Being single can be awesome. 7 illustrations capture that.
Valentine's Day or any other, there is a leisure sometimes in being on one's own.
What if being single isn't a status to run from but to revel in?
That's the question these seven images practically beg us to ask. Idalia Candelas sketched a series of drawings depicting a content woman in solitude, capturing the free-spiritedness that being alone can sometimes afford. There will be times we are trying out a relationship, and there will be times we are neither in a relationship nor seeking one. So why not absolutely live life to the fullest in each of those times?
By and large, people aren't that down about being single, it seems.
I asked several single people about their feelings toward Valentine's Day, and refreshingly, so many indicated that the day for them is just about love — whether that love is for a significant other, friends, family, or themselves didn't diminish the meaning of the day. It's just another opportunity to make a fuss over the people they hold dear.
Most said that looking back on Valentine's Days spent alone or with friends compared to the ones spent with a significant other, they prefer the easygoing, expectation-free single occasions.
"I prefer my Valentine's Day ALONE! SO MUCH ALONE! There are so many weird traditions and expectations embedded in the holiday when you're dating someone. Gifts, money, awkward conversations about the stage of your relationship, crappy late reservations at an average restaurant that costs too much and is loud and covered in papier mache hearts. No thanks- give me my wine and my couch and call it a day!" — Bee S.
And yet, the majority of respondents also said they still believe in love and, while content being single now, do see themselves trying for love again someday.
"I like falling in love. I love love! I like being part of a team. And I like the idea of being with someone who I love and respect and laugh with, unfettered by petty resentments, etc. But I'm also willing to wait — maybe forever? — for this to happen." — Karen R.
When asked what one word sums up being single for them, these were the results. Most were mixed, but the ones that kept recurring were "content" and "free."
And maybe that's why these illustrations touch the chord that they do in viewers. Some of us are perfectly happy being on our own and are surrounded by love. Love of the simple pleasures in life, love of silence in which to think creative or serious thoughts, love for indulging in our favorite pastimes without worry about another's happiness.
Take a gander for yourself.
All images by Idalia Candelas, used with permission.
Soak up the utter luxury of alone time these images convey. Are we appreciating the current phase of life we're in as much as we could be? If not, drop what you're doing and do something lovely for yourself. Settle into your comfiest spot with a book you've been meaning to get to or take yourself to a movie. Eat something wickedly delicious. Call a friend on the phone and giggle about something ridiculous going on in your lives.
Being good to yourself isn't corny ... it's part of respecting yourself as a worthy human, no matter your relationship status or day of the year.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."