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Video of a man ignoring cues that a woman is uncomfortable is a masterclass in what not to do

women, men, communication

A customer totally ignored this young woman's signals that she wasn't interested.

Ask a random woman if a man has ever made her question her safety just by talking to her, and chances are you're going to hear an immediate yes. Not all interactions with strangers lead to discomfort, of course, and sometimes it just comes down to basic gut instinct. There are also varying levels of discomfort when men talk to you as a woman, from "Oof, this is awkward" to "I feel creeped out right now" to "I wonder if this guy is a serial killer."

When a man starts talking to us in a way that makes us uncomfortable, we generally make it known in some way. Most of us won't come out and say, "Back off, dude," unless the behavior becomes super egregious, because 1) it may not be in our personality to be blunt, 2) we expect that the guy will take the hint eventually or 3) we sense that confronting the man would make us even more unsafe than we already feel.

More often than not, we make our discomfort clear in our body language and the way we respond to questions. Long story short, if we don't show we're interested, we're not interested.


A viral video from TikTok News shows an interaction between a 19-year-old woman selling stickers at a retail shop and a man who kept asking her questions about herself. It's a masterclass in what not to do as a guy and a perfect example of what signs to look for to determine that a woman isn't picking up what you're laying down.

Watch the interaction:

So first of all, after the first few questions about her age and where she goes to school, the guy should have gotten the clue that she was not interested in conversing with him further. Her answers were short and to the point. She didn't offer any additional details, nor did she reciprocate with questions about him. If a woman is interested after you strike up a conversation, she will not answer your questions this way.

She didn't add what she's studying or whether she likes school. She didn't ask, "How old are you? Do you go to school?" She shows no interest whatsoever in keeping the conversation going.

Second of all, her body language is a clear indicator. She's not smiling warmly. She's not leaning casually over the counter toward him. She doesn't go over to him when he asks for help. She stands still, fidgets sometimes and only moves when she needs to in order to do her job.

This is the body language of a woman who is uncomfortable. Not "just shy." Not "playing hard to get." Uninterested and uncomfortable, clearly.

Why wouldn't she just refuse to answer his questions, or be direct and tell him to leave her alone? For one, she's working. He's her customer. There's a certain level of courtesy and friendliness that is customary and expected from an employee working with the public. And it's not always easy to gauge exactly when it crosses the line into inappropriate-enough-to-say-something. While this guy's behavior got creepier and creepier as he ignored her cues that she wasn't interested, nothing he said was clearly problematic.

That's part of what is so frustrating about interactions like this. It's not like the guy is being gross or saying anything over the top. It's the relentlessness that's the issue. Question after question about her life. Some might say he was trying to be friendly or "just making conversation." No, he wasn't. Conversation is a two-way street. It's not a man peppering a woman with personal questions continually as she gives one-word answers and clearly doesn't want to keep talking.

Is it possible that he just isn't good at reading social cues? Sure. Is it possible that he thought he was flirting and that she would feel flattered by it? Sure. Is she still uncomfortable? Yes. Is his refusal to give up still creepy and inappropriate? Yes.

I'd venture a guess that nearly every woman out there has been in this young woman's shoes, unsure of whether our safety is at risk. It's easy to say, "Oh, come on. He was just talking." But this is a man who doesn't seem to respect boundaries in conversation—why would she expect him to respect boundaries in any other way?

Women constantly have to calculate whether men who make us uncomfortable are just awkward or if they are a threat, and it sucks. Just as we have to look for signs of potential danger, we certainly should be able to expect men to look for signs that we're not interested.

And if the man actually did notice her signals and purposely ignored them, then she was right to be wary. Being friendly is one thing. This is entirely another.

Can you grow vegetables in a cardboard box?

In the era of supermarkets and wholesale clubs, growing your own food isn't a necessity for most Americans. But that doesn't mean it's not a good idea to try.

