Long term birth control is something than many people look into when they know they’re either done having children or have no plans to have children for several years. There are different forms of long term birth control that people can get. The choices range from one month long protection in the form of a patch or cervical ring to things that last anywhere from three to ten years with options like the arm implant or one of the many IUD choices.
In the middle of all of those options are the Depo-Provera birth control injection. This form of birth control is injected via syringe at your gynecologist’s office, local health department or Planned Parenthood and protects you from pregnancy for three months. Every birth control user has their own reasoning for the type of birth control they use and the “depo shot” is fairly popular. It could be due to not having to remember a pill every day while also having a fairly short end date should someone choose to have a baby.
Recently the popular birth control has been under scrutiny after it was revealed that lawsuits had been filed due to a link between the birth control and a 450% increase in a specific type of brain cancer. This seemingly scary development has caused some of its users to panic with fear they could be exposing themselves to getting brain cancer. For some people, Depo-Provera is the only type of birth control they have found that works well with their personal chemical make up which has some people feeling like they’re now out of options.
It was this panic that led people to Dr. Jennifer Lincoln’s inbox. Lincoln is a board certified OBGYN who shares her medical knowledge on social media for people to reference and get accurate answers to medical questions related to those with female anatomy. Lincoln noticed an influx of people asking about the significant increased risk in developing brain tumors for those using the depo shot as their birth control option.
In a recent video posted to social media, the doctor shows a short clip of a video with text overlay reading, “when my birth control is going through a MASSIVE LAWSUIT for giving women brain tumors and I’ve been on it for 4 years and I’m still on it and I JUST FOUND OUT. I can’t do the pill because it’s too much, I can’t do the IUD because it looks too painful.”
Dr. Lincoln starts by sharing that she’s an OBGYN and has gotten a lot of messages about the lawsuit before going into exactly what’s happening and what people should and shouldn’t be concerned about.
“So there’s this study in the British Medical Journal that says using Depo-Provera leads to a 450% increase in a type of brain tumor called meningiomas, and when you Google ‘depo and brain tumors’ this is what you see. It’s almost all completely sponsored posts by lawyers so it seems like it’s really bad right,” she asks.
It’s at this point in the video where the OBGYN breaks down the numbers hoping to ease the minds of concerned people that come across her video. These types of studies can be difficult to read and when it comes to lawsuits, everything sounds scary. There’s currently a generation that grew up hearing commercial about the mesothelioma class action lawsuit and can still recite it even though they were not the target audience. Big lawsuits grab the attention of just about everyone, so Lincoln’s video just may calm the fears of those currently taking depo or those who have previously taken it.
“This is the one thing you need to know, people who are not on Depo-Provera have a 0.01% chance of being diagnosed with a meningioma. If you are on Depo-Provera, it is a 0.05% chance. That is a 450% increase but when you actually look at the actual numbers it’s not that scary and this is why getting your information in context and actually understanding it is really important but lawyers are not going to explain it that way.”
In the end, your risk of getting this particular type of brain tumor goes from 1 in 10,000 to 5 in 10,000 women according to Dr. Lincoln. While that slight increase may give some people pause, for others it may calm their worries about the terrifying sounding increase. Of course any chance of a product causing cancer is too high but with proper education people are at least be able to make a more informed decision before choosing or not choosing this option for their birth control needs.
In a small village in Pwani, a district on Tanzania’s coast, a massive dance party is coming to a close. For the past two hours, locals have paraded through the village streets, singing and beating ngombe drums; now, in a large clearing, a woman named Sheilla motions for everyone to sit facing a large projector screen. A film premiere is about to begin.
It’s an unusual way to kick off a film about gender bias, inequality, early marriage, and other barriers that prevent girls from accessing education in Tanzania. But in Pwani and beyond, local organizations supported by Malala Fund and funded by Pura are finding creative, culturally relevant ways like this one to capture people’s interest.
The film ends and Sheilla, the Communications and Partnership Lead for Media for Development and Advocacy (MEDEA), stands in front of the crowd once again, asking the audience to reflect: What did you think about the film? How did it relate to your own experience? What can we learn?
Sheilla explains that, once the community sees the film, “It brings out conversations within themselves, reflective conversations.” The resonance and immediate action create a ripple effect of change.
MEDEA Screening Audience in Tanzania. Captured by James Roh for Pura
Across Tanzania, gender-based violence often forces adolescent girls out of the classroom. This and other barriers — including child marriage, poverty, conflict, and discrimination — prevent girls from completing their education around the world.
