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Pop Culture

People share 'corporate buzzwords' they'd like to fire immediately without pay

It's time to retire 'fast-paced environment' once and for all!

corporate buzzwords, askreddit
Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash

Can we pivot to something else already?

OK, hive mind. Ready to do a deep dive to develop some synergy and make a lasting impact?

Yeah, corporate lingo can be kind of cringe.

Even in the age of working from home, we are still just as subject to the latest business-speak meant to inspire and motivate employees, which instead makes our brains say “kill me please.” In fact, it’s sometimes even more awkward. Who hasn’t had an “all hands” Zoom meeting where they had to “touch base,” “circle back,” then offer a “final thought?” No one. No one, I tell you.

Reddit user u/PM_ME_YOUR_MUSIC asked, “What are the most annoying corporate buzzwords or phrases you’re sick of?” and let’s just say that people “hit the ground running” with hilarious answers. No “low-hanging fruit” here. Are you triggered yet?

Below are 11 of the best answers that anyone in a corporate environment can relate to and giggle at. Read 'em fast, and you’ll “get five minutes of your time back”.

1. "Take a more holistic approach"

I will place a rose quartz on the copy machine and rub the stapler with rosemary oil.” – @Synicist

2. “Competitive pay”

Yes your pay will be competing with your bills.” – @PM_ME_YOUR_MUSIC

3. "Our workers are part of our family"

Translation: we have boundary issues.” – @shanster925

4. When someone refers to a request as an “ask”

We had a word for this already, what was wrong with it?” – @Johanssjoberg

“Request is two syllables. Not punchy, not cool.” – @Fred2718

5. "We all wear multiple hats around here"

via GIPHY

I hear this everyday. It's just an excuse to not hire anyone else.” – @ChurchWineDrunk

6. "Rockstar"

My company already changed 'rockstar' to 'jedi' in our JD 5 years ago. They changed it to 'ninja' at the beginning of this year.” – No_Imagination_4907

“I hate your company.” – @JohnCail01

7. “Win win win”

First people said ‘win win’ for something that was good for both parties, this makes sense. One popular exec said ‘win win win’ once for something that helped us, our third party partners and the customer. That's fine as a one off and a good play on the original expression. But now every exec says it's a ‘win win win’ when something good happens. They're not even a ‘win win’, just something that's good for one party.” – @NotACockroach

8. "Willing to work in fast-paced environment"

via GIPHY

*ends up in cubicle*” – @Raven0uss

Should really hire two people but only willing to pay for one.” – @Sellswordinthegrove

9. “Core values”

A corporation is a corporation, they don't have values aside from their responsibilities to their shareholders and the law. Pretending there's some moral or ethical policy overriding any of that is insulting to the employees who are expected to parrot it.” – @Aquoad

10. "Must have excellent communication skills"

via GIPHY

What if they are just great communication skills, huh? I guess I'm screwed.” – @TheBladeRoden

11. "Young, dynamic and fast-growing team"

"In my experience, it usually means inexperienced people, frequent resignations and just general lack of stability.” – @longlegs25

Or maybe you prefer to steal this person's delightfully positive take on the whole thing:

"I love corporate buzzwords. You can send emails which sound intelligent without actually saying anything and just confuse everyone." – @boywithtwoarms

Identity

Celebrate International Women's Day with these stunning photos of female leaders changing the world

The portraits, taken by acclaimed photographer Nigel Barker, are part of CARE's "She Leads the World" campaign.

Images provided by CARE

Kadiatu (left), Zainab (right)

True

Women are breaking down barriers every day. They are transforming the world into a more equitable place with every scientific discovery, athletic feat, social justice reform, artistic endeavor, leadership role, and community outreach project.

And while these breakthroughs are happening all the time, International Women’s Day (Mar 8) is when we can all take time to acknowledge the collective progress, and celebrate how “She Leads the World.

This year, CARE, a leading global humanitarian organization dedicated to empowering women and girls, is celebrating International Women’s Day through the power of portraiture. CARE partnered with high-profile photographer Nigel Barker, best known for his work on “America’s Next Top Model,” to capture breathtaking images of seven remarkable women who have prevailed over countless obstacles to become leaders within their communities.

“Mabinty, Isatu, Adama, and Kadiatu represent so many women around the world overcoming incredible obstacles to lead their communities,” said Michelle Nunn, President and CEO of CARE USA.

Barker’s bold portraits, as part of CARE’s “She Leads The World” campaign, not only elevate each woman’s story, but also shine a spotlight on how CARE programs helped them get to where they are today.

