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Body Image

People who are 'good at flirting' are sharing the clues that tell if someone likes you

Here are 15 great tips.

Man smiling behind heart hands
via Pexels

Are they flirting with me or just being nice?

Most of the time it’s tough to know if someone is flirting with you because they have to be subtle. They can’t be too obvious because if the feeling isn’t mutual it can be pretty embarrassing. It’s also tough to detect if someone is flirting because most of the time it’s someone you don’t know very well. Do they like me or are they normally friendly?

It hurts to imagine the number of times we’ve all missed signals that someone was interested in us and a potentially wonderful romance never happened. However, studies show that it happens more often than not.

A study on heterosexuals published in Psychology Today found that women were only 18% accurate in recognizing men’s flirting, while 36% of men were accurate about women's flirting. However, we’re really good at knowing when people aren’t flirting with us.

In the same study, women were 83% accurate in seeing friendliness as just friendliness, and men performed about the same at 84% accuracy.

Jeffery Hall, an assistant professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas in Lawrence, says there are five main styles of flirting: physical, traditional, polite, sincere, and playful.

Physical flirting involves “communicating sexual interest” to a potential partner. Traditional flirting is a tactic primarily used by introverts, where men tend to take the lead and women assume a passive role. Polite flirting involves the use of “proper manners” and is a cautious way of showing you like someone.

Sincere flirting involves telling the person you’re interested, and playful flirts like joking around but their efforts rarely turn into substantial relationships.

A Reddit user, who has since deleted their profile, asked a great question on the AskReddit subforum that should be a big help to those who have a hard time spotting flirtation. They asked, "People who are good at flirting, what are some social cues us oblivious people should watch out for?"

A large number of people who responded to the thread gave practical advice on the behaviors that are a giveaway that someone is flirting. The most popular responses are eye contact and laughing at your jokes, even if they aren’t funny.

Here are 15 of our favorite social cues that show someone is interested.

1. The dance of plausible deniability.

"Everyone is giving good advice, but flirting didn't click for me until i heard it described not as a set of behaviors to look out for, but as an escalation of suggestive behaviors couched in plausible deniability.

"Put practically, if someone is doing something to engage you that feels extra (lots of touching, looking at you in a way that feels a bit to long, or doing a lot of poking fun and complimenting you), then that might be flirting or it might not. That's the whole point. Plausible deniability. They can safely disengage at any time.

"If you want to know if someone's flirting, you need to test it. You do that by escalating things, but just a bit, so that now you have plausible deniability (touch them back in a comfortable way, maintain eye contact, or joke-compliment them back). If they escalate back and continue to do so as you escalate in turn, that is flirting. Eventually one of you will break cover and do something with clear intent (a kiss, an approach + ask for a number, or straight up telling them what you think of them and that you're interested). Otherwise, if you escalate and they don't change their behavior or they back off, then they were probably just being friendly and you should take the hint and do the same.

"Dunno if that's something obvious to people, but it was definitely not for me, and college parties would have been way less fun had i not known. Hopefully this can help someone else too :)" – three_furballs

2. Give 'em a chance to be alone.

"If you're in a group of friends (new or old), find a natural opportunity to hang back. Someone who's interested in you will notice and take the opportunity to talk to you in private. Now this isn't full [fool] proof but it'll at least give you the opportunity to feel for any chemistry between you." – Kagamid

3. Conversation should be two-sided.

"Be wary of a one-sided conversation. If your responses are met with mostly "yeps" and "uh huh" and nothing without meat, its probably not going well." – ViciousKnids

4. Ignoring their friend.

"If they look directly at you while talking to their friend it's a good sign." – yassis_bru

5. The reaction shot.

"I read once that if someone looks at you after someone (doesn't have to be you) said something funny and everyone is laughing, they like you. From personal experience, it's true." – luv_sicK

6. Lots of eye contact.

"They make a lot of eye contact. They are interested in what you have to say and ask you lots of questions. They laugh at your jokes, even the lame ones. They initiate physical contact. They try to find space where you can talk more privately (this does not always mean sex but it often means they wish for more quality time with you)." – TheSurfingRaichu

7. Trust then test.

"In my experience, almost everyone can get a sense that someone is into them, but most people second guess themselves until they convince themselves it's nothing. I say trust that sense. It's based off all of these factors that we pick up consciously and subconsciously, and almost always it's not a coincidence.