Sheilla and her team are using film and radio programs to address the challenges girls face in their communities. MEDEA’s ultimate goal is to affirm education as a fundamental right for everyone, and to ensure that every member of a community understands how girls’ education contributes to a stronger whole and how to be an ally for their sisters, daughters, granddaughters, friends, nieces, and girlfriends.
Sheilla’s story is one of many that inspired Heart on Fire, a new fragrance from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection that blends the warm, earthy spices of Tanzania with a playful, joyful twist. Here’s how Pura is using scent as a tool to connect the world and inspire action.
A partnership focused on local impact, on a global mission
Pura, a fragrance company that recognizes education as both freedom and a human right, has partnered with Malala Fund since 2022. In order to defend every girl’s right to access and complete 12 years of education, Malala Fund partners with local organizations in countries where the educational barriers are the greatest. They invest in locally-led solutions because they know that those who are closest to the problems are best equipped to solve and build durable solutions, like MEDEA, which works with communities to challenge discrimination against girls and change beliefs about their education.
But local initiatives can thrive and scale more powerfully with global support, which is why Pura is using their own superpower, the power of scent, to connect people around the world with the women and girls in these local communities.
The Pura x Malala Fund Collection incorporates ingredients naturally found in Tanzania, Nigeria, Pakistan, and Brazil: countries where Malala Fund operates to address systemic education barriers. Eight percent of net revenue from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection will be donated to Malala Fund directly, but beyond financial support, the Collection is also a love letter to each unique community, blending notes like lemon, jasmine, cedarwood, and clove to transport people, ignite their senses, and help them draw inspiration and hope from the global movement for girls’ education. Through scent, people can connect to the courage, joy, and tenacity of girls and local leaders, all while uniting in a shared commitment to education: the belief that supporting girls’ rights in one community benefits all of us, everywhere.
You’ve already met Sheilla. Now see how Naiara and Mama Habiba are building unique solutions to ensure every girl can learn freely and dare to dream.
Naiara Leite is reimagining what’s possible in Brazil
Julia with Odara in Brazil. Captured by Luisa Dorr for Pura
In Brazil, where pear trees and coconut plantations cover the Northeastern Coast, girls like ten-year-old Julia experience a different kind of educational barrier than girls in Tanzania. Too often, racial discrimination contributes to high dropout rates among Black, quilombola and Indigenous girls in the country.
“In the logic of Brazilian society, Black people don’t need to study,” says Naiara Leite, Executive Coordinator of Odara, a women-led organization and Malala Fund partner. Bahia, the state where Odara is based, was once one of the largest slave-receiving territories in the Americas, and because of that history, deeply-ingrained, anti-Black prejudice is still widespread. “Our role and the image constructed around us is one of manual labor,” Naiara says.
But education can change that. In 2020, with assistance from a Malala Fund grant, Odara launched its first initiative for improving school completion rates among Black, quilombola, and Indigenous girls: “Ayomidê Odara”. The young girls mentored under the program, including Julia, are known as the Ayomidês. And like the Pura x Malala Fund Collection’s Brazil: Breath of Courage scent, the Ayomidês are fierce, determined, and bursting with energy.
Ayomidês with Odara in Brazil. Captured by Luisa Dorr for Pura
Ayomidês take part in weekly educational sessions where they explore subjects like education and ethnic-racial relations. The girls are encouraged to find their own voices by producing Instagram lives, social media videos, and by participating in public panels. Already, the Ayomidês are rewriting the narrative on what’s possible for Afro-Brazilian girls to achieve. One of the earliest Ayomidês, a young woman named Debora, is now a communications intern. Another former Ayomidê, Francine, works at UNICEF, helping train the next generation of adolescent leaders. And Julia has already set her sights on becoming a math teacher or a model.
“These are generations of Black women who did not have access to a school,” Naiara says. “These are generations of Black women robbed daily of their dreams. And we’re telling them that they could be the generation in their family to write a new story.”
Mama Habiba is reframing the conversation in Nigeria
Centre for Girls' Education, Nigeria. Captured by James Roh for Pura
In Mama Habiba’s home country of Nigeria, the scents of starfruit, ylang ylang and pineapple, all incorporated into the Pura x Malala Collection’s “Nigeria: Hope for Tomorrow,” can be found throughout the vibrant markets. Like these native scents, Mama Habiba says that the Nigerian girls are also bright and passionate, but too often they are forced to leave school long before their potential fully blooms.
“Some of these schools are very far, and there is an issue of quality, too,” Mama Habiba says. “Most parents find out when their children are in school, the girls are not learning. So why allow them to continue?”
When girls drop out of secondary school, marriage is often the alternative. In Nigeria, one in three girls is married before the age of 18. When this happens, girls are unable to fulfill their potential, and their families and communities lose out on the social, health and economic benefits.
