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The clever way Utah made it easy for hundreds of Chinese same-sex couples to get married

Sometimes you've got to make the law work for you.

china gay marriage, utah gay marriage, online gay marriage
via kris krüg / Flickr / Flickr and Courthouse lover / Flickr

The Old Utah County Courthouse (Provo, Utah) and Shanghai's first gay pride parade.

Utah probably doesn't come to most people's minds when they think of places that are champions of marriage equality. Especially in Utah County, where Provo is located, which has the highest concentration of Latter-day Saints (72%) of any place in the U.S.

Latter-day Saints, known as Mormons, can be excommunicated from the church for acting on LGBTQ feelings and have put large amounts of money into campaigns to make same-sex marriage illegal.

However, two loopholes in Utah County law reported by The Guardian have allowed same-sex couples from across the globe to marry in the state. First, Utah does not have residency or citizenship requirements for marriage licenses. Second, Utah County allows for international marriages online.



The county rolled out online marriages via Zoom during the pandemic, which made it easy for people overseas to get married. All they have to do is fill out some paperwork, pay $100 and hire a licensed officiant. The paperwork is “to verify who they are,” radio host and licensed marriage officiant in Utah Michael Foley told The Guardian, “to make sure they’re of age, that it’s not part of some kind of scam, that it’s not some kind of human trafficking.”

When word of this loophole spread on Chinese LGBTQ websites, same-sex couples from all over the country began virtually flocking to Utah to get hitched. Rest of World reports that more than 200 same-sex couples from China have tied the knot through the county’s digital licensing system since 2021.

In China, same-sex marriages are illegal and marriages conducted overseas aren't recognized but couples are happy to have their relationships recognized by a legal authority somewhere in the world.

However, the Utah provisions are beneficial to residents of the Chinese city of Hong Kong, which has a little more autonomy given its designation as a Special Administrative Region. Hong Kong residents who get married in other parts of the world can apply for dependent visas for their partners. These couples are also allowed to file their taxes as married in Hong Kong.

Even though same-sex Chinese couples aren’t married in the state where they live, having their relationships legally recognized in Utah has strengthened them. It’s a strange situation when couples can escape the tyranny of the state in a place where religious fundamentalism can be just as repressive.

“Even without legal status in China for now, many gay couples … have told me that marriage has made their relationships feel more secure,” Zhijun Hu wrote in ChinaFile. “And, as one friend told me when he and his husband go to a place where marriage equality is the law of the land, their marriage means that they ‘will be treated like a family and not like strangers.’”

Newlyweds Liu Yangming and Zhu Guangyu believe that their marriage ceremony and Utah license have helped to solidify their relationship. “It made our love stronger,” Liu told Rest of World. “My husband was talking more about our responsibilities. Before, we thought we might break up someday, but now we can’t just break up.”

Foley loves being able to help people from around the world realize their dream of being married, even if it means he has to get up at odd hours of the night to accommodate his Chinese customers.

“It just makes me happy,” Foley said. “That’s the stuff that makes me get up at three o’clock in the morning to do it.”

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A very special announcement from Kristen Bell and Upworthy: Let’s end child hunger

Our mission just got a whole lot bigger.

Kristen Bell announces This Saves Lives new partnership with Upworthy.

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Every day, Upworthy shares stories that spotlight the very best of humanity. But if there’s one cause that unites us all, it’s solving child hunger.

In a recent poll of our followers, we found that child hunger is the issue they care about most. So today, we’re doing something about it. We’ve joined forces with humanitarian snack brand This Saves Lives to end child hunger.

This Saves Lives co-founder, actress Kristen Bell.

This Saves Lives was founded in 2013 with the goal of ending early childhood severe acute malnutrition. Its solution is simple, for every snack you purchase, they give life-saving food to a child in need. This Saves Lives has already donated over 30 million packets of lifesaving food in Haiti, Guatemala, Kenya and beyond. We hope our new partnership works to feed millions more.

“Will you join us? It’s easy and delicious.” — Kristen Bell.

Join us and explore delicious snacks that give back at thissaveslives.com/doinggoodtogether.

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Compassionate interaction between a frazzled dad and his 6-year-old son has people in tears

Empathy and emotional regulation are powerful to witness.

@mollymikos/TikTok

A 6-year-old and his dad shared a moment of emotional regulation after a toddler meltdown.

Anyone who has parented a spirited "threenager" knows how hard handling toddler tantrums can be. Parents often joke about our wee ones throwing down, because laughter is sometimes the only way to cope. But in reality, it can be extremely disturbing and distressing for the entire household when a family member carries on in a way that feels—or truly is—out of control.

Major tantrums can be especially hard for parents who didn't have good parenting examples themselves. It takes superhuman patience to be the parents we want to be some days, and none of us does it perfectly all the time. When a child is screaming and crying over something irrational and nothing seems to be working to get them to stop, exhausted parents can lose their cool and respond in ways they normally wouldn't.