"When you think someone likes you, you can test that theory in a few ways. A subtle but effective example is inviting them to something you know they can't or don't want to attend. If they express interest in rescheduling or finding some other way to spend time with you, they like you. Otherwise they'll just say no, sorry I can't make it ... Of course, you could also just ask. In my experience anyone worth getting intimate with is mature enough to deal with that question." – MildlyWyld

8. Mirroring.

"Does their body turn toward you or away from you when you talk? Do they mirror your body language?" – Perfect_Draw516

9. They touch you.

"Physical contact. Granted, not everyone flirts the same way but a good sign is if they touch your arm (or the like) or you find them smiling the whole time that you’re talking to them." – Cosmic_Marman

10. Special eye contact.

"When you're in a public space, the direct eye contact (for a beat or two too long) and the look away. One of my go-to moves that always yielded results." – LuLu42

11. Bad jokes.

"Seriously tell a bad joke - look for laughter and smiles that should not be there but are. Then it’s you they are into, definitely not what you said." – YukonBrawler

12. Facial gestures.

"According to Sherlock: licking lips, eyes cast down towards the other persons lips, quirky smile of the lips, dilated eyes. And if the person has long hair, tucking it behind their ear or other fidgety behavior." – fandomfangirl1

13. Mimicking body language.

"In the case of someone who likes you, while interacting, watch for repetitious patterns and mimic their body language. Eventually, if you cross your arms and the person whose attention you are seeking does the same, for example, you can rely on that being a good sign." – flungkle

14. Little adjustment.

"I've noticed that women will do a little adjustment to you, like brushing off a little piece of lint off your lapel or moving a stray hair off your face while talking to you. At least they did back in my rogue days." – robfrankel1

15. Take your shot.

"If you're at a bar and a woman makes eye contact for more than a second without looking away, shoot your shot." – sle7in360

There you have it! If you're picking up any of these signs, it might mean you can go ahead and shoot your shot (respectfully!). Good luck out there!

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Pets

Four guys asked their new neighbor if they could walk her dog. Then the dog wrote back.

"If you ever get bored, we are more than happy to look after him/her."

via Stevieticks / Instagram

A black dog and a note form "the boys from number 23."

If you've lived your whole life with a dog, a home has to feel pretty empty without one. Your heart has to feel like there's something missing as well. When Jack McCrossan, originally from Scotland, moved to Bristol, England with his three friends, they were bummed out to learn that their landlord didn't allow dogs.

So when they saw a beautiful black Sheprador (a German Sheppard Lab mix) in their neighbor's window, they knew that had to become buddies with her. They wrote the dog's owner, Sarah Tolman, a letter asking to arrange a play date with the dog. "If you ever need someone to walk him/her, we will gladly do so," they wrote.

"If you ever get bored (we know you never will, but we can dream), we are more than happy to look after him/her. If you want to come over and bring him/her to brighten our day, you are more than welcome. If you want to walk past our balcony windows so we can see him/her, please do," the letter continued.


"We hope this doesn't come too strong, but our landlord won't allow pets, and we've all grown up with animals. The adult life is a struggle without one," they wrote. "Yours sincerely, The boys from number 23," the letter concluded.

Soon after, the boys in 23 received a response from the dog herself, Stevie Ticks, accepting the offer. However, it may have been written by her human, Sarah Tolman. In the letter, Stevie shares a bit about herself, saying she's two years and four months old, was adopted in Cyprus, and that she's "very friendly and full of beans." (The boys shouldn't worry about a gassy hound, in England, "full of beans" means lively.)


"I love meeting new people and it would be great if we can be friends. I must warn you that the price of my friendship is 5 x ball throws a day and belly scratches whenever I demand them," the letter continued. A few days later, the boys got to meet Stevie. "Meeting Stevie was great!" McCrossan told Buzzfeed. "She was definitely as energetic as described. We got to take her for a walk and she wouldn't stop running!"

black labrador, dogs, dog-walkers, kind nieghbors, stevieticks, bristol, ukA black labrador (representative image).via Canva/Photos

Tolman thought the boys' letter was a fantastic gesture in an era where, quote often, neighbors are strangers. "In a day and age where people don't really know or speak to their neighbors, it was really nice for them to break down that barrier," she said. After the story went viral, she saw it as an opportunity for people to share their love of dogs with the world. "My mother and I are amazed at all the love we've received from around the world these past few days," Tolman wrote as Stevie. "If you have a doggo in your life, share that love with those around you."

A lot has changed in the past 6 years since this story warmed hearts around the globe. The boys have since moved away, but as of September 2024, Stevie is around 8 years old and still doing well. Her keeper and Sarah's partner, Chris Bowley, shared an update on Instagram. "[The boys] sadly moved out of Bristol. However, we have always tried to keep the ethos going of Stevie having as many friends and meetups as possible," Bowley wrote.