Completing secondary school delays marriage, and according to UNESCO, educated girls become women who raise healthier children, lift their families out of poverty and contribute to more peaceful, resilient communities.
Centre for Girls’ Education, Nigeria. Captured by James Roh for Pura
To encourage young girls to stay in school, the Centre for Girls’ Education, a nonprofit in Nigeria founded by Mama Habiba and supported by Malala Fund and Pura, has pioneered an initiative that’s similar to the Ayomidê workshops in Brazil: safe spaces. Here, girls meet regularly to learn literacy, numeracy, and other issues like reproductive health. These safe spaces also provide an opportunity for the girls to role-play and learn to advocate for themselves, develop their self-image, and practice conversations with others about their values, education being one of them. In safe spaces, Mama Habiba says, girls start to understand “who she is, and that she is a girl who has value. She has the right to negotiate with her parents on what she really feels or wants.”
“When girls are educated, they can unlock so many opportunities,” Mama Habiba says. “It will help the economy of the country. It will boost so many opportunities for the country. If they are given the opportunity, I think the sky is not the limit. It is the starting point for every girl.”
From parades, film screenings to safe spaces and educational programs, girls and local leaders are working hard to strengthen the quality, safety and accessibility of education and overcome systemic challenges. They are encouraging courageous behavior and reminding us all that education is freedom.
Experience the Pura x Malala Fund Collection here, and connect with the stories of real girls leading change across the globe.
Our understanding of ADHD has come a long way in just a few short years. Though it wasn’t even formally recognized as a medical condition until the 1960s, by the time the 90s rolled around, diagnoses and stimulant prescriptions were extremely prevalent. (Raise your hand if you grew up in the era of “Anyone who struggles in school gets Ritalin!”) Today, diagnoses and treatment are a lot more thoughtful and individualized, and there are more options for treatment and therapy including but not limited to stimulants like the well-known Ritalin. Even with all these advancements, though, we still have more to learn.
A new long-term study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry has proven to be an excellent next step in getting a better understanding of the disorder, showing that a lot of what’s commonly believed or assumed about ADHD is incomplete or just flat-out wrong.
Researchers studied 483 participants who were diagnosed with ADHD in childhood and continued to assess them for a period of 16 years. The study’s authors wanted to get a sense of how ADHD symptoms might change over time.
What the researchers found surprised them. In most participants, symptoms of ADHD fluctuated greatly over the years rather than staying consistent. What surprised them even more were the environmental factors that seemed to play a role in those fluctuations.
Researchers expected that greater life demands—like more responsibility at work, a heavier workload at school, major life changes, etc.—would exacerbate ADHD symptoms. What they found was the opposite.
It makes sense that a person that struggles with inattention or hyperactivity might have more trouble focusing when they have more “going on” and more distractions to pull them in different directions. It was a huge surprise to the researchers that, actually, people’s ADHD symptoms seemed to ease up when life got hectic.
“We expected the relationship between environmental demands and ADHD symptoms to be the opposite of what we found,” study author, professor, and clinical psychologist Margaret H. Sibley explained. “We hypothesized that when life demands and responsibilities increased, this might exacerbate people’s ADHD, making it more severe. In fact, it was the opposite. The higher the demands and responsibilities one was experiencing, the milder their ADHD.”
I have a 4-year-old with ADHD and the findings totally track for me based on what I’ve witnessed in our own life.
We find it’s actually easier to be in perpetual motion sometimes (out running errands, doing activities, visiting friends and family) versus staying put too long. When we’re just relaxing at home, that’s when she tends to start bouncing off the walls! Her ADHD tendencies come out strong in these quiet periods, including what we sometimes playfully refer to as her “hoarding” dozens of coloring sheets or surrounding herself in giant piles of toys, blankets, and stuffed animals; thereby making a huge mess in the house.
Doing nothing or doing very little is not often a restful state for people with ADHD. Typically, people with ADHD experience more background noise than neurotypical brains, so a quiet, seemingly restful environment can sometimes amplify racing thoughts, negative self-talk, and impulsive behavior versus dampening it. You know how kids sometimes act out in school not because they’re not smart, but because the material is actually too easy for them and they’re bored? Something similar is at play in both of these scenarios.
Of course, as always in science, you have to be careful assuming causation from the findings.
It’s important to note that the results of the study don’t definitively prove that being busy causes a decrease in ADHD symptoms.
“This might mean that people with ADHD perform their best in more demanding environments (perhaps environments that have stronger immediate consequences, like needing to put food on the table for a family or pay rent monthly). It also might mean that people with ADHD take more on their plate when their symptoms are relatively at bay,” Sibley says. Either way, the correlation is certainly strong and worthy of more study.
