Andy and Sarah are on a mission to teach their kids the joy of helping others.
What started out as a volunteer opportunity turned into a fun and rewarding way to spend time together as a family.
Have you ever thought about packing the whole family in the car for a road trip — while helping others along the way?
Andy and Sarah Ferguson did just that.
Andy wanted to put the family car to good use and find a way for Noah, age 8, and James, age 5, to help others. Citymeals on Wheels turned out to be a perfect fit for the whole family.
Not only did they discover a great organization where the boys could truly be helpful, but Andy and Sarah found several ways to teach their sons about compassion, patience, and kindness through bringing meals to elderly people who are homebound.
Image via Andy Ferguson, used with permission.
Noah and James help organize the meals as their parents reference the list of recipients on the delivery route. Then the whole family piles into the car and drives to the Bronx while the boys look for the street signs and building numbers that their parents read from the list. The boys take turns carrying the meals, pushing elevator buttons, or finding and ringing the right doorbells.
Some of the Citymeals on Wheels recipients have ailments, illnesses, or disabilities that make it difficult for them to leave their homes.
Many of them are delighted to see the children. Some have even said that receiving a meal from Noah and James is the best part of their weekend.
While Andy admits that knowing his sons can bring joy to someone who needs their help might be his favorite thing about volunteering, he knows that greater life lessons are being instilled in his children through volunteering for Citymeals.
Volunteering is a great way to get exposure to different perspectives.
While delivering meals, Noah and James get to see how people who are different from them live their lives.
The boys have had glimpses of many different homes and apartments, and they can see that some people are less fortunate. Some are less organized. Some keep immaculate homes. Some are very gracious and appreciative. Some are indifferent. Some need a lot of help. Some have a hard time making it to the door.
Andy and Sarah have had countless teachable moments while driving around the Bronx with their sons.
"They ask questions about the woman they just saw with an oxygen tank, and the man who answered the door in a wheelchair," says Andy. "It gives us an opportunity to show them that sometimes people need help, and we are able to be the ones who can help them."
While the boys have fun getting in and out of the car and peeking in the doors of different apartments, Andy hopes that when they're older, they'll remember the smiles on the faces of recipients and how easy it is to help someone else.
"I want them to learn to help whenever they can. If they see someone in need and they can offer a hand, that they'll be the types of people who'll just do it."
A family road trip can be an adventure, but for Andy, Sarah, Noah, and James, delivering for Citymeals makes for a road trip with a totally different kind of purpose and destination.
Instead of driving to a park, landmark, museum, or something for their own amusement on a Saturday afternoon, their car takes them to opportunities to experience more compassion, kindness, gratitude, and community. And that's well worth the trip.
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.