A household garden can be a great way to reduce your grocery bill and increase your intake of nutrient-dense foods. It can also be a good source of exercise and a hobby that gets you outside in the sunshine and fresh air more often. However, not everyone has a yard where they can grow a garden or much outdoor space at all where they live. You can plant things in containers, but that requires some upfront investment in planters.

container garden, growing plants in containers, growing vegetables, homegrown, producePotted plants and herbs can thrive in a container garden.Photo credit: Canva

Or does it? Gardener James Prigioni set out to see if an Amazon shipping box would hold up as a planter for potatoes. He took a basic single-walled Amazon box, lined it with dried leaves to help with moisture retention, added four to five inches of soil (his own homegrown soil he makes), added three dark red seed potatoes, covered them with more soil, added a fertilizer, then watered them.

He also planted a second, smaller Amazon box with two white seed potatoes, following the same steps.

Two weeks later, he had potato plants growing out of the soil. Ten days after that, the boxes were filled with lush plants.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Prigioni explained how to "hill" potato plants when they grow tall enough, which helps encourage more tuber growth and protect the growing potatoes from sunlight. Hilling also helps support the plants as they grow taller so they don't flop over. He also added some mulch to help keep the plants cooler as the summer grew hotter.

After hilling, Prigioni only needed to keep up with watering. Both varieties of potatoes flowered, which let him know the tubers were forming. The red potato leaves developed some pest issues, but not bad enough to need intervention, while the white potato plants were unaffected. "It goes to show how variety selection can make a big difference in the garden," he explained.

The visible plants have to start dying before you harvest potatoes, and Prigioni checked in with the boxes themselves when they got to that point.

vegetable garden, growing potatoes, grow potatoes in a cardboard box, Amazon box, farmingFreshly harvested potatoes are so satisfying.Photo credit: Canva

"I am pleasantly surprised with how well the boxes held up," he said, especially for being single-walled boxes. The smaller box was completely intact, while the larger box had begun to split in one corner but not enough to affect the plants' growth. "This thing was completely free to grow in, so you can't beat that," he pointed out.

Prigioni predicted that the red potatoes grown in the larger box would be more productive. As he cut open the box and pulled potatoes from the larger box, they just kept coming, ultimately yielding several dozen potatoes of various sizes. The smaller box did have a smaller yield, but still impressive just from two potatoes planted in an Amazon box.

People often think they don't have room to grow their own food, which is why Prigioni put these potato boxes on his patio. "A lot of people have an area like this," he said.

"I will never look at cardboard boxes the same," Prigioni added. "There are so many uses for them in the garden and it's just a great free resource we have around, especially if you're ordering stuff from Amazon all the time."

cardboard box, container garden, amazon box, growing vegetables, gardeningDo you see a box or do you see a planter?Photo credit: Canva

People loved watching Prigioni's experiment and shared their own joy—and success—in growing potatoes in a similar fashion:

"I have been growing potatoes in every box I can find for several years now. I have had excellent success. I honestly think potatoes prefer cardboard. And yes, most of my boxes were from Amazon."

"I live in an upstairs apartment with a little deck and I have a container garden with containers on every single stair leading to the deck. I grow potatoes in a laundry basket. It's amazing how much food I can get from this type of garden!! Grateful."

"I literally got up and grabbed the empty boxes by our front door, the potatoes that have started to sprout, and soil i had inside and started my planting at 1am. Lol. I will take them outside today and finish. Thank you James!"

"I grew potatoes and tomatoes on my tiny balcony in Germany (in buckets and cardboard boxes). Now I have a big garden here in America. I so love to grow my own food."

"I grew sweet potatoes in cardboard boxes. It’s so much fun."

Next time you're stuck with an Amazon box that you don't have a use for, consider whether you could use it as a planter for potatoes or some other edible harvest. Gardening doesn't have to be fancy to be effective.

You can find more of gardening experiments on The Gardening Channel with James Prigioni.

The mood ring is a cautionary tale.

Every child in elementary school is familiar with the mood ring. With its inscrutable, color-changing stone and cryptic ability to "read" the wearer's emotions, the mood ring has stood as an enigmatic symbol of self-expression since the 1970s.

Yet, ask the average American about what they know about the mood ring, and they might shrug and say that they're a fun piece of jewelry that shifts with the user's emotions. Or, a more astute person might propose that there is some element of body heat technology at play. However, almost no one knows how it all began or the story behind the fight for custody of the mood ring.