In the meantime, the study’s authors think the results could be viewed in a hopeful light for people just learning to manage their ADHD. “If you’re a doctor talking with a patient who is first getting diagnosed with ADHD, it’s a huge help for that person to hear the message that, ‘You’re going to have good years and not-so-good years, but things can go really well for you if you can get the right factors in place,’” Sibley said. As a parent, I can imagine how reassuring that would have been to hear early on in our own process.
With ADHD diagnoses on the rise, more and more research is being conducted. For example, a recent long-term study out of Sweden was just published linking use of ADHD medication with a reduction in traffic crashes, general injuries, and criminal behavior. That’s a strong argument for continuing to hone in on accurate diagnoses and treatment for people who need it, as it clearly benefits society as a whole when done properly!
We’re learning more and more about what the factors that affect positive ADHD outcomes are, like what might exacerbate symptoms and what types of things can help, and we’re starting to get a clearer picture of how people can manage this challenging disorder.
Most of us are familiar with the sudden rush of relief that comes when a work meeting gets canceled. Even if you’re only getting 60 minutes of your time back, it can feel like a huge chunk of the day is suddenly uncharted territory. That feeling is liberating—a rare moment when your schedule loosens its grip, reminding you that not every second of your time is spoken for.
It turns out there’s a scientific explanation for this wave of euphoria, and it has everything to do with our (very subjective) sense of time.
A Rutgers Universitystudy, published in the Journal of the Association for Consumer Research, found that when people unexpectedly gain free time, they perceive it as longer than time that was already designated as free. The researchers call this phenomenon “windfall time.”
“An hour gained feels longer than 60 minutes, and that deviation from expectation creates a unique sense of opportunity,” said Gabriela Tonietto, an associate professor of marketing at the Rutgers Business School and lead author of the study.
Tonietto’s past work has explored various aspects of time management and perception, including “time famine” (the persistent feeling of not having enough time) and the benefits of having nothing to do. Her research often highlights how our relationship with time is shaped less by the clock and more by context, expectation, and emotion.
After conducting seven surveys involving more than 2,300 participants, the team found that windfall time results from the “contrast effect.”
That surprise hour is inherently judged against the initial expectation of having no free time at all, and thus feels perceptually expanded. In other words, a canceled one-hour meeting gives you 60 more free minutes than you expected to have. That mental comparison alone is what makes the time feel richer, fuller, and more valuable.
In terms of productivity, the study also found that people were just as likely to use windfall time for work (often longer tasks) as they were for breaks or personal errands. Tonietto cautioned against employers trying to engineer these surprises, especially at the last minute, as it could backfire and create frustration rather than relief.
Instead, Tonietto suggests that whenever this windfall comes, we should simply “take the gift and make the most of it.”
And really, this discovery hits a little broader than just the workplace.
Parents, for example, might never know a sweeter bliss than the 45 minutes of free time gained when their child takes a nap. A delayed appointment, an early dismissal, or even a plan that falls through can become an unexpected pocket of possibility. That might mean being productive, or doing nothing at all, without guilt.
For example, some people find it helpful to use windfall time to start a task that normally feels too big to begin. Because the time feels more expansive, it can lower the mental barrier to getting started, even if only a small portion gets done. Others might choose something genuinely restorative, like stepping outside, taking a short walk, or simply sitting in silence without distractions.
It can also help to pause before automatically filling the time. Resisting the urge to default to scrolling or busywork, even briefly, allows you to decide what would actually feel good or useful in that moment. Keeping a loose mental list of things you enjoy or have been meaning to do can make these unexpected pockets of time feel even more rewarding.
Perhaps the biggest takeaway is to start seeing more of our time as “windfall time,” so we can make the most of it—or at least appreciate it more. Because sometimes it’s not about having more time, but about recognizing the moments when it unexpectedly appears.
So much about a person’s inner world can be revealed without them having to say a single word. Even the smallest gestures can offer clues to their deeper emotions, coping mechanisms, and how they navigate the world.
For instance, you may have noticed people who keep their eyes on the ground while walking. You might even be one of them yourself. Experts suggest that even this tells a psychological story—but not necessarily the one you might be thinking.
Walking with one’s eyes down is commonly associated with shyness, depression, social anxiety, and low self-esteem. There does appear to be some science to support this.
For example, researchers have found that people experiencing social anxiety are more likely to avert others’ gaze, often looking toward the ground rather than making eye contact. Some studies suggest this behavior may stem from a fear of being judged or negatively evaluated, making eye contact feel uncomfortable or even threatening.
