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Abby Wambach's 4 rules for success brought this graduating class to its feet.

U.S. Soccer legend Abby Wambach addressed the Barnard College Class of 2018, letting them in on her four secrets to success.

Her commencement address, delivered to the New York women's college, took a long look at her own career — the things she'd do the same and the things she'd change.

Her remarkable speech deviated from some of the more common tropes that make their way into graduation speeches, and instead, she focused on the importance of teamwork.


Even as the all-time leading scorer in U.S. soccer history, the two-time Olympic gold medalist and 2015 World Cup champion emphasized the importance of working as a team. Barnard graduates are their own team, women are a team, and marginalized groups are a team — with considerable overlap among them.

"Like all little girls, I was taught to be grateful. I was taught to keep my head down, stay on the path, and get my job done. I was freaking Little Red Riding Hood," she said to laughter from the crowd.

It's that "Little Red Riding Hood" mentality that she urged graduates to break with.

"If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, it would be this: 'Abby, you were never Little Red Riding Hood; you were always the wolf,'" she said, calling on members of the audience to embrace their places in the wolf pack.

[rebelmouse-image 19477196 dam="1" original_size="500x281" caption="All GIFs from Barnard/YouTube." expand=1]All GIFs from Barnard/YouTube.

Below are the four rules for success Wambach offered graduates. The rest of us can probably learn a few things from them as well.

1. "Make failure your fuel."

"Here's something the best athletes understand, but seems like a hard concept for non-athletes to grasp," she said:

"Non-athletes don't know what to do with the gift of failure. So they hide it, pretend it never happened, reject it outright — and they end up wasting it. Listen: Failure is not something to be ashamed of, it's something to be POWERED by. Failure is the highest octane fuel your life can run on. You gotta learn to make failure your fuel."

What followed was a story about the time she was on the Youth National Team and got to visit the U.S. Women's National Team when she noticed a conspicuously placed photo reminding the adult team of its failure in the 1995 World Cup.

2. "Lead from the bench."

As her career wound down to a close, Wambach was asked to take a new and unfamiliar role on the team: the bench player. She wasn't happy about it, but went on to say how it inspired her to learn a new way of leadership — one we can all rally around.

"You'll feel benched sometimes too. You'll be passed over for the promotion, taken off the project — you might even find yourself holding a baby instead of a briefcase — watching your colleagues 'get ahead,'" she said:

"Here's what's important. You are allowed to be disappointed when it feels like life's benched you. What you aren't allowed to do is miss your opportunity to lead from the bench. During that last World Cup, my teammates told me that my presence, my support, my vocal and relentless belief in them from the bench is what gave them the confidence they needed to win us that championship. If you're not a leader on the bench, don't call yourself a leader on the field. You're either a leader everywhere or nowhere."

3. "Champion each other."

Women often find themselves set up against one another, competing for a single seat at the bargaining table. Wambach called on graduates to reject the premise of a single seat, instead using the collective power of the "wolf pack" to create a place for everybody.

"Scarcity has been planted inside of us and among us. This scarcity is not our fault. But it is our problem. And it is within our power to create abundance for women where scarcity used to live," she said:

"As you go out into the world: Amplify each others' voices. Demand seats for women, people of color and all marginalized people at every table where decisions are made. Call out each other's wins just like we do on the field, claim the success of one woman as a collective success for all women. Joy. Success. Power. These are not pies where a bigger slice for her means a smaller slice for you. These are infinite. In any revolution, the way to make something true starts with believing it is. Let's claim infinite joy, success, and power — together."

4. "Demand the ball."

Touching on the story of one of her idols, fellow U.S. soccer star Michelle Akers, Wambach stressed the importance of being assertive when necessary and knowing your value. Too often, women are warned not to rock the boat, not to go too far off the path.

If we want progress, however, it's not going to come from sitting back and being polite, she warned:

"Women, at this moment in history, leadership is calling us to say: 'Give me the effing ball. Give me the effing job. Give me the same pay that the guy next to me gets. Give me the promotion. Give me the microphone. Give me the Oval Office. Give me the respect I've earned and give it to my wolf pack, too.'"

There's a lot to learn from Wambach's speech, but the most important message is actually a question: Who do you want to be?