Hand, mood ring, emotions, history. Where did the mood ring come from? Photo by No Revisions on Unsplash


Origins

The idea originated with an American jeweler named Marvin Wenick, who first conceived of the idea after coming across a magazine article in 1974 about the liquid crystal elements found in thermometers. Fascinated, he quickly developed a compound that changed color between two distinct ranges: black to green and blue to green, within a temperature range of 89.6°F to 100.4°F.

By 1975, he had found a way to use this "magic" compound in necklace pendants and rings. A natural salesman, he claimed that the shifting colors indicated the "warmth of the wearer's character." However, Wenick never patented his invention, resulting in one of the most dramatic oversights in fashion history.


Star Trek, disappointed, missed opportunity, dangIf only Wenick had patented the mood ring...Giphy

Potential customers weren't the only ones who took notice of Wernick's invention. Soon, two New York inventors, Joshua Reynolds and Maris Ambats, began producing their version of the temperature-sensitive jewelry, based on Wenick's "magical compound."

There was a distinction: Reynolds and Ambats told customers that they had created a "real biofeedback tool" that allowed the wearer to learn information about their bodies, positioning their rings as devices to help people meditate and control anxiety. (Which seems eerily similar to a few of today's developments...)

Now inextricably linked with the self-exploration and individualism of the 1970s, sometimes referred to as the "Me Decade," Reynolds and Ambats' "mood rings" became a major fad in the United States.


How mood rings work

Mood rings contain a thermochromic element, which is a crystal encased in quartz or glass that changes its color based on the wearer's body temperature. These specialized crystals are designed to react to changes in temperature, which alter their molecular structure and, consequently, the wavelengths of light (colors) they reflect. Psychologically, the idea is that one's emotional state influences body temperature, so when it changes, its meaning will be reflected in the ring. Today, the spectrum of color has expanded far beyond Wenick's simple black, green, and blue system.

When the mood ring rests at a neutral body temperature (typically around 98.6°F), the crystals will reflect a pretty blue-green hue. According to HowStuffWorks.com, the following colors are associated with these emotions, although they can vary from one mood ring to another.


Crystal, mood ring, science, colors, spinningCrystals encased in quartz or glass change color according to body temperature. Giphy


  • Black: Significant levels of stress, tension, or anxiety. There is a deep well of emotional turmoil here, bubbling just under the surface. (This could also indicate that the crystals have been compromised.)
  • White: A lack of emotional clarity. This color can signify that the wearer is uncertain about how to express or process their current feelings, and is often associated with feelings of frustration, confusion, or a lack of emotional clarity.
  • Amber or Gold: "The appearance of an amber or gold-colored mood ring often signifies a blend of emotions, potentially encompassing a mix of feelings such as surprise, nervousness, or even a touch of upset. This color can be a reflection of the wearer's internal turmoil as they navigate a complex emotional landscape."
  • Pink: "The appearance of a pink mood ring is often linked to the initial stages of arousal, interest, or a sense of emotional uncertainty. This color can suggest that the wearer is experiencing a heightened state of emotional vulnerability or a newfound sense of attraction or curiosity."
  • Red: "The presence of a red mood ring is typically associated with high-energy emotions, such as passion, anger, or even fear. This intense color can be a reflection of the wearer's heightened state of arousal, whether it be in the context of romantic love, intense frustration, or a surge of adrenaline."
  • Blue: "The presence of a blue mood ring is often interpreted as a sign of happiness, joy, and a generally positive emotional state. This color can suggest that the wearer is feeling upbeat, sociable, and in a state of emotional equilibrium."
  • Purple: "A purple mood ring is frequently associated with a sense of clarity, purpose, and spiritual insight. This color can signify that the wearer is in touch with their higher self, tapping into their intuition and creativity to navigate their emotional landscape with a renewed sense of direction and understanding."

Debunked

So, some unfortunate bad news. Mood rings are not scientifically factual. Why? Let's debunk.

First off, mood rings measure temperature, not emotion. While emotions can influence body temperature, the ring's color shifts are more likely to be affected by other factors, such as environmental temperature, physical activity, health conditions, and caffeine intake. Also, the color guide (above) is fun but completely arbitrary. There have never been any scientific studies on whether the corresponding colors have anything to do with their associated internal emotions.