At the same time, psychologists caution against making quick assumptions. Human behavior is rarely driven by a single cause, and the same outward action can reflect very different internal states. In fact, looking down while walking can serve multiple purposes, many of which have little to do with anxiety or emotional distress.
Cultural context, for instance, is another important factor. In some cultures, lowering one’s gaze is considered a sign of respect, humility, or politeness, especially when encountering elders or authority figures. What might be interpreted as insecurity in one setting could actually be a learned social norm in another.
There is also a cognitive explanation. Many people use walking as a time to think, process, or problem-solve. Looking down can reduce visual distractions, allowing the brain to focus more fully on internal thoughts. This kind of inward attention may be especially common among creative thinkers or those working through complex ideas.
Another factor is more practical and straightforward: balance and navigation. Researchers at the University of Rochester found that people instinctively spend more time looking at the ground when it’s uneven in an effort to avoid tripping. This behavior is particularly noticeable in unfamiliar environments or places with obstacles where visual attention shifts downward to maintain stability and prevent falls.
Expanding on this, age can also play a role. Older adults, for example, may be more likely to watch their steps carefully to reduce the risk of injury. Similarly, people recovering from injuries or dealing with mobility challenges might rely more on visual cues from the ground.
Lastly, we live in a smartphone-dominated world. Many, if not most, of us regularly look down at our devices while walking. Over time, this habit can carry over even when a phone is not in hand. The posture becomes automatic, shaped by repetition rather than emotion.
Taken together, these perspectives suggest that a downward gaze is not a one-size-fits-all signal. It can reflect anxiety, yes, but it can also point to cultural norms, deep thought, environmental awareness, or simple habit. Like many aspects of human behavior, its meaning depends heavily on context.
Julian de Medeiros, a philosophy expert who’s popular on TikTok and Substack, has built a reputation for sharing some of the world’s most important philosophical ideas about life, love, ethics, and intelligence. Recently, he shared wisdom from Bertrand Russell on the character trait that highly intelligent people tend to have: they see the world as it really is, not as they want it to be.
Russell, a British philosopher and founding figure of the analytic movement in philosophy, won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1950. His work in logic, epistemology, and mathematics made him one of the most important minds of the 20th century. As they say, it takes one to know one, and if Russell says someone is intelligent, chances are he’s right.
“Here’s how you know that someone is intelligent, and this goes back to the philosopher Bertrand Russell, who wrote, ‘You see the world as it is, not as you would like it to be, is the beginning of all wisdom,’” de Medeiros shared on TikTok.
To put it simply, an intelligent person wants to get things right, while an unintelligent person wants to be right. Smart people look at the facts and form their opinions based on reality. Those who aren’t as bright tend to be more dogmatic, trying to see the world in ways that align with their beliefs.
“What [Russell] meant is that an intelligent person tries to be a realist,” de Medeiros continued. “Like, they try to measure, examine, and test their own belief systems against reality. But an unintelligent person tends to be dogmatic. Like they don’t change their mind when confronted with the facts. In fact, you could show them the evidence, and they would simply double down.”
What is the “backfire effect”?
What de Medeiros is referring to is what’s known as the “backfire effect.” It’s a psychological phenomenon in which, when people are presented with credible facts that challenge their beliefs, they may hold on to those beliefs even more strongly than before.
“Once something is added to your collection of beliefs, you protect it from harm,” author David McRaney wrote in You Are Not So Smart. “You do this instinctively and unconsciously when confronted with attitude-inconsistent information. Just as confirmation bias shields you when you actively seek information, the backfire effect defends you when the information seeks you, when it blindsides you.”
It can sting to change your mind, because it can feel like you’ve invalidated a big part of your sense of self. However, it becomes much easier if you begin to change how you see yourself. Instead of identifying with a specific worldview, you can think of yourself as someone who embraces the truth, no matter how difficult that may be.
“Bertrand Russell believed that true intelligence was when you were open to the possibility that you might be wrong,” de Medeiros said. “When you sought to test your own belief systems and when you had a rational and inquisitive mindset, that is true intelligence. When the facts change, you change.”
James Prigioni makes popular gardening videos on YouTube. In one, he wanted to see if he could grow a whole tomato plant by planting the seeds from a tomato on a McDonald’s burger. He picked up a Deluxe Quarter Pounder with cheese, pulled out a tomato slice, and removed two seeds. After rubbing the seeds on a paper towel to remove the protective coating, which can inhibit sprouting, they were ready to plant.
Trying out different seed-planting methods
But like any good scientist, Prigioni wanted to try a different method for testing McDonald’s tomato seeds. So he pulled a slice of tomato from a second Quarter Pounder and, instead of extracting the seeds, planted the entire slice.
