Adam Sandler's teen daughters wrote his award speech and it was delightfully savage
A legendary roasting.

Sandler's daughters held nothing back.
Clearly the funny gene runs in the Sandler family. Comedy aficionado Adam Sandler just proved it after reading an insanely funny acceptance speech, which was allegedly written by his two teenage daughters— Sunny, 14, and Sadie, 16. It was such a savage roast, one is compelled to not doubt the claim.
The event was the prestigious Gotham Awards in New York, where Sandler was set to accept a Lifetime Achievement Award. Michelle Williams and the late Sidney Poitier were also honored, just to give you an idea as to how highbrow this event was.
But did that stop Sandler’s daughter from going all out? It did not. They were hilariously ruthless.
Sandler first explained that his daughters found it “rude” that he was “too f—king tired” to write his own speech, so they would offer their services. Of course, Sandler agreed, since it would be nice to see them “doing something other than watching YouTube or going to f—king Lululemon every f—king weekend.”
Reading the entire thing as his daughters requested—in the “goofy Southern accent you do all your dumb speeches in”—Sandler struggled not to split at the seams.
Full video is below, but the speech starts around the 6:39 mark:
He managed to gracefully thank the “well-dressed dignitaries, highly educated hipsters and various other plus-ones of the Gotham Awards,” but completely lost it after having to say, “It means a lot to him seeing how most of the awards on his trophy shelf are shaped like popcorn buckets, blimps or fake mini-Oscars that say 'Father of the Year,' which he sadly purchased himself while wandering in a self-pitying fog through the headshops of Times Square.” Wow. Shots fired!
Things only got more brutal as they reviewed “Daddy’s silly film career,” which apparently was formed by "two guiding principles: people in prison need movies too and TBS needs content.”
Though Sunny and Sadie were bummed to not be there at the awards, they informed the audience that they would be at home enjoying all the things they weren’t normally allowed to do, the most daring activity being to "laugh out loud at Ben Stiller movies.”
"The last time Daddy caught us chuckling away at the ‘Meet the Parents’ trilogy,” they teased, “he immediately stormed into the room he calls 'The Screaming Room,' which we just call the shower, and bellowed out the phrase, 'Only the Sandman makes people laugh! F—k every other comedian!'"
Sandler finally dropped the accent after the speech was complete, but didn't leave before thanking his wife, whom his daughter thinks is more deserving of a lifetime achievement award for “putting up with daddy and his crazy f—king mood swings all these years.” Sandler concurred.
Sandler’s daughters definitely inherited their father’s uncanny ability to be crass and delightfully charming all at the same time. Even if his movies aren’t your cup of tea, I think we can all agree this was a comedic masterpiece.- Jodie Sweetin from 'Full House' reveals the touching way that Bob Saget was part of her wedding ›
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A Generation Jones teenager poses in her room.Image via Wikmedia Commons
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An Irish woman went to the doctor for a routine eye exam. She left with bright neon green eyes.
It's not easy seeing green.
Did she get superpowers?
Going to the eye doctor can be a hassle and a pain. It's not just the routine issues and inconveniences that come along when making a doctor appointment, but sometimes the various devices being used to check your eyes' health feel invasive and uncomfortable. But at least at the end of the appointment, most of us don't look like we're turning into The Incredible Hulk. That wasn't the case for one Irish woman.
Photographer Margerita B. Wargola was just going in for a routine eye exam at the hospital but ended up leaving with her eyes a shocking, bright neon green.
At the doctor's office, the nurse practitioner was prepping Wargola for a test with a machine that Wargola had experienced before. Before the test started, Wargola presumed the nurse had dropped some saline into her eyes, as they were feeling dry. After she blinked, everything went yellow.
Wargola and the nurse initially panicked. Neither knew what was going on as Wargola suddenly had yellow vision and radioactive-looking green eyes. After the initial shock, both realized the issue: the nurse forgot to ask Wargola to remove her contact lenses before putting contrast drops in her eyes for the exam. Wargola and the nurse quickly removed the lenses from her eyes and washed them thoroughly with saline. Fortunately, Wargola's eyes were unharmed. Unfortunately, her contacts were permanently stained and she didn't bring a spare pair.
- YouTube youtube.com
Since she has poor vision, Wargola was forced to drive herself home after the eye exam wearing the neon-green contact lenses that make her look like a member of the Green Lantern Corps. She couldn't help but laugh at her predicament and recorded a video explaining it all on social media. Since then, her video has sparked a couple Reddit threads and collected a bunch of comments on Instagram:
“But the REAL question is: do you now have X-Ray vision?”
“You can just say you're a superhero.”
“I would make a few stops on the way home just to freak some people out!”
“I would have lived it up! Grab a coffee, do grocery shopping, walk around a shopping center.”
“This one would pair well with that girl who ate something with turmeric with her invisalign on and walked around Paris smiling at people with seemingly BRIGHT YELLOW TEETH.”
“I would save those for fancy special occasions! WOW!”
“Every time I'd stop I'd turn slowly and stare at the person in the car next to me.”
“Keep them. Tell people what to do. They’ll do your bidding.”
In a follow-up Instagram video, Wargola showed her followers that she was safe at home with normal eyes, showing that the damaged contact lenses were so stained that they turned the saline solution in her contacts case into a bright Gatorade yellow. She wasn't mad at the nurse and, in fact, plans on keeping the lenses to wear on St. Patrick's Day or some other special occasion.
While no harm was done and a good laugh was had, it's still best for doctors, nurses, and patients alike to double-check and ask or tell if contact lenses are being worn before each eye test. If not, there might be more than ultra-green eyes to worry about.