Bill Nye, science Unfortunately, mood rings are not backed by the power of science. Giphy


The end of the story

Back to the "one of the most dramatic oversights in fashion history." The mood ring is a cautionary tale. When mood rings hit the market in 1975, the public went wild, with Joshua Reynolds and Maris Ambats selling an astonishing 40 million rings in just three months. They had the ingenious idea to start selling the rings at a premium, with silver-banded versions priced at $45 and gold-banded versions costing $250 ($1,400 today). By the end of the year, their total sales had reached $15 million.

Yes, the original creator, Marvin Wenick, was mad, but Reynolds and Ambats were even more upset in the end. They also had failed to patent the mood ring, the very fatal error that had allowed them to steal the creation in the first place. By the onset of 1976, just as sales were peaking, the market became oversaturated with cheap knock-offs and demanded plummeted, leaving companies with stockhouses full of unsold inventory. What goes around comes back around. Perhaps they should have consulted their mood ring first?

via Rob Dance (used with permission).

CEO Rob Dance holds a list of things he's "sick" of hearing from his employees.

Since the COVID-19 pandemic disrupted workplaces worldwide, there has been a greater push for improved work-life balance and many companies are taking notice. The exciting thing is that when companies become more flexible, their employees become happier and more productive. It’s a win-win for all involved.

Rob Dance, the CEO of ROCK, a technology consulting company in the UK, recently went viral for posting about his approach to work-life balance on Instagram. What, at first, appeared to be a CEO reprimanding his employees revealed a boss who knows how to get the best out of his team by treating them like adults.

The post was of Dance holding a whiteboard that reads:

Things I’m sick of hearing from my employees:

- Can I leave early today

- I’ll be late in the morning

- My child is sick, can I rush off

- I’ve got a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, is that okay

- I’m going to be late back from lunch, I’ve got some things to sort.

I don’t care.

I hired you for a job and I fully TRUST you to get it done.

I don’t need you to account for every single hour.

Times have changed, and the workplace is different these days.

People are sick of being treated like children.

All that should matter is that everyone is happy, and that the work gets done.


He also shared his advice for companies on how to treat their employees. “Treat your staff like adults. That’s it, that’s the big secret,” he wrote. “Give them autonomy. Respect that they have lives outside of work. Don’t gaslight them into being grateful for not being fired every day.” Because in the end, the only thing that matters is if they get the job done. “Output should always trump hours,” he concluded.

Upworthy contacted Dance, who explained why managers still hesitate to treat their employees like adults.

“Many bosses don't trust their employees and keep extremely close tabs on them because of past experiences and a desire for control. They might believe that micromanaging ensures productivity and prevents issues,” he told Upworthy. “Additionally, the pressure to meet business targets can drive bosses to monitor employees obsessively, thinking it will lead to better outcomes. This approach, however, only undermines trust and destroys morale in the workplace. It creates a toxic environment where employees feel undervalued and stressed, leading to higher turnover rates and decreased overall performance. Instead of fostering a culture of accountability and growth, this behavior only promotes fear and resentment.”


Dance says that technology has helped drive demand for improved work-life balance.

“Mobile technology definitely started to blur the lines between one’s professional and personal life, making it tough to switch off from work,” he told Upworthy. “As a millennial leader, I've always valued work-life harmony for my staff, helping them to achieve both flexibility and finding purpose in their work.”

The ROCK CEO also has advice for employees who’d like to gain their employer’s trust.

“Always deliver quality work and aim to meet or exceed expectations. Keep communication lines open by regularly updating your manager on your progress, challenges, and successes,” he told Upworthy. “Take the initiative to go beyond basic requirements, showing your willingness to contribute more. Act with integrity by always being honest and ethical. Seek honest feedback and make tangible improvements based on it, demonstrating your commitment to growth. Finally, a big one is building positive relationships with everyone you work with, as strong connections are what help to build real trust.”