About the women:

Mabinty

international womens day, care.org

Mabinty is a businesswoman and a member of a CARE savings circle along with a group of other women. She buys and sells groundnuts, rice, and fuel. She and her husband have created such a successful enterprise that Mabinty volunteers her time as a teacher in the local school. She was the first woman to teach there, prompting a second woman to do so. Her fellow teachers and students look up to Mabinty as the leader and educator she is.

Kadiatu

international womens day, care.org

Kadiatu supports herself through a small business selling food. She also volunteers at a health clinic in the neighboring village where she is a nursing student. She tests for malaria, works with infants, and joins her fellow staff in dancing and singing with the women who visit the clinic. She aspires to become a full-time nurse so she can treat and cure people. Today, she leads by example and with ambition.

Isatu

international womens day, care.org

When Isatu was three months pregnant, her husband left her, seeking his fortune in the gold mines. Now Isatu makes her own way, buying and selling food to support her four children. It is a struggle, but Isatu is determined to be a part of her community and a provider for her kids. A single mother of four is nothing if not a leader.

Zainab

international womens day, care.org

Zainab is the Nurse in Charge at the Maternal Child Health Outpost in her community. She is the only nurse in the surrounding area, and so she is responsible for the pre-natal health of the community’s mothers-to-be and for the safe delivery of their babies. In a country with one of the world’s worst maternal death rates, Zainab has not lost a single mother. The community rallies around Zainab and the work she does. She describes the women who visit the clinic as sisters. That feeling is clearly mutual.

Adama

international womens day, care.org

Adama is something few women are - a kehkeh driver. A kehkeh is a three-wheeled motorcycle taxi, known elsewhere as a tuktuk. Working in the Kissy neighborhood of Freetown, Adama is the primary breadwinner for her family, including her son. She keeps her riders safe in other ways, too, by selling condoms. With HIV threatening to increase its spread, this is a vital service to the community.

Ya Yaebo

international womens day, care.org

“Ya” is a term of respect for older, accomplished women. Ya Yaebo has earned that title as head of her local farmers group. But there is much more than that. She started as a Village Savings and Loan Association member and began putting money into her business. There is the groundnut farm, her team buys and sells rice, and own their own oil processing machine. They even supply seeds to the Ministry of Agriculture. She has used her success to the benefit of people in need in her community and is a vocal advocate for educating girls, not having gone beyond grade seven herself.

On Monday, March 4, CARE will host an exhibition of photography in New York City featuring these portraits, kicking off the multi-day “She Leads the World Campaign.

Learn more, view the portraits, and join CARE’s International Women's Day "She Leads the World" celebration at CARE.org/sheleads.


Health

Over or under? Surprisingly, there actually is a 'correct' way to hang a toilet paper roll.

Let's settle this silly-but-surprisingly-heated debate once and for all.

Elya/Wikimedia Commons

Should you hang the toilet paper roll over or under?



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Humans have debated things large and small over the millennia, from the democracy to breastfeeding in public to how often people ought to wash their sheets.

But perhaps the most silly-yet-surprisingly-heated household debate is the one in which we argue over which way to hang the toilet paper roll.

The "over or under" question has plagued marriages and casual acquaintances alike for over 100 years, with both sides convinced they have the soundest reasoning for putting their toilet paper loose end out or loose end under. Some people feel so strongly about right vs. wrong TP hanging that they will even flip the roll over when they go to the bathroom in the homes of strangers.

Contrary to popular belief, it's not merely an inconsequential preference. There is actually a "correct" way to hang toilet paper, according to health experts as well as the man who invented the toilet paper roll in the first place.

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Sybil Marie Hicks, from Baysville, Ontario, died on February 2, at the age of 81, but it'll be a long time before her name is forgotten. Her children have turned her into a posthumous celebrity after writing a hilarious first-person obituary for her that was published in The Hamilton Spectator on February 5, 2019.

According to her daughter, it was fitting tribute.

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Brielle Asero lost her job after 2 months.

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Some who saw the video thought that Asero came off as entitled and exemplified the younger generation’s lack of work ethic. In contrast, others sympathized with the young woman who is just beginning to understand how hard it is to find work-life balance in modern-day America.

“I’m so upset,” she says in the video. "I get on the train at 7:30 a.m., and I don't get home until 6:15 p.m. [at the] earliest. I don't have time to do anything!" Asero said in a video.

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I told a kid a riddle my dad told me when I was 7. His answer proves how far we've come.

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"A man and his son are driving in their car when they are hit by a tractor-trailer.

Photo via iStock.

(We were driving at the time, so of course this was the riddle he decided to tell.)

The father dies instantly.

The son is badly injured. Paramedics rush him to the hospital.

Photo via iStock.

As he is being wheeled into the operating room, the surgeon takes one look the boy and says:

'I can't operate on him. He's my son.'

How is that possible?!"

Without missing a beat, I answered:

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