This article originally appeared six years ago.

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Wellness

The powerful Polish mindset that conquers challenges with unwavering spirit and resourcefulness

‘Jakoś to będzie’ is a game-changer.

Photo by Bianca Fazacas on Unsplash

Angel statue in Poland

Over the past decade, Scandinavian concepts like ‘hygge’ and ‘lagom’ have dominated wellness and decorating trends. Hygge, a Danish concept without a direct English translation, captures the essence of coziness, warmth, and comfort in one's surroundings—think candles, fireplaces, and strategically placed lamps. Lagom, on the other hand, comes from the Swedes and roughly means “just enough. " This concept preaches finding tranquility in the balance of all things.

Which, you know, is nice. (Who doesn’t want to live in a lovely, snug home and bathe in the warm glow of candlelight?) What idiot would say no to a perfectly balanced life where there’s never too much or too little?

But sometimes, the biggest concern in life isn’t “How can I make this room cozier?” Life comes at you fast. Money arrives, then leaves even quicker. Families disagree, creating generational rifts that seem insurmountable. Governments fail to protect their citizens, exposing them to war, danger, and poverty. What then? Do Europeans have a neat little phrase for that?


white book near mugHygge is nice, certainly Photo by Pavan Trikutam on Unsplash


“Things will work out in the end”

In fact, the answer is yes. Enter 'Jakoś to będzie' (pronounced 'Ya-kosh toe ben-jay'), which literally translates to "Things will work out in the end." This contrasts sharply with the sunny, optimistic advice that often emerges from idyllic nations like Denmark, the Netherlands, and Sweden. “Learning about happiness from the Scandinavians can feel a little like learning about money from a millionaire when you struggle financially,” writes Olga Mecking. “Instead,” she continues, “why not learn from a country that has been through hell and back — multiple times — and is still standing?”


beautiful multicolored buildings Poland is a living testament to the human spirit Photo by Maksym Harbar on Unsplash

Of course, she is referring to Poland, a Central European country that has existed for 500,000 years. As one imagines, there’s a lot of history sandwiched between those 500,000 years, beginning with the Polish state’s establishment during the 10th century. In the 14th century, Poland joined forces with the Grand Duchy of Lithuania, culminating in the formation of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth—one of Europe’s largest and most populous nations. Then, the strife: during the 18th century, the Commonwealth began to decline, eventually leading to the last King of Poland, Stanislaw Augustus, abdicating the throne in 1975. From there, many wars, insurrections, and violent protests were mounted against the country’s forced partitions, upheld by unwelcomed, occupying armies. However, Poland would not see independence again until 1918, when the Allies agreed to the country’s reconstitution in the aftermath of World War I. From there, even more chaos ensued. Devastation reigned during World War II, as much of the country fell into Nazi Germany’s hands, and Poland saw the near-annihilation of its Jewish population during the Holocaust.

Poland stands today not just as a country but as a powerful testament to the strength of the human spirit: despite the traumas that may come, optimism is always available to us. ‘Jakoś to będzie;’ “things will work out in the end.”


The true meaning of ‘jakoś to będzie’

Much like the country it hails from, the concept of ‘jakoś to będzie’ is all about resilience and grit in the face of life’s darkest and most uncertain moments. “It’s the unwavering certainty that we can do anything, no matter what obstacles we face along the way,” says Beata Chomątowska, co-author of “Jakoś to będzie. Szczęście po polsku” (or “Jakoś to będzie, the Polish way of life”). Meanwhile, the BBC describes ‘jakoś to będzie’ as “the perfect philosophy for tough times.”


brown and green concrete building under white sky during daytimeIt's Poland's philosophy for hard times. Photo by Zhi Xuan Hew on Unsplash

In some circles, ‘jakoś to będzie’ is presented as the anti-‘hygge’. While the latter encourages us to retreat into comfort, to adorn ourselves in cozy objects and fuzzy socks, the Polish approach embraces uncertainty head-on. This isn’t the time for hiding under a blanket with hot cocoa; ‘jakoś to będzie’ stresses the importance of acting without overthinking the consequences. It’s a peculiar philosophy that could only emerge from a country that has endured some of the most brutal hardships in history.

So, in an increasingly erratic, unknowable world, it might be wise to borrow a page or two from this Polish school of thought. Whenever a scary, daunting challenge arises—personal crises, difficulties at work, attempts to navigate any number of global problems, etc.—instead of falling into despair, try channeling a bit of this Polish spirit instead. Don’t overthink. Take that risk. Make something happen. ‘Jakoś to będzie’ — somehow, everything will work out. Moving forward is always better than staying still, no matter how frightening. Or, as Polish author Daniel Lis puts it, “[Life] is always a bit of adventure.”

life hacks
Teachers

Florida teacher fired for giving zeros to students who didn't turn in assignments

The lowest grade that teachers are allowed to give students is a 50.