In April 2025, Dance shared some additional wisdom that highlights the power of leaders prioritizing culture. He took a photo of himself holding a whiteboard with some more wisdom that all CEOs should take to heart: "An employee who leaves for the salary might return for the culture, but if they leave because of the culture, no salary will ever bring them back."

It makes you wonder, if the money was right, which previous jobs would you go back to, and which ones would you reject?


rob dance, work-life balance, ROCK UK, bosess, pto, time off, employee complaintsCEO Rob Dance holds up a whipe board with his culture philosophy. www.linkedin.com


This article originally appeared last year.

A vegan and a man with a sausage and big piece of chicken.

There are few groups more openly reviled by many people in the developed world than vegans. One study found that out of societal groups, they were the second most reviled group, right after drug addicts. Vegans are often the target of derision, whether they are referred to as soy boys, vegaNazis, or people who “eat rabbit food.” But why do people have such a hard time with people just because they don’t eat the same things they do?

It seems somewhat petty and judgmental that people would be easily offended by someone because they don’t eat meat. Still, according to a new study by Food Quality and Preference, there’s something much deeper at stake. “The consumption of meat and meat substitutes is a highly charged social phenomenon,” Roosa-Maaria Malila, an author of the study, said in a statement. “According to our research, consumers who prefer plant-based alternatives are perceived as socially different—and not in a good way.”

spaghetti, vegans, vegetarians, woman eating, young woman, glass of waterA woman enjoying a plate of pasta.via Canva/Photos

Why do people hate vegans?

The team of researchers got to the bottom of why vegans are the target of so much hate after having 3,600 participants judge three shopping lists. All lists included pasta, bread, apple juice, carrots, and bananas, but the selection varied depending on whether animal- or plant-based protein products were included or excluded. One had meat products, another had a mix of meat and plant-based items, and the other list had only meat substitutes.

The researchers found that the shoppers who purchased meat substitutes, who were most likely vegan or vegetarian, aroused feelings of fear, envy, contempt, and anger. "In our research, we found that people even wanted to act aggressively towards vegetarians or exclude them from social circles,” Malila says. However, at the same time, vegans were admired and appreciated. They are seen as moral, environmentally friendly, and conscious.


What is the "meat paradox"?

Social psychologist Hank Rothgerber refers to this unique situation where people simultaneously envy vegans and also find them contemptible as the meat paradox. The “meat paradox” is the experience of cognitive dissonance, or the psychological tension caused by holding conflicting beliefs at the same time, or taking actions that directly contradict one’s values. Rothgerber believes that meat eaters are in the uncomfortable position of knowing that it’s wrong to hurt animals while also consuming them at the same time. This leads people to have feelings of contempt for vegans.

Rothgerber says that to cope with their conflicting emotions, some meat eaters feel the need to lash out at vegans.

“It’s human nature to lash out at anyone we perceive as a threat. And vegans threaten something we hold very dear: our moral sense of self,” Emily Moran Barwick writes for BiteSizeVegan. “We like to think of ourselves as good and decent people. We also believe that good and decent people don’t harm animals.”

strang man, strong vegan, vegetarian man, fruits, vegetables, dietary needsA muscular man with some baskets of vegetables.via Canva/Photos

According to Malila, people’s need to fit in also pushes them against adopting a vegan lifestyle or being supportive of their meat-free friends. "Food is quite a strong part of our social identity,” she says. “If and when vegetarian food evokes negative feelings, not many people want to risk being associated with it. Belonging to a group is an evolutionary motive. We need acceptance from our fellow human beings."

Ultimately, the research shows that veganophobia (fear of vegans) isn’t really about the vegans themselves, but misdirected anger that people are projecting onto them. Maybe it’s time for those who have contempt for vegans to stop judging what’s on their plate and think hard about what’s on their own.

Should you let a dog lick your face?

With nearly half of the households in American having at least one dog, there's a lot people need to know about them. Our furry friends come in wide variety of breeds, each with their own unique traits and needs. "Man's best friend" can be a guardian, a helpful worker, a loyal friend, and a snuggly companion, but there's one thing almost all dogs have in common: Licking.