"Don't just ask yourself, 'What do I want to do?'" she said in her closing. "Ask yourself, 'Who do I want to be?'"

Watch the entire speech below. You can also read the transcript on Barnard's website.

Identity

Celebrate International Women's Day with these stunning photos of female leaders changing the world

The portraits, taken by acclaimed photographer Nigel Barker, are part of CARE's "She Leads the World" campaign.

Images provided by CARE

Kadiatu (left), Zainab (right)

True

Women are breaking down barriers every day. They are transforming the world into a more equitable place with every scientific discovery, athletic feat, social justice reform, artistic endeavor, leadership role, and community outreach project.

And while these breakthroughs are happening all the time, International Women’s Day (Mar 8) is when we can all take time to acknowledge the collective progress, and celebrate how “She Leads the World.

This year, CARE, a leading global humanitarian organization dedicated to empowering women and girls, is celebrating International Women’s Day through the power of portraiture. CARE partnered with high-profile photographer Nigel Barker, best known for his work on “America’s Next Top Model,” to capture breathtaking images of seven remarkable women who have prevailed over countless obstacles to become leaders within their communities.

“Mabinty, Isatu, Adama, and Kadiatu represent so many women around the world overcoming incredible obstacles to lead their communities,” said Michelle Nunn, President and CEO of CARE USA.

Barker’s bold portraits, as part of CARE’s “She Leads The World” campaign, not only elevate each woman’s story, but also shine a spotlight on how CARE programs helped them get to where they are today.

About the women:

Mabinty

international womens day, care.org

Mabinty is a businesswoman and a member of a CARE savings circle along with a group of other women. She buys and sells groundnuts, rice, and fuel. She and her husband have created such a successful enterprise that Mabinty volunteers her time as a teacher in the local school. She was the first woman to teach there, prompting a second woman to do so. Her fellow teachers and students look up to Mabinty as the leader and educator she is.

Kadiatu

international womens day, care.org

Kadiatu supports herself through a small business selling food. She also volunteers at a health clinic in the neighboring village where she is a nursing student. She tests for malaria, works with infants, and joins her fellow staff in dancing and singing with the women who visit the clinic. She aspires to become a full-time nurse so she can treat and cure people. Today, she leads by example and with ambition.

Isatu

international womens day, care.org

When Isatu was three months pregnant, her husband left her, seeking his fortune in the gold mines. Now Isatu makes her own way, buying and selling food to support her four children. It is a struggle, but Isatu is determined to be a part of her community and a provider for her kids. A single mother of four is nothing if not a leader.

Zainab

international womens day, care.org

Zainab is the Nurse in Charge at the Maternal Child Health Outpost in her community. She is the only nurse in the surrounding area, and so she is responsible for the pre-natal health of the community’s mothers-to-be and for the safe delivery of their babies. In a country with one of the world’s worst maternal death rates, Zainab has not lost a single mother. The community rallies around Zainab and the work she does. She describes the women who visit the clinic as sisters. That feeling is clearly mutual.

Adama

international womens day, care.org

Adama is something few women are - a kehkeh driver. A kehkeh is a three-wheeled motorcycle taxi, known elsewhere as a tuktuk. Working in the Kissy neighborhood of Freetown, Adama is the primary breadwinner for her family, including her son. She keeps her riders safe in other ways, too, by selling condoms. With HIV threatening to increase its spread, this is a vital service to the community.

Ya Yaebo

international womens day, care.org

“Ya” is a term of respect for older, accomplished women. Ya Yaebo has earned that title as head of her local farmers group. But there is much more than that. She started as a Village Savings and Loan Association member and began putting money into her business. There is the groundnut farm, her team buys and sells rice, and own their own oil processing machine. They even supply seeds to the Ministry of Agriculture. She has used her success to the benefit of people in need in her community and is a vocal advocate for educating girls, not having gone beyond grade seven herself.

On Monday, March 4, CARE will host an exhibition of photography in New York City featuring these portraits, kicking off the multi-day “She Leads the World Campaign.

Learn more, view the portraits, and join CARE’s International Women's Day "She Leads the World" celebration at CARE.org/sheleads.


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Let's settle this silly-but-surprisingly-heated debate once and for all.

Elya/Wikimedia Commons

Should you hang the toilet paper roll over or under?



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