Diane Tirado/Facebook

Left: Teacher Diane Tirado. Right: The note she left for students after being fired.

If you're of the mind that kids today are being coddled and not properly prepared for the real world, well, you might want to buckle up for this one. The story out of a public school in Florida has parents and teachers alike up in arms.

A Florida teacher was fired for giving her students zeros for missing assignments. Diane Tirado has been a teacher for years. Most recently, she was an eighth-grade history teacher at Westgate K-8 School in Port St. Lucie, Florida. Diane recently gave her students two weeks to complete an Explorer notebook project, but several students simply didn't hand it in. Since there was zero work done, Diane gave them zeros.

She got fired for it.

schools, teachers, education, grades, students, parentsMichael Scott from The Office saying "What?"Giphy

The elementary school has a rule called the “no zero policy."

The lowest possible grade that teachers can give students is a 50, even if they don't turn anything in. That means that an extremely poor completed assignment is worth the same number of points as no assignment at all.

Hardly seems fair, right? Westgate is far from the only school that has such a policy, however.

whiteboard, education, classroom, teacher, middle school, 8th grade A message written on the whiteboard for her students after Diane Tirado was firedDiane Tirado/Facebook

It's a rule that Diane, unsurprisingly, does not agree with. After she was fired for disobeying, she left her students a charming goodbye message on the whiteboard.

"Bye kids. Mrs. Tirado loves you and wishes you the best in life. I have been fired for refusing to give you a 50 percent for not handing anything in. Love, Mrs. Tirado"

The scale, as outlined by the school, reads as follows:

A = 90 to 100
B = 80 to 89
C = 70-79
D = 60-69
F = 50-59

Diane later shared the story on Facebook, hoping to spread awareness about the school's policy.

“A grade in Mrs. Tirado's class is earned," she said.

“I'm so upset because we have a nation of kids that are expecting to get paid and live their life just for showing up and it's not real."

Diane's post has gone viral, and most commenters agree with her position – it's not fair to hand out grades for work that doesn't exist.

No zero policies are common in many schools, and teachers notoriouslyhate them. But it's at least worth considering why they exist. Some educators say it's because when a student earns a zero, it's very difficult for them to ever recover their grade in that class. In other words, it may be too harsh. Others argue that, if you don't want a zero, don't turn in nothing! Getting an earned-zero is a great way to learn to at least try.

A follow up statement from the school stated: "Ms. Tirado was released from her duties as an instructor because her performance was deemed sub-standard and her interactions with students, staff, and parents lacked professionalism and created a toxic culture on the school’s campus. ... During her brief time of employment at West Gate, the school fielded numerous student and parent complaints as well as concerns from colleagues. Based on new information shared with school administrators, an investigation of possible physical abuse is underway."

However, school representatives did not deny the existence of the no zero policy, and Tirado claims the school engaged in a smear campaign after she became a "whistleblower" on their policies. She's currently considering legal action against the district.

Still, the debate over the grading policy rages on.

“The reason I took on this fight was because it was ridiculous. Teaching should not be this hard," Diane said.

This article originally appeared 6 years ago.

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Family

Dad surprises wife with epic sushi gondola after she gives birth, and folks are taking notes

"Brother, how can one become your wife?"

@trace.gotsis/Instagram

This probably fed the entire staff too.

Mothers need support from their partners during all stages of pregnancy, but especially while going through postpartum. And while having basic needs met, like doing a fair share of the domestic chores, making sure supplies are replenished, doing night feedings, etc. are vital, a little pampering also goes a long way for making mom feel taken care of and helping to boost her mood.

And what constitutes grade-A pampering? FOOD. Glorious, indulgent food. Especially after nine months of having to abstain from many, many no-no foods and drinks. In this regard, a McDonald's order might taste just as luxurious as a Michelin meal. Hopefully dad/partner knows his lady’s cravings well enough to know which route to take.

One dad (@trace.gotsis on Instagram) certainly understood this assignment to the nth degree, showing up with a literal GONDOLA of fresh sushi that was pretty much an edible work of art. His wife apparently had an epic meal before the baby even got its name.

Watch:

Needless to say, folks were impressed.

“God I see what you’ve done for others 😭”

“Best way to propose to me.”

“What an absolutely epic moment”

“If i ever have a husband and he does this i will marry him again and then 10 more times after that. 😫😫”

That goes for the dudes too.

