, either.’ I wanted to die but didn’t want to be the one to do it because I knew that while an accident would absolutely crush my loved ones, me pulling the trigger would likely cause a chain reaction. It’s just a sort of numb acceptance. You wait and sort of hope an opportunity arises. I’m doing better now. But yeah. Second hand suicide is real. ” – @starkrocket

“A reduction in food consumption. I’ve found when I’ve fallen down the hole and I just stop caring anymore I don’t eat anywhere near as much as I normally do. Instead of having the standard 3-4 meal things a day I’ll be lucky to convince myself to have 2 as I simply don’t care anymore. ” – @funland8642

mental health, mental health reddit

I simply don't care anymore.

Photo by jose pena on Unsplash

It may seem a bit obvious, but when someone says that they don’t see themselves living past a certain age, or acting surprised that they made it to a certain milestone in their lives .” – @nickgio19

When someone has obviously been crying or tears up without apparent provocation, even in a very public setting, it can be a sign that they're in too much pain even to try masking it. I've also heard of severely depressed people who abruptly 'snap out of it,' and go perky, and that can be indicative of a person who was agonizing over whether to end things, who has now decided to do so. Making that decision, sadly, gives them peace and relief. ” – @FlourChild1026

Giving a lot of personal possessions away without wanting anything in return. ” – [deleted]


If you or someone you know are having thoughts of suicide or require mental health support, call or text 988 to talk to a trained counselor at the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or visit 988lifeline.org to connect with a counselor and chat in real time. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress as well as prevention and crisis resources for healthcare professionals.

True

Making new friends as an adult is challenging. While people crave meaningful IRL connections, it can be hard to know where to find them. But thanks to one Facebook Group, meeting your new best friends is easier than ever.

Founded in 2018, NYC Brunch Squad brings together hundreds of people who come as strangers and leave as friends through its in-person events.

“Witnessing the transformative impact our community has on the lives of our members is truly remarkable. We provide the essential support and connections needed to thrive amid the city's chaos,” shares Liza Rubin, the group’s founder.

Despite its name, the group doesn’t just do brunch. They also have book clubs, seasonal parties, and picnics, among other activities.

NYC Brunch Squad curates up to 10 monthly events tailored to the specific interests of its members. Liza handles all the details, taking into account different budgets and event sizes – all people have to do is show up.

“We have members who met at our events and became friends and went on to embark on international journeys to celebrate birthdays together. We have had members get married with bridesmaids by their sides who were women they first connected with at our events. We’ve had members decide to live together and become roommates,” Liza says.

Members also bond over their passion for giving back to their community. The group has hosted many impact-driven events, including a “Picnic with Purpose” to create self-care packages for homeless shelters and recently participated in the #SquadSpreadsJoy challenge. Each day, the 100 members participating receive random acts of kindness to complete. They can also share their stories on the group page to earn extra points. The member with the most points at the end wins a free seat at the group's Friendsgiving event.

Keep Reading Show less
via UNSW

Dr. Daniel Mansfield and his team at the University of New South Wales in Australia have just made an incredible discovery. While studying a 3,700-year-old tablet from the ancient civilization of Babylon, they found evidence that the Babylonians were doing something astounding: trigonometry!

Most historians have credited the Greeks with creating the study of triangles' sides and angles, but this tablet presents indisputable evidence that the Babylonians were using the technique 1,500 years before the Greeks ever were.

Keep Reading Show less
Image from Wikimedia Commons .

Van Gogh’s Starry Night.



Van Gough never got to enjoy his own historic success as an artist ( even though we've been able to imagine what that moment might have looked like). But it turns out that those of us who have appreciated his work have been missing out on some critical details for more than 100 years.

I'm not easily impressed, OK?

I know Van Gogh was a genius. If the point of this were "Van Gogh was a mad genius," I would not be sharing this with you.
Keep Reading Show less

Christine Kesteloo has one big problem living on a cruise ship.

A lot of folks would love to trade lives with Christine Kesteloo . Her husband is the Chief Engineer on a cruise ship, so she gets to live on the boat pretty much for free as the “wife on board.” For Christine, life is a lot like living on a permanent vacation.

“I live on a cruise ship for half the year with my husband, and it's often as glamorous as it sounds,” she told Insider. “After all, I don't cook, clean, make my bed, do laundry or pay for food.“

Living an all-inclusive lifestyle seems like paradise, but it has some drawbacks. Having access to all-you-can-eat food all day long can really have an effect on one’s waistline. Kesteloo admits that living on a cruise ship takes a lot of self-discipline because the temptation is always right under her nose.

Keep Reading Show less
Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

Women do better when they have female friends.

Madeleine Albright once said , "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." It turns out that might actually be a hell on Earth, because women just do better when they have other women to rely on, and there's research that backs it up.

A study published in the Harvard Business Review found that women who have a strong circle of friends are more likely to get executive positions with higher pay. "Women who were in the top quartile of centrality and had a female-dominated inner circle of 1-3 women landed leadership positions that were 2.5 times higher in authority and pay than those of their female peers lacking this combination," Brian Uzzi writes in the Harvard Business Review .

Part of the reason why women with strong women backing them up are more successful is because they can turn to their tribe for advice. Women have to face different challenges than men, such as unconscious bias, and being able to turn to other women who have had similar experiences can help you navigate a difficult situation. It's like having a road map for your goals.

Keep Reading Show less

Millennials are now old enough to seriously reflect on life.

It seems like only yesterday a millennial was a college kid that baby boomers chided for being entitled and Gen Xers thought were way too sincere and needed to learn how to take a joke. Today, the oldest millennials, those born around 1980, have hit their 40s and have lived long enough to have some serious regrets.

They also have enough experience to take some pride in decisions that, in hindsight, were the right moves.

The good news is that at 40 there is still plenty of time to learn from our successes and failures to set ourselves up for a great second half of life. These lessons are also valuable to the Gen Zers coming up who can avoid the pitfalls of the older generation.

A Reddit user who has since deleted their profile asked millennials nearing 40 “what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?” and they received more than 2,200 responses. The biggest regrets these millennials have are being flippant about their health and not saving enough money when they were younger.

Keep Reading Show less

A woman giving a stern warning.

Over the past few years, women named Karen have taken a lot of heat in the media. The term "Karen" has been used to describe a specific type of entitled, privileged and often middle-aged white woman. Typically, "Karen” is depicted as demanding, self-important and constantly seeking to escalate minor inconveniences to authority figures, like demanding to "speak to the manager."

Identifying the folks who create unnecessary drama in our world is important. But calling them a “Karen” isn’t the best way to solve the problem. There are many reasons to have an issue with the “Karen” stereotype. First, it’s terrible for people named Karen, and it’s also a connotation that many feel is racist , sexist and ageist.

Further, according to a new study by Trustpilot , the stereotype isn’t accurate. A recent survey by the online media site found that the people who leave the most one-star reviews aren’t female, and the women who do it the most aren’t named Karen.

Keep Reading Show less