With the help of a heat mat and a grow lamp, both sets of seedlings germinated and sprouted in soil-filled red Solo cups in about a week. After they were fully established, Prigioni separated the plants so they could thrive individually before being planted outside.
He planted one of the plants in the ground outside and another in a 5-gallon bucket. He then showed how he culled the lower leaves as they developed blight and used a tomato cage to support the plants as they produced fruit and grew heavier. He also added extra fertilized soil and mulch to the bucket plant.
After three months, the plants were producing abundant fruit. The bucket plant didn’t perform as well as the in-ground plant, which Prigioni said was due to insufficient watering during very hot days. The bucket plant also ripened faster, likely due to the stress it had been under. Still, it was an impressive harvest, especially for a plant that started on a McDonald’s burger.
The in-ground McDonald’s plant was even more incredible, with dozens of tomatoes dripping from it.
“I expected this tomato to grow,” Prigioni said, “but I did not expect this.”
The fruit from both plants tasted good and sweet, he said. By the fourth month, the in-ground plant was starting to struggle with its health, but not with its fruit production.
“The plant had so many tomatoes on it that it seemed like it was having a little difficulty ripening that much fruit at one time,” Prigioni said. “I mean, I have had some plants with a lot of tomatoes on them, but never in my life have I seen a single tomato plant with this much fruit on it. I was completely blown away.”
How the McDonald’s tomatoes compared
He said one of his favorite parts of the experiment was seeing what kind of tomatoes would grow from the seeds. He thought it might be a beefsteak variety, but it turned out to be a Roma type. However, he surmised that the McDonald’s tomato was likely a hybrid, based on its ripening characteristics.
Prigioni also shared how the McDonald’s tomato plants compared with his other tomato plants.
“In another area of the garden, I grew Roma tomatoes that I got from Lowe’s, and I planted them at the same time as the McDonald’s tomatoes,” he said. “The harvest from them wasn’t quite as large, but the fruit ripened way more evenly, and I was able to harvest a lot more fresh fruit right off the vine that was ripe.”
“Overall, I was shocked with the level of production,” he continued. “And this is probably my favorite experiment that I’ve ever done. I mean, to be able to take a cheeseburger, grab a tomato from it, then grow a tomato plant, and then harvest pounds and pounds of tomatoes from it is just such a unique and refreshing experience.”
Perhaps an unexpected result, but a great way to challenge our assumptions and demonstrate the power of nature, even in the context of fast food.
Some people have quirky hobbies and interests that others might find odd, so when we asked our Upworthy audience on Facebook, “What’s something that you really enjoy that other people can’t seem to understand?” and over 1,700 people weighed in, it wasn’t too surprising. Some people shared things like housework, cleaning and laundry, which a lot of people see as chores. Others shared different puzzles or forms of art they like doing, and still others shared things like long car rides or grocery shopping.
But what was surprising was the one answer that dominated the list of responses. It came in various wordings, but by far the most common answer to the question was “silent solitude.”
A woman relaxes alone on the couch. Photo credit: Canva
Here are a few examples:
“Feeling perfectly content, when I’m all alone.”
“Being home. Alone. In silence.”
“That I enjoy being alone and my soul is at peace in the silence. I don’t need to be around others to feel content, and it takes me days to recharge from being overstimulated after having an eventful day surrounded by others.”
“Enjoying your own company. Being alone isn’t isolating oneself. It’s intentional peace and healthy… especially for deep feelers/thinkers.”
Spending time by ourselves is something some of us relish, while some of us hate being alone. Naturally, this points to the common theory of introversion vs. extraversion, but in some ways, that’s overly simplistic. Even the most peopley people among us can enjoy some quality alone time, and not all introverts see time alone as truly enjoyable. (It might be necessary for an introvert’s well-being, but not necessarily something they truly revel in.)
A man sits quietly by the water. Photo credit: Canva
Interestingly, studies have found that people who enjoy being alone are not any more or less extraverted than those who don’t, though they do tend to be less “sociable.” They are also less likely to be neurotic (tense, moody, worrying types) than the general population and more likely to be open-minded. Those characteristics are the opposite of what social norms often tell us about people who want to be alone.
“If our stereotypes about people who like being alone were true, then we should find that they are neurotic and closed-minded. In fact, just the opposite is true,” writes Bella DePaulo, PhD.
A woman lost in thought with a cup of coffee. Photo credit: Canva
There may be lots of reasons some people like to spend time by themselves while others don’t. We are naturally social creatures and need social interaction, but some of us find ourselves overstimulated by being around other people all the time. On the flip side, some people find being alone not just unenjoyable, but extremely uncomfortable, which can be a problem.
