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Pink and Drew Barrymore get refreshingly real in intimate conversation about motherhood

"I have tremendous fears of my kids ever going through anything like what I went through."

Pink, Drew Barrymore, motherhood

The Drew Barrymore Show/YouTube

Pink sat down with Drew Barrymore to talk motherhood.

No matter where you're from, how much money you have or how famous you are, when you become a mother your whole world turns upside down. Motherhood can catapult you to the highest highs, drag you through the lowest lows and fling you around corners you never saw coming. It's like the best and worst roller coaster ever.

Throw in dealing with your own childhood issues, and motherhood becomes an even more terrifying thrill ride. A friend recently remarked that raising kids can be simultaneously triggering and therapeutic for people with their own childhood traumas, and it's so true. Just ask Drew Barrymore.

Barrymore, who had a famously tragic childhood and poor parenting models, has talked about how she feels her experiences have given her a strong toolkit for raising her two daughters, and how healing motherhood has been for her. But the fear of messing up our kids is real for all moms, and Barrymore shared some of those worries with Pink on her talk show.

Sitting face to face on the sofa, Pink and Barrymore shared an intimate conversation about motherhood that was refreshingly real and relatable. Barrymore's daughters are 8 and 10 years old and Pink's kids are 11 and 6, so they are both right in the middle of their mothering journeys, the stage when parenting becomes more emotionally demanding than physically demanding.

The conversation opens with Barrymore asking Pink, "What can I tell myself when I'm afraid my kids will do some of the stuff I did?" which leads to laughter, some wise advice and Pink admitting she carries a tote bag that says "I literally have no idea what I'm doing" to preschool drop-off.

Definitely worth a watch:

"Omg- being the mom of two single digits kids- these two women moved me. I wish I had friends like this to have deep, real conversations with," wrote one commenter.

"As someone who has idolized Pink since I was about 14, I hang on to her every word, and that last part brought me to tears. I felt the exact same way when my daughter was born. A beautiful little girl, unscathed by the world. Wow," wrote another.

"None of us knows what we're doing and it's tragic and beautiful all at the same time," wrote another. Amen to that.

Every mom needs this kind of heartfelt honesty in her life. Thanks for giving us a glimpse of what that can look like, Drew and Pink.

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New study shows spanking hurts kids' mental health and is less effective at teaching lessons

Why is it wrong to hit an adult or an animal but OK to spank a child?

Photo by Kat J on Unsplash

Yet another study shows that spanking isn't good for kids.

Whether to spank your child or not is one of the oldest debates among parents. Many live by the age-old wisdom that to “spare the rod” is to “spoil the child,” while others believe it’s wrong to resort to violence to punish a child when so many alternatives exist.

It also begs the question: If it's wrong to hit your spouse or pet, why is it acceptable to hit a defenseless child?

The 2021 American Family Study found that support for spanking has declined in the U.S. over the past few years. In 2015, 54% either somewhat or strongly agreed with the practice, but that number dropped to 47% in 2021. Thirty-five percent of respondents disagree with the practice and 18% neither agree nor disagree.

A new research study from the Parent and Family Research Alliance in Australia led by Professor Sophie Havighurst and Professor Daryl Higgins from Australian Catholic University makes a strong case that people should stop using corporal punishment to discipline their kids. The study “Corporal punishment of children in Australia: The evidence-based case for legislative reform” analyzed countless studies on the topic and found spanking ineffective and harmful.

The study was published to urge lawmakers to make corporal punishment in Australia illegal. Sixty-five states across the world have made corporal punishment illegal, protecting 14% of the world’s children.

The study defined corporal punishment of children as using physical force to cause pain, but not injury, to correct or control a child’s behavior.

The most startling meta-analysis published in the study found that "only 1 out of 111 statistically significant effect sizes was associated with a link between 'spanking' and a positive child outcome," while 110 were found to be associated with adverse outcomes.

The one positive outcome was in a 1972 study of children of the U.S. military living in West Germany that found those spanked showed less amphetamine and opiate use as adults.

However, the remaining 110 significant results found that spanking had adverse effects, including: “reducing trust and connection with those they are closest to, lower self-esteem, more internalizing and externalizing behavior problems including aggression, mental health difficulties, and increased risk for later substance abuse, antisocial behavior, and violence.”

A meta-analysis found that when children are spanked, they are less likely to internalize the moral implications of the behaviors that led them to be disciplined. It also found that non-physical discipline was more effective at teaching “alternative behaviors,” “developing a child’s conscience,” and advancing their “emotional development.”

\u201cTo support ending corporal punishment in Australia, where it is still legal for parents to hit children, sign this petition to help change legislation so that we can join 65 other countries that have already taken this step to protect chn from harm \u2b07\ufe0f\u2b07\ufe0f\u2b07\ufe0f\nhttps://t.co/2whNouk3eq\u201d
— Parenting and Family Research Alliance (@Parenting and Family Research Alliance) 1682897165

Another meta-analysis cited in the story found that corporal punishment in childhood was associated with mental health problems, low self-esteem and antisocial behavior.

In the end, the studies show that corporal punishment is counter-productive when it comes to raising healthy, happy children. But it will take much more than a study to get people to reconsider their views of corporal punishment because they are deeply rooted in many cultural traditions.

Looking for some non-physical alternatives to discipline your child? Here’s a great place to start from WebMD.

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