Some dogs lick way more than others, but it's rare to find a dog who never licks anyone or anything. Many dogs communicate and show affection by licking, which is sweet—if a little gross—depending on how slobbery they are. There's a common saying that dogs' mouths are cleaner than humans', which is a bit hard to believe when you see what some dogs put in their mouths, but it is true? What does science say about dog tongues and saliva? Is a dog licking our face something we should worry about?

dogs, dog mouths clean, dog tongues, dog licking, should you let a dog lick your facePooch smooches are sweet if they're not too slobbery.Photo credit: Canva

It turns out, the answer to whether a dog's mouth is cleaner than ours isn't super straightforward.

An 8th grader named Abby tackled this question in a science experiment that won her a Young Naturalists Award from the American Museum of Natural History in 2011. Her family had gotten a dog and her mom kept telling her not to let the dog lick her face because dog mouths are full of bacteria. Instead of arguing, Abby decided to find out herself if this was true.

"I hypothesized that human tongues would be cleaner than dog tongues," she wrote. "I thought this because humans brush their teeth at least once a day. I hypothesized that dogs' tongues would be dirty because they were always licking dirty things like garbage."

After diving into the research about bacteria that live in and on humans and dogs, Abby decided she had a testable hypothesis. But this wasn't any old middle school science experiment. She applied for and got a grant to the State Hygienic Lab at the University of Iowa, where she was assigned a mentor to work with her.

You can read the nitty gritty details of her experiment here, but here was her conclusion:

dogs, dog mouths clean, dog tongues, dog licking, should you let a dog lick your faceMany dogs will lick you if you give them the chance. Photo credit: Canva

"I concluded that dog and human mouth flora are very different. (Flora means the bacteria found in a mouth or anywhere else.) The bacteria found in human mouths are more similar to another human's oral bacteria than the bacteria found in a dog's mouth.

I also concluded that dogs' mouths are cleaner than humans' in some ways, and dirtier in other ways. Humans have more bacteria in their mouths than dogs do, based on the total number of bacteria. Most of the humans had a 'moderate' number of bacteria, and most of the dogs had 'few' bacteria. A possible explanation of this might be that dogs pant a lot, and maybe while panting, bacteria falls off their tongues along with their saliva. But dogs had more types of bacteria. The average number of different bacterial colonies in a dog's mouth was about 5.7. The average number of different bacterial colonies in a human's mouth was about 4.1. I think this is so because dogs sniff and lick a variety of things, like carpets, floors, chairs, grass, etc., so they pick up bacteria from many places."

But what about the licking of our faces? That's a bit of a subjective call, but Abby's results gave her some peace of mind:

"In conclusion, will I let my dog continue to lick me? The answer to the question is yes!" she wrote. "I will feel guiltless about letting my dog lick me because I found out that human and dog oral bacteria are different, so my dog's oral bacteria present no harm to me."

lick, licking, face, dogs, dogpuppy love kiss GIF by Pickler & BenGiphy

What do the experts say?

According to Colin Harvey, professor at the University of Pennsylvania’s School of Veterinary Medicine and executive secretary at the American Veterinary Dental College, comparing dogs' mouths to humans' mouth is "like comparing apples to oranges." As Abby found, the microbes in a dog's mouth are very different than those in a human's.

The American Kennel Club elaborates:

"Most of the bacteria in your dog’s mouth aren’t zoonotic, which means you probably won’t get a disease from a big old doggy kiss. There are exceptions to this. Dogs that eat a raw diet are at an increased risk of contracting salmonella, which can be spread to humans. You also probably shouldn’t share kisses with a dog that regularly raids the litter box.

In other words, kissing your dog is less risky than kissing another human, but that doesn’t mean that your dog’s mouth is necessarily cleaner than a human’s—they just have a mostly incompatible set of germs."

dogs, dog mouths, dog kisses, dog teeth cleaningKeep your dog's mouth clean with regular teeth brushing.Photo credit: Canva

Keeping your dog's mouth healthy through regular teeth cleaning and dental check-ups can also help prevent issues that could potentially come from dog licks.

So there you have it. If your dog doesn't eat a raw diet and doesn't go snacking in the cat box (or some other equally fecal-bacteria-ridden place), their kisses are probably not going to hurt you. Guilt-free pooch smooches for the win!