“Ideally, we should be comfortable with ourselves, alone or with others,” writes psychologist Tara Well Ph.D.. “If you are uncomfortable being alone, it means you are uncomfortable being with yourself without distraction, engagement, or affirmation from others. This can be a liability in life. If you cannot be alone, you may stay in situations or make life choices that aren’t good for you in the long run, like staying in a job or a relationship, mainly because you can’t tolerate being alone while transitioning to a better situation.”
An older woman dances alone while listening to headphones. Photo credit: Canva
Dr. Well also points out that people can make the most of their alone time, even if it’s not something they naturally enjoy. One way is to make it purposeful, setting aside a little time daily to write in a journal, meditate, go for a walk or otherwise engage your mind and body in some form of reflection. Another is to pay attention to self-judgments that might make alone time uncomfortable and challenge them with some compassionate confrontation and counteraction with positive thoughts about yourself.
Alone time can be refreshing and rewarding, especially if it’s something you naturally crave. Some people even like to take themselves out on dates or enjoy traveling by themselves. That kind of self-care can be just as important as connecting with others for our overall health and well-being. Being alone doesn’t mean being a loner and it doesn’t mean being lonely. Some of us genuinely like having quality time with ourselves, whether it makes sense to other people or not.
A number of years ago, people started to suspect their phones were listening to them. They’d “magically” see ads on Facebook or news websites for products they had barely mentioned in passing. Because our phones are always listening for “wake words” (like “OK Google” or “Hey Siri”), it was natural to grow suspicious that they were monitoring conversations and auctioning off that data to advertisers.
The truth is, your phone is not always listening and scanning your conversations for ad triggers. However, countless people have reported seeing ads for things they’ve merely thought about.
The reason this predictive advertising happens is fascinating, a little scary, and just a tad reassuring.
“I can’t be the only one noticing this”
Aakash Gupta writes about AI, tech, product growth, and more. He recently took on the challenge of explaining this freaky concept to a concerned Internet citizen.
“I get how the phone can target ads by hearing and seeing me, but how is it showing me ads based on my thoughts? I can’t be the only one noticing this,” an X user wrote.
Here’s Gupta’s explanation: It starts with a real-time auction every time you open an app or website that serves ads.
“Every time you open a website or app, a real-time bidding auction fires in under 100 milliseconds,” Gupta wrote on X. “Your GPS coordinates, browsing history, device fingerprint, age, gender, income bracket, and hundreds of inferred interest categories get packaged into a ‘bid request’ and broadcast to hundreds of companies simultaneously. One company wins the ad slot. All of them keep the data.”
Some estimates put the number of ads the average person sees in a given day between 4,000 and 10,000. In fact, most are almost invisible to us now. That’s why ad companies have to make them hyper-targeted.
Gupta explained that your data isn’t only collected when you use a website. Some apps on your phone may pull your location data thousands of times per day, creating a detailed map of pretty much everywhere you go.
So how does that lead to “telepathic” advertising? By figuring out what people who are almost exactly like you are interested in buying.
“The algorithm doesn’t hear your thoughts. It compares your behavioral fingerprint against millions of similar profiles and predicts your next interest before you’re consciously aware of it,” Gupta wrote. “It makes hundreds of predictions per day. You ignore the misses. The five hits feel like telepathy.”
Let me explain exactly why your phone seems to read your thoughts, because the real answer is more invasive than telepathy.
Every time you open a website or app, a real-time bidding auction fires in under 100 milliseconds. Your GPS coordinates, browsing history, device… https://t.co/J2YLZkE60Vpic.twitter.com/mtL8AQCAlY
Akash Muni, a software developer, explained it even more simply:
“You are not unique. There are 10,000 people with your exact age, location, income bracket, browsing history, purchase pattern and social graph. When those 10,000 people started searching for running shoes, you hadn’t yet. But you will.”
He said it’s called “predictive behavior modeling,” and that it has become eerily accurate.
Famous case
One famous case of this kind of modeling in advertising involved Target sending coupons for baby items to a pregnant teenager’s home. The only problem was that they identified her pregnancy so quickly that her parents didn’t even know yet.
The New York Times wrote, “[A Target statistician was] able to identify about 25 products that, when analyzed together, allowed him to assign each shopper a ‘pregnancy prediction’ score. More important, he could also estimate her due date to within a small window, so Target could send coupons timed to very specific stages of her pregnancy.”
Similar modeling is used in many ways, not just advertising. Some companies combine data on their employees with known trends and events (like layoffs or changes in HR policies) to predict when someone might quit or leave—even before they do.