That's one reason a TikTok video of a father and son captured in the aftermath of an epic toddler tantrum has caught people's attention. Many of us have been in the dad's shoes before, frazzled and shaken by the relentlessness and intensity of a 3-year-old's meltdown. And many of us have been in the son's shoes as well, witnessing a younger sibling's insanity and our parents' struggle to manage the situation.

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Bombas
Bombas
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This is the most important van in NYC… and it’s full of socks.

How can socks make such a huge difference? You'd be surprised.

all photos provided by Coalition for The Homeless

Every night, the van delivers nourishment in all kinds of ways to those who need it most

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Homelessness in New York City has reached its highest levels since the Great Depression of the 1930s. Over 50,000 people sleep each night in a shelter, while thousands of others rely on city streets, the subway system and other public locations as spaces to rest.

That’s why this meal (and sock) delivery van is an effective resource for providing aid to those experiencing homelessness in New York City.

Every night of the year, from 7pm to 9:30, the Coalition for the Homeless drives a small fleet of vans to over 25 stops throughout upper and lower Manhattan and in the Bronx. At each stop, adults and families in need can receive a warm meal, a welcoming smile from volunteers, and a fresh, comfy new pair of Bombas socks. Socks may be even more important than you think.

Bombas was founded in 2013 after the discovery that socks were the #1 most requested clothing item at homeless shelters.

Access to fresh, clean socks is often limited for individuals experiencing homelessness—whether someone is living on the street and walking for much of the day, or is unstably housed without reliable access to laundry or storage. And for individuals experiencing or at risk of homelessness —expenses might need to be prioritized for more critical needs like food, medication, school supplies, or gas. Used socks can’t be donated to shelters for hygienic reasons, making this important item even more difficult to supply to those who need it the most.

Bombas offers its consumers durable, long-lasting and comfortable socks, and for every pair of Bombas socks purchased, an additional pair of specially-designed socks is donated to organizations supporting those in need, like Coalition for the Homeless. What started out as a simple collaboration with a few organizations and nonprofits to help individuals without housing security has quickly become a bona fide giving movement. Bombas now has approximately 3,500 Giving Partners nationwide.

Though every individual’s experience is unique, there can frequently be an inherent lack of trust of institutions that want to help—making a solution even more challenging to achieve. “I’ve had people reach out when I’m handing them a pair of socks and their hands are shaking and they’re looking around, and they’re wondering ‘why is this person being nice to me?’” Robbi Montoya—director at Dorothy Day House, another Giving Partner—told Bombas.

Donations like socks are a small way to create connection. And they can quickly become something much bigger. Right now over 1,000 people receive clothing and warm food every night, rain or shine, from a Coalition for the Homeless van. That bit of consistent kindness during a time of struggle can help offer the feeling of true support. This type of encouragement is often crucial for organizations to help those take the next difficult steps towards stability.

This philosophy helped Bombas and its abundance of Giving Partners extend their reach beyond New York City. Over 75 million clothing items have been donated to those who need it the most across all 50 states. Over the years Bombas has accumulated all kinds of valuable statistics, information, and highlights from Giving Partners similar to the Coalition for the Homeless vans and Dorothy Day House, which can be found in the Bombas Impact Report.

In the Impact Report, you’ll also find out how to get involved—whether it’s purchasing a pair of Bombas socks to get another item donated, joining a volunteer group, or shifting the conversation around homelessness to prioritize compassion and humanity.

To find out more, visit BeeBetter.com.

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A letter to my mother-in-law who spoiled my sons

"It's pointless to dwell on regrets, but I often think about how I had it all wrong. I was so wrong in how I perceived your generosity."

Tina Platamura

This article originally appeared on 04.14.16


You always stole my thunder. You gave them everything they wanted. You never said no when they asked for anything.

Tina Platamura

A second helping of dessert. Candy before dinner. A few more minutes in the bath. Money for the ice cream truck.

I struggled to show you respect and appreciation while trying to make sure you didn't spoil my children. I thought you would turn them into “selfish brats" by giving them everything they wanted. I thought they might never learn to wait, to take turns, to share, because you granted their wishes as soon as they opened their mouths and pointed.

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Education

A dad's hilarious letter to school asks them to explain why they're living in 1968.

"I look forward to this being rectified and my daughter and other girls at the school being returned to this millennium."

This article originally appeared on 12.08.17.


Earlier this week, Stephen Callaghan's daughter Ruby came home from school. When he asked her how her day was, her answer made him raise an eyebrow.

Ruby, who's in the sixth grade at her school in Australia, told her dad that the boys would soon be taken on a field trip to Bunnings (a hardware chain in the area) to learn about construction.

The girls, on the other hand? While the boys were out learning, they would be sent to the library to have their hair and makeup done.

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