"Brother, how can one become your wife?"

Many joked that the newborn’s name should be sushi-related.

“You better name that baby Nigiri.”

“Just call him…baby sashimi”

“So did you name it Noah or Sushi? Gotta know.”

Turns out, they would name their little guy Alfie. Which is probably better than a food name in the long run.

Sushi, like soft cheese, alcohol, and caffeine, is off-limits to pregnant women. Sushi in particular can expose a growing baby to mercury, bacteria, and other harmful parasites. That said, Healthline does say that sushi rolls with low mercury cooked fish can be consumed, like spicy crab rolls, spicy shrimp rolls, chicken katsu rolls, or vegan rolls like cucumber avocado rolls and shiitake mushroom rolls. Probably doesn’t hit quite the same, but might satisfy those cravings nonetheless.

sushi, pregnancy, safe pregnancy foods, sushi rolls, new parentsRows of sushi rolls.

And hopefully moms and moms-to-be have partners who know how to show up and anticipate needs during those intense craving moments, and beyond. That, and helping to make sure she can rest and that spaces are clean and comfortable, will help take off some of the load. Even still, those postpartum blues may come, but boy, does it make a difference.

It probably goes without saying that this type of support needn't show up in the form of a huge sushi boat, but hopefully this does offer up some inspo.



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Heroes

Biker spots elderly man with walker struggling with shoe strap, stops to take him home

It turned out to be one of his last acts of kindness.

Photo credit: Canva

Biker stops to push elderly man home after his shoe broke

Twenty-year-old Idris Shehu, known as cold_r6 online, loves riding his red Yamaha motorcycle and recording each ride on a GoPro strapped to his helmet. On one of his rides, Shehu noticed a man sitting on the padded seat of his wheeled walker and seemingly struggling with the straps on his shoe. Shehu was riding on the other side of the street when he saw the man, but instead of passing him by, he did a U-turn to check on the elderly individual.

What ensued is beyond heartwarming. The act of selflessness happened in April 2024 and was one of his last interactions caught on his GoPro before a motorcycle accident claimed his life just several months later. Recently the clip of his kind act was shared on the social media platform Reddit where it has been racking up views.

In the short video you see Shehu pull up next to the man sitting on his walker to see if he needed assistance. The 20-year-old Farmington State College sophomore asks several times if the man is okay but it's unclear if the man responds. That's when the motorcyclist hops off his bike to try to offer assistance. The older gentleman was wearing black sandals with Velcro straps, but one of the straps appears to be undone.

motorcycle, ride, gopro, good deed, cyclistman riding motorcycleGiphy

Shehu asks if he can strap the shoe for the man, then tries several times to get it to stick before telling the unnamed man, "I think your Velcro's ruined." It was then that the man says he just wants to get home. Clearly the elderly man was unable to walk or scoot the rest of the way home with his broken strap. The man tells Shehu that he lives around the corner and that's when the kind motorcyclist asks if he wants to be pushed, and push him he did.

As the college student pushes the elderly man home, the man asks him about his motorcycle before admitting he once had a Honda 450. The two talked bikes as they maneuvered over bumps and even got strange looks as one person stopped to see if they were all right. Shehu had never removed his helmet so from the outside people could only see a guy in full motorcycle gear pushing an elderly gentleman down the sidewalk. It was likely a sight to see, but eventually they made it back to the man's apartment where they were promptly greeted by a cat.

it's really the small things that matter
byu/techitachi inMadeMeSmile

Shehu was so gentle and kind with the man, it's no wonder that not only did he warm hearts with this interaction, but followers of his accounts flocked to his page to leave well wishes after his final journey.

"The most excellent content. I’m going to sign off the internet for a while after this post so nothing undermines how much I’m smiling right now. Just want to ride the happy wave of seeing human empathy and compassion shine. The 'oh look at the cat!' at the end sent me into another stratosphere," one person writes.

"Imagine how great America could really be if everyone has this level of empathy and compassion. It's people like this guy who restore my faith in humanity," another shares.

motorcycle, motorcyclist, helmet, bike, peopleGoing for a rideGiphy

On the biker's video posted to his own social media page, people share heartfelt messages:

"Rest in peace honey you are a great loss to this world but at least now you can ride forever without knowing anymore pain!!! Ride fast, ride easy, ride high."

Another shared, "This is the first video I saw of you and it's the one I'll remember for life, hold on tight up there."

It's unfortunate such a kind soul was taken so soon but what a sweet memory he leaves behind, not only for the man he helped but for his family, friends, and followers. May people learn from his selfless act of kindness and be inspired to do the same.

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