When it happens on your phone in a fraction of a second, it can be pretty shocking. In fact, the accuracy can be so spooky that some people refuse to believe the modeling is “predictive” at all.
“Everyone is saying it just predicts.. now explain if I just happen to think about a random product which doesn’t basically interest me in any shape or form.. for example a conversation I just happened to have like 5 years ago.. and boom!.. here you go, ads flying in right after,” one X user wrote.
“Yes, yesterday I was thinking of the cafe I once hoped for, and in the morning the first ad I saw was that cafe’s ad. How is it possible?” wrote another.
As Gupta said, predictive modeling is wrong hundreds or thousands of times a day. But we don’t notice those ads for things we’re not interested in because we’re too focused on the ones that are frighteningly accurate.
It’s hard to accept that our thoughts and choices aren’t as unique as we’d like to think they are
Some people have trouble believing that phones aren’t psychic. Photo credit: Canva
It turns out humans are actually pretty predictable. Much of what we do and think is driven by our environment and the systems we live in. Those environments and systems can be tracked and measured with incredible efficiency.
If there’s any solace to take in this relentless mining of our data, it’s that the whole system works because there are people out there just like us. There are countless others the same age, with similar family structures, interests, income brackets, and more. In another world, maybe we would all be friends!
In the meantime, we can thank them for turning us on to that awesome pair of running shoes we didn’t even know we needed.
Our bodies are miraculous, and much of the time, we don’t even know why. As we age, without any surgical help, our face shapes can change, shoulders can hunch, and teeth can shift. But one of the most obvious (and perhaps odd) differences is the size of our ears and noses.
In a recent post from the Instagram page Historic Moments, two profile photos of actor Robert De Niro are shown. In the earlier image—likely from his role as Travis Bickle in Martin Scorsese’s 1976 film Taxi Driver—his features appear proportionate. The other photo shows a more recent De Niro, where his ear (and possibly his nose) appears noticeably larger.
The caption reads, “Robert De Niro is living proof that our ears grow roughly 0.22 millimeters per year.” In the description, they write:
“Recent side-by-side comparisons of Robert De Niro vividly illustrate the physiological reality that human ears continue to grow throughout our lives. While many believe this is merely sagging skin, studies confirm that ear circumference increases by roughly 0.22 millimeters per year. This phenomenon is primarily due to the continuous growth of cartilage and the relentless effects of gravity over decades. De Niro’s evolving profile is a high-profile example of this unique aspect of the human aging process.”
The post has gone viral, suggesting that many people have wondered why this change happens. Fortunately, we have answers.
Doctors weigh in
Upworthy spoke with Dr. Ari Hoschander, the head plastic surgeon at the Rhinoplasty Center of Long Island, who shared:
“There are actually two things happening at once, and people conflate them. The nose and ears do genuinely grow, but they also appear larger because the face around them is losing volume. Volume decreases in the cheeks and temples, and the fat pads that used to provide roundness to the face start to descend or just disappear altogether. Suddenly your nose looks disproportionately larger compared to the rest of your face.”
Hoschander also discussed the cartilage issue:
“Cartilage also doesn’t behave the way bone does as you age. While bone mostly stops changing once you’re done growing, cartilage continues to slowly deform and lose its structural resilience over your entire life. The ears and nose are mostly cartilage, so the actual structure of your nose and ears continues to change over the course of your life.”
As for noses and ears?
“The nasal tip is where I see it most dramatically in practice. Gravity pulls the tip down, the supporting ligaments stretch out, and the skin loses its elasticity. So the tip droops and the nose looks longer and heavier than it did a few decades earlier. For the ears, the lobes are mostly fat and skin, so they elongate just from years of gravity, sometimes accelerated by heavy earrings. The upper ear cartilage is also slowly expanding, which is why older men in particular can end up with ears that look really big.”
A plastic surgeon explains the change
Dr. Jeffrey Lisiecki, a board-certified plastic surgeon, also shared similar insight with Upworthy. As for noses, he said they appear to grow for a couple of reasons:
“The cartilage of your nose essentially stops growing by adulthood, but the ligaments that hold those cartilages together can stretch with age, which can make your nose appear longer and more drooping with age. We also lose fat in our faces as we age, which makes our cheeks appear flatter and our nasolabial folds appear deeper, which can make the nose seem relatively larger.”
“Ears age in a similar way—the cartilage reaches its mature size before adulthood. The earlobe stretches out and becomes longer with age, which makes the ear appear larger. The earlobe also loses volume with age, and the thinning of it accelerates the process of lengthening.”
